I hope everyone had a stellar weekend! Mine was a bit boring because my husband spend most of both days fixing mechanical stuff like pressure washers, etc. But I was able to replace a lot of my dead potted plants with new, vibrant ones. Little do those new plants know that, under my care, their days are numbered. Sigh.
Emma, Erik and I were recently on the wonderful radio show, “We Don’t Die” with host, Sandra Champlain. Emma and Sandra heard a male voice somewhere toward the beginning, but I didn’t. It might have been because I had to leave for a while and let Emma take over. Why? Because the freaking dogs started barking at the door. They NEVER bark that incessantly, but at that moment, my neighbor was having some sort of function, so there were over 12 cars on our little street with people walking toward their house, in front of ours. So I had to lock them up in my bedroom. I felt so embarrassed. Here I had unplugged my phone, my fax, muted my cell phone and put a note on the door, but obviously, the little rascals failed to read it. Anyway, here it is. Let me know if you find an EVP, and share on your social media!
Don’t forget about Erik’s Hour of Enlightenment radio show TODAY at 5:00 PM PT/7:00 PM CT/8:00 PM ET. No more than 15 minutes before the top of the hour, call 619-639-4606 to ask Erik your question. There are three ways to listen: Listen on the phone line, click on the “Listen” icon on the right sidebar of the blog or click on this link: http://goo.gl/aFHTzJ
During this show, Erik will discuss what to do if you have a relationship of any sort with a narcissist and what to do if you, yourself, suffer from narcissism.
Enjoy this fascinating interview with Paddock, graciously transcribed by Joao Pedro C. The YouTube version follows.
Elisa: Hi miss Veronica! How are you?
Veronica: Hey! I am wonderful, thank you. How are you feeling?
Elisa: I’m feeling better. How’s my boy? Hi Erik!
Veronica: Erik is here and he is doing this (blowing kisses) and he has promised to sit right on my shoulder this whole time hmm because admittedly I’m a little anxious.
Elisa: I know. It’s a difficult situation we’re about to, peeps, interview Stephen Paddock, the one that shot all those people in that horrible Las Vegas massacre. So, Erik do you think you can bring him in?
Veronica: And he’s very protective of both of our energies. He wants to assure us and he wants to express his sympathies to the families and I do as well.
Elisa: Me too.
Veronica: I want everyone to know that we take this very seriously and the reason I agreed and Erik agreed to do this is so that we could bring peace and enlightenment to people and, again, Erik
is gonna guard us and protect us because I feel we’re going to need it so…
Elisa: Yeah, so this is not for voyeuristic reasons, we just want answers and closures and maybe some things will help us learn whatever we need to learn to prevent this from happening or…
Veronica: It’s educational. Erik is reminding us and yes, we do have him here.
Elisa: All right Mr. Paddock, thank you for coming.
Stephen Paddock: You’re welcome.
Veronica: He’s very guarded, I can tell you that he’s very guarded.
Elisa: Well, first of all, I have a list of questions from blog members and so they’re kind of helter-skelter, they’re not in any particular order so it might jump around a little bit. People want to know is why? Why?
Stephen Paddock: I was born this way. I wasn’t created, I was born this way and the fact that I am NOT traditional in any sense of the word. I don’t fit the “profiles”. It does open eyes in a whole different way and if you look at the big meaning behind why I did what I did, you will understand that this is going to wake the world up in a whole different way and it’s going to put the light where it belongs on mental illness.
Elisa: So, you feel like you had mental illness all your life?
Stephen Paddock: I feel that I had a genetic predisposition to this and yes, I do feel like there was something that wasn’t right in my brain although I did well concealing it.
Elisa: Did you ever get treatment for any psychiatric illness?
Stephen Paddock: Depression.
Stephen Paddock: But it wasn’t, again, mainstream. I have enough money to find other vices, other than treatment.
Elisa: Okay, for example?
Stephen Paddock: I would buy and sell things, I could buy anything. I liked risk.
Elisa: Like gambling?
Stephen Paddock: I liked to take chances. I liked to figure out the odds.
Elisa: Yeah, all right. So, you don’t know this might not work but can you give us a diagnosis, what sort of mental illnesses you have?
Stephen Paddock: It had to do with my personality.
Elisa: Like a personality disorder?
Stephen Paddock: It had to do with me having grandiose thoughts, it had to do a little bit with me being narcissistic. It had to do with me wanting control, me getting the accolades, me getting the spotlight on me.
Elisa: So, was it like borderline personality with narcissists tendencies, is that what you would say or something else like schizophrenia, bipolar disease? There’s so many and the DSM listing of mental illness…
Stephen Paddock: In your world, you would probably call me schizophrenic at times, you would probably see me as bipolar, you would probably see me as depressed although I want to preface this with I was a chameleon, I hit it really, really well. I’m not gonna blame anybody and say that they should have stopped me, I’m not gonna go there. I’m gonna say to you that I did what I did because I want to show where the loopholes are, I want to show you what you missed.
Elisa: I will get into that. What triggered this particular thing, I mean for example was there any reason that country music concert was targeted? What was the trigger? There’s always a trigger in these things.
Stephen Paddock: It was time, there really wasn’t any one trigger. I have been building up to this for a very long time. I intentionally went there, knowing what I was gonna do. It was the closest venue, it was the easiest access I was familiar with the venue and nobody got. I got in under the radar, nobody suspected anything. It was just time for it to happen.
Elisa: Well, in your mentally ill mind, what was your rationale?
Stephen Paddock: People need to look at the real issue, they… It doesn’t matter how I got my guns or how many guns I got, that’s irrelevant. Your vision of right and wrong when it comes to guns it’s so eschewed that it’s crazy.
