The Death of Children

A lot of us have lost children, and, as I can attest, the pain is especially excruciating. To make matters worse, the healing seems to take longer than when we lose other family members or friends–not always, but generally. As for my journey through grief, this blog and especially the upcoming book has done a lot to heal me. In fact, I can now report that I don’t grieve over Erik’s death as much as miss him. I know he’s not gone. His body is. It feels like he’s off to some work-study program abroad. Actually, I guess he is. It’s just in another dimension. Plus he’s making all As in my opinion. I hope this post about children and their deaths helps some of you. 

Me: Today we’re going to talk about a very tender subject and that’s children. I love children, and a lot of people ask what’s it like for children to be spirits? Hi, Erik.

Erik: Hi, Mama. I love you.

Me: I love you, too. Hi Jamie.

Jamie: Hi.

Me: So tell us as much as you can about it.

Erik: Can I be included in being a child?

Me (in a very sappy tone): Yeah, you’ll always be my baby.

Erik: But I know what you’re talking about, Mom. You mean like under the age of, what, 15?

Me: Yeah, maybe even younger than that. Let’s say ten and below.

Erik: Ten and below.

Me: Before they get to that annoying stage.

Erik (laughing): The double digits age.

Me: Yeah.

Erik: So what do you want to know? If we’re talking about children’s struggles and deaths and processes like that, it’s so much easier for them than it is from 15 up.

Me: Why? Why is that?

Erik: Because they’re still connected to The Beyond. They still understand that there is a safety or some kind of security, a place for them to go and belong to. Mostly in these ages—and I’m going to talk in general because—

(Pause)

Jamie: I don’t have any idea what he just said. It was a little mumbled.

Me: He mumbles sometimes.

Erik: In general, the way our culture is in America, it used to be that every child belonged to a religion and, from a young age, they learned what that religion was. They had a language for it. They knew that certain belief structure or system. Nowadays, not every child is taking that path. Most of them aren’t. That leaves them completely open to stay attached to the things they could remember before they came into this life and even stay attached to those memories up until the ages of 6 or 7. I’m picking those ages because that’s when they get into the public school system—

Me: And become indoctrinated.

Erik: Yeah. They get taught linear time, that one thing is based on another and so forth, and they start to let go of what they carried in and what they knew naturally belonged to them. They then start to believe that they’re inferior, that there’s an authority figure and that they need to report to someone. External pleasing becomes more important than internal pleasing. Before this age, during illness and pain, they don’t ask, “Why me?” They just don’t have that desire to understand. They just know that’s their body and this is what’s happening. They might need to understand the disease and the process of what’s occurring, but in the death process, there’s no fear built into it yet. They just see it as a part of something that they’re going to do.

Jamie: He’s talking about documented cases of children with diseases who have transitioned, and it’s stated that the child would still be caring for everybody else around him, even the doctors, the nurses, the parents, letting them know that everything is okay with them.

Erik: They show this amazing amount of strength and calm. But it’s not that weird for them to find that strength and perseverance. As adults, that’s what we’re taught is required to get through those times. Really, they’re just showing acceptance. That’s all it is. They just have it innately. I’m not saying this is just for those who aren’t trained in religious beliefs. That’s not true. I’m talking about anyone in any belief system up until about 6 or 7. Then when you get above that like ten, you’re going to get more of those, “Why me? Why is this happening to me? Why can’t they fix it?” They’ve already been in the system, and we’re training them to think they’re independent, in control and if they’re hurting, it’s because of something that they did. They didn’t please someone; they didn’t do something right, so they get this sense of a loss of control.

Me: What’s it like for them when they cross over? They probably don’t have any kind of belief system to create their own afterlife.

Erik: No, but most of them know what a party is!

Me: Ah! Par-tay!

Erik: And that’s normally what happens. The party.

Me: Aw.

