Don’t forget about Erik’s Hour of Enlightenment radio show tomorrow at 5:00 PM PT/7:00 PM CT/8:00 PM ET. No more than 15 minutes before the top of the hour, call 619-639-4606 to ask Erik your question. There are three ways to listen: Listen on the phone line, click on the “Listen” icon on the right sidebar of the blog or click on this link: http://goo.gl/aFHTzJ If you’ve tried over and over to get on as a caller with no luck, please tell me your story by emailing me, emedhus@gmail.com. 

Also, it’s time to write the next Ask Erik column, so please email yours to the address above. Be sure to include only one question and phrase it in a way that is as concise and coherent as possible because that’s how it will appear in the magazine. The deadline is midnight tonight, and it’s first come, first serve. Good luck!

Here’s this Thursday’s Best of Erik (which, as a reminder, occurs every Tuesday and Thursday.) This is probably one of the most important topics for getting through the human experience.

Me: Here’s a question I’d like to put ahead in the queue because it hopefully will answer a lot of questions that came up when you talked about how we can take the lessons you and others have taught us and put them into action—to make them work in our lives. You know a lot of people were like, “Easier said than done, Dude!” Here’s the question that sort of encapsulates what I mean: “Ever since I started reading this site and looking into New Age concepts, I’ve discovered that we are responsible for our own realities. I’m also a firm believer that we have the power to create the reality that we want just like Erik has always said. What I don’t understand is when someone really puts forth the effort to make these changes and sees no results, what are they to do next? When life keeps coming at us, it can be easy to give up and or to start feeling sorry for ourselves and think that we don’t have the power to change our realities. I’ve always heard that it starts with changing within. Then we can change what’s around us. But believe me when I say I’ve been trying and trying and sometimes I just want to scream to the universe, “What the hell am I doing wrong? When is this dog going to see his day?” But then, for some reason, I keep going and trying and never give up hope. Erik makes it sound so easy, but it sure doesn’t feel that way in the 3^rd dimensional reality we call Earth.

(Pause)

Erik (chuckling): Nicely put!

Jamie: Um, he was kind of giving the answer when you were talking. So I asked him, “START OVER!”

(Long pause)

Jamie (to Erik, laughing): From the beginning, dork!

Erik: When—

Jamie (to Erik): What do you mean?

(Jamie listens for a while.)

Jamie (to Erik): Okay, so let’s break it down to those two things, then.

(Pause)

Jamie: Okay, so he’s going to look at it first one way when he’s talking about getting those concepts that this guy wrote about—

Me: How did you know it was a guy?

Erik: C’mon, Mom. Really?

Me: Okay, okay.

Jamie laughs.

Jamie: So, he’s got the concept. He knows he can change reality if he creates that change in himself first.

Me: Right.

Erik: Yeah, and when we create that change, we’re creating a new blueprint, and if we’ve got a really clear set of blueprints, then it’s easy to follow. But let’s say we’ve only built 80% of it; we’re not really sure what the other 20% is. Then you’re direction is pretty loose. You get 80% there and then you have this 20% of feeling confused or just disappointed or lost. What I’m saying it most people say that they try, they try, they try, but there are two things, possibly, that they’re not doing: they’re not being consistent and they’re not doing 100%. They’ll say they love everybody: “No, I’ve forgiven, and I love everyone,” but there’s this one guy that they can’t forgive. Well then they really haven’t done that, have they? You can’t say, like in school if you get like 80%, you know, that you got yourself a B. A B’s not going to fly. (laughing) Okay, not like a bumblebee, but… The grade, B, is not going to work.

Jamie and I laugh.

Erik: You’re all in, or you’re all out. And if you’re 90% in, guess what? You’re actually all out, because you refused to follow through the last 5%. I’m not saying that it’s black and white, right and wrong. You’re either doing it—you’re capable of following through, call it whatever you want, spiritual morals, um, perspectives, belief systems, your own truths—you know, you’re either consistent or you’re not, and that’s how it goes. So, when they look for the response the environment is supposed to give them, sometimes the environment is confused. It says, “Wait a second. You’re asking for all of this, but you’re not saying how you want to receive it.” So it’s either you’re not consistent or you’re not clear with what it is.

Me: Hm.

Erik: And I think the word “try” is absolutely the most awful fucking word that you can use. You do it, or you don’t. Stop trying, and set your mind to it. You do it, or you don’t. It’s a belief value system or it’s not, so won up to it. Create a better blueprint. And this isn’t just for this dude. I mean this for everyone. I don’t want him to feel singled out.

