Best of Erik: Suicide

Me: Okay, now what do I tell people when you’ve spent a lot of time here talking about how easy death usually is and how wonderful the afterlife can be? What’s to stop them from wanting to go there before it’s their time? I mean, you make a great case for dying. What can I tell them, Sweetie?

Erik: Well, first, Mom, you gotta define what is “before their time.”

Me: Oh, yeah, yeah, exactly. I guess what I want to know is what’s to keep people from committing suicide given you’re descriptions about Heaven, uh, when they maybe shouldn’t go that route?

(Long pause)

Me: It’s like getting off early from work when you’re not supposed to, you know? “It’s Friday; I’m leaving at two!”

Jamie (laughing): Sneaking out!

Me: Yeah.

Jamie: He has a really different tone when he’s talking right now. (pause) It’s not his, “Hey, I’m telling you a story. I’m chit-chatting.” His tone has kind of dropped a level—more sincere.

Erik: Mom, if people are at the place of suicide, and they’re romancing that idea—cuz that’s what it’s like; you have to romance it for a while before you test yourself to see if you have the strength to do it or not.

Me (somberly): Um hm.

Erik: If you find out you have the strength, I’m going to tell you right then and there, Mom, it’s not a wrong choice. I don’t know if you ever want to write that in a book.

Me: Well, should I or shouldn’t I?

Erik: I just don’t want you to catch hell, because people are going to rise up against you—humans need to have the structure and the rules. They have to be told what is right and wrong. But really, we’re supposed to do that internally for ourselves. And yes, Mom, people can be saved from suicide; people can be stopped; uh, a friend can show up and take the gun away; an unexpected person can arrive and pump their stomach of the pills they just took. Those are the moments of salvation that scream: “You have a second chance.”

Me (sadly): Yeah. How I wish…

Erik: But if you actually follow through on the suicide, and you achieve it, most of the time—I’ll say 70% of the time—you’re supposed to go. You’re supposed to go. But you’re right, there’s the other 30%–that’s a loose number—but there are those few who succeed that really should have had that second chance.

Me: Oh, yeah.

Erik: Those are the ones that have such a rough time over here in the afterlife, Mom. They have to retrace their steps as if they were living and help those who were supposed to be a crucial part of their life. You think it’s hard to communicate with someone who won’t listen to you? It’s way more difficult to talk while you’re dead to someone who’s living. It’s a real pain. It’s frustrating! So imagine the hardships that soul has trying to amend and make things smooth after their accidental “success” of suicide.

Me: You mean in trying to help those they left behind? Those who are grieving, who feel betrayed, abandoned?

Erik: Yeah. Yeah, cuz maybe it was in five years that the guy was supposed to win the lottery and give twenty thousand to his mom—

Me: Oh, yeah! I see!

Erik: —so she could develop a way to cure a toe fungus.

Me (chuckling): Ah!

Erik: And now that the guy killed himself, that’s not gonna happen. So now, he has to find ways to get other people in his mom’s life to do that, to give her the money and follow through with the destiny he cut short.

Me: Okay.

Erik: There’s that missing link, because they chose that free will option, and they followed through with it instead of allowing the structures of life to teach them.

Me: But the other ones who have a, um, those for whom it’s okay to commit suicide as their exit point, is that always predetermined between lives?

Erik: Predetermined? Yes.

Me: Like, “Okay, I’m finished with my spiritual contract, so…”

Erik: Yes.

Me: Okay.

Erik: Wouldn’t it be great if we could change the term, “commit suicide?” To “be committed,” that’s like jail time.

Me: Yeah, I guess for those who die at their predestined exit point, death is freeing.

Erik: Yeah, what’s up with that? 

Me: Well, were you one of the 30% or one of the 70%?

Erik: Oh, I was one of the 70%.

Me: So it was your time?

Erik: Yes.

Me: Wow. Well, look at all the good you’re doing, so maybe it was. So, was this planned between lives for you, or was it one of many exit points for you?

