OCD and Expectations

To all of you who have lost loved ones, I’ve been thinking about you during the holidays. Even after four years, I look at the empty chair at our Thanksgiving table with a heavy heart. I find it hard to choke back the tears, but because this is a day of gratitude and no one wants it to be tainted with sobs, I do. It’s difficult to weigh the losses with the joys of having a loving family, my CE peeps, good health, and other blessings, but a balance must and can be reached. We still have holidays approaching, and I hope we can all wrap our arms around the joys and realize that, in the end, our loved ones are not really gone. They’ll be tossing back their own celestial glass of spiked eggnog along with us. 


Me: Some think it’s becoming easier to speak with those in the afterlife.

Erik: Yeah, that’s not because we’re getting bigger and better. We have the same equivalent knowledge, you know, inter-dimensional travel, all of that. Humans are finally getting back to the norm. We’ve had lights out for a long time.

Me: Yeah, well, material science and organized religion put us off the path a little bit.

Erik: Yeah, it took away your natural instinct for intuitive abilities.

Me: Is there anything we can do to facilitate that dialog?

Erik: That dialog with the afterlife?

Me: Yeah.

Erik: Yes. If you wanna facilitate it, you need to look at yourself as being an instrument.

Me: Okay.

Erik: And how do you fine-tune your instrument? The biggest fucking drum I can hit is don’t have any fucking beliefs. Don’t have an expectation that God’s voice is going to sound like booming lightening, you know.

Me: Really!

Erik: Because it might sound like a six year-old girl. Expectations will ruin your experience, and you find it true in life as well. For some people, for example, they have an expectation that something has to reach a certain timeframe. Humanly things that we do is we create an expectation so that if we achieve it, we’ll feel safe or we feel productive, like we’re in control. And if you feel the need to be in control—


Jamie (to Erik): I don’t understand that.

Erik: If you’re feeling the need to be in control, then you’re not understanding wholly that you are a part of a whole.

Me: Hmm. Interesting.

Erik: If you have this desire that you have to be in control—I’m not talking about fucking cleaning your house. That’s great. You OCD away. .

I wish he had OCDed a little bit when he was here. His room always looked like it was the place where a documentary on F-5 tornados might be filmed.

Erik: I’m not talking about being in control of the external world. That’s when you’ve fully signed on to the concept that you’re an individual and you’re apart from everything else and you must just be a badass because you have that special ability—to control the external world. That’s a crock of shit. You need to fine tune that instrument and realize you’re a part of a whole.

Me: Exactly. It’s hard not to have expectations. That’s like telling someone, “Don’t think of a pink elephant.”

Erik (in a monotone voice): PINK ELEPHANT.

Jamie and I laugh.

Jamie: He’s just repeating it.

Probably just trying to make me think only of a pink elephant for the next couple of hours. Great. Thanks, Erik.

Erik: You can spend a helluva lot of time talking about how to fine tune your instrument. There are so many people who really desire and want to communicate with the afterlife, but they don’t realize that their need can often snuff out the experience, you know, like we said, because of the expectations and because of the emotional quality of those expectations. Let’s, you know, if you were on a swing like one of those tree swings, and you’re swinging really high like a pendulum, and then somebody from the ground asked you, “Which way is the wind blowing?”

Me: Ah!

Erik: What are you going to fucking say? When you’re going one way, you’re going to say, “Against my back!” Then when you’re going the other way, you’re going to say, “No, it’s hitting my face! No, it’s hitting my back!”

Me: Great analogy! I like that.

Erik: You don’t have any awareness of really what it is. You have to—

Jamie: That was so brilliant, Erik!

Me: I know!

Erik: You have to get your tree swing to get centered and to get calm. You can’t be in total grief. You can’t even be in total joy. I’m not saying one is right and one is wrong. I’m saying you gotta get neutral. You gotta say on the fence. And then when it’s still and the person asks you, “Which way is the wind blowing?” you can say, “Oh, there is no wind now,” or “The wind is blowing east to west. So the way you position yourself can influence what you’re experiencing. People want to get at the truth, and to get to the truth you’ve gotta be a clear, free-flowing instrument.”

