Why Stay?

Thank you all for your prayers. We surely needed them and still do. I’m so sorry I haven’t responded to comments to the posts, emails and Facebook messages. I still have a hard time seeing and there’s not much signal in the ICU. 

In this post, Erik gives his case against suicide. Hope you enjoy!

Me: Erik, you paint a great picture of death, right? Tell me something that would keep people from offing themselves.

Jamie laughs hard.

Jamie (to Erik): Pull it together, man! (To me) He’s just laughing.

Erik: Shit, I can’t think of something right now.

Erik (throwing his arms out over his knees): Well, we talked about the sadness of not being able to touch someone and that communication is different, so I would say what could keep you on Earth are the relationships you have with friends and family, because even though the bond isn’t broken when you pass over, the relationship really does redefine itself. You can’t just run up and see each other and embrace and sit down and have your coffee and chat.

I miss that.

Erik: Mom, I guess I’d say this: Do your shit now so you don’t have to come back and do it later.

Me: Mm hm.

Erik: Like, why are you putting off life? Mecca’s not going to be any sweeter for you.

Jamie (giggling): Mecca!

Me: Okay.

Jamie (laughing): He’s going, “Mecca-heiny-ho.

Me: Oh, well, I used to take my kids once a year to the Hyatt here in Houston just as a special treat. You know, we’d spend the might, jump on the beds, have pillow fights and order brownies a la mode from room service. So, at the restaurant there, they’d order this shake called Meka-heiny-hai or something like that. It was a Hawaiian thing, but the kids would joke and say, ”Make a heiny high.” They would laugh and laugh. That’s what he’s talking about..

Jamie: Oh my god!

Erik: Mom, you are really fun!

Me: It was so much fun. We had a blast. All right. Anything else on that? Don’t you take your problems with you?

Erik: Totally. Totally. I mean that’s why I said why would you put off life? You’re going to have to deal with that shit that brought you to that point eventually—all the individual lessons that your soul is craving to learn and experience. Why would you snuff it out too soon? And of course you’re going to get feedback, Mom, on when is the right time to die? I mean, seriously, you will know. If you’re questioning suicide, guess what? It isn’t your time. If you have a doubt—even a small one—about whether to kill yourself, guess what, it isn’t your time. You’re fucking wrong. Don’t do it. And if you’re doing it really fast, because you think you’re a chicken ass when it comes time to die, guess what? You shouldn’t fucking do it.

Me: Mm hm.

Erik: You know when you’re finished! You know when you’re done. That’s like the elusive question: How do you know you’re in love? How do you know if you’re marrying the right person? It’s when you have no doubt that this is it. You have arrived. Then when you go to end your life—sorry I’m talking about this, because, culturally, people are going to really be pissed here—but when you go to end your life, it’s peaceful. It’s a release. It’s an acceptance—thinking of yourself for being—

Jamie: I was just looking up at him, saying, ‘Please watch your words here.’

Me: Mm hm!

Jamie: I just glared at him. Okay. (Clears throat in preparation)

Erik: It’s an acceptance to yourself that you are kind enough and understanding enough to forgive yourself. You already know you’re done.

Me: Well, I don’t think you were at that point. I think there was some hesitation or something on your part.

Erik (to Jamie): Do I have to tell the truth?

Jamie (to Erik): Hell, yeah you have to tell the truth!

Erik: I knew it was the answer. That I knew for sure, Mom. I totally knew it.

Me (somberly): Yeah.

Erik: And I was real comfortable with the idea. It didn’t bring me any anxiety. It didn’t, you know, make my heart race or freak my shit out.

(Long pause)

Erik: But, you know, you’re right. I hesitated.

Me: Okay. So you didn’t think to do it real fast. It was just like you hesitated because–?

(Long pause)

Jamie: He’s not saying anything. He’s just kind of looking. His eyes look really spacy. Glazed. You know how you’re thinking back on something?

