Ascended Master-Baitors

Erik Skywalker

So my dear, mutual Erik friends, our young man got me good.  Oh yes, he did.  I didn’t think it would happen, but wow.  WOW is all I can say.

When I began talking to Erik, I received a number of kind-hearted emails “warning” me of Erik’s impending antics.  Get ready!  He’s such a prankster – he’ll moon you!  He’ll stink up the place!  He’ll do something to shock you!

Pshaw.  I am a child of the 90s, people.  We invented the phrase “whatever.”

Well around that time, I managed to lose a set of earphones.  It was a minor inconvenience, and I’ve been borrowing my Sweetie’s earphones, leaving her without music for her jogging.  We looked *everywhere* for the freaking things, but we didn’t really think much of it.  Stuff gets lost, right?  They’ll turn up eventually.

This afternoon (Friday) at work, I pulled my iPhone out of my scrubs shirt pocket and not one but TWO sets of ear phones were wrapped around the device.

There is NO WAY those earphones were in that pocket this morning.  That would mean that they had been in the scrub shirt and gone through the industrial hospital washer and dryer.  I have washed earphones before and seen what happened to them – these earphones were NOT in the scrub top when I put it on in the morning.

I also distinctly remember having those earphones at home before I lost them.  I listen to them at work, and then I listen to them as I ride my bike home from work – if I’d left them in my scrub top, I would have noticed immediately!

SOMEONE put those earphones in my shirt pocket WHILE I WAS WEARING IT!!  I didn’t figure out it was Erik until I got home and told the story to Sweetie, and suddenly remembered one of those “warning” emails – He hides stuff!  Then I knew it – I just KNEW it was him!

Erik just blew my mind-hole, people.  I have seen and heard some amazing signs and confirmations from some of these spirit friends, but never has anyone actually transported an object from one location ON TO MY PERSON!  I am so freaking impressed with Erik right now.

I thought you folks would enjoy that.  You were right, he got me!  ANYWAY!  On to our topic…

There’s a bit of a lead-in to this conversation with Erik:  a while back, I had a crazy-vivid dream about Erik.  (Not *that* kind of dream, Erik, sheesh.)  He was very proud to share he had been “promoted”.  Chuffed is the best word for this feeling of pride and growth.  The visual is Erik in a white robe thing, (he clarified not a poufy night shirt – a COOL robe) standing next to John Lennon.

That dream sparked two weeks of discussion and today’s entry.

The thing about that visual, Erik next to John just radiating pride, it really stuck with me and I felt like I was missing something.  The message was incomplete – he was promoted, but by who and to what?

I shared this dream with a lovely friend (who doesn’t identify as a psychic or a medium but has no trouble talking to Erik.)  She turned to Erik and asked him to clarify.

“He says it’s not in your dictionary.  I’ll meditate later and see if I can get more.”

She emailed me the next morning:

“Last night he explained that he’s in a training program for Ascended Masters – that’s why you saw him with John… he’s trying to figure out how to get that sort of program “Approved” on his side – much like an independent studies program at a university here on earth.”

Well, I had a pretty strong reaction; nothing curdles my yoghurt more than the term “ascended master”.  I responded quickly and rashly:

“I call bullshit on the *ascended master* thing – that there is a place or rank where some people go that leaves others behind?  Bullshit. 

And pardon my crassness, but who the fuck “approves” these things anyway?  That’s another thing I don’t buy – that there is an approval process or a form of government.  This does not make sense to me right now.  Not with the words we’re using.  I need different words.  I can’t subscribe to a vernacular that makes others feel separate.”

Yeah, I was kinda pissed, (and we know anger is really a fear reaction!)   As I signed off the last email, I found myself tearing up!  This idea of “masters” holding the power to “approve programs” in the afterlife is a distressing concept to me, and I think it is to others, as well.  So that’s what we’re talking about this week!

Erik:

Okay, so it’s like this.  You can pick any words you want to use, and if you come across something that bugs you, you just take a look at why it’s bugging you.  In your case, you have this problem with authority (huge approving grin) which is an improvement, by the way (in comparison to my previous fears of authority).

