Best of Erik: Erik’s Death, Part One

This part of the channeling transcript was not at all easy for me. The graphic memories, the heartache, the sense of loss, it all flooded back to me like a tsunami of dread and despair. For that reason, I’ve transcribed just a portion of Erik’s description of his death. The heart can only endure so much pain.

I do hope, however, that you can find some comfort in his words, particularly when you think of your own departed loved ones, because there are elements of peace, beauty and joy in death.

Me: What did you notice after your death that was different for you, Erik? I know it’s different for each person, but as a general rule, what do most souls notice right away?

Erik: Their bodies.

Me: Yeah. You see your body? That’s the first thing you notice?

Erik: No. The body… the way it feels. It’s crazy, Mom, because you don’t have any pain, but sometimes that doesn’t register until like days or weeks later, as Earth time goes. There’s no hunger or thirst. You’re never too cold or too hot. And some notice it right away, but for others, it’s like a few days after they go, “Hey, I don’t have any pain!”

Me: Wow.

Erik: Because some people have lived with pain for so long, they don’t realize when it’s gone.

Me: Yeah. So what else? What other sensations do you notice right away?

Erik: Expanded. You feel expanded and lighter. It’s like you’re not cramped into that tight space anymore, and you can fill any space you want. Also, one of the first things you notice is when you think of something…when you have a thought, you don’t get in a car and travel somewhere to see it or go get it. You just end up there. Like when I think of you, I’m there. When I think of Bestefar in Norway, I’m there.

Me: Wow, so thought creates reality much faster there?

Erik (laughing): Oh, yeah!

Me: Must save on those plane tickets. No frequent flyer miles for you, though, Erik.

Erik laughs.

Me: But can you create a car or motorcycle or boat and travel that way if you want to?

Erik: Yeah! Hell yeah! You can create anything. Just like humans can create houses and build their cars; we have the same capabilities here, but it’s done in a much different way. Easier and quicker.

Jamie (laughing): He’s giving me this look like, “Oh, poor you!”

Me: Us poor peons down here have to do everything the hard way, huh?

Jamie laughs.

Me: What about the body? After you leave the physical body and look down at your spirit self, do you still have a body of some sort like a “memory body?” Does your form seem solid to yourself, at least at first?

(Long pause)

Me: I mean, when you looked down on your, you know, your lifeless body, but then looked at your soul’s body, what did it look like to you?

Erik: Mom, at that time, I didn’t even know to wonder if it was solid or not. It just wasn’t even in my realm of thinking. I was just too concerned about, “What’s gonna happen now?”

Me (sadly): Yeah. Must have been scary for you, Baby.


Erik: I know this sounds weird, but I didn’t have a lot of fear, because there weren’t those smells and sounds and sights and feelings that would create fear. It was actually extremely peaceful. And you know that one second felt like five minutes.

Me: Okay. Which one second? When you pulled the trigger?

Erik: Yes.

Me: Oh, okay. Did it hurt?

Erik: I remember the sounds around me but not the pain. It’s like I heard the ricochet whizzing sound of the bullet after it went through my head.

Me: Gosh, Erik, weren’t you scared when you were slowly squeezing the trigger? I almost feel like you probably weren’t sure you were actually going to do it until it was all over, like you didn’t totally make up your mind until it was too late. What were you feeling at that moment?

Erik: That’s pretty interesting that you knew I pulled the trigger slowly.

Me: Oh, I just got that. I don’t know. I just get the feeling you had not made up your mind until it was all over. Maybe you told me about your indecisiveness before in another channeling session, but I’m pretty sure you didn’t tell me you pulled the trigger slowly. That’s just what I get. Maybe it was channeled.

Erik: That’s true, but I didn’t really think I would die from it.

Me (somberly): Yeah, well, it was a 45 caliber hollow point. Oof.

(Long, poignant pause)

Me: What else do you want to share about death and the moment right after death, you know, what the soul realizes right after death?

Erik: Well, definitely lack of pain, like I said. Ease of movement. How thought creates reality in an instant. Also these wonderful things are happening to you. There’s this full-on weakness that you have at first. For me, I relate that to—I don’t know how to maneuver this body. When I was alive, I would reach out, grab the can, open it up and drink it. I could feel thirst and take care of it. If I wanted to see my family, I could go call or come over or email. But now these patterns that I learned don’t exist anymore. They don’t work the same way.

Me: Hmm. Wow!

Erik: In the beginning, there’s this sense of helplessness. I’ve heard some spirits call it release, but you have to sorta relearn how to interact with people and stuff. Some spirits know how to do it right away. You know, entering a dream or moving something away or making something appear. But some of us just take longer before we able to do certain things.

