Why People Take Their Lives

Here I am way up above the tree line in Norway where Internet access is spotty and very expensive. For that reason (plus the fact that I’m on vacation) I’m only going to post three days a week. Got to tend to the moose and trolls, after all. It’s so peaceful and pristine here. So quiet that the silence is deafening. It’s so nice to unwind in such a place far from the crazy, busy life I’m used to in my daily life. For those of you who make comments, I probably won’t have a chance to read them, nor will I be able to answer Facebook private messages and comments, so if you can refrain from leaving them (the ones directed to me) then the moose, trolls and I would very much appreciate it. 

Me: Let’s see. Okay, I know we’ve talked a lot about what happens in the afterlife when someone commits suicide, you know, how they’re treated.

Erik: Yeah.

Me: We also talked about how suicide is usually not someone’s destiny in that it’s not a pre-designed exit point, but that in some cases, like yours, it is. So why do some people choose suicide as part of the spiritual blueprint they create for their incarnation? I mean, so many of the blog members insist that you can’t choose suicide as part of your destiny, because it’s just not right, taking any life, including your own. But from my perspective, I think you can. Maybe that’s wishful thinking on my part, but—

Erik: No, you’re right, Mom. You can choose that type of death, um, I mean transition, when you plan your life. How ignorant for somebody to say, “You can choose all these other kinds of deaths, but you can’t choose this one.”

Me: Well, cut ‘em some slack, Erik, because I think there’s a lot of influence from different religions on the subject. It’s a taboo thing.

Erik: Nope. Ignorance.

Me: Erik! Play nice!

Erik, Jamie and I laugh.

Me: Or maybe I’m just being too nice, giving people the benefit of the doubt.

Erik: You’re always nice, Mom.

Me: Aw! You’re sweet, Erik! Okay, so can you name all the reasons, or at least some of the reasons for why someone would choose suicide as a destiny?

Erik: Um, one could be finding inner strength.

Me: Okay.

Erik: So that they can overcome themselves. One is to succumb to get in.

Me: Why would that be a choice?

Erik: It’s more of a breaking of boundaries or a breaking of structure.

Me: Oh, okay.

Erik: So, let’s say if you were into that heavy religious belief that suicide is taboo, it’s never the answer and you’re going to burn in hell if you do it.

Me: Um hmm..

Erik: That’s a rule in your life that’s binding you. So when you kill yourself to experience succumbing, you’re giving in to YOUR feelings, YOUR needs. Succumbing to YOURESELF would be breaking an external rule or structure. And that would teach others that the belief system doesn’t give room for the complete truth. Another, which is one of the most common reasons, is when people know they’re going to come into a life that is extremely powerful and demanding on themselves.

Me: Yeah, to accelerate their spiritual growth?

Erik: Right, and some people won’t do it unless they know they have an out. If it gets to be too much for them, they do break and feel they can’t repair themselves, then they know that they can leave.

Me: So that’s one of the exit points they create for themselves. Like a safety valve on a pressure cooker.

Erik: Exactly. That’s generally the most common reason for suicide as a pre-designed exit point.

Me: Is there—of course you had such a great life, apart from your mental illness, so what was your reason?

Erik: Mine was to get out of my head, and I set myself up to have a very hard life, mentally, so that I could be better prepared to do the job I’m doing now. Just like you, Mom. You’ve had a really hard life, lot’s of drama and tragedy. That’s so you could have the understanding and compassion a healer and teacher needs to be effective. I needed to develop that compassion also so I could guide and help others from this side of the veil. It’s what I was meant to do.

Me: Are there any reasons someone might commit suicide to teach lessons to others?

Jamie listens for awhile, then starts chuckling.

Erik: First, it’s not like we’re wanting to be vindictive or “in your face,” but a lot of times, suicide is that final, “Fuck you.”

Me: Uh huh.

