I just got back into town late last night after a wonderful Spring Break with my husband and two of my kids. We skied (cross country and alpine,) and because the light was so flat in both types of skiing, I had a hard time seeing the terrain, particularly on the steep ski slopes. Well, actually they were green trails but I felt like they were cliffs. I swallowed my feelings of terror and slid down those “cliffs” nervously while everyone else was zipping fearlessly on either side. I discovered that as hard as I dug them into the snow, ski poles are not very effective brakes.At one point, I crossed the tips of my skis and performed a beautiful gymnastics move rivaling anything you’ve seen at the Winter Olympics. I love giving my family a good laugh. After that, I decided to cut my losses and sit in the lodge, waiting for my family to finish the last of their runs. 

On the front porch of our cabin, we sighted a røyskatt, a little animal that most Norwegians see a handful of times in their lives. They look a bit like ferrets. He was so cute going in and out of our trash bag grabbing all sorts of leftovers and ended up hauling off a piece of half-eaten pizza. Not a staple of his diet, but he seemed to be very excited about his big catch. 

During my stay, a journalist from a spirituality magazine in Norway interviewed me for several hours, then, toward the end of the vacation, the documentary producers who filmed Jamie and me about a month ago here in the States came for a visit, staying overnight. They’re so nice and so like-minded that we’ve become close friends. In our conversation, I found out that Depaak Chopra, Dean Radin, Naseem Haramein, Eben Alexander and other famous people are part of the same documentary. Apparently the first part involves the quantum physics of spiritual matters. Then it delves into the nature of consciousness itself and finally ends up with the Channeling Erik story, that final bridge between the two initial parts and what happens in the afterlife. The fact that our communication with a spirit is ongoing and current as well as the fact that Erik speaks so directly and casually makes it more appealing than previous communications with other spirits like Seth. In the end, they think that Erik is the new Seth and even went so far as to say that the information he imparts is like the new Bible. That’s a stretch, but… In other words, they think that we’re part of something huge and you’re all a part of it. 

Another story: while I was in Norway, one of my relatives said that Erik came through during one of Lisa William’s (a famous medium) big channeling events. I think 800-900 people in the audience. Lisa said that he was very persistent on communicating with my nephew, Jarle, who was in the audience. Classic Erik. I’m going to find out more details when I talk to him. 

Today’s post is courtesy of medium, Kate Sitka. Thanks Kate! For anyone interested in channeling a loved one, I highly recommend her. 

In the wake of a death, there are so many common experiences that I see with friends and clients, and I find myself going through the same things.   Sometimes those things feel unnecessarily cruel or painful. So many people ask, “Why would a person act like that, at a time like this?”

This transforms into one of the commonly asked questions I hear in my practice: “Does (my loved one in Heaven) see how ____ is behaving? What does s/he think about that? Does s/he have advice for me on how to handle it?”

Whenever I feel like there’s excessive drama in my life, I like to hit the drama button. It puts things into perspective.

Then I asked Erik what he thinks about the energy-sucking toilet of drama that forms around loved ones during times of stress.

Erik: People in pain are assholes. They just are. That’s because the pain for them blots out everything else – any sense of empathy for others, and they *can’t* care about the fallout of their actions, because people in pain need that pain relief *right now*, and when they act like assholes, they get to spread their pain around. There is a sick kind of relief in that.

(Shows me monkeys in a zoo, whipping their crap at each other.)

When you get hit with someone else’s shit, it hurts! Now you’re in pain – you smell like shit, it kinda stung when it hit you, it’s sort of humiliating, and every human’s first instinct is to whip that shit right back at the asshole who threw it at you! This is because we all have inner monkey assholes who just want to throw shit at other people because it gives you a bit of relief, or a sense of control. Maybe they can’t get out of their cage, but they can throw shit through the bars and affect other people.

It’s a lot like addiction. It’s the same cause. People in pain will do, say, try ANYTHING to get just a bit of relief, even if they know it could make the pain worse down the road. Definition of an asshole: someone who doesn’t give a shit about the shit their shit causes. Talk about being in the moment – people in severe pain are locked into *this second*. Right now they’re hurting and they’ll reach for the nearest thing to cope, whether it’s a needle or a telephone to stir up some shit. Anything to make ‘em feel better, or just give them the *hope* that they can get away from their pain.

Kate: So how should we deal with shit that’s getting thrown our way?

Erik: Shit stinks, that’s it’s job. Your job is not to throw shit in return, DO NOT add new shit to the mix. See, ‘cause the whole reason that other monkey is throwing his shit is because he can’t handle it. Shit-chucking is really a temper tantrum screaming for help, because they can’t handle it, so here, YOU take some!

Kate: Advice?

Erik: Yeah, so advice from the afterlife: from here, all the drama goes away. All we can see from here is the energy around a person that’s causing them to act like a complete spaz.

Kate: “Spaz!” Haven’t heard that one in a while!

