Erik Describes His Own Death, Part Four

My vision is slowly improving. Please forgive me if I haven’t attended to your comments and emails as I usually do. It’s still very difficult to read them. Next week, I’m having the surgery on my other eye, so both will be going through that blurry period at the same time, and my  current glasses, which at least now corrects my left eye, will be rendered useless. That means I’ll be even more visually impaired, so if you could keep emails, Facebook messages and comment questions directed to me at a minimum, I’d appreciate it. Patrick will be posting on the day of my surgery (Tuesday), and I’ll hopefully take over from Wednesday on.


Me: All right. We went backwards there. What were some of the adjustments you had to make when crossed over? What were some of the most, uh, I won’t say difficult. The most interesting. The most intense.

Erik: How to move.

Me: How to move! Yeah. “I cain’t feel my laigs!’

Jamie: He’s laughing.

Me: That’s from the movie, “Major Payne.” “That’s cuz they ain’t there!”

Jamie (laughing): I have no idea what you’re talking about, but he’s almost on the floor!

Me: Cuz we watched it all the time. It was with one of the Waylon brothers. It’s so funny. Erik loved it.

Jamie is still laughing.

Erik: Similar to that, but it’s just interesting. I’d say that’s the most urgent one that you come across.

Me: Mm hm.

Erik: You know, how to get from here to there. And it’s weird, because you keep moving and traveling, yet you can’t explain to yourself how you’re doing it. It’s like, “What’s happening. Oh shit, it’s happening!” You don’t know how.

Me: Was it scary?

Erik (chuckling): No. No, I wasn’t afraid, but I definitely wasn’t getting all the answers I needed ASAP, so that was weird.

Me: Was there some sort of guide who was there for you during your death, your life review or afterwards? Wasn’t there anybody to help you?

Erik (laughing): If there was, that dick must have been hiding behind the curtain, because I didn’t see anyone!

Me: Oh my god! That’s awful. How come? Was it because you didn’t ask for help?

Erik: Oh, I didn’t ask for help.

Typical guy. They won’t ask for directions.

Erik: And I think I just wanted to be alone.

Me: Do you think if you asked for help somebody would come?

Erik: Oh, yeah, with bells a‘ringing.

Me: Why did you want to be alone?

Erik: Cuz I wanted rest.

Me: Was part of it shame? Did you think you’d get in trouble for doing what you did?

Erik: Wow. That’s interesting.


Me: Like, “Uh oh. I’m busted. Don’t take me to Hell!”

Erik: No.

Me: Okay. That’s good.

Erik (amazed): Nah, I never felt like that! How cool is that?

Me: That’s awesome. So, you couldn’t move. Tell me about the whole learning experience of learning how to move.

Erik: Well, it’s like I consciously couldn’t make myself go, but if I thought about being somewhere, I’d end up there. It kept happening, but I couldn’t figure out how exactly it was happening.

Me: Could you see your arms and legs?


Me: Or were you just consciousness? Could you see your spirit body?

Erik: Yeah. That’s mostly what you see. You don’t see yourself like you were as a human.

Me: So, it wasn’t like you were seeing only your environment like you were just an awareness of self without a body?

Erik: Yeah, without a human body. I had an energetic shape, you know, as light, and I felt like myself. I knew my whereabouts. I know what happened. It’s not like I was thrown into some strange world without a map. I felt like I belonged and I was safe. I was never afraid, but it was just the smallest things like that that would fuck you in the head a little bit.

Me: But when you looked down, you could see your legs and your feet and all that? It wasn’t a human body, but you weren’t just like a ball of light?

Erik: Correct. Yeah, right. I had an energetic shape like my human body.

Me: And you could move? You could look at your hand and make a fist, move your legs and things like that?

Erik: Oh, yeah!

Me: So, it was more about moving from one place to another.

Erik: Yeah.

Me: So, you learned how to think of a place and be there?

Erik: Yeah.

Me: What were some other adjustments that you had to make when you crossed over?

Erik: Well, I was used to kind of arguing to myself in my head or having contradicting thoughts and emotions, but that shit just doesn’t happen. That was weird.

Me: Hm. What happens instead?

Erik (slightly frustrated): I don’t really know how to explain it. You just don’t have them. You couldn’t be angry and happy.

Me: So, more peace? No more conflict in your head?

Erik: Yes.

Me: How old were you when you had no conflict in your head?

Erik: I had moments of it, but never consistently.

Me: Well, I don’t think anybody has it consistently.

Erik: Really?

Me: Where they’re always, always, always at peace with no conflict in their head? Of course not.

Erik: C’mon. There’s gotta be people. Isn’t that what being happy is?

Me: One hundred percent of the time?

Jamie (to Erik): Yeah, Erik. There’s—

Me: C’mon! What if someone is super constipated, and they’re sitting there on the toilet, and they can’t pinch one off? That is NOT a happy situation!

Erik (chuckling): Yeah, but that’s a physical conflict.

