All the Single Ladies (and Men), Part One

Last night, I had a little cozy visit from Erik. I was awake when I felt the side of the bed depress as if someone was sitting there. Then I felt intense goosebumps on the side of my leg near that same area. I’m so happy because it had been a while, and I was beginning to think he was paying attention to everyone BUT me! Thanks Erik. 

Maybe he wanted to congratulate me on accomplishing my third kickboxing class without dying. I’m so freaking sore today that I can’t attend class this evening as planned, and with the radio show tomorrow and Annika and Lukas’s birthday party Friday, it looks like I won’t be able to go until Monday. It’s okay. It’ll give my muscles a chance to heal. This weekend is out, too, because I have a date with the grout in all the tiled areas of my house. I’m going to be on my knees, scrubbing away, then I’m going to apply two coats of sealer before the kids and animals dump more dirt and fur on the floor. We probably have around 700 square feet of tile, so it’s my least favorite job in the world, but it’s so nasty, and Easton is starting to crawl. Sure, the floor antigens are likely to boost his immune system, but it’d probably be cleaner for him to eat worms. Wish me luck. So now you know the highlights of my menial life. Happy?

Don’t forget that tomorrow at 7 PM CT is Erik’s Hour of Enlightenment radio show. Call 619-639-4606 15 minutes prior to talk to Erik. http://goo.gl/aFHTzJ

Me: Hey there, Robert and Erik.

Erik: Hi, Mom.

I give him a long choice of topics to pick from, and he decides to talk about singleness, specifically why some people are single but don’t want to be.

Erik: Let’s talk about the single ladies.

We all break out into Beyonce’s song, Single Ladies.

Me: Well, let’s talk about it. Why do some people stay single?

Erik: Everything in the Universe is about whatever it is you focus on. So, if you’re constantly focusing on, “I’m single; I’m single; I’m lonely; There’s no one for me,” then that’s what you’re going to get.

Me: Yeah.

Erik: You’re always going to be single. If you go out into the world sending vibes out, looking for that husband or wife, they’re going to see you as needy or they might not even see you at all!

Me: Oh, god. Yeah, sure.

Erik: Or they won’t pick up on the vibe that you’re interested because what your intention is and what you should really be focusing on and the reason you were even compelled to go out and go after people is because you feel alone. This is such a cliché, but it’s true. “You’ll find someone when you’re not looking for them.” That’s because you’re not focused on the fact that you’re lonely. When you stop focusing on that, you’ll find that you no longer are.

Me: So it’s like a Law of Attraction thing.

Erik: And it’s a paradox.

Me: Yeah, when you have this whole thought process, “I’m lonely; I’m lonely,” then the Universe, like a Xerox machine, is copying that whole reality for you.

Erik: You get into one of these situations where you, you know, spend all your time alone wondering why you’re lonely.

Robert chuckles at the irony.

Me: Aw.

Erik: It’s a paradox, and that’s what literally goes on when you tell yourself that. As far as the Universe is concerned, you’re asking to always be lonely. It can be very difficult for a person when we’re wired to pair bond. That desire starts to instill anxiety and insecurity, and you go out and pursue that thinking that pursuit will make it happen. Most people who are lonely and want to be in a relationship don’t always project their true self. They tend to project a sense of sadness or separation. A person who attracts a lot of mates and who aren’t lonely have this energy kind of glows. They get more mates that way.

Robert: I hope what he says makes sense. I haven’t been paying attention.

Me: Oh yeah. It makes sense. So, do some people incarnate to stay single as part of a spiritual contract?

Erik: For damn sure, yeah. For some people, it’s about learning what separation really means and to understand that it’s an illusion.

Me: Mm. Yeah.

Erik: Humans are about evolving beyond what their human nature compels them to do. So, there are certain souls who come into this life who are never meant to pair bond. They might spend their entire life looking for that knight in shining armor or that beautiful princess or whatever and they never show up. Hopefully at some point, while they’re still alive, they’ll resign themselves without the depression that comes with that.

Me: Yeah, without the, “Oh, woe is me. I’m doomed to be alone.”

Erik: But what’s interesting and what’s the paradox behind that is once they get that and let go of it, once they’re happy and are like, “Well, this is just how my life is,” and they don’t go into the sadness or the grief of it all, they often then meet that person. But it might not be a husband or a wife. It might be a friend, a friend that’s their soul mate but wasn’t meant to be a romantic one. That can also happen for those who are lonely. They could have that friend in their life that’s always there for them that they don’t see because they’re focused only on the romantic side of it.

It’s called “Friends with Benefits” yo.

Me: Well, there’s biology behind that, though.