Erik: It was planned, but you’re right, it was one of many possible exit points. My other one’s would have soon followed this one. It wasn’t like thirty more years, and there’d be another opportunity. They were all grouped together in my twenties.

Me: Why was this your designed exit point? What was the reason? It seems like you were just so confused about what you were here to do, so why, uh—

Erik: Because I have a bigger voice here, Mom.

Me: Oh, okay.

Erik: You’re my megaphone. And through your experiences of this, other people around the world have been enlightened and will be enlightened.

Me: So, in a way, it was your destiny, and the whole purpose was for you to help others with your bigger voice in the afterlife? Is that what you’re saying? I just want to make sure I get this right.

Erik: Yeah, and to help you find your place, Mom.

Me: Oh, okay. Like we’ve talked about before, early on, you said it was not your destiny.

Erik: Well, right after death, you’re more likely to be a little confused. I wasn’t totally oriented to what was going on, what happened and why.

Me: Yeah, I remember you saying that. It makes so much more sense. Of course, I’d much rather your death be something you designed between lives for a higher purpose, but it also explains why, of all the kids, I could never imagine you getting old, getting married, having kids, and—

Erik: Yeah, neither could I.

Me: So, I guess I must have known deep inside.


Jamie (in mock offense): No! Erik, that’s just mean! He says women aren’t the best mediums—

I gasp!

Jamie: See, isn’t that mean?

Me (laughing): You are so grounded, Mister!

Jamie: He says we tend to want to console, and so we put our own feelings within the reading to sugarcoat things. If you were to find a male medium, they’re a little more dry and harsh, less compassionate, so they’d tend to say things straight up.

Me: Well, gosh, I find that, in general, women are much better at channeling!

Jamie: Yeah, we’re more receptive!

Me (chuckling): That’s right, more receptive! What’s with that, Erik, you male chauvinist!

Erik (laughing): Pig?

Me: Yes, yes, yes, that’s what I was going to say, but I didn’t want to diss the pigs!

Jamie (laughing hard): You didn’t want to hurt the pig’s feelings! He’s laughing so hard!

Me: So, it was your destiny, right? This is important to me, so I want to clarify it completely.

Erik: Yep, it was my destiny to check out.

Me: So, Erik, what’s your advice to those who want to kill themselves?

Erik: Don’t do it if it’s not 100% your destiny, because your problems won’t go away with death. For instance, if you have a bad self-esteem, it’ll still suck. If you have problems with confidence, with intimacy, with openness, you’ll still have these problems when you cross, plus you’ll just feel so horrible about what you’ve done to those you love. On top of all that, you’ll have to clean up the mess you left behind with your loved ones and the destinies that have been altered by the ripple effect from your death. People who kill themselves are really shocked by that when they cross over. They think it’s a clean release with no more crap to deal with. And cleaning up all this type of shit is much harder to do in the afterlife.

Me: Well, that should be enough to convince them. Okay, so is there anything else you want to say about anything? You talked about death, what happens afterwards, the life review, the socializing period, and, well, I guess that’s it as far as the sequence of what happens at and shortly after death. So, then what? You go to different classes, you underwent some therapy, you’ve evolved there in the afterlife according to your changing belief system. I remember at the beginning you were in an environment very similar to the earthly plane, because that’s what your belief system seemed to mesh with. And now you’ve graduated out of that, because your belief system opened up to greater possibilities, right? Tell me in your own words for the book.

Erik: You could say belief systems, but it’s more like—

Jamie (giggling): Baby birds? Really, Erik?

Erik: Yeah, it’s like being a baby bird—

Jamie (after listening to Erik’s explanation for a bit): Oh, that’s right, baby birds are born knowing everything!

Me: Oh, really? Cool!

Erik: Yeah, they don’t have to learn anything. They’re born with all their knowing, their lessons, already done. They know how to build a nest; they know how to fly; they know everything.

Me: Oh, yeah!

Erik: So when you die, you’re a baby bird, and it just takes time for you to open up. It’s not really about learning things; it’s about remembering what you already know.

Me: Awesome metaphor, Erik. Okay, Baby, I guess that’s all we have time for. Thank you so much, Jamie.  Alright, Sweetie, until next time.