Erik: You know, “Don’t have a cow” – the 80s has the best sarcasm. Like, totally.

I really like to say “spaz”, you know, or “total fucking nut-wit”. You pick.

So the spaz-field, (shows me the energy / aura around a spaz and it looks mustardy, it has a lot of tendrils feathering off of it, leaking out into the environment, it reminds me of a malignant tumour.) We can see the spaz-field before we even see the person inside. When someone asks us like, “Why this bitch be so crazy?” The simple answer is, they’re in pain. Just look at that huge spaz field. Look out.

People can act like assholes, and it’s different from *being* an asshole. A born asshole has a life / soul contract to challenge other people. That’s not what we’re talking about. I’m talking about people who start to behave like assholes because they can’t handle their shit, and it’s causing them a lot of pain, so they’re deaf and blind to the suffering their own behaviour causes for other people, and they CERTAINLY aren’t capable of rational or logical thought.

So you have to cut the assholes in your life a lot of slack, which is really tough because it seems like the last thing they deserve.

THAT there, that last thing I said, that’s the key to this whooooooole solution.

Kate: There’s a solution? I was half-expecting you to say “turn the other cheek” or “put up with it.”

Erik: Nah, that only works when people aren’t actively directing their shit AT you. Here we go:

#1. Don’t be victimized. Even if the person in pain is being unfair, irrational and stirring up shit for you and others. You can experience the pain (shows me a zen dude meditating, symbol for accepting without judging.) The very first thing people want to do when they get hit with shit is to *feel* hurt. And once you’ve fallen into the trap of thinking “this other person HURT me” then you’re off on a runaway drama train.

#2. Call it like it is. It helps to write shit down if you have to, just make it a list of how YOU are feeling, not evil things this other person supposedly did. And I say “supposedly” for a reason, because you are not IN that other person’s head! It might look like selfish / self-absorbed / destructive behaviour to you, but this *makes sense* to the asshole, they’re getting relief from THEIR pain. And remember that they’re in so much pain, they’re incapable of thinking about how they’re adding to the pain of others. It doesn’t even register on their radar, so you can’t be angry with them, you’ll just feed it and create more misery!

#3. Love that asshole right through their bullshit. People in pain don’t get out of pain by having their shit returned to them, plus more. The only thing you can do to break this shit-throwing cycle is just wipe off their shit and acknowledge the other monkey’s pain. “I see by the shit you have flung at me that you’re in pain.”

#4 – Optional, and this is where it gets tricky: Try to help them. If you can, if it doesn’t suck you into the drama, or feed it. Just ask yourself, “Is there anything I can do to help this person’s burden of pain?” Because that’s what we’re fucking here to do, be humane to the humans. You know, I can’t believe I have to say this sometimes. This is where food comes in for a lot of people.

Food is like saying, “I know things were said, shit was flung, and instead of returning your shit, here’s a casserole that will make one night a little easier.”

And another thing! There is no *right* way to be in pain. Humans like to moralize at each other about how other humans should behave, and sure we need laws like “don’t murder” but that kind of thinking can poison families in pain.

Because NONE of us who have lived or are living in human bodies have *not* been an asshole in moments of pain. This is why teenagers can be such assholes – it’s a really painful time for people.

Kate: Why is adolescence so painful for some people?

Erik: For some teen or (shudder) “tween” people, they’re getting all of the spiritual, physical and adult problems but none of the power and control that full adults have. And no one likes to take a kid in pain seriously – the first reaction they get is an energetic eye roll. “You don’t have problems, kid. Just wait ‘till yer grown!” That’s the shittiest thing to do to a kid, or anyone, is to just ignore their pain – no wait, worse, to tell them it doesn’t exist.

But it’s shitty because this treatment of young people sets them up to be assholes to other people in pain too. There you have it, the cycle of assholery!

Kate: And the only way to break the cycle is to love them through it? I get that, and I also get that it’s hard for people in pain themselves, grieving, to get up out of their own pain enough to be capable of being the “bigger person” you know?

Erik: It’s not that hard, and the beauty part is that SOMETIMES, being the “bigger person” like you say actually gives YOU more relief from your own pain than you would have had otherwise. Sometimes other people tossing some shit at you is a gift, because it forces you to detach from your own shit and deal with this stuff getting thrown at you.

Kate: Then you realize your own shit is not so bad?

Erik: Yeah and then you also realize that experiencing your own shit as shit is optional. You can let that shit go, man. The easiest shit to let go of is your own.

Kate: Huh. So sometimes people flinging their own pain at you can help you detach from your own pain?

Erik: Yeah, and it forces you to grow up. You can even be like, “Thank you for this experience.”

Kate: Thank you for this shit?

Erik: You can sink to their (shitty) level, or you can literally rise above the shit. Your choice.

(toilet flushing)

Kate Sitka is an animal communicator and spirit medium in Tofino, BC. You can find her blog, podcast and website at tofinopsychic.com