Here’s an oldie but a goldie from one of the early stages of the blog. This in the early days when Kim O’Neill was the medium who channeled Erik. She’s very good, but I just couldn’t afford to use her for frequent sessions, especially giving the fact that I refuse any form of compensation for what Erik and I do. What’s kind of cool is that Erik talks about how he and I are going to write a book together even though, in those early stages of profound grief, that was no where in my radar. Before you start reading, though, I’d like to announce that the book’s publication date has changed. Click HERE for the link. If you preorder, the price will be set, and it’s very possible that it will go up after its release. For now, it’s available in paperback and Kindle, but it will be in other formats later. It’ll also be available in multiple online and brick-and-mortar stores. I hope those of you who haven’t preordered do so for now. The number of preorders is an important factor when Amazon decided how many to have on hand and the first book was sold out in a matter of hours.
‘Okay, Erik, that’s a deal! Now why were you treated differently from other suicides?’
“Oh, because I wasn’t separated from everyone, and I was allowed to move around freely with everybody else, right? Is that what you mean, Mom?”
Kim laughs, saying, “He’s shrugging and saying, ‘Hell if I know!’”
Hmm. Another empty answer. As wise as he’s become as a discarnate soul, I suppose no one, short of God Herself, knows it all.
I probe for more clarification: ‘Well some people kill themselves because they lost a job or lost an investment, whatever, but some kill themselves because they want to end the pain from a troubling disease like cancer or depression. It’s my understanding that those suicides are treated a little bit differently or at least more leniently than those who take their lives for more trivial, superficial or material reasons.’
“Yes, sometimes those aren’t even considered suicide over here. And sometimes it’s someone’s destiny to commit suicide, because that itself is a form of human experience,” he says knowingly.
“If I had stayed there I could have contributed so much more. And when I first got to Heaven I had this terrible regret and remorse. I think that answers your question, Mom. That wasn’t the soundest decision I could have made. That’s why my therapy s being conducted while I’m going around doing whatever I wanna do instead of in a segregated place. I already knew it was a mistake and regretted it and that’s half the battle there,” he adds.
Are you making progress forgiving yourself?’ I ask.
Kim sees him with that mischievous charming smile on his face as he says,
“I’m working on that. When we talk like we’ve been doing every day, Mom, and when we work on the book together, that’s how I’m going to be able to forgive myself. Because it won’t be such a waste. I can give back. I can contribute. That makes up for my selfishness. It has nothing to do with you forgiving me, Mom. I know you already have.”
Touched, I tell him, ‘Oh, yeah. Of course I do, Sweetie. All I care about is your happiness, even if it causes me pain. You’ve found the peace, direction and joy you never had here on the earthly plane, so for that, I’d sacrifice anything.’
“Mom, you’re helping to heal me!” he says.
‘Good, and you’re helping to heal me too, Erik! It’s the blind leading the blind!’
I know my sweet Erik is no cross-legged, mountain top guru. After all, God remains a mystery—for now—and we still have no earthly idea what the hokey pokey is all about, but he is a profoundly caring soul who longs to make up for his selfishness by bringing light and love to others.
