Me: All right. Why are we here? Did we already answer that?
Jamie (shaking her head): No.
Me: Okay. Why are we here, and are we here to remember or to learn? (Pause) Something.
Jamie (smiling): He’s laughing at the question.
Me: Thanks!
Jamie: No, he says, “It’s a fucking sweet question.”
Jamie and I chuckle.
Erik: Because there’s two, right? We believe that we’re learning shit, but we’re actually in the process of remembering.
Jamie listens for a while, then says, “He’s telling me flat out, ‘That’s it man. That’s it!’”
Jamie (to Erik): C’mon. Just engage us!
Me: Throw us a bone, Erik! C’mon! We need more details.
Erik: Hey, Lady, stop pressuring me!
We both giggle.
Erik: We come to Earth to have experiences, and really my biggest thing that I’d like to share with you people is that we always say that we’re human beings when I think we should erase that term altogether and identify us as emotional beans.
Me (teasing him about his pronunciation): Emotional beans? Is that lima beans?
Jamie laughs.
Erik: Yeah, but not as tasty. Emotional beings! If we look at ourselves this way, then the whole experience of what we’re doing on Earth has such intense meaning and such intense purpose. We’re not here to –
Jamie: Oh, he’s saying, “Tick tock.”
Erik: We’re not here to tick tock, tick tock—kind of pass time and do shit in our heads and learn all of these fucking concepts and craziness in a logical world. You know, we can do that shit as any life form that we take. The beauty about being human is the struggle to be emotionally honest. And if you’ve can nail that shit in your life, you’ve really nailed everything down, because if you can stay true to who you are, emotionally, right? Not just character-wise and what you think is right, all the fucking pros and cons—just slide that shit to the left, and start identifying how you feel. That’s why we really come. We come to learn the definitions love, all of the variations of love. I’m not some fucking hippie. I’m not trying to preach the open arms kind of thing.
Jamie and I laugh.
Erik: Cuz what I’m saying is that you have to be true to your own emotions, and it ain’t all going to be roses. I’m not saying you’re coming here to be spiritual and that the concept of being spiritual is all positive and all white and all happiness and all joy. If you’re trying to achieve that shit, you’re ignoring fifty percent of your true self. Then you’re walking around completely oblivious to what you really need and what precious items you’re carrying which are the denser, lesser “accepted” or “wanted” emotions (Jamie put these words in air quotes because Erik does.) But they’re just as valuable and precious. I wish people on Earth would stop judging and just start fucking feeling.
Me: I agree.
Jamie (giggling): He holds his hands out like this (as if he’s grapping two balls in his hand. No, not that kind.) and says, “Ah, just fucking feel!”
We both giggle.
Erik: That sums it up, Mom, don’t you think?
Erik points his finger at me.
Me: Okay.
*********************************
Dear Reader,
The journey on which you’re about to embark will take you through stories that are deeply personal and involves a relationship between a mother and her son.
As a physician raised by two atheists, I had no personal belief system about life after death. In a word, I was a confirmed skeptic. As my journey progressed, my mind opened. It is my sincerest hope that yours will open as well and that you will have a greater understanding of your own life and what’s to come ahead.
Although Erik sometimes paints a rosy picture of the afterlife, time and time again he stresses that suicide is not the answer to one’s problems. If you struggle, please understand that the information in my blog and my book is no substitute for professional help. Please click here for a list of resources for help when you find yourself considering taking your own life. Know that they are readily available when you feel that hopelessness and despair that many of us feel from time to time in our lives.
I refuse all donations and ad revenue on the blog. It is my dream to one day establish a nonprofit organization that delivers a variety of spiritual services for those who have lost loved ones to suicide and cannot afford that assistance on their own. It’s a mission of love, sacrifice, and dedication.
Love and light,
Elisa
