I do not know if Erik likes cartoon characters (I’ll ask him in a second) and I know Bugs Bunny is supposed to say this, nevertheless I like ‘em; they lighten things up; so Mickey Mouse can also say it. Like, why can’t the Prime Minister of Antarctica give a speech in Greek?
C = The Committee ST = substitute teacher and Erik
ST: Erik, I know birthday parties, or any other kind of party, are possible in Heaven but since dates are an Earth detail, there’s no calendar in Heaven, is it done anyway?
Erik: Yup, and there are parties where several different birthdays are celebrated from different lives.
ST: How does that work?
Erik: The birthday boy or girl appears and re-appears from the way he or she looked at the same age in different lives and if there have been different genders, he becomes she becomes he becomes she!
ST: Do new arrivals, the recently returned, are they allowed to go to these parties?
Erik: Sure, and they get invited all the time.
ST: This must be interesting.
Erik: Sure is, man, ‘cause not everybody immediately remembers how things work away from Earth and watching somebody recall all these things, step by step, is very entertaining.
ST: Like a practical joke, huh?
Erik: What’s a practical joke?
ST: We get a lot of serious information on Earth it seems, all so responsible and intended to make things better and arranged and organized and improved and….and…..and…..
Erik: Yup, and it’s like nobody remembers how to lighten up.
ST: We seem to lighten up with celebrity scandals; arrests, dubiously taken photographs and all that stuff.
Erik: The scandalized people all take it too serious themselves, like that shit makes a difference. It doesn’t. They should just laugh and dance the two step and this goes for politicians, too.
ST: So Vladimir Putin should do a stand-up comic routine?
Erik: Hell yeah, great idea! Just think up of him up there in front of the microphone: “Two comrades invade a bar in Petrograd and….”
ST: I don’t think it’s called Petrograd any more…
Erik: It is now, you bein’ serious on me?
ST: Ooooops, sorry.
Erik: Don’t let it happen again, man.
ST: Yes, sir. So…..we’re told humor and laughter are good for the soul. I don’t think anybody will dispute that on Earth, but is it true in Heaven, too?
Erik: Hell yes! A great saying, since there isn’t one.
ST: So it’s inaccurate to say “Hell’s Angels” ?
Erik: No, you can say it; why not?
ST: It’s a motorcycle club; some would say a gang.
Erik: How ‘bout Heaven’s Devils?
ST: I like that. So give us a few of Heaven’s jokes….
Erik: Here’s a good one; one day a brave soul says to his soon-to-be Guardian Angels “this time around, I’m going to have three arms” and his guides say “that’s a triple threat”.
ST: As we say on Earth, wonk wonk.
Erik: OK, here’s another one; a soul that usually glows blue and yellow suddenly shows up at a piano recital projecting bright orange only. The piano player is a very accomplished musician who likes to use orange keys and now, can’t see them. He asks the orange soul to temporarily change colors for the recital, who answers “orange you glad I’m bright enough to understand?”
ST: Double wonk wonk.
Erik: Just think of the admission charge for this comedy show and then, you feel better, don’t you?
ST: And we all forgot about politics for a moment, didn’t we?
Erik: Politics? Politics? You know what politician is? Somebody smart to enough to win the election but too dumb to remember why!
ST: You’re still the appointed chairperson of The Committee, for a indeterminate, temporary period, do you remember?
Erik: Hell yes.
ST: There is no Hell.
Erik: Yes, there is, it’s where the Angels come from. There’s a Harley Davidson factory there.
ST: So The Committee hasn’t said anything; can you see them?
Erik: Not only can I see them, they see us.
ST: Oh yeah, right, no hiding in Heaven, I remember.
Erik: Yes, you can hide; here we say “you can hide but you cannot run”
ST: Isn’t it the other way around?
Erik: Everything is the other way around on Earth, which is why so many souls want to go there.
ST: Esteemed Committee, have any of you lived on Earth in a physical body?
C: Yes. A great honor and opportunity to have done this.
ST: It does not seem this way to many people.
C: Upon your return home, great understanding will return to you and much admiration there will be as your experience will shine for all to see. We would ask that all of you consider adoration without status, admiration without rank; wisdom without authority and knowledge without power. To be wise, to know, be admired and adored where no thoughts of ranking, power, authority or status are associated with these things. Comparative descriptions of better and inferior never arise as experience is known. This a glimpse into Heaven we offer and we few, having seen both sides of this so large yet so thin a divider that you have seen to put around you for a moment, to live life where you are, we can say with certainty and conviction, what you do now is as great a thing your soul might ever take upon itself.
ST: It seems so nice and so much like a fantasy to hear this.
C: This is intentional, by your choice.
ST: Do you tell jokes, Committee members?
C: We have many times, yes although, not this our role is chosen.
ST: Can you please tell us one before we close?
C: An honor.
Once upon a planet a spaceship carrying a young pilot crashed. He found a small green man wearing robes speaking with bad grammar and said:
“My name is just Luke, my crash was a fluke, I pilot much better I need to mail a letter” and the green midget answered “your quest important is, your voyage lost fizz, help you do need, and soon indeed” to which the young pilot said “I gotta find Jed, look him in the eye, before day turns to night, he’ll explain to me why.” The old, small green man shook his head and said “speak frankly I will, the letter a ruse, your mission not grammar, other things you choose.” The young pilot said “What the hell happened, I’m speaking like a poet, until I found you man, I didn’t even know it.” Answered the little green man, “Grammar’s overrated, and unappreciated, you’re here to learn, things concentrated.” Replied the pilot “there’s nothing but jungle, I can’t find my uncle, my ship broken down, I’m talking like a clown.” The small green man said “fix that attitude, think new directions, learn a lot you will, with big, big corrections.” Said the young pilot “where the heck am I, where’s this stinking place, let me fix my ship no more poems in my face.” Asked the old green midget, “Look Jed in the eye, this mission yours you say, how will you find him, in these stacks of hay?”
Said the lost pilot “he’s great, feared and tough, for me that’s enough, Yoda his name, holder of great fame.” The little green man looked down at the ground, shook his head and said “knowledge that you seek, inside it is found, cast aside the image of feet on the ground.” Luke the pilot stared at this strange local resident in the swampy jungle and said “You’re crazy and you know it, not afraid to ever show it, where’s the man I need, time is short indeed.”
Erik: The Yoda speak in the movie was channeled.
C: Yes.
ST: Cool poem story, but it’s not a joke.
Erik: You want a joke? I got joke for you right here… (The Committee suddenly appears holding small bags of popcorn) Two nuns leave a liquor store and one says “we have to break this habit.”
ST: That was bad, Erik.
Erik: OK, one last one and off we go. What happens when an Angel and a Demon get married? Their daughter is called Miss Matched.
ST: Ugh. Later, Erik. Talk to y’all tomorrow, High Committee!
C: Fare well until then!