Elisa: You’re talking from the perspective of the spirit Stephen Paddock, as the mentally ill Stephen Paddock? What did you tell yourself? I need to do this because (blank)? What was that blank? What did you? What was your logic there?
Stephen Paddock: Chuckles. Logic, do I have logic?
Elisa: Well, what would your rationale, the human Stephen Paddock? Was it a political reason, ideological reason, you know?
Stephen Paddock: I wanted to and I wanted to prove that I could. You see, for me it’s always been about doing the things that people thought I couldn’t do or people thought no-one could do.
Elisa: Well, some people say that the government exerted some sort of mind control on you and said that you were forced to do this or your family would be tortured. Rumor has it that the Batman movie shooter was a MK ULTRA victim, which is mind control from the government. Was that the case?
Stephen Paddock: Not at all.
Elisa: Okay, I figured that. Did you act alone.
Stephen Paddock: This was me acting on freewill and, yes, I was a solo soldier.
Elisa: So, no connection with a terrorist organization or anti-FA (sp?)?
Stephen Paddock: No, but everybody will want to ride my coattails
Elisa: Yeah, they tried to.
Stephen Paddock: I created this, I take responsibility for it; The way I the way I owned up to it, you know? I knew it was time for me to exit. I knew I had that planned, I even sent people I loved away so that they didn’t have to watch the exit strategy.
Elisa: Yeah. Was some sort of spiritual contract that you came in here for or with?
Stephen Paddock: I don’t know about that, but mass destruction has always been part of my makeup. I was never happy with status quo. I wasn’t happy unless I was destroying something, whether it was people’s expectations, whether it was friendships, whether it was relationships. The thrill I got out of doing things that nobody thought could be done was my euphoria, it was my high, it was orgasmic to me.
Elisa: Well, I feel so unrequited. I would have liked it heard like ‘well, I hate Republicans’ or ‘I hate country music’ or you know, something like that, or ‘I lost a bunch of money gambling and I wanted to, you know, retaliate’. Nothing like that, just like ‘I wanted to prove I could’, that’s it?
Stephen Paddock: I wanted to prove I could and for those of you that think there’s a conspiracy theory behind this you know, it kind of makes me angry because the reality is I did all of this, I masterminded it, I planned it. It was all me and yeah, I can talk to you about political stuff and I can tell you ‘yeah, I hit I hit the wall gambling’ but none of that was really the impetus to push me into this, it really wasn’t.
Elisa: Well, it was like a spiritual contract, like ‘I want to shed, I plan on doing this before incarnating, so that I could shed light on mental illness or on gun control or on something else that was done’?
Stephen Paddock: It was, it was. Its the mental illness component. Listen I know I am the most hated man in America right now, I know that. Here’s the thing: I had to do this. I heard…
Veronica: He’s going like this (pointing with the fingers towards the brain).
Stephen Paddock: I heard then I had to do this, to open people’s eyes. It’s not about the guns, it’s not about the guns. I had a plethora of guns. I got guns because I could get guns, anybody can get a gun E: Yeah, and modify them to become automatic weapons…
Stephen Paddock: Of course.
Elisa: First, did you or did you intend to take your life?
Stephen Paddock: Oh always! It was always part of the plan, are you kidding?! I wasn’t gonna stick around. I was I was too cowardly for that
Elisa: Oh gosh, that’s amazing that you admit that. So, when you started seeing people being mowed down by your bullets, what did you feel? (Veronica started to cry). Oh, Veronica, I’m sorry. If you want to quit at any time, we can okay?
Stephen Paddock: It was euphoric.
Elisa: Do you have any regrets?
Veronica: He doesn’t feel remorseful at this point because he sees it as his mission it’s ‘I went into battle’, he said. ‘I had a task to accomplish’.
Elisa: Okay. Well, I wish you had picked a better and more humanitarian tasks, all I can say. Did your father’s history influence you? Because I know he was like a bank robber and he was a psychopath…
Stephen Paddock: He was a scumbag. He was a scumbag and yes, I do believe his influence within me, DNA wise. I believe that.
Elisa: What about your childhood? Tell us about your childhood.
Stephen Paddock: I was a very introverted child. I amused myself. I wasn’t your typical profile person who would grow up and do this. I was mainstreamed in the sense that I was always creating things, I was curious about things, I was developing things. I’m a very intelligent person.
Elisa: I could tell.
Stephen Paddock: And this was pure free will and choice, I cannot emphasize that enough.
Elisa: Tell us more about your childhood with your parents or siblings or, I don’t know. I mean, did you have a good childhood? Did you had child abuse going on in your history?
Stephen Paddock: I shut off a lot, I turned off. I tuned out; I created the world that I had inside of my own head.
Elisa: Why? Because you… Did you suffer abuse, emotional or physical…
Stephen Paddock: There was a lot of emotional abuse and there was physical abuse. But again, like I lived my life, I was taught that it was to be under wraps and so if you looked at the surface of what I had, you would just walk by thinking I was pretty normal.
Veronica: “Normal”, he says air-quote.
Stephen Paddock: Mental abuse was horrific. It was just constant badgering and belittling. I can see now that it was probably an effort to get me to raise my standards and become more connected to life, I was very lethargic in my connections to life. It was just it was effortless when I felt like an actor in my life, when I would go out into the world and go to my job and do my life, I was acting. It was a role I hid my true self.
Elisa: Well, who mostly abused you?
Stephen Paddock: I was emotionally abused by my mother.
Elisa: Really? So your father wasn’t in the picture, maybe he went to jail
Stephen Paddock: He wasn’t around and my mother’s hurt and anger continued.
Elisa: Because of the father?
Stephen Paddock: Yeah, it just was a horrible, horrible thing. I’m not making excuses, no. I’m not making excuses.
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