Me: To do what, exactly? Can you give me an example of something you’ve tried to do and it was difficult?

Erik: I remember I tried to pick the gun up.

Me (sadly): Um hm.

Erik: I tried to move my face to help me.

Me; Um hm.

Erik: None of that worked. My hand just went right through everything. It penetrated, it had a sensation; it wasn’t like my hand was moving through air. I could feel density and texture. I could feel the emotion of what I was going through.

Me: Did the emotions feel different?

Erik: Yes, they did. It’s like they weren’t mine. Though I was looking at myself—I know it was me, but it didn’t feel like me at all.

Me: Help me understand this. What emotions did you—your soul—feel right after death?


Me: Besides, of course, helplessness and—

Erik: Joy. Wait. I take that back. If I have to break it down in a sequence, I’m guessing the first feeling I had was peacefulness. Being at peace.

Me: Yeah.

Erik: I recognized I was at peace and felt joy. Then, when I saw that I was separated, you know, from my physical body, I felt I wasn’t solid, that’s when I went to go help myself, try to anyway. I only had time to try to help once. And I wasn’t afraid for myself, either.

Me: Okay.

Erik: Because I felt fine!

Me: Yeah. And then, did you feel like, when I went up there and found you, did you go through that, “Oh my gosh; what have I done” feeling?

Erik: Not right away. At first I was really interested in finding out what was next. I didn’t do the “Oh my gosh; what have I done” thing until I realized that it was irreversible.

Me: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay, so walk me through the sequence: you tried to grab the gun, then you tried to help yourself once, then what?

Even as I proofread this, my stomach turns and my heart sinks to familiar depths. As I’m brought back to that tragic day, magical thinking takes over in that for a split second, I truly believe I can intervene as his finger slowly flexes around the trigger. God, if only I could create a time machine. What would I do? I’d make him do the past life regression that would have cast a light into his darkness. I would have insisted he join us for lunch. I would have wrapped him in my arms and kept him there forever no matter how hard he squirmed and protested. But alas, there is no time machine, and magical thinking is just that—illusion. Or delusion. I miss you, Erik.

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Elisa Medhus

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  • Janene

    Oh, Elisa…my heart hurts for you. I know that ‘it’s all o.k.’ but as a Mom, I still ache for you.
    I am so fascinated by all this. Please realize what comfort all this information brings each of us. I am actually looking forward to my transition, whenever it may be!

    • luvscats

      Your comment was wonderful hugs to you

  • Hyla Mendez

    My heart hurts reading this… I’m SO sorry.
    Thank you for sharing.

  • Jeanette DiPasquale

    My heart is with you Elisa as I read this. I have been studying near-death-expreiences for many years and everything that Erik is describing is what others experienced before they were brought back into their bodies. I wish there were words that I can use to help you but, sometimes words get in the way. So I send you light and a quote . Peace!

    “What is life? Thoughts and feelings arise, with or without our will, and we employ words to express them. We are born and our birth is unremembered and our infancy remembered but in fragments. We live on, and in living we lose the apprehension of life. How vain is it to think that words can penetrate the mystery of our being. Rightly used they may make evident our ignorance of ourselves, and this is much.”~Percy Bysshe Shelley

  • Angela Servidio-Jarosz

    I know what you aRe saying when you say you felt like you could intervene. Like if I go over step by step what happened, I can somehow change things That it really didn’t next time I’m going to do this or say that. I too wondered if my son thought of me. Or was he unconcious? He died from an overdose so I would imagine it took a couple of hours. Did he know he was dying?. Did he say to himself oh no whAt did I do? Did he want me? Call out to me? We were very close. id like to think he thought of me. I just pray he didn’t suffer. I don’t know what it is to overdose. I won’t look it up. I don’t want to know cause I couldn’t bear it if he suffered before the end! I do know if he wasnt left there someone could’ve saved him…maybe?? I hope he just went to sleep….

  • michele

    How I wished for that same time machine to bring me back to before I lost my son and have the chance for re-do. Nothing can come close to having them here with us …this life hurts without them.

    Love you and miss you so much my dear son Evan xoxo

  • Marla

    Thank you for sharing and feeling the pain again. I can’t imagine it and I don’t want to. I am happy you have found some peace and comfort in your life with this. Thanks for sharing.

