Social anxiety affects so many of us. In fact, Erik was plagued by it when he was here on the earthly plane, particularly with girls. Although he touches on it during this March 12th channeling session, he also goes into greater detail in a session that I’ve yet to transcribe.

Me: Now, What can one do about social anxiety and what is the lesson behind that?

Erik: Social anxiety sucks!

Me: I know! You had a little bit of that, Erik.

Erik: And I fucking hated it. You know, if I really loved the topic of a conversation or why everybody was together in a group I really didn’t feel it as much, but if I didn’t approve or didn’t like the topic as much or why the group was together, man, the sweating, and I couldn’t find single person or object or eyeball to focus on. My eyes were just constantly scanning on something that would make me feel comfortable. And then to figure out how to fucking get out of this without looking like I was panicking.

Me: Yeah. Oh, Baby. That’s so true. You always had your eyes downcast. It’s like you looked mad or aloof when you felt uncomfortable around people, especially around girls. You just didn’t know what to do.

Erik: That’s why marijuana helped.

Me: Yeah, I know it helped you a lot. Okay, so what do you do beside smoke a joint?

Erik: You choose not to put yourself in those circumstances.

Me: What? So you just resign yourself to a life as a recluse?

Erik: Well, you can enjoy being a hermit, too. There’s social networking.

Me: I know, but what if you’re lonely, and you want to have contact with other people?

Erik: Now, that’s a totally different story, Mom. For the people who have social anxiety, the freedom of knowing they can just stay home and enjoy it is an awesome answer. It’s giving them all the power in the world. Now if they really want to have a friend and get over their social anxiety, I would do one of the following things or some or all of them in a combination: First, I would find a counselor or a life coach and go into a therapy group, because social anxiety is about not allowing yourself to be honest or vulnerable in a public arena. So, doing group therapy, whether it’s 4 people or 16 people—you can decide that with your therapist—you need to get in with your therapist and learn how to talk about yourself, how do you view yourself? You have to have that practice. Then, I would read up on that—

Jamie (to Erik): You love that book, and I haven’t read it.

Erik: –that nonviolent communication book.

Jamie: I’m two chapters into it. It’s absolutely amazing.

Erik: You’re on page 16, Jamie.

Jamie: If I get home and see that I’m on page 16, I’m going to laugh so hard. I haven’t had time to read it in a long time, so we’ll see!

Erik: So, I would read a book like that so you can learn your vocabulary, and when you master your vocabulary, you master conversation, and that gives you the grace to get into the conversation without confrontation, without that shitty kind of guilt and that scared thing you get.

Me: Yeah. Good.

Jamie (giggling): Shitty kind of guilt and scared thing you get!

Erik: It’s real, Jamie!

Jamie: I bet it is.

Erik: Now, the third thing that I would do is this: I would connect only—I would set a boundary for myself, a rule, a law—a law of the land—that I will only do the things that make me happy. You know, you start following that—and you notice that yourself, Mom. When you make a few changes in your life that create more joy, it makes you more successful. And when you’re more successful, you gain more confidence, and then pretty soon, you’re taking action six months ago that would have been a huge ass risk. But to do it now just seems like the most natural thing to do.

Me: Yeah.

Erik: That’s how it should be when you’re coming out of that social anxiety. It shouldn’t feel like this big ass challenge sitting on your face kind of a thing.

Me: What about social networking with people who have the same kind of problem so you can go out in public to brave the world together?

Erik: Yeah, but only if it’s not online.

Me: No, not online. I’m talking about meeting people who have the same fears so you can develop confidence together. It’s horrible to have social anxiety and hook up with somebody who doesn’t, but it helps if there are two of you braving the party or whatever together.

Erik: Yeah, that’s totally fine.