Best of Erik: A Break From Being Human

This repost is about respite. A break from the grief of losing someone we love. A break from being mired in daily struggle. A break from being human. This is the first time Erik spoke to me without the need of a question prompt. He spoke with solemn passion. How timely.

Erik: You know, Mom, before you ask me a question, I want to talk to you about people who want to take their own life. In some cases, the stress, the grief, whatever builds up, it’s like a volcano. Only so much can build before it has to release. The lesson in each case is that there is perfection in imperfection.

Me: Mm hm.

(Long pause)

Jamie: He’s pausing. Erik, I can see that.

Me: What? Is he picking his nose?

Jamie (sounding touched): No. His eyes are tearing up.

Me: Oh, Sweetie. It’s okay.

Jamie: He’s just kind of readjusting his gestures and how he’s sitting so that he’s really not squared off with me; we’re not looking at each other face to face.


Jamie (to Erik): But, you know, I can see that you’re adjusting. I can see. I can see.

Erik: Well, it’s hard …


Jamie (to Erik, in a warm, motherly tone): Take a deep breath. You don’t always have to be the fast talker.

Me: Yeah, Sweetie. Take your time.

Jamie (with a soft chuckle): I don’t mind a pause.

Erik: It just throws me right back into my human state of mind—right back into my body—and I haven’t shaken hands with those demons in a long time.

Me: Yeah, I know.

Erik: And I’m happy not to shake hands with them anymore, but when you’re human, you think you have the power to override them—the internal thoughts, those crazy horses in your head that just run with ideas and thoughts that actually hold no truth. But because the thoughts are so heavy, they feel incredibly real, and we start to validate them as real and they’re not. It’s within this slice of anxiety, madness, grief, this really imbalanced state of mind and heart—that’s the imperfection that makes us perfect.

Me: Not sure if I understand, but…

Erik: In so many people who want to take their life, it’s just about getting out of the body, not an act or a willingness to die. It might be nice, ya know? First hand, I kinda know that experience.

Me (solemnly): Yeah.

Erik: A lot of times those people might be worried that they couldn’t do everything they wanted or needed to do, desired to. But then right before, they get this peace and calm, knowing that everything is going to be all right. All of a sudden, they know it’s all going to be okay. Really at that moment, they already left the body.

Me: Oh!

Erik: A lot of people I see that are headed toward the answers, committing suicide, attempting suicide, ending their life, they just need out of their body just for a certain moment. A lot of times they do that before they get a chance to follow through, and then they back down.

Me: They just need a rest. A rest from being human.

Erik: Yeah. And when people struggle to that point, like I said, many times it’s about the perfection of imperfection.

Me: What do you mean by that? I just don’t understand.


Erik: Our perfectness is composed of a huge percentage of things that just aren’t’ right.

Jamie (giggling): He kind of puts that in air quotes.

Erik: I know there’s no right or wrong—there just “is”, but as humans, the brain has a hell of a hard time relaxing in that state of mind. It’s almost like we enjoy struggle more than we enjoy peace. And all of humanity has to learn this lesson for us to achieve it—to make it a natural state of being. Peace. That’s what our generations to come might experience, but for now, we’re still in a natural state of being in struggle. Our natural state of being as a human is based on being in a constant struggle. Even when you’re calm, you’re thinking, “How long is this going to last?” “When I get out of this, then I have to face that shit, and then I have to manage that crap over there.” You know, it’s still all fucked up, but you’re going to have these pockets of peace. We’re getting through all of this as humanity. Everyone has to learn to turn the dial on the emotional, mental, spiritual level from chaos and struggle to peace and calm. Until we do that, you know, we’re all attached to each other—we’re all antennas. And we can get those incredibly enlightened people, loving people, people who are aware, and their antenna inside their body just starts to pick up all the struggle and the chaos. And they don’t want it. Just like you, Mom. And some of those people just want a break from being human. But this whole media, vulnerability, kind of openness that you and I have gone through—it was done in a way to save other people but not you. And I know you’ll come soon enough and see how you can save yourself. And how you do that will not stop the openness, the storytelling, because we—

Jamie (to Erik): Who’s we? (To me) You and him.

Me: Okay.

Erik: We cannot even count how many people we’ve touched nor how many people that we have taught. So, now that they’re more knowledgeable and can heal through their grief and not leave this world as it’s changing—that absolutely is extremely valuable and extremely important, but never, ever more important than you. I hope knowing that helps.

