Dealing with the Rug Rats

I’m so excited! Tomorrow I’m going to be posting the audio of the Lisa William’s channeling event where Erik came through. The way she describes him is so uncannily accurate. So an audience of 700-800 got to see our rascal in action. Attention whore!! (I love you, Erik.) Here’s Erik’s take on parenting 101. If you have trouble with your kids, I really, really recommend you read my second parenting book, Hearing is Believing: How Words Can Make or Break Our Kids. Just a few simple tweaks in language can actually transform your family life from chaos to Nirvana. I’m not trying to plug the book and get you guys to buy it. You can check it out in many libraries for free!

Me: Okay, what are some tips on how to parent children? Give me some of the main ones. I could have used them 5 kids ago, but go ahead. Better late than never.

Jamie: He’s up and pacing.

Erik: You really want to ask that? Oh my god.

Me: Well give me a couple of big ones. Throw me out a couple.

(Pause)

Jamie: Oh, he’s really excited!

Erik: Okay, just a couple of big ones. Number one—

(Pause)

Jamie (to Erik): Yeah, just stick to the parenting thing.

I can’t believe I’m asking one of my children about parenting. Who’d have thunk?

Erik: Listen to the child’s emotional needs, not to what they’re saying. They don’t always have the right words, or sometimes they misuse the words. Listen to the emotions. Number two: let the child lead even though you might think they’re immature or that they are too little. They know their safety. They know their boundaries. Yes, we’re not going to let them lead themselves across a highway just because they understand what a fast moving car can do. I’m not saying that. I’m saying that there are times that you are holding them back for fear that something might happen even in a area that’s generally safe, let’s say a playground or a field. Don’t run after them because you want to see what they’re stepping on or you want to, uh, sometimes you just need to let them take care of themselves.

Me: Yeah, and discover their environment, discover their abilities, figure out how to use their bodies.

Erik: Yes. My third big one would be: Ask your child what they feel and what they need. You’d be so surprised to find that they have an understanding way beyond what you’d expect. Sometimes I’ll see a mom or a dad feel or think that they’re really needed, that they’re there to raise that child, and that’s exactly what they’ll do. They don’t ever stop and ask, “What are your needs, and what are you feeling?”

Me: Okay, those are all good. What can we do about problem teenagers? Why do they become that way, and what can we do to help them?

Erik: That’s hard because “problem” is a really big word. We have to take into consideration hormone imbalances; mental imbalance, emotional imbalance, and then we need to look at their nutrition. We also have to look at whether the child is being undermined, not being respected. So problems can arise from all of those. If you can’t figure it out yourself, then you need to sit down with a therapist or a doctor to see where your child fits into those problems.

Me: How can we raise our kids to be more spiritual?

Erik: Start from the beginning by letting the child have more respect and boundaries and treating them as emotional beings.

Me: What about their schooling? Is there anything we can do to change schools such that they help us raise our kids to be more spiritual?

Jamie is using her hands to show that Erik is talking a mile a minute.

Jamie: He’s way ahead of you.

This is a subject Erik is passionate about.

Erik: I don’t like the public school structure that puts the teacher as the authority figure and sets up the class to fit the extrovert where it’s designed for all kids to do the same task to reach a number goal. Fucking pisses me off.

Me: I know. I don’t care for it either.

Erik: It’s not giving us what we need. We do all understand that the public school system was designed by some person who thought, “Oh, we have more than one child. We can’t teach each one in the way that they need so we’re going to design a format that everyone should fit into.” It’s not working, and now, with technology growing and booming, we’re not using it in our classroom [in the way that we should] whether it’s for financial reasons or ignorance—they don’t believe it can do anything for the child, that it’s just a distraction. We’re missing out on experiences. Kids learn by experiences, not by sitting down and being told the story about how somebody else traveled or explored or discovered something. Schools can be designed to teach through experiences and customized with visual or audio or kinetic learning [depending on the needs of the child.] And the kids can learn at their own pace. You’d be surprised.

Me: Like a Montessori School.

