Kate Sitka graciously channeled this guest post despite the fact that her mother just passed away. She’s headed home to lend support to her father. I’m reaching out to all of you to send her and her entire family love and prayers. Thank you.

Errrriiiiiicccckkkk!!!!!!

This is the very first piece I wrote in my new home. I am thrilled and delighted, and so, so grateful. We had some amazing friends and wonderful spirit people looking out for us to help us get into this equivalent of a rent-controlled loft in Manhattan. One of my favourite features is that I finally have a separate office space for readings, writing and general spirit shenanigans.

Here’s what just happened: I have my first phone session in this new space coming up, and even though I *knew* it didn’t start until 11 am, I found myself upstairs and all set up at 9:45, realising I’m all in medium mode and the reading doesn’t start for an hour.

Guess who’s here?

Erik: Kate, you’re very open to suggestion in the morning. When your girl wants something, she should ask you on a Sunday morning. You’ll say yes to ANYTHING before 10 am on Sundays!

Kate: Now everyone knows my weakness!

Erik: Yes, but only *I* can take advantage of you – MOOUAHAHAHAHA! (evil laugh)

Kate: That actually gave me shivers, well done.

Erik: Gotta getcha all primed for your readings – You know that Erik juice charges ya up like nothing else!

Kate: So, last time we were talking about how assholes need love too. Do you want to keep talking about that or is there something else?

Erik: Okay, so, Kate, here’s the thing: you know I love you, but DAMN you’re a slow-mover sometimes. There is no fucking time to waste here. Are you in?

Totally, I’m in.

Alright then. Let’s save the world.

I read that thing with Sid Vicious where he’s all like, “If you see someone on the street asking for five bucks, just give it to them.” And that’s an energy drain – there are so many great people who are POURING their energy AND MONEY down drains. YES there is unlimited resources. YES, your spirit people have your fucking back, BUT – like is fucking hard. I don’t need to prove that to anyone. When one person decides that every time life gets hard, they’re gonna put that on to other people, what they end up doing is tossing all the help they get right back out the window. They just can’t hang on to it.

It’s like how most people who win the lottery end up dirt poor again in just a few years. They’re flushing, flushing, flushing (toilet sound effect – sounds like it’s backing up, too. Gross.) – all that energy down the toilet, because it doesn’t match with them. It makes them feel uncomfortable. They’re ALLERGIC to that kind of help, which is so fucked up, because they’re only screwing themselves, but they don’t know how to fix themselves.

So here’s the thing to focus on for all you do-gooders, all you CE Peeps who are out to save the fucking world:

You save the world one person at a time, by proving to them love exists.

Okay, I wasn’t sure that’s what Erik said at first, so I he repeated it a few times, here’s the imagery he gave around it:

Woman in a warm coat on the street giving $20 to a man on the street living out of his car with a german shepherd, asking for gas money to drive to the next town where there’s work. (This happened.)

He contrasts this with a parent giving a daughter money every time she runs short of cash, a pattern that continues until she is in her 40s. Erik shows the money crisis for this person escalates over 20 years, rather than stabilizes.

Erik says, Kate, I know you’re a hippy-dippy love ‘em all liberal, and I’m gonna say some shit you won’t like.

I’m just not a fan of government programs that act like the rich parent. Hand-out programs.

Kate: It always surprises me whenever anyone on the other side gets political.

Erik: Here’s what I see in the energy exchange of the “hand out” dynamic: The girl with the parent who keeps handing out money (shows me her energy – it’s full of uncertainty self-doubt, it’s rewarded and reinforced habits of putting off financial problems and planning because a crisis triggers the handout mechanism.) She can’t really be happy, she spends half her life feeling insecure; her security isn’t herself, or even knowing that she can handle shit if she needs to throw down. Her strategy becomes finding other people with resources. She becomes this energy toilet, and she always feels (anxious, low, sad). Those emotions, that energy pattern that’s reflected BY the emotions is what perpetuates the cycle. Shitty feelings = shitty choices = crisis = bail out = shitty feelings.