Erik: Yeah, that’s why I was talking about the human desire to pair bond. As humans evolve, they’ll recognize what they’re programmed to do instinctually, and, from a conscious level, they’ll understand or will start to be aware that they have the ability to reprogram that themselves. For some, pair bonding will not be something they’re driven to do. It’s more, “I exist as an individual.”

Me: Or, “I’m okay with a good friend.”

Erik: Right, and for some people, the pair bonding can be not so much about being alone or just coupled with one person. Sometimes the pair bonding is because they really want a family. For some of them, the lesson might be that the people who are in their lives already like friends or just your fellow human beings are your family. A lot of people don’t get to the point where they can see that, though.

Me: Yeah, it’s hard.

Erik: Well, because they want ownership.

Me: Yeah, they want to own a spouse or children. “These are mine.” Is that what you’re saying?

Erik: Right. Right. And then there’s also a part of them that wants to be part of a small little tribe. Human beings, especially right now, when they’re in a small little tribe, they feel like everyone knows each other and takes care of each other, but if they’re in a global tribe, a big tribe, they feel like they’re going to be lost in the mix. That’s because most human beings aren’t geared to paying attention to another human being unless he or she was part of your close-knit group. We haven’t gotten to that point on a global scale yet.

Me: Yeah. Well, for me and my family, I feel like it’s nice to have my close-knit little family because it’s us against the world.

Erik: Right, and in this part of human evolution, that’s a symptom of how the world is. Everyone seems to be against each other. On an individual level like you just referred to, that actually teaches the collective that we can have that same closeness on a global scale. It’s also because we feel so separate from each other and feel like we have to bond into groups.

Me: But it seems like part of it could be that being single is a problem if you’re not comfortable with who you are. Some people don’t like to be alone with themselves. Maybe you can speak to that.

Erik: Yes. In a very subtle way, that’s what I was inferring when I was talking about how people feel alone.

Robert: I don’t see how you were inferring that, though!

He chuckles.

Me: Yeah, don’t be subtle. We need Spirituality for Dummies! Hello? C’mon! Spell it out in black and white!

Erik: Hey listen, Mom. You know me. I start to get on a topic, and then I ramble. Even though I had that in my head, I don’t bring it up, but you bring it up for me. That’s what’s so great about you! You always got my back.

Me: Aw, I try! That’s what mommies are for…partly.

Erik: Moms are great.

Me: And to kiss and blow those boo-boos, which I did many a time for you, didn’t I?

Erik: Yeah, I had lots of boo-boos.

Me: You did! We found out you were half blind because you had amblyopia, but I sweasr to god, I remember going to a Pizza Hut one time, and you were like 16 months old, and your whole head was covered with bruises! You were learning how to walk and kept falling. All of a sudden I thought, ‘Oh my god! People looking at this must think we’re child abusers! It looked like someone took a rolling pin to his forehead.

Squeaking noises.

Me: Ah, Polly likes her squeaky toy!

Robert: She loves her toy!

Erik: Yeah, I took after you, Mom.

Me: I know! I’m so clumsy!

Robert laughs.

Here’s another stellar endorsement for Erik’s book, My Life After Death: A Memoir from Heaven. Please change your life for the better by purchasing and reading your own copy. It comes in Kindle, Nook, paperback, Audible and audiobook.

I was just browsing books on near death experience and this book title popped up. I was quite intrigued and decided to take a closer look. You see my husband had a procedure done in his heart, and I had been with him every step of the way. I’m an MD and explained everything to my husband and reassured him all would be well, but the emotional aspects of this type of treatment was a struggle. During his recovery, one night he woke me up and asked me to put my hand on his heart, I did that and my husband sighed in relief and was snoring in contentment with our cats snuggled up tight. What caused this request was the fear of mortality racing towards him at an alarming rate.

When I took a closer look of Erik’s book, I purchased it, downloaded a copy to my husband’s kindle, my kindle and my older sister’s kindle. I will admit, that I had some doubts and some fears about mortality and what happened after death too. At the introduction, I was hooked! My husband told me he too, was hooked.
The book is written well and we both felt great relief about the afterlife or what Eric calls “Home”, discussed in detail in this book. Like Erik’s Mom, I’m an MD and was trained to focus on what could be proven, not to believe anything unless it had been put to a statistical test. So I had a hard time with what happened after we died. After reading this book, the idea of our soul living within us and then continuing on in Spirit feels completely true.
Beware though, Erik will punk you! I was reading and suddenly smelled an unpleasant smell, like someone smoking a cigar and didn’t know where it was coming from, especially because all the windows were closed! Later I found out that was Erik!

–Mddreadhead

 

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