Erik: If they have a disease, and they’re going in and out [of their body] they will have already had dreams and connections with loved ones in other dimensional planes. They’ll have that awareness. The same thing goes for infants who don’t have [verbal] language where they can’t talk to you yet. Little guys. Trust me; there’s a language there that you’re not getting as the mommy, as the daddy. When they go to sleep, the family members, the angels of loved ones are already working with them and taking care of them. When they’re transitioning, whether it’s from SIDS or whatever, they’re not having those fears or struggle or panic because death doesn’t have that meaning for them. It’s just a different process. They’re still living every moment in their curious life learning something new with acceptance. So when this process of death comes to them, they’re accepting of it. When they get to the Other Side, Mom, mostly it’s celebratory. They’re already remembering that they’ve been there before. There’s this familiarity. There’s no fear or anxiety or “Where am I! Where’s Mommy?” I’ll see that with older kids, you know, they’re like, “Why? Where am I?” and they panic, trying to get back into their body because they’ve been trained to think that, “Death is not successful. You have to be alive to be successful.”

Me: Why do some people make it their spiritual contract to die young?

Erik: It’s going to depend on the people who are around them in their family and their life. Normally, infants—innnn general—they’re letting go of their lives to make an impact on their families, for their families to understand death and separation, to understand love, the importance of living in the moment, living in the Now. That’s normally what’s going on in things of that nature. Rarely, the infant will choose to die to experience incompletion, you know, they started something that they couldn’t finish to understand this [concept.] But usually, that young, there’s not a—

Me (rudely interrupting): Okay. What about in the cases of miscarriages and stillbirths?

Erik: A lot of those are because of the physical body—not designing it properly. Those don’t come with a contract, per se, for the baby’s soul. That’s more of a contract designed by the mother. It’s for the mother to experience, “I’m not good enough. I didn’t make it [happen.]” So it’s really a self-centered lesson that has nothing to do with the baby’s spirit. In those cases, the infant’s soul is not inside or struggling with that [death.] They don’t experience the death process because they didn’t come into the physical body. We call that riding sidesaddle.

Jamie (laughing): We do! The little spirit is sitting sidesaddle.

Me: So in these instances, it’s teaching the mother something. Is the child here to teach the mother or parent something?

In other words, is it a mutually designed contract?

Erik: No, but the spirit will help with the lesson. It’s not there to teach, though. It’s not coming in with independent knowledge to give the mother. It’s coming in to give the mother an experience and helping her accept that her body has a level of intelligence in and of itself, so it’s not anything that she ate or did or didn’t do or didn’t know. There’s a lot of trust that needs to happen.

(Pause)

Jamie (to Erik): Really?

Erik: Sometimes a kid will come in. They’ll hop on a pregnancy—

Jamie (laughing): His terms are so funny. Sometimes they make me stop.

Me: Like hopping aboard a train?

Jamie: Yeah, like, “Here I goooooo!”

Erik: And they’ll follow through with the miscarriage so that the mother will trust the body better. In the second pregnancy, they won’t come into it with more fear. They’ll come in with, “Okay. The worst has already happened. Let’s go.” And when the baby comes the second time, the third time, the fourth time, there is this, “You have arrived” moment. “You are here, and you are special.” You are a survivor in a sense when really you just had a healthy normal pregnancy (or maybe it was a difficult but successful one.) This helps the child to build a certain bond with the mother.

Me: Okay. That would probably be an even stronger bond, if that were possible, after the loss of other babies. The one carried to term would be very special.

Erik: Yes, and some experience that train ride 4 or 5 times before having a full-term pregnancy.

Me: We souls, we spirits, come into each other’s lives to teach something or to learn from each other, of course. Children must do the same thing, but do they teach us something different than an adult spirit would?

Erik: Yeah!

Me: Like what?

Erik: There’s so much to take in on this!

Me: Well, for example it might be a lesson in loss because losing a child is just so horrible. That loss is so much deeper than other losses. So would that be an example?

Erik: That’s a great example. Trust. Trust is a huge one because this kind of trust between parent and child comes with a certain kind of knowing and understanding because, you know, you wanna hold tight, but at the same time, you can’t. You have to let loose. You can’t do both at the same time. There’s gotta be a middle, and in that middle is the perfect amount of trust. That’s what [the child] is giving.

Jamie: Erik went on to talk about the beauty of having a child and not having a [verbal] language to communicate—just physical language, physical cues, noticing the smell, the look, everything else but the [verbal] language.