Me: Uh huh. Is he just thinking? Are you thinking, Erik?

Erik: Yeah. I’m trying to think of the right way to describe it. It wasn’t that my life would be over. I had a clear understanding that everyone in my family would be okay. That didn’t weigh heavy on me at that time. I think I was just nervous about how—

(Pause)

Erik: —well, where I would end up.

Me: Did you think you’d go to Hell or did you believe in that sort of thing?

Erik: Nah.

Me: Okay. Anything else on that?

Erik: I just knew that it’d be better than where I was.

Me (choking up): Aw, poor baby. (Pause) It ended up that way, didn’t it?

Erik: Yeah. I’m more at peace and alive than I ever had been.

Me: Yeah. That’s right. Any other reason you want to share that will convince people not to kill themselves when it’s before their time?

Erik: I just want to highlight the fact that if you’re teetering or waffling on the decision, then your death is fucking wrong. Delete that as being an option. And not only do you carry your baggage here with you, you create more shit for yourself, because you see and feel all the grief you leave behind. You need to look at ways to recreate what you have in your life. You know, a lot of times people feel like they’re at a dead end and they think that suicide is the answer when really they just haven’t giving themselves permission to—

Jamie: Ec– Oh, evacuate! (To Erik) What are you saying? I thought he said excavate.

Jamie and I chuckle.

Me: Permission to evacuate their bowels!

Erik laughs.

Erik: Evacuate their situation. They choose to stay in it and rot rather than pack their bags and leave. I think that 90% of all the people who have decided to commit suicide—if they chose to leave the situation that they’re in—physically change their environment—I believe that they would still be living and successfully enjoy what they’d consider balance in their life. Sometimes they just need a break from being human.

Me: Any other downside to suicide?

Erik: Yeah, you’re not finishing up your spiritual contract and that can fuck up a lot of shit. For example, maybe you were supposed to have a kid and that kid was supposed to find a cure for AIDS? If you die before you have that kid, a lot of people are going to die when they don’t have to. That will really fuck up your mind, and you have to work from this side to make all that happen. It’s much harder from here.

Me: So, are there a lot of people whose destiny it is to take their lives?

Erik: Fuck no! It’s very, very rare.

**********************************

I hope that Erik’s words convince any of you who waiver on this decision to find the courage to continue with their life. To see the human experience as a precious opportunity to grow..

Please don’t forget to sign up for these two events occurring next Wednesday, June 19th:

Channel Erik, your guides, and your deceased loved ones through Jamie’s small group readings:

Group Phone Reading

Join this very important web class, too. Being grounded is one of the most important things you must do to feel stable emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally.

How to Get and Stay Grounded

For her other events, click here:

Events

**********************************

Dear Reader,

The journey on which you’re about to embark will take you through stories that are deeply personal and involves a relationship between a mother and her son.

As a physician raised by two atheists, I had no personal belief system about life after death. In a word, I was a confirmed skeptic. As my journey progressed, my mind opened. It is my sincerest hope that yours will open as well and that you will have a greater understanding of your own life and what’s to come ahead.

Although Erik sometimes paints a rosy picture of the afterlife, time and time again he stresses that suicide is not the answer to one’s problems. If you struggle, please understand that the information in my blog and my book is no substitute for professional help. Please click here for a list of resources for help when you find yourself considering taking your own life. Know that they are readily available when you feel that hopelessness and despair that many of us feel from time to time in our lives.

I refuse all donations and ad revenue on the blog. It is my dream to one day establish a nonprofit organization that delivers a variety of spiritual services for those who have lost loved ones to suicide and cannot afford that assistance on their own. It’s a mission of love, sacrifice, and dedication.

Love and light,

Elisa

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Elisa Medhus


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  • Jen

    This is a very important read for a lot of people this week.