Jamie (giggling): He’s blowing you kisses!

Me: Aw, thank you, Erik. I love you.

Many of you have seen this video of Erik singing while driving home from Florida with his sister, Michelle. I find the words so ironically prophetic. At one point, you can see his dark despair come through, followed purposeful comic relief. I wish I had been there to hug him. I wish I could hug him now.

If you can’t access the above YouTube, here’s the direct link:




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Elisa Medhus

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  • Brenda

    Elisa….This a question for Erik…..How do you know if you’re one of the 70% or one of the 30%? I feel that I have achieved my life’s purpose, I’m tired, and I just want to go home.

    • Good question. I’ll ask him, but the queue is very long as is the transcribed sessions to be posted, so I hope you’re patient. 🙁

      • Brenda

        Thank you Elisa…..Love to you and Erik.

    • I know the feeling.. I feel the same.. but look at the people around you… who needs you the most? who looks up to you for advice and love? Who still needs you support and wisdom… the answer should be inside you.

    • shari&thefurryangels

      Brenda ….. Erik said to be 100% sure you are supposed to do this. I really thought i had the right to shut down my heart & get out of here. I am single & wo children….. but i have many positive things i could still do here & make a difference. After reading this….. it makes me want to stay here. I don’t know your situation but pls don’t jump ship without thinking of others that will be affected. I have a sister that does not want to be left here wo me & she has a husband & three kids. We have a mother to care for that is beyond difficult. I would like to give up & get out of here. But I can’t be sure & so if i was in the 70% and stayed here…. ? lol ….. I would rather stay & make a difference and if i am supposed to go, then the universe will kick my butt out…. 😉
      Much love & hugs to you Brenda

      • Steph k.

        I agree. Also to Brenda, you never know what that purpose may be or who that person who would be hurt/ deprived by your not being here. It could be a random stranger you were to cross paths with and perhaps a simple gesture of a smile or kind word from you that changed their whole life. Like Eric said, he was destined to leave the earth and had he not done it, there were other exit points designed within that time frame that would have done it for him. Wait for that exit point that doesn’t leave you or your loved ones with any questions as to if it was your time or not. And even though it was Eric time/ destiny, he STILL had a lot of work and heartache (via self and loved ones left here) to work through on the other side as a result. We ALL have a special purpose here, while we are here (big or small), please don’t deprive us of yours 🙂 Stick it out with us, please. XOXOXO

      • Brenda

        Thank you Steph XOXO

      • Brenda

        Thank you Shari…..YOU are a furry angle. XOXO

      • shari&thefurryangels

        You hang in there with us Brenda… Love & Hugs 🙂

  • Remi

    Love the video, thanks for sharing it! Shows a lovely loving family ..

  • Chris

    Well this was somewhat sad and depressing…But remember everyone, happiness is just thoughts away….and it’s a matter of perspective…everything in this world is a matter of perspective…and when you gain perspective you also gain knowledge, wisdom and insight along the way…

  • Chris

    Elisa, I know this is random but I remember there being a post about how the other side channels information subconsciously to our movie directors and writers and how reincarnation is real…well there is this book that was turned into a movie called “Cloud Atlas” and I suggest watching the 5 minute movie trailer on youtube…it’s so beautiful, it’ll probably bring you to tears because it will remind you about why we are all here and what we are here to learn…the trailer is truly amazing…and the music! :,)

    • I have seen it and you’re right, it is amazing. Made me tear up!!

  • Great message Erik, thanks.

  • Erik

    Elisa… This is a question for Erik.. Given I have suffered a tremendous blow in my life, the suicide of my brother when I was 12, the loss of my mother in 2001.. most of my family is gone from the Earth. I have been feeling rather depressed and have suicidal thoughts myself. I am pending financial collapse and destruction. How do I know if I am one of the 70% or 30%? I feel I have nothing to live for anymore and just want to go home and end this miserable life on Earth. I want to be with my mom, my uncle, my grandmother.. I leave behind a 13 year old son who tortures me and abuses me and an ex-wife who doesn’t really love me or care about me.

