How my Spirit Son Introduced me to Erik

My son died by suicide Dec,26/13. He is my only child and like any other mom, the love of my life. While Michael was here in the physical, he always called me a voodoo nut because of my spiritual belief. I have always read life after death books, medium books as I was fascinated with the other side. I myself had an NDE as a child, hence my fascination with beyond the veil.

I recall a time shortly before my sons departure myself, mom and my aunt were packing to fly to Ottawa to see Theresa Caputo. My son says , “where are you going”? Needless to say when I informed him of our “trip” he said, “you are all crazy believing in that shit! Why don’t you give me your money and I’ll tell you your fortune.”

You see whenever I went through any form of challenge, I would always depend on spiritual literature to help guide me through. My son, Michael, never believed in anything of the sort. He believed once you die, lights out and that’s it, the end.

Michael was 26 when he died from a self inflicted gun shot to his right temple. He had just received a scholarship, was very athletic and outgoing. Well loved by many. He had so very much to live for yet Michael was suffering in silence. Mental Health illness, I feel, has a bigger stigma inside of health facilities, even more so that outside. I feel he didn’t have enough trust to receive the help he needed, therefore my beautiful son suffered in silence.

Sorry to ramble on…I just wanted to give a little background…….. So …. I’ve always loved to read. 3 years prior to his death, Michael gave me a $200 gift card for Chapters. I used it once and misplaced it. I had totally forgotten about it.

2 weeks after his funeral, I was in shock , devastated, there are no words to describe my nightmare other than the WORST possible thing a mother could EVER experience. My family and friends were extremely concerned for me as all I wanted to do was just be with my baby. My friend suggested we go to chapters to get a few books to occupy my mind. I refused to go as I couldn’t even leave my bed , let alone leave my house.

The next day something propelled me to get out of bed and clean out my closet ( as I use to be an organize freak). I was going through my clothes I no longer wanted as well as purses. I was cleaning out one purse I hadn’t used in a very long time and came across the Chapters Card I had misplaced. I called out to my husband crying , asking him to call and see if it was still valid. It was not only valid, but had a little over $100 remaining on the card. I felt this was a gift from Michael and he was telling me to go to Chapters with my friend.

2 hrs later myself and my friend were driving around the parking lot looking for a place to park. It was busier than Christmas Eve , I began to panic and was second guessing this outing when a parking space directly in front of the store became available. I knew Michael was guiding me, so I proceeded to go in. The store was blocked with people. We inched our way down to the spiritual section that held approximately 1000 books. All books were stacked flat so the titles weren’t visible…..all books that is, but one. The one book that was stood up face out amongst all others was none other than “My Son and The Afterlife”. I began to shake as I took the book off the shelf to read the back caption which to my shock described my sons death to a tee. Both Michael and Erik shot themselves as well as both of our sons were found in their bedroom. That was just the beginning, the similarities throughtout the book, Erik’s personality, his potty mouth reminded so very much of Michael. I have absolutely NO doubt in my mind both Erik and Michael teamed up to guide me to Elisa’s book, in turn guiding me to Channeling Erik blog. That blog has become my extended family where I can grieve without having to apologize or explain myself. It has given me hope and strength to put one foot in front of the other. I know for a fact the courage , love, strength and devotion Elisa and Erik put into this book has saved my life thus far . I love them both for all that they have done and continue to do. I truly admire and appreciate Elisa’s selflessness to help others despite her immense pain.

From the very core of my soul , I love you Elisa and Erik! Thank you so very much! Xo

We love you, too. Very much. (Elisa and Erik)

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  • Jean

    Your post moved me to tears. I am so glad you found Erik – that Erik found you. I send you much love dear soul.

  • maxine

    A beautiful story. I can’t begin to wonder how you must feel. Thanks elisa and Erik. Between you both you have helped so many

  • Tiffany_E

    It moved me to tears, as well. I’m so glad you found the group/blog and wanted to say thank you for sharing. Spread the word so we can welcome other curious minds and grieving souls to our safe place. 🙂

  • This was an absolutely awe-inspiring post of love. I am so blown away by your courage and am thrilled that you were guided here by your son, Michael, and Erik in the ways that you were. I have not lost a child, nor do I even know what it’s like to be a mother, but I can understand just by being someone’s daughter what this pain must be like to endure. I wish you all the best and hope that today is a little more brighter than the last. ❤️

  • Dajavoo

    Your post gave me goose bumps and moved me to tears! May God and the ‘spirit’ of your son continue to give you strength and comfort~

  • Adie0510

    I recognized your references to Chapters as being Canadian (plus the reference to Ottawa, obviously!) I’m Canadian too, living in the US. I’m so sorry for your loss. As the mother of two young daughters I often imagine the pain I would feel in losing them and I am in awe of moms who lose their kids and manage to put one foot in front of the other every day. You are already a super-hero! I’m so glad you found this blog, and Elisa’s books, and I pray they bring you solace. I am in the early stages of my “spiritual awakening” but the things I read here really ring true to me in my heart. All the best to you my fellow Canuck 😉

  • reesenewman

    Wow, that was moving and powerful. So glad you found a family here, like the rest of us. God bless you.

  • Sandra L. Harper

    yes it also moved me to tears, bless your heart >3

  • Lynn

    Oh my goodness, thank you for sharing such a bittersweet story. I love that Erik and Michael brought you here <3

  • Mika

    This is so beautiful. CE is changing lives. 🙂

  • mike m

    What a powerful, remarkable post. You and your son are an inspiration. Like most of us, you’ve discovered that this blog is life changing and has, quite literally, saved peoples’ lives. You need a hug!

  • Emma

    Thank you so much for sharing your story, you are incredibly brave and strong, be proud of yourself and your son xxx

  • Michelle Buchheit-Schill

    My story is similar and my son also introduced to me Erik. My son, also 26, died by suicide four months after your son (he chose a different method though). I love to read and am always at the library. After my son crossed over I checked out every book about grief from the library. Somehow Erik’s book was in the stack and here I am now.

    • I’m glad you’re here.

      • Michelle Buchheit-Schill

        Thanks, Elisa! So am I. This life has been terribly difficult (still trying to figure out why I chose it) and this has by far been the worse thing I have been through but this blog certainly helps me cope.

  • Marie Klaszky

    I am so so so sorry for your loss. It’s amazing to me how Erik gets around. No such thing as coincidence – HUGS and love being sent your way

  • KAren Swain

    OMG I Can’t stop crying!!… This is post sooooo beautiful and a perfect reminder that no matter what, we are LOVED, and though our circumstances may seem dire and tragic….. ALL IS WELL Thank you, I love your blooger tribe Elisa. You are truly Blessed ks xx

  • Jen

    Wow. My birthday is 12/26. That’s hard to hear that while I was celebrating, someone else was so low that they left. My heart goes out to Michael and his family. It just pushes me more to get into psychology to help good people like Michael.

  • cristina

    So beautiful <3

  • Wallace Brown

    For any parent to bury their child. And under such tragic circumstances too. Whew. My heart pours out to you for writing such a heart-wrenching (yet beautiful) story. Over here in the UK so many young lives too are being snatched by way of suicide. I sometimes wonder if on some etheric soul level they know something the rest of us don’t and so are choosing to “opt out”.

  • Carolyn Thayer Bailey

    Your story gave me goose bumps. I love the way you were guided by your son and Erik to the bookstore. My heart goes out to you!

  • Maryann Potter

    That was a beautiful story. I too have a son in heaven. He died at birth. July 1, 1977. It is so wonderful to get hugs from people that are suffering or going through the same pain. God Bless you in your journey I pray he will continue to lead you to people that make a difference in your life.

  • Kari Silver Lining Mena

    BEAUTIFUL! My whole body is tingly, my eyes wet with tears. ♡♡♡♡

  • Michelle M.

    you so very much for sharing your story. I too lost my son, David, to suicide.
    He was 15. I had been in search of answers and healing and had gone into the
    spirituality isle at Chapters and asked David for some guidance. I reached out
    and grabbed the first book that I gravitated towards and it was Elisa’s book.
    Her and Eric’s story and subsequent blogs have helped me beyond measure and I am
    ever so grateful that David helped me to find it. Warmest thanks.

  • Laura Burnett

    How Wonderful Is that Story. Thank you for sharing. Made me Tear up for happiness that you Found the book. So Happy for you and your Son Michael. Erik is So Awesome.

    • jackie taylor

      Thank you !

  • Great site. Well done. Everyone take a look!

    • LeFerna Arnold Walch

      Going back and reading these heart-wrenching stories makes me wonder why you and I are so blessed to hear and talk to our sons. They still communicate and comfort us, but not all of them come forward. I have learned so much from this website, since Destin has me on fast-motion to learn all I can and get him out there to everyone. MIchael’s mother is much more educated in all of this than I am. Does Michael ever come forward and talk to her like Erik and Destin do with us? I feel very selfish all of a sudden.


  • Dorrinda

    My heart cries with you. I have also lost my son and always felt alone on this journey. I don’t feel alone anymore. May you find peace

  • Lala

    Wow your post totally moved me, im so sorry for the loss of your son, I hope Erik and Jamie can give you the same comfort that I have received in watching them, I have lost 5 babies and it fills my heart to know they are safe and loved as I know your son is 🙂 thank you for sharing your story x

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