Not really, but he gave me the headline, so…..    

It’s too bad there’s no photo to go with it; what a visual that would be. Instead…Bugs Bunny, who helps us say hello to Elisa; “What’s Up, Doc?”

Since she is seeing an eye doctor over these few days, she can say it, too.

(For any readers not familiar, this is the Substitute Teacher. I stood in for Elisa when she needed weekends off. If you were already aware, you may erase the last sentence from memory.)

 ST = Substitute Teacher and Erik

 ST:       Erik, long time no post here but it’s good to be back with you.

Erik:     You’ve been posting plenty over on your own chalkboard, dude.

ST:       Your mother’s getting her night vision corrected. So she can see the big bad wolf better, right?

Erik:     I should tell a big bad wolf joke, but I won’t.

ST:       She’s gonna be fine with the eyesight?

Erik:     Let’s see……

ST:       (Face palm) Pretty good, man.

Erik:     (Blows out a stream of cigar smoke) Better than the big bad wolf joke.

ST:       OK go ahead, tell it.

Erik:     Once upon a time, three little pigs went into bar.

ST:       Aren’t they too young?

Erik:     They have fake identification.

ST:       We’re supposed to be serious and discuss spiritual subjects.

Erik:     Sirius is spiritual; it’s a star. So the first little piggy orders a martini and….

ST:       What kind of cigar are you smoking?

Erik:     A burning one.

ST:       A piglet ordering a martini?

Erik:     He’s gonna gin up the crowd.

ST:       This is supposed to be a big bad wolf joke.

Erik:     He’s the bartender.

ST:       OK, enough of this. A reader wanted to know about human brain limitations to emotions, caused by endorphins and other cerebral hormones and my friends gave an answer. How about you weigh in; what limits do we have with human brains to emotions?

Erik:     The second little piggy orders a beer.

ST:       (This joke isn’t very good)

Erik:     Not yet, it isn’t. You’re like an empty doctor’s office.

ST:       Right; ’cause I have no patients; wonk wonk.

Erik:     (Snickering like Curly of The Three Stooges) Wanna cigar?

ST:       So what about emotions?

Erik:     Emotions or feelings, whatever you wanna call ‘em, aren’t any different on Earth except the effects cause a physical feeling in the body, which we don’t have. So it’s easy to think an emotion in Heaven is better and it could be, but the body and its sensations really add to it, make it a lot more real.

ST:       Heavenly emotions aren’t real?

Erik:     They are, but not as much, ‘cause there aren’t circumstances to mix in. All the unconditional love doesn’t replace the emotion in a body. So that’s one big purpose of an Earth life.

ST:       Are emotions really the cause of physical ailments?

Erik:     Yup, in fact most of ’em. If people felt better or took different attitudes towards things, there would be less sickness.

ST:       My doctor once told me improved diets would close half the hospitals in any given city, so what about that?

Erik:     Diet is mostly the effect of emotions anyway.

ST:       Are all these government scandals in the USA going to turn into anything?

Erik:     Not really, more complaining and a little bit of cutback. Bigger shit’s goin’ on anyway.

ST:       Like what?

Erik:     Like the financial crap.

ST:       Worse than dog crap.

Erik:     Yeah, if you could just wipe up financial shit like the real thing…

ST:       One thing I’ve always wanted to know; when things seem like they’re gonna crack, things are gonna break and there’s no way out, there is but…how do you show yourself you’re gonna get through it?

Erik:     You don’t; that’s why you have Guardian Angels.

ST:       Were they around to stop you when your moment came?

Erik:     Yes, they were but they didn’t stop me. They wouldn’t have; old agreement not to.

ST:       How often do Angels stop people or save them from bad things?

Erik:     As long as it isn’t interference with the life plan, they do it a lot. They made the plan with you.

ST:       Are most of life’s disappointments also scheduled?

Erik:     A lot, about half I’d say. Depends on the person, not an easy thing to answer.

ST:       Anything you want to say to the crowd? Any messages?

Erik:     Thanks everyone for supporting my mother, it makes me so happy and proud to see what she’s done.

ST:       (No big bad wolf joke, not yet…)

Erik:     I. Can. Read. Your. Thoughts!

ST:       The Committee told me this is one of the big alien problems; humans’ll figure out aliens mostly read what we think. Is that right?

Erik:     Oh, hell yes.

ST:       The idea aliens gave military technology that would be turned against them, could that happen?

Erik:     Nope; first they wouldn’t if they could but they can’t, ‘cause humans wouldn’t know what the hell to do with the things they’d see.

ST:       So the idea we’d harm aliens is BS?

Erik:     Yup, pretty much. They won’t expose themselves to threats and besides, they can get from a star cluster like Pleiades to Earth in what, an hour and a half but they can’t deal with US? Hardee har har. It’d be like thinking we have these killer peanut shells to threaten the ants. Then the alien elephant shows up and we toss the killer peanut shells and it turns out the aliens are like Godzilla powerful.

ST:       I thought Godzilla movies were dumb.

Erik:     The Spaghetti Westerns of Japan.

ST:       We didn’t cover much spiritual ground.

Erik:     Yeah we did; what, like I’m not? Whoa, dude….

ST:       Thanks for coming Erik and for the well known people you bring through.

Erik:     They like it, let me tell you. Later, man…