Erik Describes His Own Death

I can’t freaking believe it. A team from Texas actually won a championship! Go Astros! I watched parts of it, but I tend to get a little nervous and emotional with these down-to-the-wire games, so I went to bed before it was all over. Of course I smiled with every hoop and holler I heard coming from the other room and knew that they won when the cheers could be heard by everyone in the surrounding tri-county area. Go Astros!! 

Enjoy this Best of Erik. I can’t bear to read it again, though.

Me: Erik, can you describe death and what happens right afterwards in great detail—at least what happens for most. I know everybody’s death is different, but just give me whatever generalities you can.

(Long pause as Jamie listens to him)

Jamie: Okay. Hmm. I think he’s smoked out or something!

Me: Ah oh!

Jamie and I giggle.

Jamie: He’s laughing.

Me: He’s going to go out for some ethereal nachos later.

Jamie: Seriously! He won’t include me. He won’t tell me why he’s giggling, so I don’t know where it’s coming from.

Erik: To explain death in general, I think it does it an injustice, Mom. So, remind all of the readers at the beginning that death is hand tailored to the person’s living belief system. Whatever you’re actively believing in: nothing, God, you face your demons before you have joy, you become a ghost—whatever it is. This is going to be laid out for you.

Me: Okay, then let’s talk about your death. You’re dead; so let’s talk about that. What were your beliefs? I never really—

Erik: God, aren’t you rude!

Me: I’m sorry, but let’s talk about—

Erik: Put this down before we change subjects, because people are gonna ask, “Why is it based on your individual belief systems?” And you need to let them know that they’re the tool. The physical body is the luggage. It contains the spirit. When the body dies, it becomes a soul. It leaves the body, and that soul is then kind of contained in consciousness. That character that you built, all those intangibles, what made you laugh—

Jamie (to Erik): Yes, your personality. Got it.

Erik: And so the way it moves through these dimensions to get to Home, Heaven, whatever the hell you wanna call it, it’s gotta do that through that conscious element that you’ve set up—that belief system that you set up. That’s gonna be told to be there. So that’s the basis. Now, you’re asking me what I believed in. I don’t really fucking know. It definitely wasn’t all this! I learned way more about the structure of the afterlife by being here.

Me: Well, when you pulled that trigger, did you think there was going to be nothingness, or did you—

Erik: I was kind of hoping for it. I mean, really, I was so desperate to get out of my skin. I was just hoping that I could (pause) kind of what I would imagine, Mom, like a person with a puppy or a baby who has a lack of sleep. I just wanted a good night’s sleep. I just wanted some good, solid peace.

Me: Yeah. So, did you, uh, you were sort of hoping there was something, or you were not even thinking about it?

Erik: Wasn’t even thinking about it.

Me: Did you ever think about, in your life, whether there could be something afterwards?

Erik: Yeah! Yeah, cuz you hear, you know, those ghost stories. For me, it wasn’t about God or miracles. What I connected more to, which I thought was way more fucking unbelievable were the ghosts.

Jamie (to Erik): Really? That’s kind of a neat way to think about it, right?

Me: Yeah.

Erik: Cuz it’s not like God’s coming down—

Jamie (laughing): The way he says it!

Erik: It’s not like God’s coming to your house and fucking with your shit and knocking stuff over! No, that’s the dead dude. So, you know there might be life after the one you’re living in, but shit, it doesn’t have to be based on a religious belief system. I had an inkling that there’d be an afterlife, but I had no fucking idea what it would contain.

Me: Okay. When you pulled that trigger, what happened right after? First of all, did it hurt?

Erik: No, I don’t remember any pain. I remember the sound, but I don’t remember anything touching me. Just the sound. So, I think, I guess you know how you get pulled from your body?

Me: So, you felt a pulling sensation?

Erik: No, it was weird. It was like the lights went out. You know, I got my eyes closed. I remember pulling the trigger. I remember I was quick about it. I didn’t hesitate. I knew I was going to do this. This was the time. That was it. I didn’t have any doubt about what I was doing. I wasn’t conflicted. It’s kind of like that set of mind?

Jamie (to Erik): What do you mean, “set of mind”?
Me: Mindset?

Jamie: Yeah that.

Erik: That mindset you get when you’re running a really long race, and you see the finish line.

Me: Ah, yeah.