Erik: That, “Look what you’ve made me do!” We covered that part about you’re fully in control of your own actions so that’s all bullshit. To give away your power, you know, to say somebody made you do it is because that person isn’t strong enough and doesn’t want to take responsibility.

Me: Yeah.

Erik: So, it’s a huge “in your face” action, because it shows that the person needed such help but wasn’t able to express it. And so the people around you perk up. Often, they take on new positions in life. If they don’t fall apart from the suicide of their friend or family member, they take on new parts. Look at you, for example, Mom—able to help thousands of other people.

Me: Okay, so yeah, it can be a catalyst, a positive catalyst for other people, then?

Erik: Yes, but most people see it negatively, because of what they were taught about suicide when they came into this world. It’s bogus. Totally bogus.

Me: Okay, so anything else?

Erik: Oh, yeah. Some try to teach others about loss, some about the sanctity of life and the human experience.

Me: So can they learn about the sanctity of the human experience themselves, like they kill themselves, then they get over there and think, “Oh my god, I just wasted an opportunity!” Do they ever design it for that?

Erik: Uh, yeah. There are tons of regrets where when they were alive they couldn’t see five feet in diameter around them, but then with their death, they can see a lot more, and they realized how they shortchanged themselves.

Me: Yeah, exactly.

Erik: And yes, doing that, then there’s work to be done, because there were people’s lives that they were supposed to be involved with that they were supposed to affect. So they have to do all that work in spirit that they would have done if they remained alive. All that, the regrets and missed opportunities—that’s to teach the soul how important the human experience is to spiritual progress, not only for them, but others too. It’s a lot harder to get the work done over here in spirit.

Me: Okay, now, at first, you said your death wasn’t your destiny, and lately you’ve said it was. I always felt like it was. I could never imagine you as an old man with grandkids and stuff.

Erik: I was totally disoriented when I first got here, Mom. Mostly, I just felt (pause), it’s odd. It’s peaceful and I knew I did the right thing, but then I felt horrible watching the people I love, and to speak up and tell them that, yeah, this was the right thing for me to do—that’s just another stab right into their hearts.

Me: Yeah.

Erik: And a lot of people can’t accept that. You know, “How could your son, who you loved so much, and you believed they loved you do that to you?” And that’s an egocentric way of thinking about it. You’d be thinking just about yourself instead of the other person’s position, but again, that’s what our structure gives to us on planet earth.

Me: Yep, exactly. So you were disoriented; you thought it wasn’t your destiny, you thought you just kind of messed up, because you saw us grieving so much? Then you all of a sudden remembered it was your destiny, because you were supposed to be doing all this—what you’re doing now?

Jamie: He said this and you said this at the same time!

Me: Ha! How cool. I guess great minds think alike!

Erik chuckles.


Selfie in the Tundra

Lukas, Annika and I in Norway

Lukas, Annika and I in Norway


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Elisa Medhus

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  • me

    For respect for the many people who have lost loved ones to suicide, we try to refrain from using the word commit when speaking of suicide.

    • Amy

      Why is that?

      • me

        It makes the suicide criminal. Google it. There is a lot of information about educating people on the proper was to discuss suicide and the proper language to use. The AFSP also has a link.

      • Va Lovelace

        Hi “me.” Thanks, I read some of the sites. It appears to be a semantics issue. Erik teaches us that it’s all about the intention behind the words and everyone here is extremely respectful of this subject, as you appear to be as well. xx

      • d0wnv0teFa1ry

        so by implication Elisa is criminalising her own son, i don’t think so, somehow..

      • me

        Maybe you should read the information before posting. You sound ignorant. It’s about changing a negative perception that is associated with a particular word. Those of us, myself included, who have lost loved ones to suicide, find the word offensive. Educate yourself.

      • d0wnv0teFa1ry

        and you just sound like an authoritarian judgemental prick.

      • me

        Now you have reaffirmed my previous thoughts. Grow up or seek therapeutic help.