  • steveatl

    Hope everyone is on the mend and things are getting better. You are in my prayers, Elisa. Also – loved the validation from Jamie via that weird phrase Erik said. It’s good to have validation that this is real.

  • bebe

    I’m confused! I thought Erik said in a previous post (several posts, actually) that it WAS in his contract to end his life as he did.

  • Sam

    Dear Elisa,

    Maybe we could ask Erik if ” Nosso Lar aka Astral City: A Spiritual Journey (2010) ” is the most accurate movie created to date to describe the actual Afterlife environment? Could we also Erik if the spirit of André Luiz and the famous brazil medium Chico Xavier are existing on the other side? Are they real people or made up stories. When I saw the other topic on ” Working 9 to 5 in the Afterlife” Erik describes
    quote ”Like when we die and our energy is torn, they help us mend, they help us heal. And those doctors are also similar to teachers. They show us why this occurred, why the energy got messed up. Everybody works together.” Unquote
    I had to think back to the movie Nosso Lar, which depicted a healing hospital center for the newly diseased soul arriving back from Earth. Gosh if that movie speaks the truth.. it will break all grounds. I mean seriously.. it will break all grounds. (If you guys know what I mean).

  • Yes it was. He didn’t say anything to contradict that here.

    • radbirdz

      Me: So, are there a lot of people whose destiny it is to take their lives?
      Erik: Fuck no! It’s very, very rare.

      Hi Elisa – so would that mean that Erik contract was very rare?

  • whysohatefilled?
    • cristina

      impressed ! 🙂

  • keyoix

    Elisa, you are in my prayer and wish the best benevolent outcome for you and your family.

  • Stanley

    The timing of this is indeed interesting. As many on the blog know, this topic hits home for me. What Erik had to share is what I experienced. But I experienced both sides, hesitation and not. The first attempt I took the pills and went to bed like it was nothing. Thankfully I didn’t die, just slept for a long time. But the second time I was sitting with the open bottle in my hand. Thankfully my friend drove over and stopped me and sat with me at the hospital to get the depression/suicidal thoughts taken care of.
    For me, I did want to escape. I couldn’t stand the memories of my past anymore and I deeply missed my 3 friends who are in spirit. I was kicking myself for not taking a exit point I believe was a month or two ago if I remember right. During the night while sleeping my heart stopped. I soon found myself next to my bed looking down at myself. Behind me standing in my bedroom door way was Pam and Sandra. They said “Come on Stanley, it’s time to go home”. I can’t tell you how bad I wanted to go with them.
    But I told them I couldn’t leave yet. Not so suddenly. Not without saying any kind of goodbye or anything. They were sad, but understood. So after giving Pam and Sandra a hug I walked back over to my bed, and a few seconds later I woke up back in my body. I was a little tired, but otherwise no obvious effect to my body. So on Sunday the 2nd that’s what I was thinking when I took the pills and went to bed. I wanted to leave having left a note.
    In the end, I was hospitalized. I have been struggling for years with medications and none worked. The doctor during this stay found out why, I am ultra sensitive to psych meds. The three meds I am on are the lowest possible dose. And one, is 1mg and even that is to be cut in half. They actually work! 🙂 So wanted to say, if you have been having similar problems, see if the doc will try a very low dose, maybe your ultra sensitive to meds too!
    But yea, glad to still be here. And the day I came home from the hospital, another great thing happened, but that’s off topic from here. But had I taken my life, I wouldn’t have been around to enjoy the new situation. 🙂 Keep fighting everyone.

    • cristina

      i think the advice Erik gives, will be very useful for you 🙂
      “Erik: Evacuate their situation. They choose to stay in it and rot rather
      than pack their bags and leave. I think that 90% of all the people who
      have decided to commit suicide—if they chose to leave the situation that
      they’re in—physically change their environment—I believe that they
      would still be living and successfully enjoy what they’d consider
      balance in their life. Sometimes they just need a break from being
      human.”

