Loving Others and Ourselves

Phew, I’ve been getting hundreds of Ask Erik submissions from you guys, and most of them are so creative and thought-provoking. Most of the time, I don’t reply. I just add each submission to the rest of the accepted ones. I will tell you when you send one to me that doesn’t really fit the “qualifications.” Almost all of them have. 

I also want to thank you for supporting Erik and me and our efforts by purchasing the book, eBook, or audiobook. It means a lot to us to know that all of this hard work and expense is allowing something wonderful to unfold. If you haven’t bought the book yet, please do, even if only to pass it along to someone in need. Perhaps someone you care about has recently lost someone. Maybe someone you know is clinging to life. Maybe a stranger sitting by you on the subway looks lost. You’ll know, in your heart, who needs help, whether it’s you or someone else. Here’s where to buy MY SON AND THE AFTERLIFE.

Jamie: Erik says, “Hi.” He’s very animated. This is just the morning!

Me: I know! The day is young! All right, Erik, we’re going to talk about some pretty heavy subjects here. First, how can we learn to love others?

Erik: How can we learn to love ourselves? You have to be able to give to yourself to give to others. That’s the general rule. It doesn’t fit every single time cuz, remember, when we’re talking about emotions—

(Long pause)

Jamie (snickering): He’s getting frustrated. He can’t find the word he wants.

Erik: You know, it’s spiritual stuff, but it’s not defined as spiritual stuff, like faith and all that shit. When we look at that, we can only speak of it loosely and in general because not everybody’s story is going to fit. That’s why sometimes it absolutely sucks to follow this path because, for some humans, it’s just so simple to be told, “Sit like this; eat like this; do like this, and it’ll get this outcome.” But, hell, that’s not why we dove back into bodies and fell to Earth, is it?

Jamie: Hm. He makes it sound like such a ride.

Me: And it is.

More like having the e-ticket in Disneyland.

Erik: When you look at loving yourself—

(Long pause)

Jamie: I told him maybe he could just tell us the top three things in general that would work well, and he said, “Okay.”

Erik: Compassion. Definitely compassion, and compassion isn’t that bullshit thing people do so they get a reward or something back. Compassion is just something that instantaneously comes. You give it, and it’s to make you or the whole, whatever’s around you, better.

(Long pause)

Jamie: He’s rambling. He’s talking about the natural instinct in kids that, even as babies—babies like, um, six months, eight months. They’re sitting up and all chubby. (Jamie chuckles.) I love babies!

Me: Me too!

Well, I did have five of them. Little did I know they’d eventually become teenagers. There were times I wondered why I didn’t just get five kittens instead.

Jamie: He told me that even they get happy and satisfied when they see someone do something good for someone else.

Erik: It’s an innate response, and it’s not just in the human race. It’s in all living creatures, even trees and plants. We just don’t (Pause here as Jamie hesitates and smiles) slow down enough to be able to see it.

Me (chuckling): He just dropped the f-bomb, and you circumvented it! I know! I can tell!

Jamie laughs and claps her hands together, blushing.

Jamie (still blushing): I gotta quit that pause. Maybe I can fool you. Okay, so (she composes herself and continues.)

Erik: So, compassion is one of the ways that we can learn to love ourselves. Now, the second one I think is the most important for anyone: Just be with what you have. That doesn’t rob you from setting goals; it doesn’t rob you from wanting change or shifts or dreams. Be with what you have. It makes you be in the Now. Most—

Jamie (looking puzzled): He said, “Most living creatures,” and I was like, ‘So that goes beyond humans?’ And he said, “Yes.”

Erik: It includes the animal kingdom, the plant kingdom. We have to prepare for what’s to come whether it’s weather or relationship issues or financial goals. That’s all well and good, but when it comes to emotional qualities, you have to stay with what you have. You can’t stand on what’s coming in three days. You can’t even touch it because it’s not there! You have to be in what you have. I can’t stress that enough. It’s a huge part. And I think, if we’re speaking in general, the next one would be respect. And I—

Jamie: He’s pausing.