      • d0wnv0teFa1ry

        as you have reaffirmed mine. maybe it is you that needs help. clearly you have an axe to grind

      • me

        You are a sad and pathetic individual. I was sharing information from respected organizations who deal in suicide. You…are an argumentative troll who lacks knowledge on the subject. Not only am I a licensed counselor in the mental health field, a member of the AFSP.. but I am also trained in ASIST. You however have no knowledge, credibility or experience in this matter and should go crawl back in the hole you came from. Maybe this site should have a monitor who screens ignorant and spiteful commenter such as yourself. While I attempted to educate those and create awareness, you have attempted to create a hostile environment. The very type of environment that is unhealthy and fosters judgemental negative attitudes. Good bye and find help for your narcissistic pathologies.

      • d0wnv0teFa1ry

        and you’ve shown yourself to be an arrogant presumptuous arsehole who thinks they can throw unheard of qualifications to sound intellectually and morally superior. you are an utter nobody to me.

      • d0wnv0teFa1ry

        if its anyone who started hostilities, its you thinking you can lecture the site owner on what the hell she can say on her own blog

      • It’s okay. We can learn from our critics. For example, we can learn how to forgive and how to understand that others have beliefs that are based on what they’ve learned from authorities in their lives. We all have such beliefs.

    • Yeah, Erik hates that too, at least now. As a general rule he uses, “Taking their own lives.”

  • Jacqueline Orszulak

    Great post soak up the fresh air, love, and Eriks spiritual presence. Be proud you have ascended to the level of communication you have with spirit!!!,

  • Mercedes Murat

    As a very young girl, many years ago, my best friend took his own life. Even as a young girl, I understood why he felt he did not fit in this world at that time. Of course, it hurt like hell. I was one of the first to find him. I did not feel angry….We were very close so I always understood he did not feel he would ever fit in. After his funeral and the initial shock of realizing He was gone, I felt happy for him. I knew he was now free. I also realized how hard it was to leave his family and friends. He was so Brave! It is never an easy decision! I only wish someone like you Erik was around to channel my friend for me. From the bottom of my heart…I Thank You Erik

    • Talk to him in one of Jamie’s small group channeling calls!

  • cyndi wilkins

    Lucas looks just like his big bro:) Love the new pics on the home page…

  • Stanley

    On this topic I can relate to the comment about how some keep suicide as a out coming into a difficult life. My time here has been hard since the word go. The day I arrived I was put in a psych ward for something I didn’t do. As some know, I’m a walk-in. The old soul who was a month shy of being 10 at the time left and I took over. I never knew what happened that day till Erik told me.

    Apparently the old soul had tried to take his life in the classroom. All I knew was I was sent to this hospital with a doctor asking me why I tried to kill myself and I kept telling him I didn’t. It was true, “I” didn’t. He did. But our world doesn’t recognize walk-ins. Plus, at the time I didn’t even know I was a walk-in. That day I woke up in a chair at school with no memory of anything before. My thought was I had amnesia and forgot/blocked the last 10 years. But Erik was the one who told me what really happened and why I couldn’t remember anything.

    So anyway, back to the topic at hand, 3 days into the stay I was put in solitary for not wishing to play basketball. I was feeling down. I wasn’t hurting anyone or anything, so the use of solitary was unwarranted. But I sat there crying wanting to just die and be done. That day I promised myself if in a few years I still felt this way I would take my life. And over the years I had pushed back the date 1-2 years at a time as I felt I could take it. It was my way of saying if it’s too hard and I can’t stand it anymore I can make the pain of all this stop. It helped me get through quite a lot.

    I ended up being abused starting from 2 days into my time here to present as late as a year ago when a staff member in a psych ward hurt my arm causing it to have to be in a sling for a week. But as a minor growing up I was being mentally and physically abused by my parents, family and family friends, school bullies, school staff at the special education schools and at the psych wards my mom used as a form of punishment growing up.