Erik: You don’t really tap in to how exhausted you are, or what emotions you’re feeling. You just have your eye on the goal, and you’re gonna get there. For me, I had my eye on the goal. I had to get out. I remember the feel of the gun, pulling the trigger, hearing the sound. There’s darkness, and they I was looking at my body.

Me: Hmm. That must have been freaky.

Erik: Yeah. I had no clue. I did NOT know that I would be able to see myself. That never even crossed my mind. I really just kind of thought I would go into nothing. I wanted it to crumble. I wanted it to go away. I wanted to snuff it out.

Me: What were your emotions like when you saw your body? What did you feel?


Jamie (to Erik): Oh, that’s the face? (To me) He just kind of went blank on me, and his mouth hung slightly open, and he just, he said that’s what he felt.

Me: His jaw dropped? That sort of thing? Like “What the fuck”?

Erik: No, no, Mom! It was wild. I didn’t know what the fuck. It was more of an, “Oh. Oh.” I didn’t want to stay there. I didn’t want to see everything, but I couldn’t leave. It’s like watching a bad car wreck.

Me: Oh, yeah.

Erik: But I wasn’t tethered to it at all. It was bizarre.

Me: Tethered emotionally?

Erik: Yeah.

Me: What else did you feel?

Erik: I guess it was shock more than anything.

Me: Did you feel euphoria along with it?

Erik: Quiet. It was quiet. I had no pain. I didn’t have any worries, and that was unsettling, because I hadn’t felt that in a long time, like everything was in its right place.

Me: Oh!

Erik: So, I think it was way more unsettling that celebratory.

Me: Did you think it was cool to just fly around? Did you feel that unconditional love that a lot of people talk about?

Erik: No.

Me: Or was that when you crossed over?

Erik: Yes. When I crossed over.

Me: All right. Let’s talk more then. So, you were looking at that (his body), and you were like, “Wow”, and there was a little bit of shock. Did you feel a little bit of, “Oh, shit? What are they going to think when they find me?”

(Long pause)

Jamie: He’s real quiet. I can tell he’s going through it.

(Very long pause)

Jamie: I’m telling him to take his time.


Erik: You know, I don’t slow down to think about my death too much.

(Long pause)

Erik: To me, it was a way out. It has a lot of pain associated with it.

Me (tearing up): Mm hm.

Erik: It’s not just my pain, but my family’s pain and mu friends’ pain.

Me: Yeah.

(Long pause. Clearly he’s not comfortable)

Me (sensing his discomfort and wanting to spare him further pain): Well, let’s not dwell on it. Let’s go to what happened and what it felt like when you started getting out of your room. Tell me about that.

Erik: I remember seeing my body leave.


Me: You body leave? Oh, when they were taking you away?

Erik: In the bag.

Me: Okay. Right.

Erik: Then I remember thinking that I needed to say goodbye.

Me: Yeah.

Erik: And if I remember right, That’s when I started checking in with family members.


Me: That must have been painful, because we were not happy.

(Long pause)

Jamie: He’s got his elbows on his knees; his hands are clasped in front of him. Very casual, but he’s (pause) solemn. A little bit more solemn.

Erik: I remember finding—

(Long pause)

Jamie (with emotion): Aw. He’s tearing up.

Me: Oh. We don’t have to do this, Baby.

Erik (teasing): Shut up, Mom.

Jamie:  Tearing up, but not afraid to tell you to be quiet.

I chuckle softly.

Erik: When you slow down to go back through your memories, you see more. You do miss a lot when you’re in the moment, like your eyes aren’t big enough. I know I’ve told you before. I’m really sorry—for you. I’m really sorry for Pappa and for everyone else in my family.

Me (sobbing quietly): Yeah.

Erik: But I know there’s one thing—I cannot apologize for my happiness.

Me: I know. I’m happy for you. I wouldn’t have it any other way. If I had to choose between you being here an miserable, of course…

Erik: How fucked up is it, Mom, that that was my option?

Me: Yeah. I wouldn’t want that to happen.

Erik: What I can’t seem to figure out when I go through it again, “Why does it hurt so bad when the outcome was exactly what I was looking for?

Me (still crying): And you’re happy. I mean, how could it hurt when you’re happy? I’m just looking at the moment. The moment is unhappy, but the result was happy. So, we’ll move past the moment. Tell me about your crossing over. Did you, I remember you said something like you felt like you were bing tugged by your shoulders. I can’t remember exactly.

