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Now for the post on mental illness!
Me: Now, What can one do about social anxiety and what is the lesson behind that?
Erik: Social anxiety sucks!
Me: I know! You had a little bit of that, Erik.
Erik: And I fucking hated it. You know, if I really loved the topic of a conversation or why everybody was together in a group I really didn’t feel it as much, but if I didn’t approve or didn’t like the topic as much or why the group was together, man, the sweating, and I couldn’t find single person or object or eyeball to focus on. My eyes were just constantly scanning on something that would make me feel comfortable. And then to figure out how to fucking get out of this without looking like I was panicking.
Me: Yeah. Oh, Baby. That’s so true. You always had your eyes downcast. It’s like you looked mad or aloof when you felt uncomfortable around people, especially around girls. You just didn’t know what to do.
Erik: That’s why marijuana helped.
Me: Yeah, I know it helped you a lot. Okay, so what do you do beside smoke a joint?
Erik: You choose not to put yourself in those circumstances.
Me: What? So you just resign yourself to a life as a recluse?
Erik: Well, you can enjoy being a hermit, too. There’s social networking.
Me: I know, but what if you’re lonely, and you want to have contact with other people?
Erik: Now, that’s a totally different story, Mom. For the people who have social anxiety, the freedom of knowing they can just stay home and enjoy it is an awesome answer. It’s giving them all the power in the world. Now if they really want to have a friend and get over their social anxiety, I would do one of the following things are some or all of them in a combination: First, I would find a counselor or a life coach and go into a therapy group, because social anxiety is about not allowing yourself to be honest or vulnerable in a public arena. So, doing group therapy, whether it’s 4 people or 16 people—you can decide that with your therapist—you need to get in with your therapist and learn how to talk about yourself, how do you view yourself. You have to have that practice. Then, I would read up on that—
Jamie (to Erik): You love that book, and I haven’t read it.
Erik: –that nonviolent communication book.
Jamie: I’m two chapters into it. It’s absolutely amazing.
Erik: You’re on page 16, Jamie.
Jamie: If I get home and see that I’m on page 16, I’m going to laugh so hard. I haven’t had time to read it in a long time, so we’ll see!
Erik: So, I would read a book like that so you can learn your vocabulary, and when you master your vocabulary, you master conversation, and that gives you the grace to get into the conversation without confrontation, without that shitty kind of guilt and that scared thing you get.
Me: Yeah. Good.
Jamie (giggling): Shitty kind of guilt and scared thing you get!
Erik: It’s real, Jamie!
Jamie: I bet it is.
Erik: Now, the third thing that I would do is this: I would connect only—I would set a boundary for myself, a rule, a law—a law of the land—that I will only do the things that make me happy. You know, you start following that—and you notice that yourself, Mom. When you make a few changes in your life that create more joy, it makes you more successful. And when you’re more successful, you gain more confidence, and then pretty soon, you’re taking action six months ago would have been a huge ass risk. But to do it now just seems like the most natural thing to do.
Me: Yeah.
Erik: That’s how it should be when you’re coming out of that social anxiety. It shouldn’t feel like this big ass challenge sitting on your face kind of a thing.
Me: What about social networking with people who have the same kind of problem so you can go out in public to brave the world together?
Erik: Yeah, but only if it’s not online.
Me: No, not online. I’m talking about meeting people who have the same fears so you can develop confidence together. It’s horrible to have social anxiety and hook up with somebody who doesn’t, but it helps if there are two of you braving the party or whatever together.
Erik: Yeah, that’s totally fine.
Me (talking rapidly): What’s behind Dissociative Identity Disorder or Multiple Personality Disorder? I’m talking about from a spiritual perspective.
Erik (talking slowly): Hi, Mom. I love you!
Me: Aw! Hi Baby! I love you, too. I said hello at the start of the session, so I hope you heard!
Jamie: He’s just kind of slowing it to his pace, I guess.
Me: Oh! Okay. I guess I was speaking at warp speed!
Erik: Okay, if we’re just looking at it from a spiritual standpoint, it’s—
Jamie (to Erik): Okay; now it’s your turn to slow down. Back up; back up.
(Pause)
Jamie: He’s showing me an image of someone who’s at the beach but is unable to get out into the water.
Me: Oh, so that’s like not being able to get back into the body?
Erik: Well, it’s being able to call yourself human but not really being able to experience it at all. Chemically, it can be created, kinda like tears in the brain, tears in the fibers that keep order or consistency within the brain.
Me: Are you talking about energy fibers or actual physical fibers?
Erik: Actual physical ones, so it reroutes energy so no matter how hard you struggle to keep one voice or personality in your head, it will always just flake apart.
Me: So, you dissociate from the body, but what about the multiple personality component?
Erik: That’s just fucked up. It’s really hard. What happens—I’m just speaking energetically—when—
Jamie (to Erik): Is that for everybody? (Pause) How do you describe that?
(Pause)
Erik: Some people are so disassociated from their body that they’re capable of latching on to full-on entities. So, other entities will invite themselves to come in and share.
Me: Oh, that makes sense!
Erik: Yeah, and in a way, it’s like channeling—having a timeshare in the body.
Jamie: Oh god, Erik!
Me (laughing): Oh, how funny!
Erik: The body’s boundaries and energy defenses are so weak that you can’t just set it up to say no. It has to be under heavy guidance. But that’s just with some. In general, with most of them it’s a kid’s imagination gone wild where they actually create a change in their own voice and personality, because they don’t feel safe having and experiencing their own. It’s the same way how some people will act shy until they have a drink in them. The drink is the excuse.
Me: Interesting! Okay, now Erik, of course you know you had bipolar disorder. Can you tell me the spiritual basis of the highs and lows of that disease?
Erik: Well, the manic spells were fucking awesome. That’s when you’re most connected to Source. It’s like you’re more aware of that connection, too, even if only on a subconscious soul level. When that happens, when that connection is wide open and rooted, you’re more euphoric and creative. All I can say is, looking back, it’s really a spiritual experience.
Me: What about the lows?
Erik: Well get this. You’ve been connected to Source like that for a week, a month. Then you disconnect. That feels fucking terrible, so of course you get depressed. It’s like being a kid in a toy store or a candy store where he can get anything he want, then he gets yanked out and put in a Turkish prison.
Me: Oh, that does sound miserable.
Erik: But being able to connect to Source is something a lot of people can’t or don’t know how to do so it’s more common in spirits who are more evolved.
Me: You da man, Erik. I get that you’re very evolved and getting so more and more. Still, the disease was your undoing.
Erik: Well, first of all, I don’t think it’s a disease. How could being connected to Source be a disease? It’s just pulling away that sucks. So, I’d say it’s a disease only in the framework of society. Society doesn’t know what to do with people who connect with spirit, so they stuff ‘em full of pills.
Me: Yeah, they really didn’t always work for you. I wish they had.
Erik: Think of it this way, Mom. I’m connected to Source all the time. I’m euphoric 24/7.
Me: I’m glad, Baby. Now is that the case in all people with Bipolar Disorder?
Erik: I’ll say it’s the case in most of them. Not all, but most.
Please share this with anyone you know with a mental illness or a friend or family member who does.