  • Donna Sherman

    This was so profound to read…Thank you. As I read it, I could feel the scene described and Erik’s perspective in every cell….it almost felt like my own memory, or perhaps a trigger of a similar event. Very moving and, yes, joyful and beautiful and sad all at once…
    Your own take too, at the bottom, describing the yearning for a time machine – I know that feeling well too, so very well.
    In a way what you have created here on this site and in your book (which I loved) serves as a kind of time machine, if you think about it, though it doesn’t take us back to our pasts. It takes many of us to our futures, by opening up our perspectives…I know it is helping me to perceive my own future better.
    Thank you for all. I am so glad to have found you and Erick and the community here.

  • Cyndi

    Remember your parallels….you probably did do all of those things and those existences are all happening simultaneously in the moment.
    It took me almost thirty years to stop torturing myself over not having been there for my friend when she was shot and killed in her own home…We were 18 years old at the time…headed for college…best years of our lives…gone for her…and gone for me too, as I descended into a realm of grief I never thought I would emerge from…alive anyway.
    But I am happy to say that I finally feel free of that guilt and pain I carried around for so long…and one of the biggest reasons why is I managed to find you and your son.
    The sacrifice of his life in this realm has put us all in touch with another…He has lifted the veils of consciousness and given us the unique opportunity to experience the truth of who we are…while we are still living!!
    Now ,I don’t want to refer to him as the second coming or anything, but if in fact that were true, wouldn’t that make you God…Goddess???

  • Lelabelle

    In Eric’s situation and for people who die suddenly, I can comprehend how he “felt” BUT what about those that are ill for a long time and in and out of a coma for days. I just wonder if there is a sudden release of their soul or are they in and out of their physical bodies before the final time???? Oh dear, this is difficult to discuss…making me emotional just typing this. Omg Elisa, where else can anyone talk about these kinds of details about death and feel safe…only here 🙂

    • Sue

      Lelabelle, Erik has talked about how people in comas often leave their body for periods of time. I think it gives them a chance to get used to their transition prior to the final transition. They will have friends and family around too. In some ways, I think it is an easier transition for people than a quick one. I hope this helps. <3

  • Donna Sherman

    This was so profound to read…Thank you. As I read it, I could feel
    the scene described and Erik’s perspective in my every cell….it almost
    felt like my own memory, or perhaps a trigger of a similar event. Very
    moving and, yes, joyful and beautiful and sad all at once…
    Your own take too, at the bottom, describing the yearning for a time machine – I know that feeling well too, so very well.
    In a way what you have created here on this site and in your book (which I
    loved) serves as a kind of time machine, if you think about it, though
    it doesn’t take us back to our pasts. It takes many of us to our
    futures, by opening up our perspectives…I know it is helping me to
    perceive my own future better.
    Thank you for all. I am so glad to have found you and Erick and the community here.

  • Maggie Hunter-Brown

    Our hearts are with you Elisa!! For those parents in the CE community, with spirit children, we can relate to this sadness, as can anyone I’m sure. Erik was YOUR birth baby. I enjoyed reading “what’s gonna happen”.. as he is still speaking to us after 2009. For you, however, Elisa he is communicating and still connecting in the omnipresent, showing all of us that he IS for real. His pranks are bonus gravy, just jazzing up his presence in our lives too. With that, it brings our loved ones closer to us – so heart-felt!!! We luv ya <3

  • Debbie Berry

    Just dont know how we moms can keep on day after day with such heartache .. i want my girl back , i want Erik to come back for you ! Today is second anniversary of my sweet kylee’s death and my 36 wedding anniversary .. so wish i could hear from girl .. erik please tell her i love her xo

  • D Mom

    Thank you for being brave enough to share this part of Erik’s story. It sounds like you still have flashbacks of the event. Does that part ever go away? Although my son died under very different circumstances, it was very traumatic for 6 days in ER and ICU. I still suffer from PTSD but I am doing better more of the time. I am now 10 months out. I do love to hear the first awareness is that of peace and joy.

  • Sheila Mitchell

    I didn’t know about the details, how my son left. I want to know, no matter what, then I can release it and move forward again.

    I have been asking all heavenly bodies, past souls, angels, guardians, sending out prayers to all. This has been in petition to hear my son more, see him, prove he is with me. I hear him saying “I love you mom”, his voice…. I wouldn’t trade that for anything. Since I’ve read your book Elisa and Erik, I’ve asked Erik for help. I know I am greedy but. I need more; ok want more.

    So this is the punch line…yesterday morning predawn, a flash, a young man, thin, gives me a “ta da” gesture, like I’m here. I know it isn’t Ryan because it isn’t his personality, then I know; I just know, Erik! That is it, but now I know he is helping me and Ryan to connect. Oh God I say that so hopefully!

    Thank you Erik, send bricks if you need to.