Erik: Try that with your sweetheart or your lover later today. Pick an evening when you can’t talk and see how deeply [your connection] becomes.

Me: Okay, that’s an exercise for all of you guys. We’re going to call this Part One. I don’t know. Y’all’s attention spans are probably too short to go on. I know you guys! You’re like me!

A child's beautiful transition into Heaven

A child’s beautiful transition into Heaven

 

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Elisa Medhus


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  • cyndi wilkins

    I know exactly what he is talking about when he says the bond strengthens with each loss Then, when you finally have a successful pregnancy, your bond with that child is even more powerful than you could even imagine…We had several “misses” before finally being blessed with our daughter via IVF…She is an amazing young lady,(at eleven years), with her connection to spirit in tact and supported by us and a circle of like- minded spirits armed and ready to guide her through all the days of her life. She has always had a special connection to the Earth and would often bring in her friends from the garden to meet me:) My only rule was that she bring them back home and not leave them stranded in the bathroom sink! (worms wriggling around in your sink is not a pleasant sight!) BTW…Happy Earth Day everyone:)

    • M T Waldrop

      I have decided that April 30, 2015 will be my last day on this earth. I really hope you are right Erik but if you are not then it will be no different then my life has been. All lies and deceit. I have hated this world and life for as long as I can remember and I have prayed for death since I was 14 years old. I have never really had a family to speak of and the worst regret I have ever had was beleivimg that there was a God and that he would make it better for me. I have never accomplished anything and I don’t have any friends that I can recall. I have decided to end of his pathetic life on April 30 because I have one thing left that I am believing for which I’m sure like everything else will never happen. I am 46 years old and I just can’t try anymore. I do not have any happy memories of my life and I only hope that I will never have to see this earth or anyone in it again.

      • M T Waldrop

        I sure hope I don’t burn in hell for what I am doing. But who cares as long as it gets me off this earth. I have enjoyed reading about Erik since I discovered it on YouTube. I sure hope I get to at least meet my little girl Megan Brooke who I lost at birth. I have no more dreams or goals left. I have never reached or came close to reaching any of them anyway. Everything I have ever wanted or loved or touched has been taken from me or blocked from my reach. Its very hard for me to believe I would have chosen such a shitty life, but I can’t judge so I guess anything is possible. I only know for sure that after April 30, I will never choose anything on this earth again. I’m hoping for one last thing bit I know that if my life is any indication of what April 30 will bring then I will definitely be completely shattered again for the last time. I really hope to get to meet you Erik but if that doesn’t happen then it really will not come s any surprise. Thank you Elisa, Jamie and Erik. I have really and trually enjoyed the stories. Even though this life has always been miserable and in acceptable to me I have enjoyed you on Youtube

      • M T Waldrop

        I even feel a little better just finally getting it out but it doesn’t change anything. I have no family worth talking to so just writing this post is a relief.I believe you Erik. I sure hope I’m not wrong again. See ya soon man. Just wrapping a few things up.

      • cyndi wilkins

        I am so sorry for the pain you are in…even if you are unwavering on your intentions, it doesn’t hurt to talk to us…you did say it even made you feel a little better:) Keep talking….we are good listeners and welcome “All in the Family.”

      • M T Waldrop

        At least I have never caused anyone intentional harm. And I have always been generous and helped everyone that has ever asked me. Guess its just never been my turn to receive anything. Its OK though. I don’t feel sorry for myself and I know that there will be no one that really misses me so I think its time to go. I’ve always hated pity parties so I won’t say anymore. Thanks to anyone reading and listening.

      • cyndi wilkins

        We are here….It is ok if you do not want to say any more…I can honestly say I have been where you are…and no, I am not a psychologist and I am not just saying that…Gun to the head and all…and I will tell you this…No booming voice comes down from the heavens to save us from ourselves…Only we can do that. I hope in your moment of truth you remember me and make another choice…Sending love to you….

