Enjoy Part Four. Sorry I had to edit one part out. First time for everything. If it’s going to happen, it’ll happen with this guy!
Me: Now, do you think it was your destiny to die when and how you did?
George: Really? You think there was a choice in that?
Me: Yeah, well, I don’t know; you tell me!
George: Woman, don’t you think it all happened for a particular reason? Maybe it was a huge conspiracy that they didn’t want me alive anymore on Earth because I was disrupting the flow of beliefs, the flow of Big Brother? No, my body couldn’t do any more and I abused it.
Me: Did you design this death between lives?
George: I don’t remember designing anything.
Me: Okay. Well, tell me what your afterlife is like, now. What does it look like and what do you do there?
George: My afterlife looks like me haunting a lot of people that I knew and me playing the role of Pee Wee Herman in dark theaters.
Me: Oh, boy. You’re joking, right?
Jamie: He is joking, but, um, I know I’m not playing it off right, but he’s teasing about being the prankster in dark spaces much like Pee Wee Herman did.
Me: Oh, boy. Erik, you might want to learn some tricks from him. He sounds like the master prankster.
Jamie (laughing): Do we really want the two of them teaming up?
Me: Hell, no! Erase, erase! Never mind!
Jamie: Phew!
Me: So, for real, what does it look like where you are? And what do you really do?
George: For real it looks similar to spaces on Earth. I had such a good time putting people down; I still want to continue doing that, so that’s what I do.
Me: Interesting. Let people lighten up a bit? People tend to take themselves too seriously. They need to quit it.
George: They do.
Me: What insight did you gain once you crossed over? Now you have a broader perspective.
Jamie (giggling): He’s laughing.
George: No matter what you believe in, you’re still going to end up dead.
Me: That’s right. None of us are getting out of this alive! So that’s your new insight?
George: Yeah. It’s not about how holy you are or how murderous you are, you’re all going to end up dead.
Me: Exactly. Now, what were you here to learn and teach?
George: I really think I was sent to Earth to learn how to be good.
Me: Oh!
George: I don’t think I achieved any of it.
Me: Oh boy.
George: Maybe that’s why I was punished with the big d#$%.
Me: Punished?
Jamie: He’s laughing!
Me: Oh, god. So, what about to teach? Were you here to teach anything?
George: Really? You think I was there to teach something?
Me (chuckling): I don’t know! Who’s the interviewer, me or you?
George: Not to pull the words out of your mouth, but I really think I was here to teach people to shut up and to not take themselves so seriously.
Me: That’s good. We still got a long way to go on that lesson. Just watch people on the news or those around you. So many have this bloated sense of self-importance.
Jamie giggles in agreement.
George: It’s true, but at least I can mark Fox News off my list, because they definitely don’t take themselves seriously!
Me: Oh, god, no. Now, what about regrets? Do you have any?
George: Nah, I was able to say everything I wanted to whenever I wanted to and people hailed me for it.
Me: Lucky you! I could never get away with that.
George: Oh, it’s all talent.
Erik: Yeah, all talent and big d#$%s.
George: (Edited )
Me: Now, what was your proudest accomplishment while you were alive?
George: The birth of my daughter.
Me: Aw, and do you still consider that your proudest accomplishment?
George: Yeah.
Me: How wonderful.
George: I fucking hated how vulnerable I felt when I held her. I knew that was the only thing I could believe in.
Me: Do you have any messages for her?
George: Tell her she is my sun.
Me: Aw. I’ll try to get that to her.
An interview with George Carlin’s daughter, Kelly:
