The Best of Erik: Love and Joy

Me: Can you talk about the importance of forgiveness and the best way to forgive? I love that blog members ask these thought provoking questions. They have the courage to dig in really deep.

Erik: The best way to forgive.

Jamie: Erik’s giving a visual along with what he’s saying.

Erik: The best way to forgive is to let go of the responsibility for holding the answer that you feel is correct. Just let go.

Me: Oh! Hmm! (Such witty repartee. Sigh.)

Jamie: He’s showing me a pair of scissors and two people talking, and one person has the expectations or the needs or the value or the boundary, you know? And the other person is doing whatever the hell they want. And the one person with the boundaries is getting really upset, trying to make amends for the relationship, wants to salvage what’s there.

Erik: Yeah, and the best way to begin is by severing the ties of your expectations, you needs—

Me: Yeah, letting go. It’s tough sometimes.


Me: Oh, okay, here’s a very short and trivial one: What are the basic principles of life, and what are the best ways to enjoy life?

We all laugh.

Me: In three words or less.

Jamie (laughing): Erik’s laughing SO hard!

Erik: You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!

Jamie: Three words or less?

Me: No! I’m just kidding! I was being sarcastic!

Jamie sighs.

Jamie: All right, all right. He wants you to pose the question to him again.

Me: What are the basic principles of life, and what is the best way to enjoy life?

Jamie (giggling): He wants to talk about the basic principles first, and as you’re asking the question, he’s pretending like he has a jacket on and a tie.

Me: Uh huh.

Jamie: You know, stiffening up like he’s a real professional.

Me: Ooo!

Jamie giggles.

Erik: The basic principles to life. Number one. Number one, I would put Love. That is the basic principle.

Me: Oh, yeah, of course.

Erik: And with Love comes the understanding that there’s a common ground between you and every relationship you have. That means you and the relationship you have with your shoes, you and your relationship with a tree, you and your relationship with the sky, you and your relationship with your spouse—there’s a love and it goes through all those things. The second one I would lay down is that YOU are in control. You’re in control. If you’re not fucking happy, make yourself happy. If you don’t like something, get the hell out or change it.

Me: Yeah.

Erik: It boggles my mind that people want to resign and give away their power, because some asshole two thousand years ago made this concept or idea to follow, but you might not fit it. You. Are. In. Control.

Jamie and I chuckle.

Erik: Okay. Number three. Um, maybe I shouldn’t word it this way, but I think it fits because of the understanding of the human race right now.

Me: Uh huh.

Erik: Energy is viable. Energy is real. It’s alive. It can heal you; it can destroy you, and I believe once we start understanding the depths of what it CAN do, and even at a distance, that’s when life is REALLY gonna change.

Me: Wow. That’s good.

Erik: So, there ya go. There’s your three. Not three words, maybe, but…

Jamie (giggling): He’s pretending to fix his tie again; he’s just messing with his hair!

Me: I can just see him. Uh, so what is the best way to enjoy life? I think it’s probably just to find joy in everything, right?

Erik: Well, ya gotta remember that the person asking this is very analytical. When you analyze things, you create a distance between you and what you’re looking at.

Me: Oh, yeah!

Erik: And so it’s “how do you FEEL joy or find joy” is really letting go of how you view yourself in a situation. Get your eyes back into your head, because a lot of these people kind of look at themselves from the outside view. Some of them with tell themselves, “I bet you look stupid” or “You shouldn’t do that” or “Do this instead.” Well, drop the inner voice. Drop that inner voice. Bring your eyeballs into your head and look out from behind them. That’s when you’re gonna start feeling things and that’s when you’re gonna start saying, “Oh my god, I’m actually happy. This actually feels good.”

Jamie: Oh, and I love it. He’s giving me kind of a tingly, joyful little feeling!

Me: Awww!

Jamie: I can feel it right up under my collarbone, and it’s coming up into my neck!

Me: Oh, awesome. Or maybe he tightened his tie too tight!

Jamie laughs.

Me: No, I guess people just need to not “know” that there is joy out there but just “feel” it. We tend to do too much thinking and not enough feeling.

Erik: Yes! And that’s why these questions come up. Society has to look at it, label it, write it down. Oh, you know that exercise that they do in marriage counseling, “Write down the ten things you like about your spouse. Now write down the ten things you don’t like about them.” That’s fine and dandy as long as you burn that shit afterwards. You keep looking at it and then show your spouse, then you’re expecting a very business quality, logically styled relationship. And where is the joy gonna be in that?

Me: Seriously!

Erik: On the bottom of your show like dog shit.

Me: Oh my god!

Have a great weekend, Peeps! 

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Elisa Medhus

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