So fuck the whole “ascended master” thing, if it turns you off.  Just think of me as a cool Luke Skywalker! 

Isn’t Luke Skywalker kind of cool by himself?

(Shows me Luke spent a lot of time whining in the first movie – yeah he was a whiner, you’re right Erik.) And Luke, right, HE had a problem with authority too – dude didn’t finish his Jedi training with Yoda, left early, and nearly fucked over the entire universe as a result.

Pause while Erik & I have a minor debate about the plot of the movie.  To my horror, it becomes clear that Star Wars is actually a dated cultural reference, and it’s not nearly as cool to Erik’s generation as it was to mine or my parents’.  I think that’s because you guys saw the Star Wars remakes, and the prequels-

Okay, yeah, we’re not here to talk about Star Wars – the point is, you can choose whatever language you need.

You can talk about archetypes, enlightenment, ascended masters, wtf-ever, it doesn’t matter what words you choose because they’re HUMAN words, and we just don’t use that language (in heaven).  It’s all about translating these brain-downloads of understanding / expansion and those people are trying to use human words to share the feeling with other people who are seeking it out.  But what do you tell people about meditation?

I tell them that they need to find something that’ll work for them, whether it’s walking in nature, dancing, exercising before they sit down to be still, focusing on a tactile sensation rather than using visualization techniques – just keep looking until you find something that works.

Well it’s the same thing with language.  You get all puckered up when you think about the “ascended master” thing, but you’re fine when you think about the exact same concept using the words “jedi knight”!

Well, I guess I’d trust a jedi knight, more than an ascended master.  The very definition of “ascended master” is someone who is high up/above, who has “mastered” something.  There’s this sense of separation and superiority, which I do not buy.  I’ve heard Jesus referred to as an ascended master, but I don’t think Jesus ever referred to himself as *anyone’s* master.  If that were true, does that mean he’s just done with his own expansion?  His only gig now is to help the rest of us?

One of Erik’s friends on the other side gives me this visual:  there are cycles of completion.  Think of a fractal – one section of the fractal, when magnified, reveals many repetitions of the same pattern.  The same thing is shown when you “zoom out” to see a larger picture.  When a cycle of expansion is completed,  you have perfected the pattern in one section, this particular block of the snowflake.  There is expansion going on in the next level of the fractal, but that is not visible nor relevant to those of us working in this dimension.  Thank you for this, it’s very helpful. 

Erik, who the eff is supervising you?  I heard reference to someone telling you to cut out the haunting pranks and start doing some good.  That thought irritated me to no end.

Yeah, well, it’s not like (how you’re thinking about it, a teacher informing a student he needs to cut it out or he’ll get detention.)  It’s like this:  (shows me a teacher / guide / friend simply showing him the possible expansion and positive outcomes if he applied his energy in this other way – and it’s so amazing and huge how could you not do it?)

I just said it like, I got the smack-down, because (it’s comforting to others) to (feel like he has some guidance, limits, supervision which is also a form of love.)

Yeah, I get that.

So you don’t need to take that personally, if the thought of me getting’ a talking to creeps you out about the afterlife, because *you* will not get any sort of treatment that’ll make you feel like how you’re feeling right now.  I just got it because I need/like it.  It works for me, it doesn’t work for you.  That’s just fine, girl!  You will be alright!

I can’t believe you’re reassuring me about the afterlife, dude.  That’s my job!

It’s so funny that I still have these little anxieties, eh?  I *know* intellectually that what you create on the other side is born from your own consciousness, what you need, what you expect.  Yet here I am, getting tripped up by this concept of rank, or someone being “in charge”.

No one’s in charge of you but you, and you know they (his teachers/guides/friends) couldn’t make me do a single thing (if he wasn’t inclined to do it, out of his own motivation for expansion.)

Thank you, Erik.  This has been a huge relief.

Love you, babe!  Love you too, E.

And I’m grateful and delighted that Erik didn’t give up his prankster ways.