Erik: Yeah. I felt like I was being pulled back. I guess I just really wasn’t’ paying attention. It sounds like me, anyway. Like, I was looking at something I wasn’t supposed to be looking at.

Me (confused): You were looking at something you weren’t supposed to be looking at?

Jamie: He’s speaking in general.

Me: Oh, okay.

Erik: That’s probably why I didn’t’ see this big gorgeous white light, you know, hear angels sing!

Jamie (giggling): He’s laughing.

I chuckle through my tears.

Erik: Nah, I was probably fucking doing something wrong and over to the side. Probably I got jerked.

Me: Oh, I see. I see.

Erik: Yeah. THAT feeling was unspeakable. That one is like taking a body and putting it through a strainer and have all of the pieces come out on the other end, but different. Clean. I supposed it would be the feeling that I would think back in the old times when people thought that if they were baptized by Jesus, everything would disappear and they’d only be good. That’s really what death is.

Me: Wow. Mm.

Erik: You really are good. You’re not missing those other parts. They’re still with you, but they don’t play a big part of the song. You don’t lose any of yourself, but what comes forward is this overwhelming sense of perfection, being in the right place, being loved and you being able to FEEL it. Like, there’s not even the tiniest comment or remark about doubting what’s coming your way or if there was some string attached, or were they just trying to lure you and really it was Hell, you know. (He chuckles.) None of that. It just, it’s so much you don’t even weep about it. That’s when your family and your friends show up. When you notice you’re not alone.

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Elisa Medhus

  • Cindy

    I am hoping Erik will continue with the topic of what it is like to exist in ‘Afterlife’! I have read many varying explanations. Sylvia Brown describes it in detail. Is her description valid? Is the afterlife experienced based on our ‘human’ belief system? Is it a joyous reunion with our soul group? Is there ‘hell’? If you were a murderer or evil in the physical, do you feel the pain you instilled on others, ten fold. When does your suffering end in afterlife? Do we visit our loved ones in dream visits? Why do some experience this and others don’t? What is time like on the other side? Can you create and experience what you enjoyed in the physical realm? When and how do you prepare to come back to the physical world? I know dogs continue to exist in afterlife but what about insects, snakes, deer, etc? Is there any meaning to the ‘soul’? Are there different afterlife existence for those who exist in differ life forms on other ‘planets.? If every sun can create a solar system of planets where there is life, do our souls make a decision to experience an existence other places than earth. If we have a negative experience with a loved when on earth, do we forgive and find love together on the other side? I know I have rambled on and I could continue but I won’t. You can see how my mind is always in search of answers that will comfort me and bring me peace.

    • 403LEC

      I agree with M Leibs. This topic is SO hard to wrap your head around BUT Elisa’s first book is extremely helpful and her second book is a must.

      I swear, if it wasn’t for Elisa’s books and her blog I would NEVER have survived my oldest daughter’s death in January 2017…just about 9 months ago. She was found dead in another city from where I live and the police came to my door to tell me, on a Sunday afternoon.

      This spiritual information, from a trusted source (the blog…Elisa’s books….Jamie Butler etc) can give you more courage and confidence to handle almost any situation! I am living proof. I have shocked and surprised myself at how I have handled this. It has been a struggle but I am still alive and living my life and doing what I need to do.

      I recommend to anyone who is curious or interested in “what happens after we die”…to pursue it…pursue every avenue that you trust, and little by little it sinks in and makes sense!!!!

      Ok….thanks for letting me vent… to all 🙂

    • Yes, we can create any afterlife we want since thought creates reality. Have you read both my book and Erik’s? It gives a lot of detail.

  • Clara Jackson

    You do know that you are speaking to demons right? The only reason they are communicating is to bring more people in to this. The bible clearly states that the dead are dead and knowing nothing also remembering nothing. When King Saul sought a medium, the spirit ascended out of the earth, not coming down from heaven. The deceiving spirits lie to bring others in to what God has told us to stay away from. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord (Deuteronomy 18: 9-12).

    • Marts

      Is this great you source your information from a way that gives to you a sense of reasoning, you may like to think on, that this is your own prescribed joys, this is a reality you are choosing to be perfect for you, what you are putting out you are also receiving back.