  • luvscats

    I cried all the way through this ,I tried to relive what my sister went through when she suddenly died. I cried and still crying cause I felt your pain and loss and also I miss my sister so much . It will be a year aug 10 and I still cry and miss her , she maybe in a happy place but I am a lost soul . That song ” all at once ” came on while I was grocery shopping I had to leave the store because it was how I feel , I went to my car and cried and just couldn’t stop . I left my cart full and had to leave , I’m just drifting on memories wishing she was here with me . But it’s all gone all at once it was gone .. My memories my happiness gone … I’m so lost I’ll never get over my sisters death my best friend . I wish I could hug you I felt your pain so deeply , I’m sorry for your loss ..

  • JB

    Oh Elisa, it breaks my heart to read about how painful this must have been for you. I want to say thank you for having the strength to share these raw emotions with us.

    • Alan Fernandes

      My prayers and thoughts go out to you Elisa and all the other parents who have lost children in this lifetime.I cannot truly comprehend your pain as I have no children.The closest I can come to your grief is the grief I felt when one of my pets passed.I am probably very fortunate that I read this blog just to learn all I can about our souls and the afterlife not because I have lost someone. To all those here because of loss ,my prayers are with you.To you Erik and especially you Elisa I cannot express how you have touched my life and I am sure all those who visit the blog.Thankyou andGod Bless.Alan

  • Oh, I know it seems like that, but things do get better. I promise. I’ve been in parking lots, sobbing and screaming, trying to get out and do my grocery shopping. It’s hard. It really helped me to recreate the story behind Erik’s life and death.

  • I had to be clobbered by a lot of bricks for a long time before I was satisfied. No pain, no gain I guess. The whole “ta da” thing sure sounds like Erik.

  • Liz

    My heart goes out to you Elisa, reliving such a tragedy brings you right back to the moment. We lost our beautiful son Adam on 16th October 2009 in a car accident, he was just twenty years old. I have a great friend who is a psychic and have regular contact with Adam, he tells me it is awesome on the other side and will be there to greet me when it is my time, he sees everything that happens in our life, he says the word Death should not exist as nothing’s dies just moves forward to a higher vibration, sadly it is us that suffer without them. One day he will have the biggest hug ever. Love and light to you. Liz xx

  • mrtrex

    When spirits are say at the beach I was curious can they smell the saltwater and feel the breeze off the ocean?

  • Dean Brown

    You asked about having a time machine and going back to stop him. My oldest son was sitting on our bed with a 12 ga in his mouth and this thumb on the trigger when I entered the room. I fell to my knees and begged him to talk and to please take his finger away from the trigger so he did not accidently pull it. Thank God he did. Come to find out it was the anti-depressants he was on based on his young age. I am soooooo lucky I was able to get him to stop. I can only imagine your pain and try hard to understand it, but am glad I do not have to live it. Your videos have brought me great piece of mind. I have always believed in God and Jesus, but still wondered. I wonder no more. Keep up the great work!

    • Oh my god, what a miracle. What possessed you to go into his room at that exact moment? Can you imagine if you had not? How is he doing now? God I wish I had interceded Erik’s suicide.

  • Naomi

    Elisa, i can’t believe how strong you are. You truly amaze and inspire me so much.

  • Allison Stone

    My heart hurts so much reading this. The smiling face in my profile pic was taken before I lost my one and only baby of 8 months Elijah. Pictures of me today don’t look so truly happy. He passed a few years ago now, but my heart is still so sad and l beg every day for just a touch of the contact that you have with your boy. Maybe at 8 months he is unable to connect like Erik is able to. I’ve been to a few mediums but l am unable to make any contact that is not wishy washy, but then how can an 8 month old give you clear validation that it is them making contact, not just a medium clutching at straws. I’m so sad. and tired.
    P.S. I am truly happy for you Elisa, that your boy is still able to share so much love with you

    • There are so many terrible mediums. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able connect with him and continue to have a relationship with him. He’s the same, just without the “skin suit.” Please read through the archives if you can. Some are about the spiritual reasons for the deaths of young ones. Also, please consider reading Erik’s book, My Life After Death: A Memoir from Heaven. It’ll tell you everything your son went through, details about where he is now and what his life is like as a spirit. It’s only around $9 but I can send you the pdf if you want. It’s very healing. My email is Also, please connect with one of the mediums I have vetted like Kim, Emma, Veronica, Raylene, Celestine, Alison, etc. They’re in the links list under the favorites tab. Also, consider joining the private Channeling Erik Blog Members Group on Facebook. I bet he and Erik nudged you here. We’ve got your back.

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