      • M T Waldrop

        Thank you

      • Mama E here. First of all, let me say that I’m so touched by the outpouring of love you guys have given MT. See, MT? People do care. You are worthy of love. Clearly, Erik somehow nudged you here to receive that message. That means you are here to accomplish something and it may well be that you had to suffer a lot to have the tools to do so. Many people who suffer greatly use their suffering to do good, to reach others in pain. You just need to find out what your spiritual mission is. It certainly isn’t to take your life. Doing so won’t mean you leave your problems behind. In fact, according to Erik, not only do you take your problems with you, you create more for yourself by leaving a world of grief in your wake. Plus, you often realize how your decision changes the lifelines of others. For instance, say you were to have a child who would find a cure for diabetes. You decision to exit early would mean that scores of people, including children, will suffer and often die. You’d be excruciatingly aware of that. So stick around. Let Erik and the love here guide you to find what you are truly here to do, now honed by the sword of pain to best bring good to the world. Please seek the help of a mental healthcare provider regardless and, if you feel like killing yourself, call Suicide Hotline (1-800-273-8255) or 911. We want you around, and we all have your back. Erik led you here for a reason.

      • M T Waldrop

        Thank you very much for the kind words and I would like you to know that I have the utmost respect for you and of course anyone who has lived through the tragedy that you and others have had to endure and live through. I thank you also for the advice you have given me about seeing or calling a professional. You even provided the number.lol. Im afraid however that the pain of my life and the abuse that I had to live through when I was a child and of course the pain that I myself have endured through my adulthood is way beyond any professional help. Believe me I have tried to no end to understand and deal with what I feel.I’m really sorry now that I made my feelings public. I am usually a very quiet and reserved person and I very seldom show or voice my feelings. I know that you had to endure a great tradgedy and maybe that’s why I said anything at all. I would also like to apologize for the fact that I am too far in to turn back now. It took a lot of years to come to the decision I reached and please believe that the decision was not made easily or quickly. I really and truly hate and regret ever having been on this earth to start with. I am very grateful for the love and response from everyone and though I know you all mean well I’m afraid I have to own my decision. Thank you Dr. Medhus and thank you to everyone for giving a shit It is quite surprising to me how strangers would care more then people I have known my whole life. I wish I could explain it all to you but I believe that as a grown man there are just some things that are best just left alone. Thank you and everyone that has responded. I will always be grateful.

      • M T Waldrop

        Sorry for the spelling mistakes.

      • Patrick

        Hey, MT, I just have to tell you, you lay your story on everybody and then apologize for spelling mistakes? The world needs people like you to be here! I enjoyed that laugh, thank you.

        .

      • M T Waldrop

        Yeah saying I’m sorry has become a very bad habit over the years. Just trying to be respectful to someone who thought she could help. I’m glad you found amusement in it.

      • M T Waldrop

        I’m happy that you found amusement. Thank you

      • Whose comment are you referring to, MT? I can’t find one that shows an inappropriate sense of humor.

      • michelle klammer schrantz

        Yes, I’m here too, with all the CE family, loving you no matter what, M T !! Erik digs you too.

      • cyndi wilkins

        The biggest mistake we have made as a society is in teaching our men to repress their feelings and keep a “stiff upper lip” when they are in pain. Seems you have put a great deal of thought into this, so I will not press you any further…I know you have said you have some things to wrap up before you go, please make reading more of this blog one of them…especially the posts about the life contract…If taking your life was truly part of yours, I do not think you would have come here….You are already trying to save yourself…Keep trying:)

      • “You’re already trying to save yourself.” True and brilliant. You wouldn’t have come here if you were meant to go on.

      • joe

        I can relate to some of the problems MT faces, but truth be known I’m terrible with words of wisdom. I only know of one thing that changed my view of things a long time ago and it just a simple quote. This site is now on my list of things that have changed views for the better also.

        “The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven..” John Milton – Paradise Lost – 1667

        To me it meant that no matter what happens in my life, it’s all about the perspective in which I choose to register it within myself. Sounds strange typing it, but it works for me.
        I wish I had better knowledge to help MT, but I’m at a loss for words and can only hope that things get better before April 30th.

      • Would you do me a favor and search the blog for the post, “A Break from Being Human?” Also, please read through all of the archives. There is information in many of the posts that might inspire you to live. Again, I think that’s why you were nudged here—to read the blog, become a part of the family, and therefore save your own life.