      It will be a step-by-step process to drag yourself out of there, but you can do it if you really want. And is not mandatory to do it alone – people willing to care and help and love are everywhere, you just need to find those who are close to your way of feeling. You need to surround yourself only with the things you love , remember them and you need to go thru a healing process – but this time I am not talking about western medicine. Try Tibetan and Chinese medicine – you may not find the best doctors at the first try, but is worth looking for. They got me out from physical and psychological troubles few times 🙂 And after finding some spiritual answers, I understand what I was going thru – like Erik understood what he was going thru (connecting and disconnecting from the Source), but only after he died.
      My point is – if is your destiny (contract) to search for those spiritual values, you have to at least try – and try to make it fun and pleasant for you. Friends are everywhere, you just have to be ready to see them 🙂

      I know I tend to give unrequested advices – so i really apologize if I am only annoying instead of being helpful ! 🙂 Just ignore me if I’m annoying 🙂

  • cristina

    True Jen ! 🙂 heard so many bad news lately, people need to be reminded to simply look at the bright side instead of looking at the dark thoughts 🙂 is a 50%-50% choice 🙂

  • cristina

    this is very bright Erik 🙂
    “Erik: Evacuate their situation. They choose to stay in it and rot rather
    than pack their bags and leave. I think that 90% of all the people who
    have decided to commit suicide—if they chose to leave the situation that
    they’re in—physically change their environment—I believe that they
    would still be living and successfully enjoy what they’d consider
    balance in their life. Sometimes they just need a break from being
    human.”

    You may be only 20, but this is very wise advice 🙂 – like an old man who knows how life really is 🙂

  • lissy

    Hi I was wondering if someone dies suddenly if they become confused as to weather they’re dead or not?? Also if you get quiet and think of guides/angels and the air gets kinda buzzy around you does that mean they are around you? Elisa is it ok if I send Erik and yourself reiki everyday? Some say it’s ok to do without the persons knowing some say only send with the persons concent.

  • MikeHulse

    The thing missing from this (and speaking from personal experience) once you have crossed that line to attempt to take your own life. It becomes very easy to fall into that trap again in the future. It’s that selfish thought of being at that point and thinking for a moment can I do this. When you answer that question honestly that you can, it makes it so much more difficult in the future to pull yourself away from carrying it through again. It’s like those that have NDE’s. Once you experience an OOBE, you have lost that inbuilt fear of death that we all have.

  • lilcalichick86

    here is what i dont understand. in his last last paragraph about the suicide topic, erik talks about not completing your contract to have a kid and the kid is supposed to do such and such and since he doesnt…people die.
    first of all- doesnt that just take a giant dump on free will? i dont understand how you really have free will if your soul has a contract here on earth. are some peoples contracts “looser” and others are more specific? that sounds more like predestination to me, which makes me feel like a puppet for my higher self.
    secondly- why does it matter if people die if we are all eternal souls anyway? isnt everyone just here to “experience”? it sounds kinda like the universe putting all their eggs in one basket. you would think that since it is so intelligent, it would have some backup plans, eh?

  • Hyla Mendez

    This was said Perfectly by the Man! In my opinion…. Balanced, truth.
    Thank you Mr Erik. U r Devine dahling…. 🙂

  • Josefine Mutzenbacher

    Can evil spirits, ghosts or demons hold you back after you kill yourself?

    From what I’ve understood evil humans or spirits can be around us all the time and manipulate people’s emotions and thoughts and if you kill yourself they can trap you in limbo in the afterlife.
    Hold you back from crossing over, so to speak.

    I don’t have any family and all my so-called friends are just a bunch of junkie scumbags, alcoholics or egocentric BASTARDS who cares only about themselves.
    I don’t even have a home and nobody gives a shit if i have to stay out even at winter.

    I’ve never felt at home in this world that i despise and I’ve never understood the human race ’cause i find it so primitive and selfish.

