I had a great time with Michelle and her family and with Lukas at Nick’s uncle’s house in Port O’Connor. We set up chairs at the beach and hung out for hours, even striking up a conversation with a guy who was all alone after he came up to shake our hands and introduce himself. I felt a sad energy emanating from him, so I asked him to pull his chair into our circle. He proceeded to talk about his very difficult life as an ex-con, ex-heroin addict with 7 baby mamas and questionable prospects. He moved to Houston to take care of his diabetic, blind mother and, three months ago, witnessed his father putting a gun inside his mouth and pulling the trigger. He was in Port O’Connor to help a relative who is responsible for hosting a fishing tournament for Weekend Warriors.
We levied no judgment and talked about how our experiences, “good” or “bad,” are meant to help us evolve as souls and, in his case, if he finds the value in his hardships, wisdom will follow. After a couple of hours, his face turned somber and he said, “I really needed this at this time in my life.” I feel like we lifted him up a bit, possibly even staving off something self-destructive. He took a picture of his new friends and left with a smile on his face.
Enjoy today’s post!
Me: There we go!
Me: I don’t know what happened to Skype.
We had trouble connecting.
Me: But we’re on, and nothing else matters. It’s been a while. Hi, Kim! Happy New Year!
Kim: It has been. Happy New Year. How are you.
Me: Good. Happy New Year, Erik.
Erik (blowing kisses): What’s up, Mom?
Me: Well, it’s storming. We have some real Texas gullywashers going on, that’s what’s up. Bella is scared and sitting in my lap. Well, she always does that anyway. We have a few interesting topics to talk about today, Erik and Kim, and I think we’ll start out with one submitted by a blog member: Humiliation from being rejected. I think that’s one of people’s biggest fears, rejection—if not THE biggest fear. Being rejected brings loneliness and also points out that there’s something wrong with you. You’re flawed. So let’s talk about that, Erik.
Kim: Oh man, he’s putting huge energy on this, huge emphasis. When he makes it so big, this is his way of saying this is a big problems for a lot of people. A massive problem.
Kim: I’m going to scoot forward because I keep hitting my backdrop and it makes a funny noise.
Erik: Humiliation because of rejection comes from here.
He taps on his chest.
Kim: I’m just going to fly with it because he’s talking pretty quick.
Me: Slow down so she can repeat your words, Erik.
Erik: No, tell her to speed up!
Erik: When your personal—and I’ll break it down and teach you how to do this—when your personal self-acceptance at the core level can transcend anything material humiliation will be dissolved. Any humiliation through rejection will be dissolved. If you suffer from humiliation—Kim you can share some examples, if you want…
Kim: There have been quite a few. I had to work through rejection for a while.
Erik: When your self-love and self-acceptance can transcend that external need for validation, then you have it made. You have it figured out. You’re golden.
Kim: I’m trying to keep him in line, here. He keeps referring to a movie that was one of his favorites. He’s acting like the characters.
Me: The Outsiders. “Stay golden, Pony Boy.” It’s probably that. But yeah, Erik, you were rejected a lot. Oh, go ahead.
Erik: When you can shamelessly be yourself without the need for any kind of external validation, you’ll find peace, you’ll be peace, you’ll know peace. Remember that if you feel rejected or someone rejects you, it isn’t about you, anyways. If someone rejects you or something about you and feels the need to verbalize it to you, it’s something that they haven’t realized within themselves yet.
Kim listens for a bit.
Kim: Okay, man this is interesting how he’s showing it as he’s saying it, too. I’ll share this example with you. It’s in my book that will be coming out. I think it’s in the book. Back in grade school, when I was on the bus, I got picked on a lot for this little mole on my lip, and I remember this kid named Scott—I’ll never freaking forget it—said, “What’s on your lip,” and I said, “Well, my mom says it’s a beauty mark.” And he said, “It’s sure not working for you!” I was in third grade.
Kim: So I picked it off. I freaking picked it off. Disgusting, right? Well, it came right back, but I learned that I had to let it go. In the way that he was rejecting me, I had to let it go because this mole is here to stay.
Me: Mm hm.
Kim: So in that, though, I went through some counseling with my mom. She’s like, “Come here, sweetie. It’s okay.” I realized that me, and me accepting myself is where it’s at. He (Scott) can’t accept me because he can’t accept things in himself. This kid was extremely tall and lanky and much older than me, so why would he pick on me?
Erik: Another example, if someone has to make fun of someone for being overweight or because—
Kim: Okay, this is going to get much deeper.
