The Secret of Life

Hello wonderful CE folks;

Thank you to everyone who’s been sending thoughts and prayers to me and my family.  We’re hanging in there!  There are a couple of ways to look at this: to be angry / sad / upset / grieving all the time, or to be grateful for the time we have / have left.  Of course there’s a little from column A, a little from column B, but most of the time we try and focus on gratitude and the things we *can* do, rather than dwelling upon the things that are beyond our control.  So that’s the Kate’s Mom Update.

So Erik, what are we talking about?

Erik refers back to this blog post: posted seven months ago.  I take a few minutes to read it.

Erik says,  I’m gonna tell you the secret of life.  Are you ready?  Here it is:  Good shit always  comes out of really bad shit.  That’s why bad shit happens. 

That’s the whole secret of life on earth, babe.  Bad shit happens.  It’s the garden growing from the manure pile of bad shit.  Bad shit can really be good shit, because it *has to* be there for these amazing things to grow out of it.

The thing about grief is really this separation from the outcome.  You know grief is only relevant in time?  (Shows me a line, representing existence within a time-continuum.)  That’s why dead people don’t do a lot of grieving… generally. 

(Erik goes on a tangent…)

People who are stuck or haunting, a lot of that is fear and grief – but that’s a lot rarer than the ghost hunting shows would have you think.  A lot of “hauntings” are just energetic imprints, like ungrounded energy flying around fucking shit up.  It’s actually pretty rare for an actual individual consciousness to refuse to acknowledge all the other higher-vibration beings and planes of existence and just tunnel-vision themselves into haunting a house for a hundred years.  Plus, those individuals all have relatives and angels of their own actively working on helping them move on. 

Grief is this state of being that’s confined / restricted by your incarnated consciousness.  You grieve because of this very temporary (from a universal point of view) separation.  Ever look back and think, “wow, time flies?”  That’s one of the things most people do when they die.  Grief can make time seem to stretch out forever.  Death can compress your whole life into a flash. 

(Erik clears his throat and assumes his “guidance counselor” persona with a tweed jacket, a beard and a balding head, round wire-framed glasses.)  Erik shakes his finger and says, Kids, don’t kill yourself.  I gotta say it, because do you know how much fucking trouble I’d be in if someone actually died because of something we said on here?  Do you know how terrible that would make me feel???  And Kate and Jamie and my Mom???    This shit that I’m saying about grief and emotional pain, how it’s temporary, and how that all goes away in death – this is a serious responsibility here, and this is a HUGE TRUST that I’m putting in YOU (readers!) that you’re not going to take this knowledge and turn around and cut your own life short.  I’m telling y’all this because I’m treating you like a grown-up.  I am not giving you any cheat codes to your life because THERE AREN’T ANY.

Free will kids, that’s the wild card here.  It’s a wonder more angels don’t have mental breakdowns.  (Shows me a lioness who says, “I’m taking a break.”  Meaning this consciousness within this animal is hanging out as a lion for a few life cycles to re-ground and re-align her own energy fields before taking on more advancement work like being a guide/angel, incarnating etc.)

Pain isn’t something you can go around, it’s something you go through.  There’s no such thing as escaping pain, because that state of being is there for a reason – and it’s because the good shit that happens after the bad shit can’t happen without processing the pain.

You know that horribly sexist shit about Eve and how women experience pain in childbirth because of the sins committed in Eden?  Well if that hadn’t been channeled through a hundred sexist pen-holders (ha!  He gives me the image of masturbation with “pen-holders” because a lot of those guys are supposed to be celibate / above carnal desires, yet they weren’t.)  the message would be a lot closer to universal truth: that childbirth is a great example of our entire life cycle in a few hours.  You can look at birth as a way of experiencing your whole life: it can be painful, there are a lot of things you and others can do to make it worse, and a lot of things you and others can do to make it better.  There are even ways to have a really great time while giving birth.  You can’t really tell someone what to expect, you can’t give them the cheat codes to a birth, because it doesn’t work the same for any two people.  You hope for a miracle, and you worry about the worst. 

The thing about these experiences is they HAVE TO change you.  You can’t avoid being affected.  That’s why they happen.  That’s why we all need lotsa love to get through it!

(Erik gives me a shot of the above photo, but with his feet in stirrups.  You just can’t un-see that!)

Thank you Erik.


Kate Sitka is an animal communicator and psychic medium located in Tofino BC.  To learn more about her and her work, check out her website, her personal blog


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Elisa Medhus

  • Jeanette DiPasquale

    Enjoyed the comment about the wonder of angels not having a break down. I often wonder sometimes if they, the angels/guides/loved ones are looking at us and saying to themselves,” just hold on a little longer”, as they clasped their energetic hands together just wanting us to keep going and not to give up.
    Your messages comes at a good time Erik. Kate keeping you in light and love as well. Peace!

    • This may be a non-sequitor, but I’m still confused as to why we need to “learn lessons” all the time. Why couldn’t an all-powerful God make it so that we don’t have to suffer so much to understand life? What kind of God would want his creatures (human and animal) to suffer so much?
      Why can’t we just be happy and enjoy our beautiful world? In essence: Why do we have to become human to be worthy of an afterlife that seems so incredibly wonderful? Why would i make pact to hurt a fellow human being, so that we both can learn a lesson? Isn’t that kind of a sadomasochistic concept?
      I don’t think I need to experience evil to understand good.
      Even I, imperfect as I am, wouldn’t force a child of mine to hurt another child, in an effort to teach both of them a lesson.
      Can Erik explain that, without making God sound so strangely unfair?
      I’m really enjoying these conversations, because i don’t feel judged by what I express.
      Could yo ask Erik to help me understand and to make my life more bearable?
      Thank you all.

