In the beginning of this channeling session, I asked about the hardships one of our family friends had to endure during much of her youth. For obvious reasons, I’ve changed her name to protect her privacy. But I share this with you, because many of us struggle with adversity at some time in our lives, and having a proper perspective can make all the difference. 

Jamie: Well, no smells today from Erik, thank goodness, but when I was getting ready in the dark today, because my kids have a little cold so they’re sleeping in and not going to school—

Me: Uh huh.

Jamie (chuckling): I looked over, and he was standing there laughing at me!

Me (laughing): Aw!

Jamie: I said, “Erik, what are you doing?” He’s like, “Oh, no, this time you called me.” And I said, “I did?” He goes, “Yeah! When you got up, you mentioned you were excited that this was your first appointment today!”

Me: Oh, how sweet!

Jamie: So I was like, “Yeah, I did do that! I called you?” So he says, “Yeah, I totally came for that,” and I said, “Oh, sorry for thinking you were about to punk me. I guess it was my bad this morning!”

Me: Well, that’s a new one! Okay, my dear, shall we start?”

Jamie: Yeah, sure.

Me (in a sappy, motherly tone): Hi Erik!

Erik: Hi Mom.

Me (in an even more sugary tone): Hi Sweetie; I miss you and love you so much.

Erik: Mom, that’s the same way you talk to the dogs!

Jamie and I laugh.

Me: I know. It’s true. Okay, let’s see. The first thing I want to ask about is this. I noticed you’re using a lot fewer curse words.

Erik: Hey, I’m finally catching on that it’s rude.

Me: Oh, okay, good! Who’s been fussing at you about it?

Jamie: He says his grandmother.

Me: You mean Pappa’s mother, Bestemor?

Erik: Yeah.

Me: Well of course, that’s the only grandmother over there, unless it’s one from another life or something.

Erik: Uh uh. This life.

Me: Okay.

(Here, I describe the specifics about Lori’s life and the obstacles and heartache she faced.)

Erik: It’s not about her coming full circle.

Me: Why not?

Erik: For her, it’s about letting go, not fighting to make things right.

Me: Oh, okay.

Jamie: Um, he’s talking a bunch. I don’t get what he’s saying, so I’m going to have him repeat it to me.

Me: Okay.

(Pause)

Jamie (with an exasperated laugh): Erik!!!

(Longer pause)

Erik: So when people go through struggles in life, over here we like to think of them as lessons. I think the downfall is when you’re on the earthly plane, you think the lesson IS that struggle itself. You think the actions in the struggle are the lesson you need to learn. Why would you want to go through that type of struggle? We don’t go through those types of struggles over here. So it’s not like you’re going to the earthly plane to struggle so you don’t have to do it over here. It doesn’t exist over here.

Jamie (struggling to talk while laughing): But the point—and he’s making fun of me, too.

Me: The rude thing!

Jamie (gigging): He goes, “Come on! You’re an easy target!”

Me (giggling): Oh no!

Jamie (in mock resignation): Aw, it’s probably true.

Erik: The point of doing the hardships on the earthly plane is to get to the goal. Most commonly, that’s an emotional goal. You don’t go down there to, you know, be a victim of rape, because you were vulnerable, and that was your lesson to be submissive or whatever. So that’s what I mean by how you humans often see the struggle as the lesson itself. The most common reason you’re a victim of rape is the need to learn how to persevere in life. So you continue on, but stronger. What I’m trying to say is people get wrapped up in the action rather than the emotional benefit of the lesson.

Me: Interesting. So in Lori’s case, give me some more specifics. I mean, what are you saying as far as her case is concerned?

Erik: Her emotional goal is just letting go. She’s so wrapped up in the actions of the lesson that she’s struggling to make things right and redeem herself. And she’s struggling to keep things buried. There’s a tug of war conflict going on inside her, eating her up every day between covering things up to avoid the pain and wanting to undo the harm she thinks she’s caused and to pay for her so-called sins. It’s an exhausting battle that she can’t win. Plus, she’s not getting the lesson she was supposed to learn. She’s not learning to let go of the past and of things beyond her control.

Letting go is, in my humble opinion, one of the hardest lessons to learn.