Kate Sitka is a spirit medium and animal communicator.  To find out more, please visit her professional website tofinopsychic.wordpress.com and personal blog psychicintraining.wordpress.com

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Elisa Medhus


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  • Ahmed

    Interesting coincidence (synchronicity?), I’ve been asking Erik to lay the pranks on me for a while and yesterday I lost an item, searched everywhere for it, then it suddenly appeared in a place I’m sure I searched in. I didn’t think it was Erik until now, could you ask him if it was indeed him, and what the item was for confirmation?

    • You can ask him on one of the small group conference calls if you want. I used to ask Erik questions for people, but since I pay for all the sessions myself, it got pretty expensive! Phew!

    • Ahmed – you’re the same fellow who emailed me about the locked cabinet, right? I know you’re super- interested in very specific proof, so you may enjoy reading John Edward’s Book Crossing Over. It’s an autobiography where he shares the three signs he and his mother agreed she would get to him after she died. He didn’t tell anyone about it. It took NINE YEARS for him to get all three signs, but he understood why it took so long.

      John tells his clients to check their expectations at the door, because there’s always a reason and appropriate timing behind which messages get through, and which ones are delayed.

      • Ahmed

        Yes, that’s me. Thank you for your response, I really appreciate it. Sometimes it feels like the searching is a lesson, but sometimes the doubt can be agonizing.

  • Liz

    Erik the teaser!!

  • Jen

    Does Erik do reiki or is he learning to do reiki or something like it since his promotion? Patrick, Elisa? If it is in a blog post, I can try to hunt it down. Just for confirmation purposes so I don’t feel like losing my mind.

    No Erik pranks here, since half my stuff is perpetually lost in my closet anyway. And any smells could easily be attributed to my significant other.

    • HAHA!!! I don’t know if he does any healing. I doubt it. I think there are other entities that jut do that.

      • Jen

        Oh okay, just wondering! 😛

      • cristina

        if Erik gets the Ascended Master diploma, I bet the “healing” course is included 😛

    • Patrick De Haan

      You mean, no Erik pranks YET.
      Your SigOth just got put in the bull’s eye.
      Just wait. (insert blood curdling, sinister cackle)

      • Jen

        You know what the best prank would be? If Erik helped me clean my closet. That place is a nightmare!

        Bring it on, Erik! Maybe he can prank my man into cleaning the closet! Mwhahahaha!

      • Mine first! Actually, his closet still looks like it was hit by an F-5 tornado, so maybe he should start with that.

  • cockjuicejesus

    Really bad article title

    • Terrible username! LOL!

      • Are you talking about the “Can we ask him to breakfast” or “Are you down for sausages?”

      • Jane5

        Seriously! LOL! (But maybe she meant to write “baiters” which would’ve been more clear.)

      • cockjuicejesus

        Masturbation is a perfect spiritual act which is extremely misunderstood. Its an easy way to clean one’s consciousness and rid ego and find everlasting happiness within oneself.

      • Interesting. Buddha talks about sex in the YouTube, so… Jamie gets SO embarrassed when she has to translate that stuff.

      • I totally agree.

      • Jane5

        Then why do you think the article title is “bad?”

      • Actually guys, this was Erik’s preferred title, and I was like “Dude, I am not sending your mother an article with the word “mastrubator”” so I stuck it in the end of the entry as a suggested alternate title. Elisa recognized it for all of Erik’s uncensored glory and used it as Erik intended!

        Yeah, it is *bad*

      • Jane5

        Yeah i didn’t think it was yours 🙂 I just thought Erik was making a pun. My bad!

      • cockjuicejesus

        So you agree with me

      • Well, I don’t know if you’re being serious or not. For me, words don’t mean anything. It’s the energy or intent behind them that matters. That’s why when Erik drops an F-bomb it has a completely different energy than when someone points a finger at you and says, “Fuck you”.

      • cockjuicejesus

        Both are same energy. There is no difference. Its not at all completely different. Thats why in television and other media. F-bombs and Fuck you! are bleeped out.