      • I am so sorry for your pain and suffering in your life. Many of us have experienced pain and suffering..but first of all I just want to say we are here for you and we love you. We care about you..what if you could do something completely out of your realm..go somewhere, do something that you would never do. Go to I dont know Peru to the top of peru moche pitchu it is one of the highest vibrational places on earth and just see just see if anything happens to you spiritually.. I read there is a large monument stone up there that if you lay your forehead on it you can instantly be in touch with the spirit world. This may all sound so crazy but if your going to leave this Earth at least do something like this first before you go. You have to just to see! Peace to you and I will be sending my positive energy your way!!

      • Va Lovelace

        I think Cyndi eloquently spoke for the CE family
        that we care about you MT. If you’re here, you are a member of this family. I’ll bet there are dozens of blog members
        right now sending you love and healing energy, just as I am.

      • Syreeta

        Yes MT, Va is right. Count me among those sending you love right now. Never posted before but been a reader for a while. I just had to let you know I hear you.

      • Courty

        I hope you look into yourself to find happiness. I’ve notice that changing my scenery and downsizing have helped me gain perspective about life. I’ve found disappointment everywhere when it comes to people. I would like to think that my lesson about loss and experiencing the worse of others taught me to look into myself for inner strength and learning to love myself for who I am and not by what others say or do. Please think of the big picture and focus on what there is to learn from all of your experiences. I hope you do what you feel is best for you. Just know that you are not alone.

      • M T Waldrop

        Thank all of you!

      • Margaret

        Hi MT. I’ve been waiting a couple of hours to respond to you because I was looking for the exact right words to say. And I hope I found them, so here goes: please, I beg you, remember the words Erik told us. This separateness we experience on Earth, this isolation, it’s all an illusion. The darkness, illusion. We need this pain to know the light. Now obviously, you have experienced a tremendous amount of this pain, and you are exhausted from it. So you need to find oxygen. Let the CE family be your oxygen. We are all here because we’re looking for answers. Let’s find them together. You could be someone’s salvation one day. Please don’t give up. Please MT.

      • cyndi wilkins

        You see my darling MT…We are all here for you…Now if you are still wondering if our wonderful Erik is aware of your situation let me share with you a neat story…I have been pleading with our mischievous little prankster about returning a pair of my favorite sunglasses that “”disappeared” several days ago…I was made aware that the glasses would not be returned to me as they are clouding my vision while I am driving…Even after promising not to wear them when I drive, and threatening to sick his mother on him…still, NO SUNGLASSES! Sigh…And then came you my wonderful friend…Just after my last transmission with you, I was going to meet my family for dinner…I reached into my pocketbook for my car keys( the one I had dumped the contents out of several times in a frantic search for my “shades”) and in my hands appeared not my keys, but my lost glasses!
        Now if that doesn’t speak volumes to you nothing will…You are not alone…you see…no matter what may outwardly appear…WE are ALL here with you now…and you can bet your boots you will be hearing from us on April 30th!

      • ..Princess Maxine Lane..

        please Mr waldrop don’t take your own life, your life is so precious, it’s not something to be taken lightly, sometimes life can get pretty shitty and do i know, but if you don’t stick around and give yourself a chance you will never know just how good life can be if you’ll just let it, life is what you make it after all, you have to learn to look at the whole book and not just the page, your seeing the obvious and because your so wrapped up in your sadness your not seeing the true beauty that is all around you the gift that you’ve been given, I’m praying for you and I send all my love, I hope you change your mind where all here for you <3

      • MT how are you doing?

      • michelle klammer schrantz

        Yes, I’m here too, with all the CE family, loving you no matter what, M T !! Erik digs you too.

