What It’s Like to Be a Spirit

The holidays are over, everyone might be a few ounces heavier, but hopefully your hearts are full of love and gratitude and that that feeling will endure the years. God this is sappy. If my kids read this they’d be rolling their eyes. (Some of them do that often enough at things that I say or do that they could probably bench press 400 pounds with their eyelid muscles.)

We finished the poll for a possible CE Weekend in the UK and I have 24 with a great interest. It’s be pretty cool to start spreading this event internationally. Some commented on other places they’d like to see the events take place: Australia, San Diego, Colorado and others. Let’s make the survey official. Where would you want to see the next CE Weekend take place?

Now let’s learn more about spirits! 

Me: Erik, let’s talk about you and your brethren spirits. What do you think about that? Are you game?

Erik: I’m game for anything you can think of.

Me: Good. What do you and others look like over there?


Jamie (giggling nervously): Let’s skip past the first five words he used and get down to the real stuff.

Me: Uh oh.

Erik: Energy.

Me: Well, come on. Tell me the first five words! It’s not age-appropriate? Is that it?

Jamie (laughing nervously): No, it’s not age-appropriate!

Me: Okay.

Jamie: It was completely fresh out to the gate teasing, vulgar language.

Me: Uh oh. This should be fun though. All right, so you look like energy. Tell me more.


Jamie: He’s describing that they don’t have to hold shape all the time. They don’t ever have to present themselves in the way they appeared when they were in a body on Earth. (Pause) He’s telling me they can change shapes as they see fit, but I asked him ‘What’s the original state. (To Erik) If you’re not thinking about anything, Erik, what is the comfort zone in what you look like?


Erik: Pure light.

Me: Hm Interesting. Like a ball of light or a beam or what?

Erik: Not necessarily like a circle ball of light. A little looser than that, oval, oblong. It’s a light source of its own, and it shines out.

Me: Is it kind of like the orbs that we capture in photographs sometimes?

Erik: Yes.

Me: Okay. Now you come to me as “Erik,” the shape and look of “Erik,” and I guess you do the same with Jamie. Do you do that with everybody? Do you keep your personality [and body] like Erik up there?

Erik: Well, when I’m communicating with people on Earth, especially the ones associated with the blog or who know about me as I was on Earth, I want present myself exactly the way that I looked then.

Jamie laughs. I had no idea why until she composed herself and continued to translate.

Erik: –which, by the way, was handsome.

Jamie and I giggle.

Me: Is that what he says?

Jamie: He’s using some other words.

Erik: Debonair. We can say that one.

Jamie: Debonair. That’s a big word.

Me: Debonair, yeah. (Somehow that adjective doesn’t belong to Erik. Sorry bud.) Okay. Anything else about how you guys look?

Erik: Nah. Probably what’s most important to know is that we don’t need a shape. I think that people think that if there’s something more holy to us or more grandeur, that they want to dress us or shape us—

(Long pause)

Jamie (to Erik): Wait. What are you talking about?

(Very long pause)

Jamie bursts out in laughter.

Jamie: I’m sorry. He just went off on a little sideline. He’s discussing how some people believe that they have had a past life experience or, let’s say, a near death experience. Let’s take this one. And he says that some of them will come back and say, “Oh, I was at a round table and everybody was wearing long robes.” It looks like I’m looking at a bunch of Romans, basically.

He must have sent her the image.

Me: Okay. Like togas.

Jamie: Togas, yes.

Me: Toga party!

Erik: Who the fuck decides that because we’re ancient and all-knowing that we have to fucking wear togas? That’s ridiculous. Or that we’re more holy so we have to look like a monk. Appearances mean nothing of who we are, so you can kind of tell people’s dream state vs. people’s real near death experiences or cross over experiences—

Jamie: That’s what he was talking about—the bullshit claims.

Erik: Yeah. If you’re coming across stuff like that: “They all walked as if they were tiptoeing like an encore at a ballet show.”

Jamie laughs.

Erik: Pretty much, that’s going to be an overactive mind and that’s not going to be an authentic experience. It’s coming through filters that you’ve created, that you’ve decided it should look like.

Me: Based on your beliefs. Just like you said: you afterlife experience you created while you were alive.

Erik: Ding, ding, ding!

Me: All right. Okay, you say you’re big, your light. Is it an infinite volume or—

Jamie laughs hard, face in hand. I have an idea why.

Me: Oh no. I know where that’s going. How big are you?

Jamie shakes her head quickly and very nervously.

Jamie (to Erik): No, how big is your light, Erik? Your light. (Pause) Your energy, Erik!