Me: That is so brilliant, Erik.

Jamie: I know! I want to give that a freaking standing ovation! Wow.

Me: Anything else about that?

Erik: No, they’ll get that. They’ll understand that, because it comes with a visual. You can talk about feeding yourself the good energy or the energy that your body needs. Just like the food your body needs, you gotta take care of it. Why do people think they can destroy themselves or ignore themselves and let themselves get sick but yet they think they have the right to experience everything, all of this. It’s like, “Really? You can’t walk the talk.

Me: Yup, but it’s pretty hard.

Erik: One of the most important things you have to do is shut off the logical part of your brain. Depend on the emotional, intuitive part to get centered. You can’t just go on with, “Am I doing this right? Am I talking to the afterlife?” and shit like that, letting your analytical mind take over is not going to let you get centered. You’re going to swing from one side to the other and not have any point of reference for which way the wind is blowing.


Tomorrow at 9:00 AM CST I’ll be appearing on Great Day Houston, a TV show hosted by the very talented and beautiful Debra Duncan. If you live in Houston, please tune into KHOU TV.

On December 5th, 12:00 PM CST, I’ll be a guest on the Jean Maurie Show. I hope you can join me! Please THIS on your calendar!

There’s one more spot for Jamie and Erik’s small group channeling call. If you want to talk to a loved one or ask questions about your life, please sign up HERE!

Last but not least, the “Best Orb Photo/Video” contest ends soon, so please submit your entry. The winner will get an autographed copy of my book, My Son and the Afterlife.

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Elisa Medhus

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  • Radiochick

    I finished reading the book. Fantastic! It’s a beautiful extension of this blog. I already purchased a few extra copies for my friends for Christmas! Thank you, Elisa, Erik and Jamie for your commitment to the blog and the videos!

  • Todd Ford

    “His room always looked like it was the place where a documentary on F-5 tornados might be filmed.” LOL

    • Iola Regnier Gomez

      so did Andy’s. it was always an adventure stepping inside. Loved the analogy! and the book was awesome!

  • ilSuperGattoNero


  • S Clark

    this was a really great read elisa– perfect timing for me ! thankyou !!

  • Patrick De Haan

    The swing on the tree example is…..brilliant.
    Since I was a little boy, the wind blew for me and it took decades before realization came. Was it social training that kept understanding away? I don’t know for sure; probably.
    Who remembers learning to speak their native language yet anybody who speaks, did. Consider the time and effort involved and we don’t even remember!
    What other things are learned the process not remembered? For me, quite a few beliefs I’m eternally grateful to Erik Medhus I got over.
    Thank you, Doctor Elisa!

  • Angela

    Great post Elisa! Finished reading your book within two days,
    a bit of OCD when it comes to books mind you! I am grateful that certain synchronicities
    that appear in my life recently have served me well; I can only say that once we allow
    ourselves to become OPEN to receive with “love” and not “fear” then we will
    experience a profound balance that will enable us to share this with those that
    need all the love and support we can offer during tough times having this human

    I love Erik’s analogy! In essence: letting go all personal expectations
    is a vital key to experiencing eventual contact with our loved ones. It is really that

  • Rachel Brown

    I’m working on this…trying to let go of my scientific, there’s-a-rational-explanation-and-if-there-isn’t-one, there-will-be-eventually driven mind, in an effort to receive vibes from my father, in an effort to just feel better about EVERYTHING – I’m so freaked out by the prospect of life after death (er, my personal lack of belief in one, rather), but all of it scares the shit out of me; I don’t believe in ghosts, but they still scare me, lol…

    I’m either setting myself up to be taken advantage of by frauds and charlatans, or I’m in for the shock of my life; either way, I AM working on opening up (I’m even employing my MMJ at night – some research I’ve turned up is that even mild psychedelics can help one lower their guard) and being open to receiving whatever’s out there.

    • cristina

      this a quote from Tesla
      “If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.”