Erik: I think it’s fucked up when a lot of people will redefine or mis-define respect, and they’ll use it in a vengeful way. Like let’s say one of their buddies got hurt by this other guy. Then they’re going to “respect” their buddy by hurting that guy. That’s not how it works. When I’m talking about the term “respect,” I mean it in a way that supports the best in a situation, the best emotional outcome. Not the right, not the wrong. I’m talking about just the best, and you know you have the best when you have no regret and no doubt, right? You just feel like you’re totally rooted. Then when someone asks you how you feel, you can say you’re totally happy and that you wished there was a better word for it, and when people ask you, “What drug are you on?” you say, “Life, man. Life.”

Jamie cracks up.

Me: That’s so sappy, but it’s true!

He gets that from me.

Erik: I’ll be working for Hallmark next week.

Me (giggling): Oh, god. Anything else?

Erik: Nope. That’s what I have to say about self-love.

By the way, I plan on getting a lot more details on this very important subject in the upcoming sessions I’m using for the book. These won’t ever be published on the blog. Until I’m finished getting everything I need for the book, there’s a chance that I might need to cut down the posts to three days a week if it looks like I’m running out of material to post. I doubt that will be necessary, but I just want to keep you in the loop about book #2!


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Elisa Medhus

  • MikeHulse

    This is so apt for this.

  • MikeHulse

    This is all around today lol

    • Kari Silver Lining Mena

      mikey, have you read the afterlife of billy fingers? elisa, i bought my kid some origami paper at barnes & noble (the woodlands!!) and while browsing for myself, i took all the copies of your book and pulled them out and turned them forward on the shelf, hee. maybe it’ll get THAT ONE person’s attention…<3


        I love it! I’m going to do the same thing.

  • Jackie Taylor

    I love this, I love his all knowing truthfulness. Thank you Erik, you are so comforting, you truly give me hope. Thank you Elisa for continuing to share his beautiful messages. Xo

  • Jeanette DiPasquale

    Feeling very happy and tearful reading this. Thank you all Peace!

  • Jaime Baxter

    i did a session on self love with a cam client yesterday! thanks erik! i was going to make a vid about it for the group and everything i was going to say fit into his situation – i’ll be making it soon and will post in fb <3

  • cyndi wilkins

    Love the one you’re with….

  • Lelabelle

    I love this one and especially the part about “Compassion”…thank you Elisa.

  • Nate

    I couldn’t prepare even if I tried! Life makes you live in the present whether you want to or not!

  • Jacqueline Orszulak

    Thanks Jamie. Elise. And Erik. I cherish all your words of wisdom. Follower jackie

  • Matt 5 8

    Love is the relationship between the Creator-God and Creature-human. The vibration of God is purity and love at its maximum. Remove the term ‘God’ which many people are averse to hear and you have something sentient that exists with maximum purity and love. This sentience also exists in each human and its in our heart. This love, purity and the enjoyment of this love and purity as Bliss within our heart to a constantly increasing perfected degree can be summed up as experiencing God or finding God or being one with God.
    If you can feel this bliss in your heart and use it as the only source of your ‘fun’ through practice of maximum purity and service (love in action, going out from you, giving away love) you will get back Love and feel joyful. Then self love, loving others, loving everything will all be natural choice or state for you


    Putting yourself in someone’s shoes just for a moment. No judgement.

  • Good girl!!!

    • Kari Silver Lining Mena

      and again today. i just got a job nearby and that’s my go-to place after work. if sales increase drastically for this location, i will have to ask for a kickback.

  • You’re right in line with what Erik says!

    • Matt 5 8

      Yes, Erik and I are both saying channeled knowledge from none other than the Source. If it feels right in your heart, its the Source speaking and the Source hearing.

  • Nancy Antia

    Great post. Thank you so much, Elisa!

  • Jacqueline Orszulak

    I reread many of the posts. Just remember per erik…we need to have compassion to be in what we have, and to respect!!!!

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