Before we start, I would like to share the fact that around 4:00 AM, I woke up to smell a freshly lit cigarette. No one in my family smokes, but Erik used to LOVE it. In fact, he would sometime roll his own to save money. As a doctor, I would plead with him to stop. Imagine the irony. But on occasion I’d tell him I loved the smell of a cigarette right after it was lit. It reminded me of the times my grandparents came to visit. We loved them so much, that just before they left, my sisters and I would sneak into the back seat of their car, hoping to be smuggled all the way to their home in Baytown, Texas. Our little scheme never worked, but, since my childhood home was a smoke-free zone, my grandparents would be deep in the throes of nicotine fits by the end of the day, so the second they got into the car, they’d light up, then turn around and give us that “gotcha” smile. So we’d at least enjoy the smell, and now, I associate that olfactory memory with their love.
Not only that, this morning, my husband recounted his second-ever lucid dream with Erik. They were in a room he didn’t recognize, and the two of them engaged in conversation that mostly involved teasing and joking. When my husband reached over to touch Erik on his flank to see if he was some sort of holographic projection, he was stunned to find that his son was as solid as ever.
Michelle also had a lucid dream this weekend. Or perhaps she astral traveled; I’m not sure. She found herself in a beautiful green meadow in front of modest stone cottage. Over the door was a sign, “Erik’s House,” with letters that were tipping in different directions as though it were a font you’d choose for a child’s nursery. She opened the door and there was Erik and a girl she didn’t recognize. Erik was thrilled to see her and they hugged, laughed and had a wonderful time. Michelle was amazed by how vivid the colors were there and by how her thoughts created reality so quickly. A sneak peek into Heaven, perhaps?
And now, after digressing long enough, let’s talk about today’s topic, Love vs. Fear. While I was channeling Erik on my walk, he asked me to share an exercise for any or all of you to try. Take sheet of paper and divide it into two columns, one labeled fear and the other labeled love.
In the fear column, list as many those emotions that are based on fear that you can come up with: anger, shame, guilt, greed, jealousy, shyness, worry, overwhelm, panic, loneliness, paranoia, pessimism, stubbornness, arrogance, condescension, superiority, racism, envy, disgust, anxiety, depression, worthlessness, disappointment, contempt, remorse, frustration, confusion, annoyance, impatience, revenge, indifference, suspicion, gluttony, apathy, embarrassment, doubt, agitation, abandonment, aggravation, despair, resentment, insecurity, discouragement, rage, resignation, laziness, selfishness, obsession, denial, competitiveness, lack of faith, negativity, dread, intimidation, self-pity, rejection, unwillingness, judgement, apathy, uncaring, manipulation, and in some cases, grief. For me, grief belongs in both columns, because you have the fear of being without whatever you’ve lost, but you also have the love of what you’ve lost.
In the love column, list as many emotions that you think are love-based: awe, hope, joy, comfort, relief, power, determination, compassion, enthusiasm, respect, loyalty, satisfaction, pride (not false pride), playfulness, humor, empathy, sympathy, certainty, stability, courage, generosity, peacefulness, surprise, optimism, inspiration, confidence, cheerfulness, relaxation, interest, fascination, gratitude, nurturance, contentment, happiness, acceptance, strength, caring, understanding, acceptance, patience, unity, humility, clam, kindness, openness, honesty, sharing, faith, trust, inner strength, forgiveness, positivity, self-love, beauty, harmony, longing, arousal, and much more.
Erik wants you to make your own list, of course. Then circle those fear based words that most affect you, and think about all the various instances in your life, past or present, where they apply or have applied. If you want, you can think about those instances first, then build the love/fear list based on those.
Now, choose how you can replace that fear emotion with one from the love column. For instance, if you feel angry at someone who has hurt your feelings (this is Erik’s example, by the way,) then you can choose to project kindness to that person. You can choose to forgive him or her. I do this by envisioning myself sending pink light to that person’s heart and watching in my mind’s eye as their facial expression transforms from scowl to loving smile.
It also helps to say this affirmation daily: “I have abundance in all things that honor my highest purpose.” That pretty much covers it all: love, joy, opportunities, wealth, etc.
If you need more convincing on how important it is to choose LOVE over FEAR, read this from http://www.squidoo.com/transformingfearintolove
How do fear-based emotions affect our life?
Fear-based emotions create a limitation, a tightness, an inward pulling feelings (shrink you).
Fear-based emotions push the world away.
Fear-based emotions invite isolation.
Fear-based emotions create heaviness in you.
Fear-based emotions create a life full of pain and frustration.
Fear-based emotions disconnect us from our true self.
How do love-based emotions affect our life?
Love-based emotions create bodily sensations of openness (expand you).
Love-based emotions invite the world in.
Love-based emotions invite unity.
Love-based emotions make the body and soul feel relaxed.
Love-based emotions create lightness in you.
Love-based emotions = living in abundance.
Love-based emotions connect us with our true self.
So remember, when you know you’re grappling with a fear-based emotion, seek a love-based one to replace it. When you’re at a fork in the road, choose the path of love over the path of fear. It takes practice, but, after all, that’s what we’re here for. We are meant to BECOME unconditional Love…One Day.