Thank you all for your prayers. We surely needed them and still do. I’m so sorry I haven’t responded to comments to the posts, emails and Facebook messages. I still have a hard time seeing and there’s not much signal in the ICU.
In this post, Erik gives his case against suicide. Hope you enjoy!
Me: Erik, you paint a great picture of death, right? Tell me something that would keep people from offing themselves.
Jamie laughs hard.
Jamie (to Erik): Pull it together, man! (To me) He’s just laughing.
Erik: Shit, I can’t think of something right now.
Erik (throwing his arms out over his knees): Well, we talked about the sadness of not being able to touch someone and that communication is different, so I would say what could keep you on Earth are the relationships you have with friends and family, because even though the bond isn’t broken when you pass over, the relationship really does redefine itself. You can’t just run up and see each other and embrace and sit down and have your coffee and chat.
I miss that.
Erik: Mom, I guess I’d say this: Do your shit now so you don’t have to come back and do it later.
Me: Mm hm.
Erik: Like, why are you putting off life? Mecca’s not going to be any sweeter for you.
Jamie (giggling): Mecca!
Jamie (laughing): He’s going, “Mecca-heiny-ho.
Me: Oh, well, I used to take my kids once a year to the Hyatt here in Houston just as a special treat. You know, we’d spend the might, jump on the beds, have pillow fights and order brownies a la mode from room service. So, at the restaurant there, they’d order this shake called Meka-heiny-hai or something like that. It was a Hawaiian thing, but the kids would joke and say, ”Make a heiny high.” They would laugh and laugh. That’s what he’s talking about..
Jamie: Oh my god!
Erik: Mom, you are really fun!
Me: It was so much fun. We had a blast. All right. Anything else on that? Don’t you take your problems with you?
Erik: Totally. Totally. I mean that’s why I said why would you put off life? You’re going to have to deal with that shit that brought you to that point eventually—all the individual lessons that your soul is craving to learn and experience. Why would you snuff it out too soon? And of course you’re going to get feedback, Mom, on when is the right time to die? I mean, seriously, you will know. If you’re questioning suicide, guess what? It isn’t your time. If you have a doubt—even a small one—about whether to kill yourself, guess what, it isn’t your time. You’re fucking wrong. Don’t do it. And if you’re doing it really fast, because you think you’re a chicken ass when it comes time to die, guess what? You shouldn’t fucking do it.
Me: Mm hm.
Erik: You know when you’re finished! You know when you’re done. That’s like the elusive question: How do you know you’re in love? How do you know if you’re marrying the right person? It’s when you have no doubt that this is it. You have arrived. Then when you go to end your life—sorry I’m talking about this, because, culturally, people are going to really be pissed here—but when you go to end your life, it’s peaceful. It’s a release. It’s an acceptance—thinking of yourself for being—
Jamie: I was just looking up at him, saying, ‘Please watch your words here.’
Me: Mm hm!
Jamie: I just glared at him. Okay. (Clears throat in preparation)
Erik: It’s an acceptance to yourself that you are kind enough and understanding enough to forgive yourself. You already know you’re done.
Me: Well, I don’t think you were at that point. I think there was some hesitation or something on your part.
Erik (to Jamie): Do I have to tell the truth?
Jamie (to Erik): Hell, yeah you have to tell the truth!
Erik: I knew it was the answer. That I knew for sure, Mom. I totally knew it.
Me (somberly): Yeah.
Erik: And I was real comfortable with the idea. It didn’t bring me any anxiety. It didn’t, you know, make my heart race or freak my shit out.
Erik: But, you know, you’re right. I hesitated.
Me: Okay. So you didn’t think to do it real fast. It was just like you hesitated because–?
Jamie: He’s not saying anything. He’s just kind of looking. His eyes look really spacy. Glazed. You know how you’re thinking back on something?
Me: Uh huh. Is he just thinking? Are you thinking, Erik?
Erik: Yeah. I’m trying to think of the right way to describe it. It wasn’t that my life would be over. I had a clear understanding that everyone in my family would be okay. That didn’t weigh heavy on me at that time. I think I was just nervous about how—
Erik: —well, where I would end up.
Me: Did you think you’d go to Hell or did you believe in that sort of thing?
Me: Okay. Anything else on that?
Erik: I just knew that it’d be better than where I was.
Me (choking up): Aw, poor baby. (Pause) It ended up that way, didn’t it?
Erik: Yeah. I’m more at peace and alive than I ever had been.
Me: Yeah. That’s right. Any other reason you want to share that will convince people not to kill themselves when it’s before their time?
Erik: I just want to highlight the fact that if you’re teetering or waffling on the decision, then your death is fucking wrong. Delete that as being an option. And not only do you carry your baggage here with you, you create more shit for yourself, because you see and feel all the grief you leave behind. You need to look at ways to recreate what you have in your life. You know, a lot of times people feel like they’re at a dead end and they think that suicide is the answer when really they just haven’t giving themselves permission to—
Jamie: Ec– Oh, evacuate! (To Erik) What are you saying? I thought he said excavate.
Jamie and I chuckle.
Me: Permission to evacuate their bowels!
Erik: Evacuate their situation. They choose to stay in it and rot rather than pack their bags and leave. I think that 90% of all the people who have decided to commit suicide—if they chose to leave the situation that they’re in—physically change their environment—I believe that they would still be living and successfully enjoy what they’d consider balance in their life. Sometimes they just need a break from being human.
Me: Any other downside to suicide?
Erik: Yeah, you’re not finishing up your spiritual contract and that can fuck up a lot of shit. For example, maybe you were supposed to have a kid and that kid was supposed to find a cure for AIDS? If you die before you have that kid, a lot of people are going to die when they don’t have to. That will really fuck up your mind, and you have to work from this side to make all that happen. It’s much harder from here.
Me: So, are there a lot of people whose destiny it is to take their lives?
Erik: Fuck no! It’s very, very rare.
I hope that Erik’s words convince any of you who waiver on this decision to find the courage to continue with their life. To see the human experience as a precious opportunity to grow..
Please don’t forget to sign up for these two events occurring next Wednesday, June 19th:
Channel Erik, your guides, and your deceased loved ones through Jamie’s small group readings:
Join this very important web class, too. Being grounded is one of the most important things you must do to feel stable emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally.
For her other events, click here:
The journey on which you’re about to embark will take you through stories that are deeply personal and involves a relationship between a mother and her son.
As a physician raised by two atheists, I had no personal belief system about life after death. In a word, I was a confirmed skeptic. As my journey progressed, my mind opened. It is my sincerest hope that yours will open as well and that you will have a greater understanding of your own life and what’s to come ahead.
Although Erik sometimes paints a rosy picture of the afterlife, time and time again he stresses that suicide is not the answer to one’s problems. If you struggle, please understand that the information in my blog and my book is no substitute for professional help. Please click here for a list of resources for help when you find yourself considering taking your own life. Know that they are readily available when you feel that hopelessness and despair that many of us feel from time to time in our lives.
I refuse all donations and ad revenue on the blog. It is my dream to one day establish a nonprofit organization that delivers a variety of spiritual services for those who have lost loved ones to suicide and cannot afford that assistance on their own. It’s a mission of love, sacrifice, and dedication.
Love and light,