Me: Good.

Erik: Now, there are some that have this blueprint, and they have it 120% complete. Not only did they design everything, they put in what color, texture, shape, weight, size, everything to a t. And when they’re getting it and they’re life experience and it comes in as grey and not taupe, they say, “That’s not it; it’s not right,” and they shut it down. They give it up. Well, I think it’s beautiful you’re laying out your blueprint for what you want in your life and the change you want to do and receive 120%, but you have got be willing to accept what’s coning at you! Some people—this is what gets me. They wanna reach these goals. Let’s say you’re at the bottom of the stairs, a flight of stairs. It takes 20 steps to get to the next floor, and your goal is to get to the fifth story. You’re going to run these steps. And so you’re counting, because you’ve laid them out 20 steps, one, two, three—

Jamie (giggling): He’s counting and being very prissy.

I laugh.

Jamie: Yeah, it’s pretty funny.

Erik: And you get to step 20, but on this level there are 23 steps, and you go, “Nope, nope. That’s not it! That’s not right! I can’t do it.” Sometimes life is going to require you to reach out a little bit more and be a little more flexible so climb the extra fucking three steps, and reach your goal! There’s a flexibility element that’s needed. So, I would say to people: Be consistent. If you’re adopting a belief, adopt it 100%. When it no longer works for you, change that belief and change it 100%. Go all in. Don’t be afraid to go all in. Don’t be afraid to go all vulnerable and out there. You will be stronger for doing so. Be consistent. Know what you want, and be flexible in the way that you accept it. That’s like saying you wanted this promotion. You applied for this promotion, and that’s all you can think about. Yay, yay, yay! And you interviewed for it and it looks great, but they put you somewhere else, and now you feel like a fucking failure, and it’s miserable, and you feel depressed, and it’s horrible. But then when you actually recognize it a year later after you’re on four different kinds of meds and now you’re an alcoholic, they say, “Okay, yeah, now we’d like to put you in that spot that you’ve always been applying for. We wanted to put you in that other position so that you could gain that knowledge so that when we promoted you we could give you a better salary and a better position.

(At this point I’m wondering why they want to give any job to a severely depressed, raging alcoholic, but what do I know?)

Erik: But you were too fucked up to notice. You got all wrapped up in the mental, that something was wrong. You were too fucked up to notice that it was a better deal than what you were asking for. That’s the flexibility that we’re hoping humans will have. And it’s hard to ask for that, because I know that’s what—

Jamie (laughing): Humans. He’s pointing to me like I’m soooo guilty. I broke it there. Sorry.

Jamie and I chuckle at Erik’s indiscretion.

Jamie: Humans, like me. Sigh.

Me: Yeah, we’re peons, I guess.

Erik: Ahem. Humans get wrapped up into measuring. If we have a certain number in our head and we’re not meeting it, then we think we’ve failed. It’d be nice to have that number, but then say, “Give or take.” Meet me at five-ish. Being specific is wonderful, but leave room for it to be better than what you think you should be able to get!

Me: Can I get an Amen!

Erik: And often, better will make you take two steps back to learn something else like the dude with the promotion before you can move five steps forward.

Me: Exactly.

Erik: So, tell the dude, stop trying, and stop being disappointed, raining on his own parade and falling into the “why me; I can’t get it right, and I really want it, and I’m failing.” Isn’t that Tony Robbins—

Jamie (to Erik, laughing): That’s Tony Robbins, yeah. He just showed me the giant.

I laugh hard.

Jamie: It’s funny because he painted him green.

Me: The incredible hulk.

Erik: Doesn’t that Tony Robbins dude say, “If you haven’t succeeded, then you haven’t tried all the options?”

Jamie (to Erik): Well, I don’t know if he says that, but that’s him, Erik.

Me: I don’t know what he says, Erik.

Erik: People come to him and say they’ve tried all possibilities, and they still can’t get what they want. Well, it’s a fat ass lie, because you obviously haven’t tried all the ways. You’re just saying that. There are a few things that you refuse to do, so you’re not looking at those options. But they’re just as valuable as options as the ones you’ve deemed as the “correct ones.” You just gotta get out of your own head! The measurements. Stop measuring.

Me: God we humans are so guilty of that. I guess it comes from living a linear, sequential existence. Damn good stuff. You’ve really been pumped up on your soapbox on this topic. I really appreciate it, because what’s the point of the human experience if we don’t know how to use our thoughts to create and design and mold and tweak those experiences that make up our lives. Thank you, Sweetie.

Erik: You’re very welcome.