  • cristina

    Aawww <3 our Erik is growing up, proud to see he is so responsible 🙂
    And reallly enjoyed the sexist pen-holders comment :)))))))) Bastards ! 😛
    Yes, like yin and yang symbol: inside the yin is the seed of yang and that's how things will always be 🙂

  • Gail Glass Allulli

    That’s some badass shit from Erik! He validates my conclusion about the “pen holders” maligning Eve and condemning women – childbirth is how they got their pens to push. Lol!!!

  • Kryssey

    I love this post! Thanks a lot Erik! So much information here to digest! 🙂

  • JB

    Thanks Erik! Your words are comforting. Hopefully they reach the right eyes. Keep on enlightening us 😉

  • Chelsy


  • Deb Keckley

    I was just saying the same thing about there been the building blocks of good in everything bad. Because they were doing the whole whoas me, Why does God do this to me. Why does he let bad things happen…People PLEASE STOP Blaming GOD for every little thing you are to blind to understand you created for yourself!..I’m sorry…but that makes me MAD. It is one of the first things I wrote in my book..Do not ever let me hear you say WHY GOD ME! Trust me we are perfectly capable of making our own bad crap! Just as we can create our own Good.

  • Deb Keckley

    This is for everyone…Something I think Erik might get a laugh out of too…from my book.
    Just An Imp

    An Empathic Mediums Journey

    By Deb Keckley

    The College Of Hard Knocks

    Welcome everyone to The College of Hard

    Knocks. This life session class is Unconditional

    Love 101. It will be the hardest class you will

    ever take. You will not be required to pass this

    class to graduate. Additional classes will be

    available after your life review on the other side.

    Please take notes of any outstanding progress

    you feel you make. You just might need to repeat

    a subject, and notes are good. You can approach

    this subject in any way you choose, and break it

    down into any number of subcategories, such as

    compassion, understanding, giving, selflessness,

    the list goes on. You will be both teacher and

    student among one and other. Choose your

    working partners well.

    I am confident that you are here to learn, or

    you would not be here at all. Good for you!

    Practice makes perfect.

    In case you have forgotten the lessons learned

    in any previous lifetime, please consult with your

    guides for footnotes. If you have not acquainted

    yourself with your guides already, I suggest you

    do so at the first available opportunity. They are

    best reached through prayer, dreams or just give

    a big shout. Remember be specific with your

    questions to them and expect simple answers

    usually delivered by decipherable feelings.

    If you have forgotten your ability to translate

    spiritual energy, I’m sure there are any number

    of qualified souls who have written books on the


    Remember that this core class will be directly

    connected to any other experience in your life

    that you may wish to blame God for. Please do

    not ever let me here you say. Why GOD ME!

    Some of us older souls, who still haven’t got the

    unconditional love thing right, have at least

    come to the conclusion that God has nothing to

    do with it! GOOD LUCK!


  • Carla Carney Pizzuti Finke

    as far as the Ghost comments…I always laugh when these ghost hunting shows go to these really really old haunts…I am like ghost aren’t still hanging around there…unless they are a new haunting….

  • D Mom

    The comment about grief causing time to move slowly is so accurate. I am glad to see that because I knew it is like that for me. It has been 6 months since my son died and in so many ways, it seems like it was a very long time ago. Very strange.

  • Stu

    Hi, I was looking around you blog for your contact information, but it seams like that page has gone 404 (Contact – main menu). Is there a way that I can send you an email?

    • I know! I had to disable it because I get so many emails a day that I’m exhausted–often three hours a day. I can’t keep up with them. So I’m asking everyone to email me only if it’s pressing. I changed the menu so that it won’t show “Contact” anymore.

  • Cyndi

    This post is so funny to me because I remember very clearly as a child being furious when I read the story of Eden….It was so disappointing to me because I had been excited to bring home my ” Young Readers Bible” from church… I ran upstairs to my room and plopped the book down on my desk and began to read. Finally I will have all the answers. so I thought…Imagine my parents surprise when I stomped down the stairs a short time later and threw the book on the coffee table in front of them and said, “Take it back! I’m not reading another word of that BULLSHIT!” I’m pretty sure they thought I was Satan’s child! LOL!

  • Moneca

    “The good shit … can’t happen without processing the pain”. I wonder if that means if we take drugs or alcohol (even legal drugs) to numb the pain if that interferes with the process necessary for the “good shit” to come after the bad?

  • You might be right! Of course the result of self-medication creates a lot of fodder for lessons (or shit) too.

  • felicia

    We just wanted to express to you how much we love you all. We are ancient spirits that are here for a time and purpose. We love Erik for being brave and willing to, in his own delightful way, teach many humans that are seeking. His ability to communicate in a contemporary way will reach many, and we thank you for setting many free.
    Give our love to Zeus!

  • Beth Murphy, M.Msc.

    Erik: “The thing about grief is really this separation from the outcome. You know grief is only relevant in time? (Shows me a line, representing existence within a time-continuum.) That’s why dead people don’t do a lot of grieving… generally. “

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