    Can Erik help me? Before I am to carry out with ending my life I want Erik to contact my mom and I want to see what she has to say as well as my brother? I was told by another medium that my brother reincarnated, but I choose to believe that he is still in the Spiritual World. I just can sense my time is running out and that each day I feel progressively worse. I just feel that this life is not working out for me. Calamity after calamity has engulfed me. Erik, please advise me on what I should do? Part of me wants to stay here as I have a son to care for while I really just want to join my family. Please help!!!

    Thank you,

    • I emailed you, Erik. Again, I think the best thing for you to do is talk to Erik on a conference call or talk to your guardian angel through Jeannie Barnes–or both. This decision is just too important.

  • Nehaa

    Hi Elisa,

    Someone i knew well also committed suicide. And Erik had mentioned it was a mistake. Then, how do they fix it? Or once they are at peace, its fixed automatically?

    • All of them pretty much go through therapy looking at other lives that influenced their decision, revisiting their spiritual contracts, their current lives, etc.

  • What if someone convinces themselves they should complete suicide but they are wrong because of a depression, etc.? Who’s to say or know the depression could and likely will improve? Can we really believe some who complete suicide was their destiny? This kind of thinking is askew and dangerous.

  • Really there is no right or wrong even in one’s choice of death. It’s a personal choice and everything is a lesson. Most suicides are not one’s destiny, i.e. planned exit point but that’s where the lesson comes in. Perhaps it’s to cherish the value of life and the human experience. With every suicide, you leave behind a wake of guilt and grief, though. I know Erik’s death was like an atom bomb exploding in our family. And the one who takes their life feels it all.

  • shari&thefurryangels

    Well ….. Barbara ; Erik said people would rise up against this kind of thinking. People need that right or wrong thinking. Black & white thinking is what i call it. I will say this….. I have the upmost respect & admiration for what Erik did !!! I think taking taking your life and getting out of here is the single most courageous thing a human being can do…. I am in awe of what it takes, to say this is NOT working & I am out of here. And thank God for Elisa’a courage to do this website & pursue one of the best mediums out there. Then bring us all this wonderful information. This kind of thinking is NOT dangerous… it is what people need to hear. The truth. Sorry….. I am new here; but very passionate about what Elisa, Erik & Jamie bring us. Elisa took something deeply tragic in her life and now we all have the opportunitty to learn from it. Much love & respect for everyone here.

    • Still, it’s hard. I miss him.

      • shari&thefurryangels

        I can’t even imagine that kind of pain…. I would miss him too & want him around. Love & Hugs

  • Roseline

    Tonight I wanted to kill myself. I was done with the pain caused by my parents, the grief and misunderstanding. I was done with the hatred and confusion of myself. I was done with the inferior feelings. I am a frequent viewer of CE, but what a coincidence that I ran into this blog on this exact day. I believe tonight was a possible exit point, but it was not 100% my destiny to leave this Earth tonight. I will be strong and carry on.

    • Roseline, please email me. I want you to have my cell number so you have someone to call on if you need to. Also, you should ask Erik when your true exit point is, what your spiritual mission is this lifetime, and why you feel so lost now. Please do this at the next conference call before if gets booked up. My email is

      • Roseline

        Thank-you so much for your kindness, but I’m alright now! I actually did book a spot in the conference call. Thank-you, I will email you for support <3.

  • I love that Erik called you his megaphone Elisa. He is amazing!

  • Wendy

    I’m sorry Dr. Medhus, but do you realize the potential harm you are doing to so many families, friends, loved ones by giving those suffering from depression and suicidal thoughts the inclination that killing themselves is their fate? I cannot imagine the pain of losing to someone to something that is so inexplicable, but please, for the sake of those people’s loved ones, examine what kind of destructive behavior you are encouraging.