      • Marie Klaszky

        MT, I have tears streaming down my cheeks as I am so sad for the loneliness you feel. We are all one, and the separateness you feel is an illusion – I understand how intensely real it feels for you. I feel your hurt – I’m so sorry that this life has been a total disappointment. We are here for you and love you, your soul, your being. Far be it from me to judge or dissuade you from your free will, but I want to tell you; I too have been through so very much, and I made it through to the other side of loss and disappointment and it is truly joyous to be here. I realized that my happiness came from inside – meaning I found things to make myself happy – gardening, volunteering, seeking the purpose of why I am here on this plane. This is how I settled the past hurt and disappointment in my heart and in my head – by realizing that while so much was beyond my control, and that the past was just that and I deserved to be happy – What was IN my control was to let go… I put the past in the fuck it bucket and moved ON! You are beautiful and loved and deserve the best that this life has to offer. But, you have to let go of expectations and let the good things that you deserve find you. Have no expectations from others and find joy in the small things. The sun, the earth, the moon, the stars. By being joyous, the law of attraction will have no other choice but to catch up with you too. Don’t expect everyday to be perfect from your perspective. Learn that there is perfection in imperfection.
        Sending you love and healing white light and a gigantic bear hug
        Marie

      • I lost my son to a miscarriage. He is now my guide and is the major driving force behind my music career.

      • AKP

        MT – are your problems physical or psychological or other or all of the above? I haven’t managed to fix my health problems (fixed some though) and have tried a shit load of different stuff that has worked really well for other people. Tell me the nature of your problems give you some stuff you can look into.

      • How wonderful! Inspiration from the other side!

      • Maya

        Wait a minute. Before you die, if there’s one thing you could do before you die, what would it be?

        Do it first, before you die. So you don’t die regretting of thing’s that you could have done, but didn’t do. This is your chance to do that thing that you really wish to do.

      • Yes, and there are so many things that Erik misses about being human.

      • Marina K.

        Dr. Medhus,

        Thank you. For everything you do. I really mean it more than I can express right now, but I just wanted to say: THANK YOU!

        I asked Erik to give you a big bear-hug for me. Because that’s the only thing I imagine i’d do if I ever had the chance to meet you.

        Your blog has been a life-saver for me, literally. And I’m really glad you’re here, along with the rest of the CE Family. I just found you in December of last year, and I have to admit I’ve never been much of a blog reader (nor commenter), but now I can’t stop. Thank you, again and Happy Belated Birthday! Yours is the same as my momma’s and I just turned 25 in March – something I didn’t think i’d see, to be honest, if you asked me last year. And I know your website isn’t a substitution for professional help, but because of your website, I’ve had a much different outlook on life since a few months ago and it’s even given me the confidence to know that seeking out help is really okay. So thank you, again.

        -Marina. <3

      • wickedlydia

        Understand that Creation would have been incomplete without you. I wish you peace. Sending you a little of the love and joy that live in me.

      • Part 1

        Hang in there MT Waldrop.

        Ever since I was a little boy, and endured unspeakable abuse and even very near death, I have silently and sometimes not so silently “prayed” for my own death to come back to me. To die in my sleep. I did leave my body three different times and they keep sending me back here. I was dependant on drugs and alcohol for 24 years. I had a brain injury in the service that caused memory loss, vomiting migraines, damage to my pituitary gland, hormonal imbalances and subsequent obesity. I have a cervical spinal cord injury that affects my entire left side causing me to drop things that I try to carry and I walk funny. Titanium in my lumbar spine causing nerve damage to both my legs making me trip over my own two feet, sometimes causing further injuries and stenosis calf cramping. And because I could no longer do my job as an electrical contractor, I changed careers for a third time. I went back to school, borrowed more money, used a credit card to pay my mortgage for 18 months, hired a bankruptcy attorney, built a bed in the back of my pickup truck so I could be homeless when the bank came to take my house. Only I had no gas money to drive around on. I went on food stamps, volunteered at the soup kitchens for food. Went to a free clinic to get anti-depressants, went to the local university to get free talk therapy. Found out this week that I am autistic, yes this week. Have been in talk
        therapy for ten years. On and off three anti-depressants. Never had a girlfriend. Have been an involuntary celibate for 22 years. I’ll spare you the rest of the childhood story because it’s too gruesome. I have so much painful loneliness, yet I still keep editing my suicide note and extending my stay here on this earth. I got some good news today from Erik so I will probably never commit suicide.

      • Part 2

        Don’t give up.