    She didn’t want to ground me and enforce it herself, so she would call the psych ward and claim I was suicidal and had just tried to kill myself knowing I would be admitted for sure. And she was right. And it was in those children’s psych wards the worst of the abuse which resulted in the PTSD happened. So the promise and out of suicide gave me strength SO many times.

    But it wasn’t until my adult years I came close to actually acting on said promise. But even that isn’t fully in my control. Awhile back my guides passed a message saying they had caused past attempts to fail saying I have too many key points to take care of to be allowed to leave and how it would mess up too many lives if I was allowed to leave when I had tried. Not to make myself sound like all that, but basically my Angels were saying I am supposed to go on to effect too many others to be allowed to leave (kill myself) just yet. Which makes me wonder just what’s left in store for me in the future.

    But I have come to understand the comment to some degree since it was made all those years ago. Such as when I appeared on TV to share about my role playing I do. I had no idea I was going to effect so many people by sharing. I caused some to get into the lifestyle, some said they were feeling sick/crazy for being into it and were thinking of offing themselves before they saw my show. Stuff like that. So I can better understand why I couldn’t leave when I had tried.

    If I had died, I wouldn’t have made the impact I did on those who saw/heard of me. I still get letters today from people saying how I changed their lives. And I never thought about that would happen when I did the show. So we don’t always know the impact we are going to have on other souls, and if we leave early then we have to find, as Erik said, a way to cause that person to go the way they would have had we still been alive. Anyway, long reply I know. But had a bunch to say. Thanks for listening all. Good topic today. 🙂

    • Patrick

      Thank you for telling such a great story, Stanley. It seems the idea of a walk-in is not too different from multiple personalities or schizophrenia (that could be an incorrect, if popular use of the word – apologies to any trained pros)

      Human points-of-view don’t generally recognize incarnation, re-incarnation, multiple souls/personalities per body or your circumstance and maybe, just maybe, that is all intentional, for good reasons.

  • Marie Klaszky

    Agreed, Lucas looks a lot like Erik, very handsome. Have a wonderful, restful time.

  • mike m

    Boy, you guys look totally Norse! Have a blast! it is my sacred duty to extend a Happy St Patrick’s Day to one and all. Drink up!!

  • Maya

    Can you see Northern lights over there?

  • Dani

    nice pictures! Did you go cross-country skiing?
    The reasons behind suicide are usually so deep that it would be unwise to judge. One day we will all understand the bigger picture:) And I like to be happy for someone else and when you listen to Erik he seems happy and content where he is now…. not to make the loss light but to look on the bright side as it cannot be undone or reversed and blame is not the answer. And you can talk&listen to him today, that is such a blessing. In a way the relationship has grown so much. Turning a tragedy around in the most amazing way. Enjoy the holidays!!! It looks really cold there!!

  • selena gomez

    I would be interested in hearing from Erik about the “suicide” of Brittany Maynard, the woman who took her own life because she was terminal. I’m only assuming that wouldn’t be looked down upon in the next life only because she was never going to live long enough to accomplish anything . . . or maybe her disease and how she left actually WAS her spiritual mission? I’d also like to hear from Robin Williams as well.

  • My brother took his life in 1998. It was the biggest shock and upheaval I have ever gone through, yet at the same time I knew he could not stay here on earth in the state he was. A couple of days later, I was crying in bed and I heard him call out “Deb I’m OK….everything you believe in life after death is true” then I saw a vision of him and me together and he told me that he was truly happy. I needed this reassurance so badly, I was worried that he may have crossed over and still be tormented, his appearance gave me so much strength to carry on. He came to me in dreams a few years later and through a psychic medium that told me something that only I knew. He said “Your brother wants me to tell you, he loves the tattoo, he loves the tattoo of the feather”. I had a tattoo of a feather put on my lower back two weeks prior to the reading in memory of Gary and I never told anyone about it. I knew then that he was still around. I want to thank you so much Erik, Elisa and Jamie for the work you do in bringing comfort to so many grieving people. xx

    • It’s so wonderful when the people we’ve “lost” and love give us confirmation.

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