      • I think Elisa would know more than you about the use of certain words and the meaning behind them! There is positive energy from using words like “Master-baitor” and Erik using f-bombs when kiddin around; that is why Erik uses them. And then negative energy comes from phrases like “piss-off” or “fuck-off”.
        This guy has such a damn double-standard (or commonly known as an Oxymoron!) because he has a problem with the title of this archive “Master-baitor,” but it’s alright that he has his username as “COCKJUICEJESUS” which I would think is way worse & offensive to some than the scientific term masturbate!
        ELISA, I don’t want these negative posts to change hohhoghhhw you post on these archives. You are a wonderful, beautiful

      • Sorry, this thing was fucking up somehow. But don’t ever change the way you type on these archives because of others that don’t understand the Truth yet or are just blind to IT.
        You are such a beautiful, wonderful, and selfless person. Because of you, you saved my life! And you have also opened my mind and changed my life…my life will NEVER be the same!
        I love you Elisa! And also Erik of course.

      • I love you too.

      • II wish disqus had “like” or comment rating buttons 🙂

  • Bagga

    When I was recently in the hospital (and bored!) I found myself talking out loud to Erik… I noticed the paper towel holder in my bathroom and the second one by the small handwashing sink would start sending out paper (the kind with the battery, that sends paper when you wave in front of the sensor). Several nights, with the door completely shut and no light in the bathroom, no way for it to be doing that, it would start sending paper. I just smiled, laughed and said, “Hi, Erik! Love you too!” After one really, really rough night, and an emergency with me, I got up the next morning and found what seemed to be a mile of paper on the floor in the bathroom, even though no one had been in there all night. Made me feel not alone and watched over, as if he was saying, “I’m here, I’m here, hang in there!” That boy sure gets around, doesn’t he?

    • What a great story! He can be an obnoxious little rascal but when we really need him he’s there for us.

  • Jane5

    Thank you!! I too have had huge problems with the idea of “ascended masters” and some of the language that gets used, especially if it seems hierarchical or exclusive or harsh/condemning in tone. I found it really does help to realize Erik is using language as a tool to help the entire blog community so he uses the phrases that reach/relate to the most people and he is not presenting it as any kind of “The Bible of Erik is literal!! No eating shellfish or go to hell!!” kind of thing. 🙂

  • Nehaa

    Wow Elisa, you must be so proud of him…for having been “promoted”…:)
    Its amazing..!
    I heard promotion/ progression is slower in spirit realm and faster in human realm…is that true?

    • I guess “faster” or “slower” depends on how you see time.

      • Nehaa

        hmmm.. thanks Kate…i loved your blog and really appreciate your presence here. Thanks to Erik and Elisa for making you a part of this. 🙂

        Regarding my question, i had read that since there is so much evil or anger etc kind of emotions here, that if we stay on the good we progress faster while in that realm such things don’t exist hence the opportunity for growth are slower…please correct me here.

  • Great post!

  • It just amazes me how this website and Kate’s blog “found” me, both totally by accident while I was searching for completely ordinary everyday things. And it also amazes me how my life follows along with the topics Erik talks about on here. I started reading up on Reiki about three weeks ago and became totally engrossed in it. It just confirms that I’m on the right path, I guess. Love it!

  • I disagree. One is said with negative emotion (anger_ behind it. The other is not. A word is not just a string of letters. I

  • Would you mind changing your username? It’s kind of gross.

    • JesusIsNeverGross

      Why did my username suddenly become gross ? This article deserved it as though Jesus was an ascended master-bater (Ok I see you changed the article title like its not funny anymore. I can agree with that)

      • I hear ya, Mike

      • Words are words. The intention/energy behind them is the only thing that matters. I bet Jesus had a great sense of humor. He’s probably laughing right now. I changed the title because it made more sense phonetically–did this at the suggestion of one of the readers.

  • JesusIsNeverGross

    My opinion, I dont actually think the masturbater title is bad, if the article content provided good knowledge about the specific subject with refined language.

