My son died by suicide Dec,26/13. He is my only child and like any other mom, the love of my life. While Michael was here in the physical, he always called me a voodoo nut because of my spiritual belief. I have always read life after death books, medium books as I was fascinated with the other side. I myself had an NDE as a child, hence my fascination with beyond the veil.
I recall a time shortly before my sons departure myself, mom and my aunt were packing to fly to Ottawa to see Theresa Caputo. My son says , “where are you going”? Needless to say when I informed him of our “trip” he said, “you are all crazy believing in that shit! Why don’t you give me your money and I’ll tell you your fortune.”
You see whenever I went through any form of challenge, I would always depend on spiritual literature to help guide me through. My son, Michael, never believed in anything of the sort. He believed once you die, lights out and that’s it, the end.
Michael was 26 when he died from a self inflicted gun shot to his right temple. He had just received a scholarship, was very athletic and outgoing. Well loved by many. He had so very much to live for yet Michael was suffering in silence. Mental Health illness, I feel, has a bigger stigma inside of health facilities, even more so that outside. I feel he didn’t have enough trust to receive the help he needed, therefore my beautiful son suffered in silence.
Sorry to ramble on…I just wanted to give a little background…….. So …. I’ve always loved to read. 3 years prior to his death, Michael gave me a $200 gift card for Chapters. I used it once and misplaced it. I had totally forgotten about it.
2 weeks after his funeral, I was in shock , devastated, there are no words to describe my nightmare other than the WORST possible thing a mother could EVER experience. My family and friends were extremely concerned for me as all I wanted to do was just be with my baby. My friend suggested we go to chapters to get a few books to occupy my mind. I refused to go as I couldn’t even leave my bed , let alone leave my house.
The next day something propelled me to get out of bed and clean out my closet ( as I use to be an organize freak). I was going through my clothes I no longer wanted as well as purses. I was cleaning out one purse I hadn’t used in a very long time and came across the Chapters Card I had misplaced. I called out to my husband crying , asking him to call and see if it was still valid. It was not only valid, but had a little over $100 remaining on the card. I felt this was a gift from Michael and he was telling me to go to Chapters with my friend.
2 hrs later myself and my friend were driving around the parking lot looking for a place to park. It was busier than Christmas Eve , I began to panic and was second guessing this outing when a parking space directly in front of the store became available. I knew Michael was guiding me, so I proceeded to go in. The store was blocked with people. We inched our way down to the spiritual section that held approximately 1000 books. All books were stacked flat so the titles weren’t visible…..all books that is, but one. The one book that was stood up face out amongst all others was none other than “My Son and The Afterlife”. I began to shake as I took the book off the shelf to read the back caption which to my shock described my sons death to a tee. Both Michael and Erik shot themselves as well as both of our sons were found in their bedroom. That was just the beginning, the similarities throughtout the book, Erik’s personality, his potty mouth reminded so very much of Michael. I have absolutely NO doubt in my mind both Erik and Michael teamed up to guide me to Elisa’s book, in turn guiding me to Channeling Erik blog. That blog has become my extended family where I can grieve without having to apologize or explain myself. It has given me hope and strength to put one foot in front of the other. I know for a fact the courage , love, strength and devotion Elisa and Erik put into this book has saved my life thus far . I love them both for all that they have done and continue to do. I truly admire and appreciate Elisa’s selflessness to help others despite her immense pain.
From the very core of my soul , I love you Elisa and Erik! Thank you so very much! Xo
We love you, too. Very much. (Elisa and Erik)