Holy Shit

Just to prove he channels to other people, Erik handed me the polite punchline and the real one to a blog member; talk about synchronicity.

Good questions extract the best answers it seems, but what’s a good question? One where we like the answer, usually. The guarantee of good answers expired around these parts a long time ago, if it was even in force at the start.

 ST = substitute teacher and Erik

ST:          So Erik, is there sanctimonious stuff in Heaven? Holy shit, as shit might be?

Erik:     Hell no. [You just knew that was coming] There’s nothing more special about Earth or Heaven but if pushed to make a decision, I’d say Earth.

ST:         Why?

Erik:       Heaven’s automatic; Earth is by choice.

ST:         Does anybody come to Earth arbitrarily?

Erik:       Nope; it’s all by plan.

ST:    Is there really a waiting line and if so, who’s the doorman? Or doorwoman? Or doorpersons? Or doorcat?

Erik:      Agreement; there’s group that would like to be on Earth but waits for the right moment. The situations and circumstances need to be lined up for certain things, so they wait until that’s ideal for all people to be involved.

ST:        So what does a soul do while they’re waiting?

Erik:     The idea of waiting is a time idea. So we don’t wait like you think, we just do something else. That’s what happens on Earth, but this timeline thing makes you think you’re “killing time” because you’re waiting for the next step. That’s what it seems like, but here you see that you go someplace else and return when the intersection approaches, which fits what you want to do.

ST:       And the light turns green.

Erik:     Exactamundo.

ST:       How many souls come to Earth once and then blow it off?  Never come back, never want to?

Erik:     Not many and I don’t know ‘em, but it, like, has happened. Happens.

ST:       Why?

Erik:     They remembered too much of home.

ST:       Why doesn’t that happen more often?

Erik:     Souls who’ve been on Earth are really admired and looked up to…

ST:       …like you?

Erik:     ….well, yeah…but forget about me, I mean like the souls that do heavy combat….

ST:        I’d think you did, didn’t you?

Erik:     ….well, yeah, kinda….but I mean like many lives….

ST:        You didn’t?

Erik:      Well, yeah, I did but…….

ST:         So, you’re a big time life planning consultant?

Erik:      Yeah, kinda. Yes, a lot of what I did gets taken into account. So, like back to what I was saying…(musses his hair) the souls planning on coming for the first or one of the first few times, they can get in the body and start growing up and running into Dickheadville and Assholeburg and it gets uncomfortable like it’s supposed to, ‘cause the dicks and assholes all agreed to that, too. Then…….the box gets broken and the memory of home leaks in.

ST:        You said this happens very rarely.

Erik:     Yup, ‘cause when this soul gets home, it’s appreciated by many souls that it happened and so they take good steps to separate.

ST:       Does this end up with a life taken by the soul’s own decision or just a frustrated existence?

Erik:     Neither one, really. The frustrated existence is very beneficial, that frustration that wasn’t planned, that’s really valuable, too. Really valuable. The soul that has that and decides not to repeat is like that organized person who likes every detail mapped put and arranged and predicted and in its place and don’t move my friggin’ cheese and…and ….and….

ST:         People like that are reflecting their nature from before they came to Earth?

Erik:     Big time, and that’s cool, ‘cause some people plan that. But doin’ shit on the spur of the moment, and unplanned, that kinda stuff is the greatest, it really opens doors and shifts mirrors and bends perspectives in a good way. So this idea that life is planned to the second ain’t what goes on (I can barely understand him,….he’s chewing on something as he talks…….)

ST:        What are you eating?

Erik:      Pizza, extra cheese and pepperoni.

ST:        Keep going.

Erik:   So like I was sayin’, every life has its planned moments and those are set up with flexibility, margin for maneuvering, so no matter what you’re gonna want to do, you be able to adjust and meet that moment. In between, you get lots of opportunities to do stuff, and you do. That’s your free will.

ST:        So what do we do when we’re in a situation that seems endless, frustrated and without a solution?

Erik:     You get up and walk outside and go around and look at it from a different angle. You’ll see there are things you maybe didn’t see before, or you see ‘em in a new way and you either like ‘em better or hate ‘em worse, but you see ‘em different.

ST:        I’m thinking of members of Armed Forces that end their own lives, apparently from the trauma of the experience?

Erik:      Yeah, that always happened and it gets more attention, ‘cause it happens more often, the rate’s higher, and that’s a good example.

ST:        So ending wars would stop it?

Erik:      Yeah, but ending wars is dangerous.

ST:        That doesn’t sound logical. Aren’t the wars themselves dangerous?

Erik:    Yeah, but there are some really bad types that take the peace effort as to mean green light to kill even more people. And they do.

ST:        So how would somebody who feels boxed in see their way out of it?     

Erik:     Sometimes it’s gonna happen bad and that’s the plan and everybody who feels it should know that sometimes it wasn’t supposed to be avoided. What they all need to know is, that person is happier and content and there’s zero worries for ‘em. It’s all cool, the problems are Earth, so you control that. So feel bad but go for a long walk in the woods or on the beach or downtown or wherever you want and then do something stupid. Mix pretzels into a strawberry smoothie and drink a toast and the walk home, thinking of whoever left, ‘cause they’ll be right there with you.

ST:        Nobody’s gonna do that.

Erik:    Maybe they should; maybe everybody should unbutton all that fuckin’ uptightness and relax sometimes. I don’t mean take the dog to work and screw the pooch in front of everybody, but you could, but really, do something out of the ordinary.

ST:       What do we get out of it?

Erik:     Other people form their opinion just like you do, and just like you don’t consult ‘em when you do it, they don’t consult you, do they? (Erik imitates a TV reporter and there’s a microphone in his hand) “Excuse me sir, we’re going to evaluate your appearance, voice and content of opinion, do you agree to this analysis?” Imagine fuckin’ that?  So do what comes naturally and toss away the grade report others hand you with their facial expressions, glances, grunts or groans.

ST:       I think if a lot of people took this advice, there would be less conversation than now; a lot of people would just clam up.

Erik:    They clam up now!!! But we’ve all learned to regurgitate the two and three sentence answer that sounds pleasant but means, what? Open up, say what you think. Say it with love, mean well when you say it, no anger at anybody, no bitterness. Other people will appreciate it. Don’t let the very few who have learned to send evil rays of disapproval at you penetrate your love shield!

ST:       So, should I use regular gasoline or high octane?

Erik:     Use all the love you can fit in your tank, you can refill anytime you want.

ST:       Weren’t we supposed to get a celebrity here for an interview?

Erik:     That’s you, in the future, so yeah, we did.

ST:       No, I don’t think so Erik. I’m doing all the talking.

Erik:     You put yourself down too much, so stop it. I’m not saying brag, that ain’t the same thing, but inside yourself, don’t put yourself down. Dude.

ST:       All right, good advice, thank you. Now, you’ve haven’t told a joke; yet. (I mentioned it and now…..)

Erik:      Holy shit! That’s right.

ST:        I like how you gave the real punchline to a blog member.

Erik:      So everybody can see how they channel, and might not know it.

ST:        So what’s the joke?

Erik:    (Lights a long, smelly cigar….takes three or four big puffs as a flame shoots up from the lighted end)  Clean or clean?

ST:       Depends on what the meaning of “is” is, right?

Erik:     Two cannons go into a bar. One says to the other, “Shoot, I just got fired…”

ST:     Thank you Erik for the honor, support and everything you do for all of us. Keep on humping…

Erik:     All night long….

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