      Others here have lifted to see much of the cultural norms society has placed down is the old paradigm, is the old energy systems…. for the most part mankind has been kept under control of this lower frequency purely from being kept away from accessing our own divine… all purposely so as to forget who we are and where we came from and why we are here…. giving away our worth and becoming docile and enslaved by a system of greed!

      And here we are receiving Erik’s shared knowledge, wisdom he brings forward to help with our many concerns, can now brought forward in truth…. Erik comes through high conscious energy, like radio waves, converted into thought form and expressed into language or word.

      I would like to give my many thanks to all the wonderful mediums and of course Elisa for gifting us with so much knowledge.

      We are all aspects of the divine source, prime source the divine creator or god, and being reminded and taught this through this very web.

    • That’s man oppressing the masses. They put that into the new Bible at the Council of Trent and took out reincarnation, too. You know, Jesus was a medium, himself and he’s no demon. Demons do harm. Erik has only helped people, even saved lives. Don’t let oppressors dupe you.

      • Lori Montgomery Gough

        Oh my gosh….do you know nothing of the history of the Bible? And Jesus was not a medium, He IS God. Demons will do whatever they have to do to do harm in the long run. The worse thing that can happen to us as humans is eternal separation from our God and Creator. These demons posing as your son are making sure you and everyone else who follows ‘Erik’ stay separated from God, putting all their trust in a false “spirit guide” in the guise of your son, a flawed 20-year-old human being, until their earthly death when they will meet the being behind ‘Erik,’ and it won’t be your son. Don’t let demons, the actual and ultimate oppressors dupe you any longer. Please end this now.

      • The Bible has changed dramatically and some of the things you mentioned were modified during the Council of Trent. To control the masses, they took out everything about reincarnation, mediumship and more. Check it out. And Jesus didn’t die on the cross. He lowered his vital signs to appear dead (something he learned from the Yedics in his journey) until someone could save him. Then he immigrated to France and lived a quiet life. That’s what Jesus told us in the interview and now, historians are discovering evidence of that. Check out these two links but google to find hundreds more links.

    • Lori Montgomery Gough

      Yes, absolutely! That’s what I’m trying to tell her too, under the “Erik on God” thread. Please drop all of this now. You are interacting with demons, not with your son.

  • Excellent post, Elisa. Erik’s insight helps me SO much in dealing with my husband’s death 2 years ago (cancer).

    Recently, I became convinced that he died so he could be with his mother, with whom he was very close. She died in 2011. I loved his mother, too, but I started thinking that she was more important to my husband than I and our kids were. I thought some kind of predetermined bond was broken when she died, and my husband couldn’t survive when that bond was broken.

    Finally, I contacted my trusty psychic, and she told me that my husband admitted he had spread himself too thin in this life, and did way more than he was capable, but suppressed the stress. He was always a risk-taker and overestimated his tolerance for risk and underestimated what life could and did throw at him. According to my psychic, my husband said I was always number 1, and how sorry he is that he left us as early as he did. He thinks I’m the Queen of the Universe.

    Wow. I don’t feel much like a queen of anything (except laundry), but, boy, am I glad he does. Blessings on all mediums!

    • I’m so glad it helped. I can’t remember what it said, though. I’m scared to read it again.

      • Biggest takeaway is that Erik said all the pieces that were missing in him on this side of the veil were not missing on the other side. He said he felt like he hadn’t felt in years.

        I’m so happy that our loved ones get to go to heaven and that heaven is wonderful.

        Anyway, you and Erik and your mediums do an amazing job for those of us who are suffering. Priceless, really. My heartfelt thanks.

  • RickD

    Thank you, Elisa, for sharing. Again. The most personal of channelings. You are one of the most remarkable woman I have known. We are all better for it. Namaste.

  • TeenWithWifi

    Ibought your book “My Life After Death” and I read it in one single sitting. It’s a beautiful work of art and it makes my fears of death evaporate completely, I have no more fears. I’m only 16 so I have a (hopefully) long life ahead of me but Death was always my biggest fear (aside from Spiders). But now… now after reading what Erik has said about the afterlife, I just feel happiness, joy. I’m looking forward to death (I know that sounds weird, but I don’t mean that in the sad way).