      Nikola Tesla

      AND everything Erik says on this blog doesn’t disagree with it 😉

      I can give you more proofs that all genius that ever existed on this earth were aware not only of spirit world (which is the tip of the iceberg) but of some amazing truths like the one Tesla is trying to tell us in the quote
      Once you are clear that spirits exist (which apparently you are, because you are afraid of them) it will open the door to the TRUE SCIENCE 🙂

      here are other quotes
      “The day science begins to study non-physical phenomena, it will make more progress in one decade than in all the previous centuries of its existence.”
      ― Nikola Tesla

      “What we now want is closer contact and better understanding between individuals and communities all over the earth, and the elimination of egoism and pride which is always prone to plunge the world into primeval barbarism and strife… Peace can only come as a natural consequence of universal enlightenment…”
      ― Nikola Tesla

      and final one – which actually talks about channeling information
      “My brain is only a receiver, in the Universe there is a core from which we obtain knowledge, strength and inspiration. I have not penetrated into the secrets of this core, but I know that it exists.”
      ― Nikola Tesla

  • Ann

    How do i send a picture for orb/energy picture?

  • Stacey

    “You have to get your tree swing to get centered and to get calm.”
    Luv it Erik!

  • Tiggg

    Brilliant Erik, simply brilliant. 🙂

  • Rakel

    Specially love this post. Thank you Erik, Jamie and Elisa. It’s light and so profound at the same time… As Erik is! Much love to you three.

  • cristina

    loved the intro Elisa <3 Big hugs to you 🙂
    Even now , re-reading it gave me goosebumps "They’ll be tossing back their own celestial glass of spiked eggnog along with us. "

    Excellent explanation Erik with tree and wind, now I am sure this is what i was doing wrong 🙂

    You guys are my fav trio – even on a hell-day, one of you will make me laugh for sure 😛

  • 🙂 love u

  • Thanks!

  • He loves you too!

  • Email me at emedhus@gmail.com.

  • Maybe I can post an explanation on why it’s all believable.

    • Rachel Brown

      S’il vous plait!
      Skeptics aren’t bad or disillusioned people; we just can’t grasp certain concepts without the right terminology =)
      (I recently just found a name for my own weird ‘sixth sense’ – Empath/Intuit – and I STILL don’t feel it’s anything but a hyperactive sense of intuition or a hyper awareness)
      My father died the year your son died…8 months later, my mom’s best friend passed under the near-exact circumstances…we’ve waited, concentrated, begged, and have yet to receive anything – thats scary for a borderline-atheist; four years of NOTHING but silence just drives the ‘theres no afterlife’ thought home…BUT, I’ve been doing a lot of research – that’s what led me to this blog; there was a wonderful article you posted, ‘Science Confirms Life After Death’ – and I’m now certain I need to explore some options before I call it quits.

      I’m going to be conducting my own experiments…simple things from guided meditation to slightly more extreme (I mentioned psychedelics earlier; I will be safe), and keeping detailed journals during the process…

  • Well said, Angela!

  • Hallie Shera

    Love his analogies – they do make it easier to understand his message. Thank you so very much, Elisa, for sharing with us. My respect and admiration for you and Erik is huge.

  • Mike in Vegas

    Elisa….what if a person doesn’t have beliefs or expectations about what they should be experiencing, and they don’t need to be in control of things…but they still are not centered …
    What about people whose lifestyles include drinking alcohol or smoking a little weed now and then….are THOSE the type of things Erik means when he says people are destroying themselves or ignoring themselves? If not, what types of things is he referring to?
    This is my first post, but I’ve read virtually every entry and comment since the beginning. All my love and support for how you and Erik are helping people “lift the veil”.

    • Wow, that’s a lot of think about. Some people do all the right things but are still not centered or grounded. Sometimes this means they’re not truly from Earth and that their main place is another planet. That would give you the feeling of not belonging. Erik talks a lot about weed. he doesn’t think it’s bad nor is alcohol in moderation. By destroying oneself I guess he means not showing respect, not honoring the welfare of your mind, spirit, body and emotions. Same with ignoring oneself. You can talk to Erik yourself through one of Jamie’s conference calls to find out what it is in your case specifically, I guess.

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