Jamie (To Erik, firmly): I’m not doing it! Come on.


Jamie: Um.

(Pause. Again.)

Jamie (laughing with the fingertips on both hands on her forehead, covering up her face.): Stop!

Me: Erik!

Jamie (still laughing): He’s not going to let up today. I don’t know what he ate for breakfast, but yes, they don’t really eat breakfast.

Me: But they can.

Jamie: If he did, it was Wheaties.

Erik: In my “relaxed” state, the size of myself is—


Jamie: That’s so interesting. I’ve never asked him this question before, because I always see them as people.

Me: Mm hm.

Jamie: He’s showing me about an 18-inch diameter sphere down to about a 10-inch sphere and it’s not stagnant like a ball. The image he’s putting in my head, the sphere has a breath of its own. Our chest cavity moves while we breathe; this has kind of a pulse to it and a growth to it and a cycle it runs. Yeah, so I guess they’re smaller than what I had imagined.

Me: Ah, Erik. You’re smaller than you let on to be!

Jamie listens to him for a few seconds then blushes.

Jamie: Next topic!

Poor Jamie.

Me: What are the spirits abilities after they transition, Erik?


Jamie: Oh, good. He can’t really get nasty with—well I guess he can, but. (To herself) Spirit’s abilities.


Jamie (to Erik with a shrug of her left shoulder): What can you do?

Erik: Well, the first thing that you notice right away is time and travel. They don’t exist with the same parameters that we believe them to have when we’re alive. Period.

Jamie (chuckling): Finally he sits down in the chair in front of me. I put a chair in front of me so that he’d be there, but he was kind of standing.

Erik (sweeping his hand, palm down, across his chest): So fucking different. It’s nice. It feels more natural. It doesn’t feel like you’re being scheduled or being forced into a routine or needing to think ahead about how to set up a process, to achieve a goal. Here you don’t have that linear thought. You see it as a whole, as how it’s going to affect everything. Like the way that [humans] think right now, most people will get out their computers, look at their schedules and decide that at 8:00 they’re going to do this, 9:00, 10:00, dut, dut, so that by Friday, they have this finished.

This is taken right from my playbook.

Erik: Now imagine that you’re thinking in this way. I know a lot of people use the little image (now talking like a sissy) of dropping a pebble in the lake or in the pond—

Jamie (smiling): He’s being really funny with his voice.

Erik: And then it ripples out, you know, 360, it ripples out. It touches the edges of the water and then it comes back in ever so gently, but imagine that your thought is on every single ripple, every single wave, 360 again and again and again and again and again, and then back at you.

Me: Interesting.

Erik: Soooo fucking cool.

Jamie: That must be his new phrase.

Jamie and I laugh.

Me: You’re still amazed by where you are and what you can do, huh?

Erik: Yeah. There’s a lot to learn. It doesn’t—

Jamie (to Erik): It? What’s “it”?

Erik: Your abilities, your language, your base knowledge—this “it,” it doesn’t stop on you. There’s no end in sight. That’s the most exciting thing.

Jamie (smiling): Well, that and a few other things. Just think nasty.

Me: Oh, god. Of course. Boy, you are on a roll, Erik.

Jamie: This is the dirtiest session. I have chosen not to say everything. Normally I’ll succumb and, like, turn red and do it, but I won’t do it this time!

Me: We gotta put a leash on that boy!

Jamie: We need to create a leash we can put on him.

Me: Exactly. Now, what do you have to adjust to the most right after you transition?

Jamie: His eyes light up and he kind of falls back into the chair and he goes—

Erik: Immediately, the overwhelming sense of peace.

Me: Mm.

Erik: That you don’t have anything to worry about, that you don’t have any physical pain—

Me: No homework. No chores!

Jamie laughs.

Erik (teasing): C’mon Mom. You think it’s simple. Think huge! All of a sudden, you have no concern if somebody is loving on you or hating you. There’s no need to please someone; there’s no—

(Long pause)

Jamie: He’s pausing.

Erik: Cause and effect. There’s no cause and effect, and that’s—

Me: Cuz that’s linear.

Erik: Yeah. You’re right. That’s linear. It’s the first thing that you feel, and you think it’s so surreal that you want to call it a dream state and you know you’re going to come out of it. I bet half of you, upon dying, are going to start pinching yourself, because you won’t want to believe it’s real. And then it keeps going; it keeps going, and it remains consistent. That’s what blows you away. It’s consistent. It’s not contingent on anything that you do, anything that you experience, anything that you desire, think, want, none of it. This whole compassion and peace remains consistent.

Me: That sounds good. Very good.

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Elisa Medhus

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