Erik: Yes. Yes, Montessori fits some kids. You’d be surprised that kids who learn at their own pace can sometimes graduate at the age of 15.

Me: Could they also—and will they—embed things into the curriculum that are spiritual like learning how to meditate, learning how to energy heal, learning how to get centered, grounded.

Erik: I think what needs to be put into every curriculum is Nonviolent Communication to learn to speak through emotional needs.

Me: Great book.

Erik: That also helps with conflict resolution. I believe that finding your center can be taught in every school. For some kids, that might be sitting still and meditating. For other kids it might be yoga or singing. We have to teach to their audio, visual and kinetic strengths. One other thing that should be taught: along with the respiratory system, the digestive system and other systems is the energetic system.

Me: Oh yeah. The chakras.

Erik: Yeah, we have enough information on it now that we can use it to help heal our bodies, our emotional selves, boost our confidence—we’d have some bad ass kids in the States.

Me: I know! I think we’re just going to have to start out with charter schools. You guys out there, start one! We need them badly. Then maybe that’ll spread through the public school system.

I actually found one!

I actually found one!

I guess that’s a short one for today. I’m going to take my first stab and vlogging Friday with my new camera. Wish me luck because I suck at things like this! TTFN!

 

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About Author

Elisa Medhus


  • Sharon Young

    I cant wait to see your video, how exciting! Happy Mother’s Day Elisa!♥

  • Heather

    I went to a charter school that allowed us to learn in the way we wanted. You’d sign up for a “theme” like Psychology, web design, Marketing, Forensics, etc. You’d take that class where every subject (English, math, and science, etc) surrounded around that theme. I loved this school so much! They let you learn at your own pace, and you got to choose the projects you wanted to do. The teachers were not seen as an authority figure, but as your partner or guide to help you. I took Psychology, and sometimes we’d do meditations or some chose to do Tae Kwon Do instead. We’d also do emotional healing exercises. That school helped me to find my identity. I only wish that every school was more like that. It was called the Center for Advanced Research and Technology (CART).

  • T Diaz

    “Ask your child what they feel and what they need. You’d be so surprised to find that they have an understanding way beyond what you’d expect. ” This blog post made me feel so good because I actually do this! People have complimented me about my child’s sense of empathy since he was 2, no kidding. If I’m exasperated with him, oftentimes I’ll say, “What do you need right now? What do you need me to do? ” Usually, it’s as simple as a hug 🙂

  • Lorraine (LP)

    I can’t wait for the audio with Lisa Williams, she is awesome! And you are too Elisa. (hugs)

  • Donna Wilcox

    I own a daycare center and I can tell you that Erik is spot on. we have a child centered approach to learning where the teacher is the facilitator. the children learn at their own pace and there is plenty of manipulatives to explore and think outside the box. the kids are so happy and its a wonderful environment for them. the lesson plans that we use for the preschoolers are similar to a spider design. The circle in the center is the theme and the legs extending out from the circle are all the subjects that are centered around that theme. another feature are learning centers where the kids can go to the Learning Center of their choice and play act. it’s amazing how much they learn this way.

    • JanL

      Where are you Donna?

      • Donna Wilcox

        I live in New York.

  • Barbara Wikle

    Would love to see our schools change to spiritual, sensitive and compassionate teaching!

  • Stephanie Grace

    I had a very challenging afternoon with my 3 y/o son and I am so glad that my mom came over to give me a break. I was in the midst of a breakdown when she got here, lol. Then this was posted to FB, something I needed to read. I also couldn’t believe that charter school was mentioned at the end- I just found out on the 5th that my daughter got accepted into one, and it was the best b-day gift I could have asked for. Thank you

  • SweetasMegPie

    Mama E how do I access your book in your free libraries??

    • What do you mean, free libraries? I’m sure you can find it in some public libraries if that’s what you mean. 🙂

      • SweetasMegPie

        Oh my goodness my apologies. I totally misread what you wrote in the post. After rereading it I saw my glitch. Lol!! Downloaded the sample to start reading until my book arives!! Super excited!

  • lsm

    This is so important, and on point.

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