I’m so excited that several people have signed up for our little lunch get together February 7th. I can’t wait to meet you guys! 

On another note, I see that some of you are posting duplicate comments. I realize that you don’t see your comment right away, but I promise I approve them so that they appear. By the way, I don’t ever censor them unless they’re vicious attacks. I know that these can be fodder for interesting conversations, but they just hurt me too much. 

Uncertainty is the root of fear

Distrust is the root of uncertainty

Scarcity is the root of distrust

Hostility is the root of scarcity

Sorrow is the root of hostility

Attachment is the root of sorrow

Fear is the root of attachment

Chaos is the root of all

Harmony is the equal opposite of chaos

 All of my life, I’ve searched for balance. Pain vs. contentment and joy. Peace vs. conflict and drama. Without that balance, my life was in chaos. In the quieter moments of my life, however rare, I’ve attained that balance, but only while feeling like I was walking on a tightrope in high heels across the Grand Canyon. I don’t do well in high heels, and I have the bruises on my knees and elbows to prove it. But when I do feel balanced, I know in the depths of my soul what the human experience should be like at its best. I know harmony.

Me: You say chaos is the root of all. Can you explain?

Erik (Rolling his eyes): Shit.

Me (chuckling): You don’t like answering this one, huh?

Erik: Well chaos is so hard to describe because I think people have so many really different ideas about what it is. It’s not like I want to take those ideas away from people. I just want to pry things open a little and say, “Hey, there might be a different option here.” When there’s anything inside of you, whether it’s a thought or an emotion or something physical, even an illness or whatever, we’re looking at mind, emotion, body and soul, the energy. Anything you feel that’s not balanced for you is going to show up as chaos. It feels like something is misplaced whether it’s abundance or the lack of it or whatever. You just don’t feel in balance. Many people don’t see themselves as the orchestrator of their life. They consider themselves the manager.

He shows an image of this janitor moving the garbage can, the mop and the broom down the hallway. (He says in an exasperated voice) “Ah, what do I have to take care of now?”

Erik: Yeah, it’s constantly, “Clean up on aisle nine.” You have to take care of all these things, and some people will see that as a great burden, not a joy. If they see it as a burden, they feel it as this chaotic feeling. When I bring up the word, “balance,” if people are looking at it logically, they want to make it a 50:50.

Me: Mm hm.

Erik: But we are emotional beings, and the word, “balance,” when we’re our true emotional self, is an emotional state of being. Balance has nothing to do with logic or numbers or beliefs. It only occurs when someone finds their joy.

Me: It’s a sense of comfort.

Erik: Yeah, and what I’m trying to get at is when you’re looking at balance being an emotional state of being, it doesn’t have to be 50:50. It could be 70:30, but if you’re happy, you’re balanced. That is your balance. Fuck the numbers. Then all the people around you will be like, (in a sugary, whiny, girly voice) “Oh, you’re doing too much. That’s not right. You’re being taken advantage of. You’re being manipulated. You’re being a pushover. You’re not being paid enough.”

Me: But if you’re comfortable with it, you know…

Erik: Right! These outside voices challenge you to fall back into the logical understanding of the 50:50 equality type of balance, and that’s not going to work.

Me: So you’re saying that one person’s sense of balance can be another person’s sense of imbalance.

Erik: Hell-yay-us.

Me: So ultimately, when you find that balance, you reach harmony, the equal opposite of chaos.

Erik: Yes. Harmony is that emotional balance. When you’re asking yourself if you’re in balance, you have to ask if you’re in harmony. You have to ask yourself if you’re happy. You might have it all perfectly fucking orchestrated and be miserable. Then you’re not doing yourself justice at all.

Me: Well then why would you say it’s perfectly orchestrated when obviously you’re not balanced?

Erik: I’m saying you might believe it’s perfectly orchestrated.

Me: Oh, I see.

Erik: The kids get picked up here, and this happens there, and I got my work done, and here’s my deadline, and (sticking out his tongue, saying in a whiny voice) nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah.

I chuckle.

Erik: But that might not be your balance. That might not be your harmony. That might not be your happiness.

Me: Mm hmm.

Erik: People fuck themselves every day, and they don’t even know it.

Me: Absolutely.

God, am I one of them?

Enough seriousness. Time for a little humor. I know this has nothing to do with spirituality, but I can’t resist posting this! These two kids are arguing over rain. I love the peacemaker in the middle.