Me: Brace yourself, people.
Kim: The vibration is going to get much higher.
Erik: If it’s skin color that you can’t get past or weight that you can’t get past, no matter what those differences are, if you are rejecting, you haven’t realized yourself in another. You haven’t realized your own divinity. When you realize your own personal power, your own divinity, you can see it in another, and that, Mom, dissolves and transmutes the need for rejection to exist altogether.
Me: Or judgment, period! You stop judging and become part of the Whole and you see others as part of the Whole.
Erik: Exactly, Mom. That’s what we need to help people shift what people are focusing on.
Kim: He keeps shifting his eyes.
Erik: We need to get them to realize that if you judge that person for being overweight, it’s because you haven’t accepted yourself and your image, yet. It’s something you need to work on. If you have to reject somebody because of their skin color, you should work on seeing yourself in that person because you’re that person, too. You’re no different. So, it’s a much more different capacity, Mom, to accept self, to get rid of and transmute rejection, which—
Kim: He wants to talk about humiliation, though.
Erik: That will transmute and sort of dissolve any type of humiliation.
Kim (smiling): This is where Erik becomes Erik and really becomes the essence of—he doesn’t hold back, and you guys know that.
Erik: When it comes to humiliation, you have to step up to the plate and own up to the fact that you’re holding onto it. Humiliation is an emotion. You don’t have to be a part of it if you choose not to. Whatever—
Kim: He wants to talk about the body for a minute, like the physical body.
Erik: Whatever way you’re suffering humiliation, remember we’re all human. We’re all the same. We all have bodies, and humiliation is only experienced when you choose to entertain it. I know this is a tall order, but you have to choose not to entertain it. This requires a deeper capacity to know yourself and to know that humiliation isn’t a part of you. It doesn’t have to be a part of you. It’s all because of your need or the ego’s need to react. That’s the only reason you experience humiliation.
Me: Yeah, hm.
Kim: He’s kind of like pulling his energy back, like I feel like I’m feeling separate. Over there is humiliation, and I can choose to be a part of that or I can just accept what is.
Me: Well, what are practical ways to avoid humiliation, a mantra we can say? A string of thoughts we can think?
Erik: Yeah, there are a couple of mantras and thoughts, however you think about it, “I accept what is,” and—
Kim: This is a really powerful mantra that he wants you guys to think about.
Erik: “I love all levels of consciousness.” If somebody’s targeting you, lower levels of consciousness will host humiliation. That’s okay. You can’t reject that humiliation. You have to love it instead. That’s how you don’t become a victim of it. You love it instead of becoming it.
Kim: “I love all levels of consciousness.” He keeps repeating that.
Erik: That will help to transmute, to dissolve—
Kim: He’s showing it dissolve away.
Me: Good, so “I accept what is” and “I love all levels of consciousness.”
Erik: Yeah because if you think about it, Mom, the different levels of consciousness provide us with polarity through which rejection finds its way in. If you can love different levels of consciousness no matter where you are in your consciousness, you don’t become a victim of the collateral effects of that consciousness.
Me: Yeah, well love is a position of—I won’t say “power” in the ego sense—but it’s not a place of victimhood. It’s a place of power because you’re wielding something powerful, love.
Erik: Yeah, it’s a state of being able to see all and understand all and accept all possibilities, too, you know, with all these different levels of consciousness: The possibility of that being humiliation, the possibility of that being despair, grief, whatever, but being able to love all of these different levels for where they are.
Erik: And not becoming a victim of it. As soon as you have to employ that and subject yourself to that, that’s when you guys need to step up to the plate and own your own behavior and how you react. If you react as a victim, you’ll be humiliated. You’ll experience humiliation.
Kim (chuckling): He’s rambling.
Erik: All kinds of crazy shit can happen in your life, but if you choose to react and think, “Oh my god, I’m so humiliated” or “I can’t believe I was rejected like that! That’s bullshit.” Remember that you’re experiencing it because you choose to.
Me: Okay, Anything else before we close because Kim, I want you to talk to us about the name of your book and when it’ll be out. It’ll probably be out around the same time this YouTube will be out. But anything else before we do that, Erik?
Kim: He’s just showing himself hitting a home run.
Me: I think he just did, and the bases were loaded!
Kim (chuckling): He’s proud of himself.
Me: You should be proud, Erik!
The rest of the recording is subpar, but the book is: Inside Out: A Journey to Inner Peace, and it’ll be available everywhere books are sold this Spring.