Me: Aw. I love you, Erik.

Erik: I love you more.

Taking a Break from Being Human - Channeling Erik

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Elisa Medhus

  • Iola Regnier Gomez

    I cried when I first read this…and again just now. Love to you and Erik.xoxo

  • Daniel Lucas

    I don’t have the words to tell you what reading this did for me, Elisa. I have been very depressed for many years, never finding anyone who could quite understand what it’s like to go through the motions, the endless waves dragging you under, struggling to get your head above water for just a second while you’re entire body is heavy and weak. But Erik summed it up perfectly! For me, it’s not about dying, and never living again. It’s about getting out of body, getting out of the struggle that this life has been, and just taking a break for a little while now and then. If we could just do that, if we could see we’re more than our bodies, our mental sturggles, I think we’d all be okay. Most of us anyways.

    Suicide has been something that’s been in my family, and on my mind since I was young, and reading posts like this make it a little easier to deal with. More understandable. Thank you so much Elisa for chosing this post today, and Erik for coming through. You guys really do keep me afloat.

  • Widdershins3

    I love this. Just spent yesterday upset all day over a rude thing that was done to me. I knew how utterly wasteful of energy that was and remembered times in the past when similar acts had pushed me over the edge of The Pit of depression, but shaking the hurt feelings/outrage took a huge amount of effort and time. Erik’s “pockets of peace” and “healing through grief” remarks remind me that life doesn’t have to be perfect to be worthwhile.

  • Cyndi

    He’s an absolute sweetheart with a direct line to his Mother’s heart…He is right…There are so many who prefer struggle over peace, but that is their choice.
    I have shared quite a lot this information with others and have been accepted by some, called a fool by many. None of that matters to me because I have found a sense of peace with you all. I hope you have too….Love you:)

    • Maggie Hunter-Brown

      I am with you Cyndi! I love that this community has the courage to speak to the heart of matters … there is not enough of this in our ever-changing worlds and cultures!

    • Richard Lee Van Der Voort

      Probably a PROJECTION of the mother’s heart. Not an “Erick-entity” at all.

  • Jeanette DiPasquale

    thank you for sharing this Elisa. It can be tough and it can be very, very lonely. Can’t give up. Peace!

  • Shannon Hipson

    When Erik says ” internal thoughts, those crazy horses in your head that just run with ideas and thoughts that actually hold no truth. But because the thoughts are so heavy, they feel incredibly real, and we start to validate them as real and they’re not.” I really can identify. Now I talk to myself to calm my state of being. I repeat the phase simply and happy; which is my life’s purpose according to Erik in a reading I had with Jamie. I tell myself the opposite of my crazy thoughts. I am so happy to have these posts to read everyday and to become more enlightened instead of the dark places and the negativity my anxiety was causing me. Thank you Erik for all your messages. I will continue to learn and be positive to be a good example for others and keep my demons at bay.

  • Maggie Hunter-Brown

    What I love about Erik is his, “tell it like it is”, approach.
    We cut off our noses before we even begin to ask things like Erik’s topic today, i.e. why do we prefer struggle and conflict over peace; why do we think we have to be perfect, both to ourselves, and to others who gaze upon us, when we are here… in, of all places, Earth School… here to learn, to feel, to experience, and to grow our consciousness.
    I am also a visual learner, so when Jamie described Erik’s changed composure, for me it helped to emphasize the need to shift in the way I think (or don’t think) about things .. to soften my approach to uncomfortable topics, not to “square off” with society and culture all the time, and maybe… just maybe… dish out a lot more hugs to people, who deserve!
    I think CE is a great community that absorbs a different slant and a different take on things. We have the courage to approach these topics, outside of safe places, such as CE, and weather some of those negative storms. Maybe we need to also ask, why do we let “others” set us up to fail… they certainly aren’t around to pick up our pieces.. I embrace Erik’s talk today, and all of you for your thoughts and feelings about it too.. <3

    • Cyndi

      Very well stated Maggie. I believe it is a natural response to resist that which challenges your belief system…This kind of thing scares the hell out of a lot of people, which I completely understand.
      I never try to force my beliefs on anyone. So when I am challenged by the fear mongers that try to set you up for failure and make you look like a fool, I just try to gently embrace their decision to remain limited:)

  • Siret

    Erik is getting wiser every minute, this was deeply touching. So true when he said we enjoy struggle more than peace. That’s because all our programming, we are use to judge every minute, trying to know if we’re doing right or wrong, never fully embracing ourselves. Thanks Erik & Elisa for trying so hard to guiding us to our own peace. I feel blessed again, like i used to feel when i was 3 years old, since the day i found this blog (2 weeks ago). I love you guys, wish you peace beyond all understanding!