    So… I think the only thing that holds me back from splattering my brains all over the walls is the fear of being held back in the afterlife by spirits with sinister intentions.

    I think there’s an evil force following me and I’ve heard of an old curse over my family put there by some scumbag gypsies like a 100 years ago.
    It’s just unfair and I just want whoever who’s hanging over me and giving me all this bad luck to fucking leave so I can kill myself in peace and not walk the earth as a restless, trapped soul submissive to some jerk-off demon or whatever.

    How does that work?

  • First of all, you do have friends. Us. Second, I bet you are a Starseed. They never feel like they belong. You may also be a teacher. They often feel lonely because students come in and out of their lives but never stay. Third, there are many ways to protect yourself from evil spirits. One is just to tell them to go away, believe it or not. They’re attracted to negative energy so trying to be less negative often helps. I think you need to ask Erik who this spirit is, why they are around you, what their intentions are and how to make them go away. Also ask if you’re a Starseed (although you can look up “Starseed Quiz” to get an idea). Ask what you’re here to do, what past life is influencing the current one, what you should do to make your life better, etc. There’s a conference call on the 28th. I’d join that ASAP.

  • lilcalichick86

    i understand. i struggle with being here every.fucking.day. everyone else seems to have their own lives going on, families that love them, friends that understand them…and ive always been on the outside. not understanding how people could hurt each other or be so brutal to animals. Its like everyone else has their little pods and bubbles of people and life- and i dont fit. especially not now, i really dont think its helpful that i woke up to the fact that i am an alien, i think it made it worse. i seriously feel like i am undergoing some sort of punishment here, like i got thrown down to hell to clean it up. everyone else is partying and numb and clueless….and im shoveling shit. its like constantly window shopping but not being able to buy anything or having everything you try on not fit. i used to love people, i used to enjoy exploring life…that was before i had a spontaneous kundalini awakening that did nothing but bring up every trauma and pain i had and disconnect me from friends and family. i watched as i was ripped away from each person i held dear and then replaced in their lives, which doesnt exactly make me feel like im needed here…i lost everything i ever knew to be true and loved all because of a soul contract. now i feel like i want to crawl in a hole and hide because im so misunderstood, sensitive and weird- i have become everything ive ever not wanted to be. I dont know the extent of my contract, but how am i supposed to ever trust “myself/higherself” if it has put me through such intense trauma and heartbreak after heartbreak- the amount of loss ive endured in my life is unspeakable. Nothing to hold onto, always bettering others lives and counseling and helping others, but what do i get here?Every contact i get with people lately is just a blip, the person comes and goes and everything moves really fast, theres nothing lasting around me and i just feel manipulated- which doesnt feel like love to me and something i will never understand about spirit. I dont understand how im supposed to BE love to these people when i have never FELT loved the right way here… im not sure that there is such a thing as happiness here for starseeds. theres just always an intense longing to go home. It brings up an intense hatred for myself and for god- maybe that doesnt make sense, but its here. Being stuck inbetween heaven and earth like this might as well be the “limbo/purgatory” that people talk about. living in both worlds, but not really having the best of either. Knowing theres something better and a place that isnt traumatizing, but being stuck here “holding the light” while looking like i just went off my rocker because my whole belief system changed to everything i ever hated might as well be torture.
    i dont think evil spirits can hold you back from crossing over- you can always get help crossing over. and you can do a sage cleansing of yourself if u want it off you right now. if its a generational thing, you can break that with some help.

    • dollparts

      I know where you’re coming from…sadly identified with your whole paragraph. Especially being on the outs, loveless.. I have 0 friends and can’t connect with people. I’m wondering if I have some sort of intimacy or avoidance disorder (and if I do, was it planned?). Either way, it seems like I’ll be on my own, so I’m trying to learn to love myself as a loner. Enjoy the solitude (which everyone’s gotta do anyway). Good luck to you. PS- random, but I also live in Cali. SoCal.

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