        Firstly go get professional help right now. It’s out there and it’s inexpensive. Then get a reading from Jamie Butler and Erik. I think it’s around $30 to $65 for a quickie. The more effort you put into your own recovery, the more you’ll hear and feel good things about yourself. One thing that I did to help myself feel better was to teach guitar for free to disabled veterans through the guitarsforvetsorg non-profit at our local VA hospital. With this group, I actually ended up playing “Stairway To Heaven” on guitar in the background on NBC on the Brian Williams segment called “Making A Difference.”

        Then, during my second of four college degrees, I had earned a 4.0 GPA and was nominated to give the commencement speech at graduation. I earned a spot on the national technical honor society. Went on to grad school and became a teaching assistant for three lecturers and an honor student. Now, I am a website developer, musician, computer technician and because of one of my near death experiences have been gifted as a laying on of hands healer.

        Quite the turn around for me.

        Sending you a distant healing now via my guides.

      • Apologies for the multiple posts of Part 2, technical difficulties…

      • HAHA!

      • Carla Carney Pizzuti Finke

        Being here on earth is a funny thing. struggles yes, happiness, yes that to can happen. I lost my son and my fiance two years apart, almost exactly to the day. I have learned and believed in reincarnation my whole life. And I am sure you have read up, even on here about suicide. It seems that after one does it, in most cases, have terrible regret in the afterlife, they feel they wasted the opportunity to improve, understand, to love themselves more. Perhaps your purpose here is to love yourself. Love what others may not see in you or understand about you. We sometimes really have to pick ourselves up put one foot in front of the other and keep on moving. Sometimes I think it starts with a simple hello to a stranger or a smile. Funny how that can make you feel good….like opening a door for a lady, older or handicap that just would like a good morning or a smile….it lifts the spirit or soul to help others. Perhaps focusing on helping make someone elses day brighter you will find that you have purpose and a reason to be here. Perhaps your mission will now be to make others who may feel the same way you do, to feel like smiling and loving and laughing again. Do not waste this life on earth….make it worth your time.

      • Charles_BCCA

        I am so sorry for your loss. Loss of a child is unbearable. My mom’s pain was always there but she had other children to raise so mopping was never an option, yet I would never know how she ever got through. BTW reincarnation goes hand in hand with karma. The next life you are born into is based on your deeds during the current life. Being reborn as human is not assured. For instance Donald Trump who is acting as an ass lying may well be born as an Ass next time around and be kicked as he is kicking others.

      • Marina K.

        MT!

        Just wanted to let you know I’ve been thinking of you and that you’re on my mind =)

        Also, I found this book yesterday on CE somewhere in the comments and I’m really excited about it. It’s called Conversations with God and so far I haven’t even finished the first chapter and already I’m getting those “warm fuzzy feelings” in my chest when reading the dialogue (just as I do on here with specific posts that resonate with me). Here’s a link to it and there’s even a free pdf file with a word copy in it, too. I thought you might like it (considering your “long term vacation” plans) haha =P Take care, friend. http://www.universe-people.com/english/svetelna_knihovna/htm/en/en_kniha_conversations_with_god_1.htm

        -Marina. 🙂

      • His child’s version, The Little Soul and the Sun, is also very good if you just want the gist of the human experience. I think you can google it and read it online.

      • Marina K.

        Cool – Thanks! I’ll be sure to check it out.

  • My son was miscarried. I only know this because he is now my guide. He said he was going to incarnate as a boy and come into the world as my son because he knew that I was going to need his help. His mother never told me she was pregnant and miscarried. We only saw each other a couple of times over the week she was visiting her relatives in my hometown. So I never got to know my son in this lifetime but according to him, he owes me one. That we have had many lifetimes together. That he is the driving force behind my current music career. And during my reading with Jamie Butler today, she described him to me in great detail and I was finally told his name. I do not draw very good, but based on Jamie’s description of him today, I am going to draw my son to honor him.