    Please pass my love and closest trust and friendship to Erik, dearest Elisa. I started going on nightly walks last night so I could start to lose my excess weight and I’d love to have him with me. The streets are a little spooky at night when nobody is around. I will always invite his company with open arms no matter the situation. Tell him he can prank me all he wants, send a million dragonflies and disgusting smells my way! haha

    Thank you, thank you for enlightening us Erik. I’m looking forward to meeting you (whenever that may be). I’ll try to communicate with you… somehow, I still need to wrap my head around that.

    I love you both, Erik and Elisa. Thank you for sharing your journeys with us all. You’ve made this socially awkward 16 year old Australian gaming nerd feel a lot more secure and safe. <3

    Love and More Love,
    Christopher Patrick

    • That’s my favorite book, too. I’m not bragging because Erik wrote it and I just transcribed. It really healed me!

      • TeenWithWifi

        It’s a masterpiece, it’s the best book I have ever read! (and I’m constantly reading all sorts of books!). He really knows how to describe things in perfect, crystal clear detail.

        I’m not going to lie, when I first found this blog two days ago I was insanely skeptic, but the more I read and noticed the continuity with the afterlife Erik was talking about and how in depth Erik is with his descriptions and detailing, I’m convinced that Jamie has a real, true gift with communication with the departed. She isn’t one of those mediums who will take your money and spout random crap at you, she’s the real deal. And Erik is a pure, kind soul for sharing what’s all waiting for us

        Once again, thank you for sharing your experiences and conversations, the afterlife sounds like a party that goes on forever, a candle that will never burn out, a disco that will never die and I for one am very excited to see what’s in store for me when I walk into the world to surpass all worlds

      • 🙂

  • We love you, too!

    • M Leibs

      Has Erik been known to share dragonflies? Oddly, one came and landed right by me on my front porch while I sat and did a crossword puzzle. I hope it was him.

  • Paulette

    Sending hugs. It is so touching, and insightful all at the same time, to see things through Erik’s side. Thank you all for sharing again. <3

  • Yannos Popoulos

    I just wanted to say to Elisa, with all the respect that is owed to a veiling mother, that the perspective of your son is very flawed, and you should not accept it in my own humble opinion. Suicide might have brought him relief, but it is not an option in the sense that he literally failed to understand and release his own demons. I’m a bit confused when reading the channelings sessions, because honestly you seem to accept the way your son view his own choice. I don’t mean to be judgmental, i totally understand that life can be very very tough sometimes but ultimately we make it so and we have to regain our power, not by killing ourselves but by reaching a higher understanding of life.
    Now i am going to read your book and maybe i will understand things better. But if i could ask a question to your son, it would be : ” if you could start your life all over again, would you consider yourself now to be able to reach balance and well-being, where you previously couldn’t?”

    I hope i wasn’t inappropriate, this is sensitive subject but i wanted to share my p.o.v.

    best regards

    • TeenWithWifi

      As someone who speaks with PTSD, Autism and Anxiety. When you have a mental illness there is no real logical thinking, when you’re at your lowest point you will do anything to climb back up to the surface, even ending your own life. It’s not that we don’t understand that we have our demons, in fact it’s the opposite, most of us have tried almost everything to get rid of them. In Eriks case suicide was the only option to release his demons but that varies from person to person, another example being that I have another way to release my demons that isn’t killing myself. but once again different methods vary with everyone. Eriks only solution that fully worked would have been suicide

      I totally get what you’re saying. But there’s more than meets the eye from an outside perspective.

      Also, If you’re looking for an in-depth answer to your questions and to help you understand better, I recommend reading both of Elisas books (My Son and the Afterlife first and then continuing to My Life After Death)

      • Yannos Popoulos

        I think the term mental illness is really inappropriate, because it suggests that the mind is infected, out of your control. Health is not black or white. Most of people are in the grey zone, some clearer, some darker. It is the same for the mind.
        If i might give you an advice, you should stop trying to “fight” or control your mental issues, because it will only make them stronger. the only thing you can do about it is to surrender, let them go, and you will see them gradually disappear. Don’t fight them, don’t feed them, let them be. It will work.

      • TeenWithWifi

        I genuinely wish it was that simple, Yannos

    • What else can I do but accept it? His was a rare case in that it was in the spiritual contract he designed for himself. In the spirit world, a death is a death. It’s just a form of transition. Unfortunately, religion has deemed it taboo, but this is only man oppressing man.

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