  • Joseph F Towns III

    Ditto, yes again, when Erik says, ” internal thoughts, those crazy horses in your head that just run with ideas and thoughts that actually hold no truth. But because the thoughts are so heavy, they feel incredibly real, and we start to validate them as real and they are not” — I can remember Eckhart Tolle saying something to this effect, but I didn’t actually get it until I heard it from Erik! And then, to my total amazement, it became crystal clear! Thank you for being you, Elisa, Jamie, and Erik. What else can one — not say or think — but what else can one emote and feel! I’ve never felt more connected to humanity in all my born days — on planet earth, that is.

  • Shruti

    Thank you Erik and Elisa. God bless the two beautiful souls. Love Shruti

  • Michelle Buchheit-Schill

    I so needed to read these words! I have made suicide attempts in the past and my son recently died by suicide. I am currently reading your book and it has helped me tremendously. I have been so worried about son for a long time, even after he passed over. I feel like I do not know where he is, if exists at all, and, most importantly, if he is OK. I wish I could communicate with my son like you do yours.

    • Please, please, please keep reading the archives, especially the last one about biophotons and “the science of survival.” Search the blog for biophotons to find that.

      • Michelle Buchheit-Schill

        Thanks! I will do that. You and Erik have been a huge comfort.

  • Teri Pectol

    I wish I could find the words that would help to heal my sons heart and help me understand what my son was going through before he took his life. I knew he felt like he was on a treadmill and maybe had racing horses in his head. I see now how his feelings were real. I didn’t think he felt….I thought he was too young. I wish I could talk to him like you do Erik. I would listen and believe him now.

    • You can. Just have that conversation and listen for his response. Just keep having faith that it’s him. Sometimes it’ll be in your voice, but it comes out of nowhere. I hear it behind my right ear.

      • Teri Pectol

        Thank you Elisa- your response means so much. I will listen.

      • You’re most welcome. 🙂

  • Sue

    This is a powerful post Elisa. And it is for you more than anyone else. I love that Erik said to you that things are “never, ever more important than you”. <3 How beautiful, and how true. You have helped hundreds of people, and these posts will continue to help people in the future.

    Thank you all for sharing so much with us and helping us become better humans.

  • EMMA

    “Everything is going to be alright. Thank you so much.” was the last text message he sent me moments before he took his life in the middle of the night, two years ago this month. I have played those words in my head over and over. Afterwards I came to accept that he just couldn’t do it anymore. It wasn’t about anything or anyone else, he had reached his limit and made his decision. I have to believe his spirit had left as he wrote the message and had already gone when the moment happened. I’ve been able to reach him on the other side and he’s ok, he’s with me, hear’s me when I talk to him, shows me things that prove he is still in my life. It’s unbelievably comforting, but certainly not the same as being in the physical. One medium explained with suicide that it’s sometimes like they were just overbooked on this trip to earth – they scheduled too many lessons and just couldn’t manage it all. Needing a break from being human makes perfect sense when you think of it this way. Reading this post, seeing those same words here…. oh my, I just broke down. Bless you, bless you for sharing like this. Despite the tears, it really helps so very much. I can only imagine how many people you have helped, and brought understanding and peace to. Thank you. Peace to you in your loss. Bless you, bless you.

  • Cheri

    Elisa, is Erik maybe picking up on something that you’ve been seriously thinking about lately? I don’t know why but I get the sense that he knows that you’ve been thinking about suicide for yourself lately. I know that you have really had a rough time these last few months and God knows we’ve all thought about this when things get really tough but it’s seriously not the answer. You, of all people, know what we go through as survivors of loved ones who choose this act to end their lives. Please stay strong. You are an incredible inspiration to everyone who has EVER had a loved die by suicide. It’s absolutely a horrible feeling as you well know. My son Eric hung himself this past December and I grieve him everyday. The guilt is horrifying.