  • Maya

    ” It feels like he’s off to some work-study program abroad. ”

    lol. This is what I always thought you should visualize. To tell you the truth, I always more interested to read what’s going on with your life. I often only read what you have to say, then skip the rest.
    I wonder if the excruciating pain worth the living? I feel you, Elisa. I will never be able to relate to your misery. But I know it is unbearable.
    The thing that hurts me most, in my perspective, it’s not Erik’s fault he suicided. But it is the society’s fault. If you want a person like Erik stay alive, you have to change the whole society to be more understanding about someone like him. But how can you change the whole world? You are just one person. It is the hard truth. That’s where the pain come from. From the feeling of powerlessness of not able to change the whole world for him. Like the feeling that your son is not important enough for others to change.
    This will bring you a lot of anger (sorry if I trigger you). But the anger and embracing/admit the powerlessness is necessary for the true permanent healing.
    Erik maybe doesn’t know he is that Worthy. That he deserves a space on Earth. Yes, he belongs here. But if other’s don’t want to move, you must claim your space/spot on Earth, and let others squeeze.

    • I’m at peace with the fact that Erik took his life. It took a while. And I was never angry. Never. How could I be, knowing he finally found happiness? Now, our mission is not only to help grievers, but to help people explore all things spiritual with Erik as our inside guide. I’ll leave suicide prevention to other more capable than I.

      • Maya

        But if he had a choice to live happy on earth, he wouldn’t suicide.

        He suicided because there’s no other choice. That was the happiest choice he could make, given that situation.

        Say if a rabbit lived in a jungle full of lions, then the only choice for the rabbit is just to die.

        But if the rabbit can have a jungle with only 1 or 2 lions, and the rest of the jungle are nice animals, maybe the rabbit would think life is risky, but it’s worth the living.

        If you never angry to Erik, then I can understand. But if you never angry to society (who treated Erik badly, and caused him to suicide), then I question how well are you connected with your own emotions?

        How can people treated Erik badly, yet you are not angry with them?

        That is abnormal. Where is your anger? Being a human involves with some anger and survival. That’s normal. If you are never angry, then you are too angelic. And angels belongs to heaven, and not earth.

        I know this is not natural for you. But if you can have some anger, that’s the first step of healing. That’s my opinion though.

        grounding = survival + anger

        As for suicide prevention, I am not talking about case by case scenario, because it is not your job to stop people who want to suicide to suicide.

        But I am talking about injecting the society with some truth about autistic people, bipolar people. So you don’t make them too comfortable to bully gentle souls like Erik.

        My point is, the (one who has most) problem is the society, not Erik.

        Of course you don’t have to believe me, and I don’t want to force you to do things you don’t want to do. But I am just saying. 🙂

  • Baggs Mitchell

    MT – give yourself the gift of spring. Find the most physically beautiful place near where you live and just BE there, outside, with nothing but you and this earth. Let yourself experience all that this planet has to offer before you leave, if you, indeed do. Take off your shoes, feel the ground, smell the awakening earth, the green again and let yourself open and grow, if only this last week you say you are choosing.

    Open your mind and let us all send you love and strength, we are. You are part of all of us. We are all part of the big YES! Sending love…

  • ebmom123

    Thank you so much Elisa, for bringing up the message of miscarriages & stillbirths. My son Nicky was born with a devastating medical condition (Recessive Dystrophic Epidermolysis Bullosa), which was proceeded by a full term stillbirth and a miscarriage. Because I had already buried a child, I have fought tooth and nail to keep Nicky alive all these years (he’s 18 now) and I do believe, as Erik has stated, I do have a very strong bond with him, one that I am not sure I would have, had I not lost my two previous pregnancies. When I had my youngest, Connor, who is 11 years old now, and he was healthy, I felt I had been given a tremendous gift. I worship my kids. Thank you…

  • Anomomom

    I was Erik’s age when my youngest brother passed away from leukemia. He was
    only three years old and knew he was dying, and though he suffered a great deal, he was never scared, and never complained; never had that “why me” moment, exactly like Erik described. We all thought he was brave and strong, which he was, but after reading this I realize that he simply accepted what was happening to him. It brings me some comfort to know that he wasn’t just putting on a brave face for his family, but that he truly wasn’t scared and was okay with what was happening. Erik was also right about kids having visions beforehand. I connected with my brother through a medium and he said the angels were with him in the end. <3