So I’m fucking serious about this. Handouts are bad for people.

Kate: Erik is having three conversations with me at the same time, when he says “handouts” he’s also showing me subsidized housing, which I’m actually a big fan of, having worked with a housing co-op in Toronto. So we’re having a mini-argument in the background about this while I was typing the above explaination.

Erik, what about housing subsidization? Do you have an issue with? Here I am in my new house, and it feels so expansve. We have quiet; we have stability, I get incredible, restorative rest here. I can perform better in my life. I can be a more productive person because my housing is so greatly improved. I can actually be of better service to others –

Erik: I have to call you on that phrase, girl, which I know isn’t your “service to others.” You hippy peace freak, no one’s here to “serve” others, we’re here to spead the love, man. (He presents with a huge blonde puffy mess of hair held back with an embroidered head band, purple tight-at-the-butt courdouy pants, a bare chest with a vest. This is apparently parodying a TV show I haven’t seem, with psychedelic posters or wall paper in the background.)

Kate: Can you explain the difference?

Erik: Because people aren’t happy “serving others”. Using that phrase justifies doing something that drains your energy, see? AHHHH HA! She gets it now! (knocks on my head, gives me a whiff of what smells like old spice deodorant.)

Kate: Why do teenagers always like that deodorant?

Erik: BECAUSE IT’s SEXEH, MON! (He’s become the Jamaican Old Spice man. I don’t know if there’s a Jamaican version of that commercial, but that’s the accent Erik’s going with here.)

Kate: Yeah, I can barely resist you.

Erik: That’s what I’m talkin’ about. Anyway, try to control yourself so we can finish this piece, okay there hotshot?

So the main thing I want to talk about with the CE Peeps is to get you guys to look at HOW the philanthropy in your life makes you *feel*. When you give, how is it happening, what is the energy and the pattern of the person / people you’re giving to, and how does the process make YOU feel?

‘Cause we don’t save the world, one person at a time, through martyrdom MOM. Mom needs this reminder once in a while. She loves to do shit for other people. She actually knows this, we’ve had this talk before, but it’s a habit. Self-sacrifice is a nasty, draining habit that can just leave you drained and depressed. So you gotta do the giving that creates the positive feedback loop.

Like back to the housing co-op you love so much, let me show you something:

Kate: I’ll just quickly explain to people what the structure was, and I immediately see Erik’s point. There was a housing complex in Toronto that was in good section of a sketchy neighbourhood. The co-op was run by renting a certain number of units to the general public at “market rate” which was actually a few hundred dollars less than what you’d likely pay for such a unit. These units paid for the rent subsidization of the other units, providing stable, sane housing for people who need some support.

Personally, I really like this model. What Erik is showing me is how there are a number of people in the housing co-op who are giving SO MUCH energy to keep the place going. TONS of volunteer work when it should be a paid administrative position. He also shows me certain members of the co-op who are a constant drain on the resources.

Kate, all I’m sayin’ is you can only save the world one person at a time, and we get into trouble with these giant systems and with sayings like “be of service”. Do you want me to randomly pick a page in history that shows how these systems get corrupted – that’s how you get COMMUNISM, Kate!

(“Communism” had three layers – one layer was a joking exaggeration, one was “it’s a slippery slope, you start by taking an inch”, the third was a jibe calling all Canadian socialists, inserting some more politics into a spiritual conversation about saving the world.)

OKAY: So when we’re working for others, we’ve got to look at the energy feedback loop, and also look at how the energy works for the other person. Is our help lifting them up, helping them build something? Is help perpetuating a problem?

Oh, hey, I have a question: What if you have someone in your life who is struggling, maybe with an addiction or self-esteem issues and they’re spiralling down? Can you help someone? I know we’ve discussed tough love before…

Erik: Yeah, perfect, that’s my point. You LOVE them through it, through what they have to go through. Sometimes, that’s cutting someone off financially, but helping to point them towards resources for them to help themselves.

That’s awesome, thank you again, E.