Empress Kristina has given me permission to post today while she migrates everything to a new hosting service. You may also make whatever comments you wish until she gives us the orders to cease and desist! I’ll let you know when and if those orders are issued.
Blog member, Paul Crockett, a talented artist and attorney, (yeah, I know, right?) created this picture of Erik and me, and it just filled me with light and joy. I’m sure you will see why:
Mama and Son
This picture of me was taken in 2008. God how I’ve aged since. Erik’s death has taken at least 10 years off of my life. Whenever we used to beg one of my sisters to stop smoking, she’d respond: “What, so I can lose ten years off of my life? Hell, those are the crappy ones anyway.” True, but my ten years were taken smack dab in the middle of my life. That sucks. Plus I don’t smoke, so…
Paul, also creator of the blog, Death is an Imposter, and clearly a gifted channel, added this in his email to me:
And if you’re wanting a caption, or the heart of the matter, here it is: “Tell Mom, and it’s important that she get this: Hey! I don’t have to miss her!” He grins from ear-to-ear, then settles into a more serious, thoughtful look. “If she can grow to trust in that, it will go easier for her.”
Oh, and one more thing: it’s not from me alone. That boy of yours was all over it. He wouldn’t let me sleep last night, until it was done. And he stood over my shoulder, watching. He really thought it was cool that we could do something together that you would actually be able to hold in your hand, the next day.
“I’d imagine you could tell me a thing or two about that,” I laughed and “thought” to him.
Just a couple of things I feel that he wanted to really get across. From him to you: The first is intangible, but not. Never underestimate his compassion for you, is part of it. He wanted to remind you of that, lest you get to feeling alone. He doesn’t like it when that happens. He fully understands, of course. But.
Then he gets this sort of mock serious tone. “She’s my Mom, yeah. (YEAH!!) But that doesn’t mean I can’t take care of her every once in a while.” “Really,” he exclaims when I don’t stand up, clap my hands, and shout “Hallelujah!” “I am whole again,” he pronounces. “No parts missing, see?”
And anyway, “If this isn’t a two-way street, then what in the Hell is it?” he asked rhetorically. “What, a cosmic traffic jam?” He laughed so hard at his own bad jokes, that it made me chuckle.
Something else, close to the heart of the matter and beneath just about everything else he’s about: there is a pride he takes in you, but that simple word, a 5- letter symbol, might be understood as one of those tiny birthday candles, in comparison to the epic REALITY and FORCE of the glowing sun, of the reality he would express. He feels SO blessed that, of all the souls in the whole world, he got YOU as his MOM! He just beams.
Love Love Love
Paul
God, how I love Paul and, of course, my sweet Erik. Check out Paul’s other art at http://growingintothemystery.
Thank you Mary and Paul. I love you both to bits.And now, please enjoy this poignant creation by blog member, Mary Wallace. When she sings her lyrics, she echos my thoughts. I’m sure some of you will share that sentiment. And sharing in this pain is just one of the ways we find our connection. Naturally, Love is another.