Me: It doesn’t make any difference. It’s going to create some emotional conflict. Nobody is totally at peace all the time unless they’re the Dalai Lama.

Erik: You must have an issue with shit, Mom.

Me: Look at you and your scatological humor! I wouldn’t talk! Okay. Let’s move on. What are some other adjustments you had to make? Any others?

Erik: Those two are the main ones.


Be sure to sign up for Jamie’s phone reading next week on the 12th!



Dear Reader,

The journey on which you’re about to embark will take you through stories that are deeply personal and involves a relationship between a mother and her son.

As a physician raised by two atheists, I had no personal belief system about life after death. In a word, I was a confirmed skeptic. As my journey progressed, my mind opened. It is my sincerest hope that yours will open as well and that you will have a greater understanding of your own life and what’s to come ahead.

Although Erik sometimes paints a rosy picture of the afterlife, time and time again he stresses that suicide is not the answer to one’s problems. If you struggle, please understand that the information in my blog and my book is no substitute for professional help. Please click here for a list of resources for help when you find yourself considering taking your own life. Know that they are readily available when you feel that hopelessness and despair that many of us feel from time to time in our lives.

I refuse all donations and ad revenue on the blog. It is my dream to one day establish a nonprofit organization that delivers a variety of spiritual services for those who have lost loved ones to suicide and cannot afford that assistance on their own. It’s a mission of love, sacrifice, and dedication.

Love and light,


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Elisa Medhus

  • jasonatshapeofacloud

    I really liked these blog posts, There is something comforting in the simple way his basic experiences crossing over is presented.

    How Erik talks about spirit travel is also true for obe and astral travel. One of the thing my guides taught me is that you don’t visualize yourself in the journey from point A to point B, but rather you Visualize your starting point, and then you visualize ‘you’ at point B, and you materialize there. That’s because your subconscious auto-generates your surroundings as well as uses existing patterns of energy, and so if you start walking it’s really easy to get lost. A sure way to make sure you are in the right spot is to form an emotional attachment to an image or memory so that you can create a stable environment. That’s why a lot of Spirits will have a “home” for themselves, because it acts as a grounding anchor for them in an energetic world where physicality is so fluid. As far as the white light, grey light, dark tunnel, or cloudy field of visual perception goes… especially when it comes to obe/ astral/NDE and clairvoyance is that the brain is interpreting a dimensional buffer zone. It’s like the lobby to there here after so to speak. So for example, because my consciousness through this body can’t match Erik’s vibrational level, when I am in an altered state of consciousness I can communicate better with him, if I visualize myself in this buffer area. It’s like meeting him half way. I create a space for myself and visualize myself there and it’s easier to see those on the other side from that point of view rather than trying to “see them in heaven” or see them as they were, so to speak. So when a lot of NDE’ers talk about passing through this zone or tunnel, that’s what’s going on, their brain is filtering out what their consciousness is perceiving as is passes through a dimensional buffer. The brain, knowledge and belief system of the body can’t make heads or tails of it, so it pulls from it’s data something that would explain it. voila .. tunnel.. or clouds,… or empty room. etc. This sort of thing doesn’t happen much during a lucid dream or astral travel so much because -then the subconscious is mostly in-charge and is a lot stronger than the conscious mind as it doesn’t have the same filter constraints the brain has, or the incarnational consciousness plugged into the brain has. Most people are off traveling while their asleep. The reason they usually don’t recall their experiences is because their consciousness is nowhere near their brains. The closer you approach or the closer your consciousness energy is to your brain the more you remember, but also the weirder your dreams can be because the brain is trying to interpret your experiences. When you die, this all reverses itself. Your consciousness free of the body now has it’s full powers of perception back depending… and instead of a brain being your filter, your energetic emotional focus becomes your filter. There is no direct one to one analogy between physical perception and energetic perception. That’s why a lot of mediums when answering the question, “how do I communicate with my loved ones better”, they will say, remember a moment when you felt great love, and they will be with you. It’s really true. You don’t need to worry about what to say, or doing a certain thing, or way, you just need to remember the emotion. That’s where the connection is bridged. The modern brain has a hard time objectifying that and so it often balks and insists that there be a right way and wrong way or a procedure, a tool to interpret the communication. It’s especially hard when in our society we are taught that emotions are not as valid as words and physical experience. We are taught that anything we can not physically objectify is delusion or even broken. But in Spirit we are not limited by physical perception. All we need then is the emotion. Voila .. connection, movement, we are there. In spirit the weight of your subjective emotional experience defines objective reality, not the other way around.

  • cristina

    loved it 😛
    made me laugh 😛

  • Saif

    wasn’t this already posted?

  • Tiggg

    Hope your eyes improve Elisa, and good-luck with the second surgery. Will be sending you lots of loving healing energy your way 🙂
    I’ve really enjoyed this series hope there’s a part 5 and then 6 and then etc etc etc. Thanks all 🙂

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