    I believe sexual acts are not to be made fun of and have to be seen in more pure or spiritual light, instead of any perversion associated with it, to bring truth and mystery out of it and to be of any good help. All sexual acts if done with purity, love and for spiritual gain will help immensely for enlightenment. Once can actually ascend by masturbation.

  • ONE COMMENT TO ANSWER THEM ALL 🙂

    @Ahmed “Yes, that’s me. Thank you for your response, I really appreciate it. Sometimes it feels like the searching is a lesson, but sometimes the doubt can be agonizing
    -I know it can be difficult to “just relax” about this kind of stuff, but it really does work better and confirmations come quicker if you can just trust that they *will* come in probably an unexpected way, when the timing is right. I think it’s important to interject spiritual journeys with a big sense of humour.
    @ Elisa “He can be an obnoxious little rascal but when we really need him he’s there for us.

    – Totally – but I’m beginning to see how the teasing actually gets you to open up. When I’m not taking things painfully seriously all the time, everything opens up and moves faster. One could say he’s “mooning for spiritual purposes”
    @ Nehaa “ i had read that since there is so much evil or anger etc kind of emotions here, that if we stay on the good we progress faster while in that realm such things don’t exist hence the opportunity for growth are slower…please correct me here.
    – Well I think it’s less about right/wrong and more about perspective or point of view. A lovely CE reader who also reads my blog gifted me with Robert Schwartz’ books including “Your Soul’s Gift”, which is a great way to learn different perspectives of “evil” in the world. Personally, I’m moving away from this idea that there is a division between dark & light, good and evil. I know that after people die, their consciousness can sometimes hold on to judgments and anger in the afterlife.
    – Sylvia Browne was the first psychic I heard talking about how earth is “hell” and we come here to accelerate our souls’ spiritual expansion. I don’t agree that earth is “hell” or the “insane asylum of the universe” which is another thing she calls it. I don’t particularly agree with that idea, but for other people it’s useful. So it’s really not my place to “correct you” right? It’s all about what resonates with you, personally.
    – (by the way I love Sylvia, and am very grateful for the pathways in our culture that she paved. I learned so much from her, I just don’t agree with *everything* she says.)

    @ Becky Darby – Thank you, I really appreciate your comments 🙂

  • cristina

    I’ve been thinking a lot about Ascended Masters today… because of some channeled messages (videos) where they speak about (probably) star seeds becoming ascended masters ?— they seem to be several appearing soon? Not just one like before… anyway… I CAN’T confirm anything….

  • Johan

    Dreams can do everything, Spirit can do
    everything, Realize the matrix source, realize the inescapable design of
    nature, and the consequences of it’s banishment, and purpose with
    nature for it’s design, all are responsible for what they do, but there
    has been prejudice and innocent punishment, God, would not have created,
    and it’s time you can see it for real? The truth is, if you told a
    preacher to slow down in tongues, it could get intense, because that is
    not funny? The matrix must have a source, so only by the power of a
    lucky reality it exists. Time to know what God is really? all on the way
    of reality, and it shall take it from here. What about governmental
    donations from the willing, or charities where old goods can be brought,
    or food, etc, or even receptivity to world innovations from public?
    Reality? Can’t available rehabilitation drugs and personal
    responsibility with nature’s intent not be accepted, and those with
    cravings not get genetically altered or rehabilitative drugs if they
    feel like quitting problematic addictions personally, and planting not
    spare all of us?! Let God, and the real one show you in it’s own way, if
    God can. Thank you. Also, there is no sexual abstinence from
    masturbation, or austerity, and the higher self would verify that there
    is a problem with such views, heartache, and with all negative views,
    time to set the true higher self spirit free.

    • Johan, you’re so right. God, we have a long way to go. But maybe we have to decline and break down before we ascend to new heights like a Phoenix rising from the ashes.

  • Doris J. Gibson

    In one of Dr. Weiss and Raymond Moody’s books that I read many years ago I remember hearing something related to this. That concept doesn’t offend me of Ascending Master’s .

Channeling Erik®