  • I haven’t considered suicide at all for several months. Maybe I was contemplating it at the time of this post but the post was from long ago. I think many mothers who lose a child have suicide cross their minds.

  • lis

    “maybe next life, baby.” was
    the last line of his last email. His sister used the timestamp to
    estimate his time of death with the coroner August 27, 2014 after
    1:15 am. I woke up at about 4:30 am. I could have fixed so much, but
    maybe not everything. He is speaking to me. i have always talked
    across the dimensions. He called it and other things my quirk. my
    heart is broken and yet the circumstances are such that i had so much
    to do with his despair, that mine even in his clarity of connection,
    at this moment is almost more than i can stand. …
    i went to the book store looking for something very specific
    pertaining to suicide. i had a lot of life after death experience,
    but i had been told that suicides had so much cocooning to do and i
    somehow believed it might be like that dream movie from Robin
    Williams. i have always talked to his highest self about all the
    things that we did to each other and our fears and our intentions.
    so, from almost the begining in between railing and screaming, i tried
    to offer mine as part of his therapy process. my love just my love in
    its purest form as gauze around his pain and the guilt i thought he
    might be feeling and the guilt i felt. his family is very pragmatic and aethiest
    and while they do not know me, they know of me, exactly what I am not
    sure. He returned to his soul sometime after that last email on the 27
    th early morning and the service was the 28th at 4 oclock in a city
    about 100 miles away from me. i did not get there. there was nothing
    else, and he was cremated. he has been everywhere for me and i know
    it is him. I have tested and he has come through without fail even telling me we had things to do, and shit i understood perfectly, but i still had the issue with all i had been told and felt about suicide. so
    yesterday at the book store, i went to the grief section trying to
    find something about crossing over specific to suicide,I thought I knew
    exactly what I wanted, needed. I tried, and i asked him for
    help, and nothing worked, i didn’t think the grief i felt
    wasn’t what i needed explained or worked through I was hanging on to
    my guilt so tightly, i may have thought it was all i had left of us.
    i needed to make sure he was ok.What he needed , or
    didn’t need me to do and about my guilt and his reasons and a myriad
    of things, that he had kinda assured me of already, but i needed to
    hear it outside of my head. even though i can assure others, i was a
    mess, so again. i am looking for this damn book and he is
    telling me to go to the library, and i am arguing with him in the
    aisles that I want to keep it when i find it. then he starts showing
    me philosophers he wants me to read and making me kinda laugh
    not the first time since my world had changed, but then i gave up and
    I went over to my normal section. looked at some books i had already
    read about crossing over. and just sat on the floor, raw and weary, sinking
    into him. on the bottom shelf was a a book about Lincoln & a part
    of the Civil War. i took a deep breath and pulled it out, to confirm
    that it was in deed a book about Lincoln, apparently a new
    perspective on him, at that, and really it was in my NEW AGE quirky section? Lincoln, really, His favorite Attorney ever, and mentor.He had a bust
    of him in bronze in his office . i had to ask… “do I really have
    to read this?” snark, his trademark & a laughing
    “no.” And then I saw your book in the empty space
    where Lincoln had been. I know this was long and convoluted,
    but you needed to know, as I think Erik already does. i have read
    every spare moment, and i am so grateful. I got home from the book store, and my son used
    a quote in a conversation and said Lincoln said that, as if I needed
    more confirmation. i am still weak with sadness, week with my own
    lost options and my own inability to save us both and change our
    worlds here. Weak with the realization that know one else important
    to him knows how much i loved him, but with a glimmer of hope that I
    can help him now make up for and change somethings. Frightened to
    death that I won’t be up to the challenge, Frightened of the
    recriminations of the others that loved him, frightened of my self
    and never being able to live out loud.BUT, now i can hear him without
    doubting my head. and he is assuring me that we are still able to
    change the universe in so many ways. i know they are together, and I
    thank you and them. Being the one here kinda sucks by the way, and you and Erik have given me permission to think and say that out loud
    I am grateful for my life and all that is in it, but wish i was
    sitting in his lap right now on the other side, more than anything. i wish he hadn’t
    taken our someday away, but I am glad that i have next life.(Thank you for having faith, now. k. …
    love you baby, E)

    • lis

      I kept us from someday, just me. Thank you so much again for your book, 2/3 or more complete. i just have to breathe and listen i know, but it is so f…ing hard.

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