The next question is from a bereaved mother very much like me. In fact, her son, Tyler, died only 9 days before Erik’s death and both were just 20 years old at the time of their passing. Here is the mother’s submission to Erik:
“Erik, my son died 5 months ago. Do you meet strangers where you are? Can you find out if he is there?
“Your re-connection with your mom (I’ve read her entire web site) has been one of the most comforting experiences I’ve had since he left. I am relieved to hear you are doing so much better now. I appreciate the love that you and your mother have is transforming into eternity. I also envy and am energized to hear of this and it explains things that I have experienced shortly after his death.
“Peace and love to you and your mother. I can identify 99.9 percent.
“All that is left is love, Jean”
And now, Erik’s response:
Erik says, “Yes he’s here, but he’s not spending time with me. He’s sending time with his dad. He says “Dad needs him.” He thinks his mom is doing much better than his dad because Mom is much stronger than Dad, smarter than Dad, more enlightened than Dad, more mature than Dad. He’s spiending time with his dad trying to help him. Dad is inconsolable and feels very very very guilty for being an asshole to him. He says, ‘tell Mom, she’s understand.’
‘Okay,’ I reply.
“He also says it was his destiny to die when and how he did. Oh, and he wants Mom to know this—really really important. He felt no pain in the crash. None at all. Nothing.”
‘So he’s glad to be there?’ I ask.
“He’s laughing and telling me he’s glad the crash is over! He also says, ‘Dad sure doesn’t listen!’ He says he could hang out with me but I have work with you and he has work with his dad, and it’s more important to do our work than to socialize right now. We know we’ll enjoy ourselves when our families get here.”
‘Erik, why was it his destiny to die in the accident?’ I ask.
“Just a minute, Mom. He wants his mom to be sure to get regular mammograms because she’s real fibroid in the breasts, and she’s going to have some precancerous growths that will have to be removed with a lumpectomy. It’s very important that she get her mammogram.”
‘Okay.’
Erik goes on with an emphatic tone, “Really important. Tyler says self examinations won’t pick it up, because the growths are in the inner breast where she’s not going to feel them. Very important. Oh, and Tyler wants her to get regular colonoscopies because she will tend to get polyps in the colon eventually.”
“Now what was your question again, Elisa?” Kim asks.
‘Why was it his destiny to…’
“Oh, yeah, right. Let’s ask Erik,” Kim interjects.
Erik responses with, “He says it was for him and everyone else in his life. For Tyler, it was for him to learn what it’s like to lose everything he was in the process of creating, all the things he would look forward to in his future. The issue of loss. The issue of loss. Tyler says this was definitely, definitely not a suicide.”
‘Oh yeah, of course. I wouldn’t have thought it was!’ I exclaim, slightly puzzled that this was even an issue.
“It was for the whole family, his friends, the community, for everyone to learn about the issue of loss,” Erik adds.
‘Does he visit her?’ I ask.
“Oh! All the time! All the time! But he says his dad needs him more. He says he and his mom are soulmates, platonic soulmates. So it’s not that he loves Dad more. He was always closer to Mom, but Dad needs him more. He says Dad is really screwed up!”
‘Oh, boy,’ I say. I wonder if the family is even aware. I know hoe easy it is for fathers to become the invisible mourners. Grieving in silence as society often demands, men sometimes appear to be the pinnacle of strength to those around them while inside, they weep in despair.
After I email Jean a paraphrased version of the session with Kim and Erik, she replies shortly afterwards:
“Elisa -This is awesome. It took my breath away when I read it. Is it OK if I call you sometime this weekend? My week is packed and I am so exhausted when I get home – I would really like to be at my best when we talk or next week is OK with me if that’s better for you. I need a little time to think, I’m in a little bit of shock. I do have fibrous breast. I never told Ty that. I have been having some pain in the last few weeks but I thought it was just too much caffeine. I haven’t had a mammogram in probably 3 years. I’m scared.
“Sounds like Tyler is working hard on helping his Dad. His dad is very stubborn, very stoic. I know that Tyler will think of something to help. He was so intelligent and resourceful! He’ll come up with something- I just know it! I will try to help out if he needs it.
“I read your latest entry in Channeling Erik, it is so beautiful. Your sessions are getting to a deeper level. I think his suggestion about the book and the writings on the website is very, very true. It will continue to reach out to people just like me and it has helped me much like therapy. I get a similar sense of accomplishment when I talk or correspond with you and Erik. I thank you so much in asking Erik my question. It sounds like our boys are very busy. They really are angels!