    • It’s a hard call, Wendy, because I’ve had so many people who have claimed posts like these have helped them make the decision not to take their life. Erik makes it clear throughout the blog that suicide is usually not an option, that you don’t leave your problems behind and in fact you leave a wake of grief that you must witness and feel. That said, I don’t feel like we’re encouraging anything. If anything, we’re discouraging it. In the end, it’s up to the individual and hopefully the support of those around him or her will be enough. Any comments pro or con from other CE members?

  • Robyn Thomas

    Elisa… Question for Erik. I have been approched (in my dreams) by a classmate that committed suicide our senior year. Because of his suicide I went down a totally different path than I ever would have if he had stayed living. Everytime he has approached me, I have turned him away, yelled at him or purposly woke myself up because of how very angry, even 20 years later, I am at him and his choice and how it caused me to go through so many hardships. How does this affect him in the afterlife when I openly reject his visits and apology? What is he trying to accomplish by visiting? Is he just going to say “sorry” and move on? I really don’t want to talk to him if he is just doing this to clear his own mind… I have been left here to struggle on earth and the aftermath he left. Also, Has Erik met “Tinkerbell” my cat yet? I asked him to help her cross back in October… I felt like he did, just curious 🙂

  • Nancy Antia

    Elisa, I’m quite concerned about the problems and difficulties we have here that, from what I understand, do travel with us as unwanted luggage to the afterlife. What worries me most is depression. Erik has told us you get plenty of help up there but it’s up to you. He said if you want to be depressed, you can stick to your depression. My question is if there are cases where spirits are depressed, want to get rid of their depression but in spite of all the help, they just can’t.

  • The problem is you don’t work on what you came to Earth to do. That, in and of itself, can feel terrible. Yes, you get therapy to mend torn energy and to link past life experiences to current feelings, but that doesn’t take away the grief you must witness that you leave behind. Remember, it’s hard for spirits to hang on to negative emotions, though. Still, it’s hard to watch their loved ones suffer and to know that you just pissed away the precious opportunity that only the human experience can offer.

    • Nancy Antia

      I understand. Thank you, Elisa.

  • Well, I can’t accept Ask Erik questions anymore because when I did, I got flooded with so many requests that it got to be too expensive for me. I pay for all these sessions myself. So I can’t ask about Tinkerbell. I can guess on the situation with your friend. Maybe his suicide was a contract you and he made before your incarnation that was meant for some sort of lesson or was meant to send you on some sort of spiritual path. Maybe he keeps coming back because you’re not on that path. I think you should have Erik bring him to one of the conference calls. The next one is 3/7 but I’m not sure if it’s filled up. They get full pretty quickly.

    • Robyn Thomas

      Thank you so much for your reply Elisa 🙂 I know it deffinatly sent me on a different spiritual path, I just never thought of it being a contract that was prearranged. Very possible, maybe I will try to make a conference! Might be very worth it! Thank You!

  • I don’t get it. All this talk about pre-determination. If our lives are pre-determined, then where does our free will come into play? It sounds like we’re just puppets.

    • We design our own lives before we reincarnate but free will when we’re on the earthly plane can create a few zig zags on that path. Read the archives and you’ll learn so much more.

  • james

    I plan on killing myself here soon, and I plan on leaving a bunch of
    suicide notes behind blaming it on your website,telling people that your
    website told me to kill myself so that i can get to heaven in hopes of
    ruining you . I thank you for this information, for If i didn’t know
    about the afterlife I probably wouldn’t have the guts to kill myself.

    • I don’t know why you would say that. Disclaimers are written everywhere. All I can tell you is that life is worth living and you are worth a life. You sound like you’re in a lot of pain, sweetie. I really want to help but you must also seek professional help. Also see the help of supportive family members and friends. They love you and I’m sure they want you to stay too. Please email me so we can set up a time to talk. I’m here for you no matter what you decide to do. In fact, you have an entire CE community here that I’m sure is willing to reach out to you.

    • By the way, my email is

    • Simon

      I feel suicidal everyday but I keep going because life is worth living.

      • And if you were nudge to the blog by Erik or whoever, you’re meant to complete a mission.

      • Simon

        I don’t mean I want to kill myself, but I get low periods, then I’m okay again.

      • That’s good. I guess that’s true of most of us.

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