Erik always had a big heart. Even as a small child, he’d lavish everyone with love and affection. When he entered middle school, showing such love became difficult, of course. This is when he began to learn that such feelings, such behavior, leaves one’s heart vulnerable to attack. So to protect himself, he developed a tough outer shell of machismo: he wore heavy chains and leather bracelets with studs, he got into fist fights, he started using curse words (and never stopped.)

And so began the darkness. It crept into his life like a toxic infection sucking the light from his heart and soul. But this darkness was still no match for the love within. Let me tell you all a story that highlights this perfectly. His sister, Michelle, only just shared it with us day before yesterday.  She and Erik were so close, they may as well have been twins.

Michelle had a few tragic romances as only teenagers can collect. When she was 18, she met Chris, the “love of her life,” and vowed to marry him only a week or two after they met. This was not a happy announcement for my husband and I, because Chris…well, you know those guys who, at 30, are still living in their parent’s basement playing X-Box and smoking pot all night while skateboarding and drinking beer all day? If only he had such aspirations. Now, he’s behind bars. I guess 18 year old girls don’t have the best judgment sometimes.

When Michelle and Chris broke off their engagement, she shared her tragic story with Erik as they drove home together. Naturally, she began to sob, as this was to mark the end of life as she knew it. Back home, my husband and I were also crying back, but ours were tears of relief and joy. No sooner had Michelle begun to cry than Erik joined in. He held her and sobbed with her the entire way home. It was as if he had been the victim of the breakup.

When someone’s heart broke, Erik’s broke as well. If someone he cared about felt pain, so did he. What courage it takes to feel the pain of others. It’s hard enough to bear the weight of one’e own troubles without taking on

the grief of others. Such a heavy burden for a young, loving, sensitive boy. I supposed that eventually, it got the best of him.