Erik on Love, Part Two

I just finished a session with Michelle St. Clair translating Erik on the subject of tech zombies. Very interesting. Before the session, I made sure that everyone knew that Easton needed to stay out of my room, but he wandered in anyway with a big grin. Arleen came to retrieve him, but since it was nearly the end of the session, I let him sit in my lap and say hello to everyone. I asked Arleen if she wanted to say hello, but she ducked out of sight out of embarrassment. Seconds later, she puts a Post-It note up to the camera that read, “Erik farted.” She channels Erik, so I’m sure she was right!

Enjoy our second installment on love!

Robert: Okay, you had asked a question a second ago?

Me: So to love somebody, it takes not judging them because, to me, judgment severs the threads of connection. I think I channeled that from Erik. I don’t know. But go ahead. Talk bout judgment and Love.

Erik: For sure, Mom.

Me: Was I channeling you?

Erik: For sure.

Me: Oh, okay!

Erik: Judgment comes from a place of fear.

Me: Always.

Erik: If it’s expressed like, “You’re doing this wrong, and I’m doing it right,” or vice versa. It’s coming from a place of fear, which goes back to trust. If you don’t trust the decisions that you make or others make, then you’re going to judge things as right or wrong, and any time we do that, we put a person or ourselves into a little box, taking away our ability to be free.

Me: And we label them. We create labels. Defining people restricts them and makes them not all that they can be or who they are, basically.

Erik: That’s right.

Me: Which is everything.

Erik: Exactly. And it goes back again to ego. Symptoms of ego will be judgments, which, of course, feeds into mistrust so you won’t have any trust, guilt—

Robert: Really? Well, yeah, that makes sense.

Me: Talk about that.

Erik: I can’t tell you how many times I’ve run across people from the blog—and even Robert has done this before—who feel a loving connection with someone, but then they’ll start to feel guilt over something like maybe they couldn’t be there for them when they needed them or that person wants something they can’t provide. They’ll feel guilty for that. That’s about not trusting in the Universe. It’s not allowing what was meant to happen, to be. You gotta realize that sometimes you’re not supposed to fucking be there.

Me: And you shouldn’t feel guilty because that implies that you don’t think that person is enough for themselves.

Erik: That’s right, and many times, that’s part of the lesson. It’s about being self-sufficient. When a person is truly living in a place of Love, they know that on their own, they’re enough. Of course you can take that to extremes because they don’t want people to be interconnected.

Robert: How did you put that again, Erik?

Erik: So, say a person is on the side of the road and they’re injured and can’t do for themselves at that moment. Some people can go to the extreme of, “Well, self-sufficiency. You have to take care of yourself.”

Robert chuckles.

Robert: That’s a pretty extreme example, and I don’t think you’d see that too often, Erik.

Me: Yeah.

Erik: Well, fuck yeah, you can see it. It doesn’t have to be quite that literal.

Me: “Dude, you’re two years old. Go out and find a job! I’m sick of supporting your ass!”

Erik: I said it that extreme because I wanted to make fun of how literal people can be. Everything is nuanced. When someone can’t do for themselves, we’re social creatures, and we’re meant to help others.

Me: Well, it’s tough because how do you know whether you’re interfering with their human experience? What if you’re “saving” them from the contrast they’re supposed to be experiencing?

Erik: You won’t feel guilt. You won’t feel pity. You won’t feel like that person is less than. You’ll feel a tug at your heart that feels like compassion.

Robert: Okay, he’s showing this visual so he’s switching to visuals. He’s showing you lifting the person up, giving them a hand up, and in the process, it intensifies your feelings of compassion and empathy.

Erik: So those are the kind of things that you’ll feel. A lot of times people will try to help somebody, and of course it’s good that they help them, but sometimes it’s because they feel bad or guilty or like they pity the person.

Me: Yeah.

Erik: That’s just feeding into an energy that’s not really going to be sustainable for you or the other person. You can go back from that experience and feel like the whole world is terrible and all these other things and, “Why does the world allow these things to happen?” How good does that fucking feel? It doesn’t feel good at all, and it’s not sustainable. The world would never reach the state that you want it to. Of course it’s admirable to want that, but it’ll never get to that place if you’re coming from that kind of a place of ego. Ego will always feel dense.

Me: Yeah, pity is a denser emotion than compassion, and I think—and maybe I’m channeling you, Erik, so tell me if I am—pity is ego based, and it’s judgmental. It’s saying, “You’re not good enough.” That person is not good enough, and you don’t have faith in them to overcome.

Erik: It comes from a place of, “Aw, you’re broken. Poor you. You’re broken.”

Me: Yeah, everybody is perfect!

Erik: Yeah, but it comes from a place of not seeing that they are perfect. Ultimately, when a person feels that way, it’s not about the person in front of them because ego is never about anyone but yourself.

Me: Exactly!

Erik: Pity is all about what you feel toward yourself. Anytime you watch something on the news and you start to feel pity or horrible remorse, which for most human beings is a natural response, but there’s another way that you can approach that. I mentioned it earlier. Project compassion. Project love in the sense that humans think of as love: being supportive, connecting to. That’s the thing that will lift things up and raise vibrations.

Me: Yeah, compassion doesn’t come from the ego at all. It seems more disconnected from self.

Erik: Yeah, but let’s talk about the compassion thing, though. People can project what they say is compassion, but it’s actually a guise for their ego. It’s a façade for their ego so that they can put that label on there.

Me: Oh.

Erik: So here’s how you know. The person will do something that appears to be compassionate. They’ll seem compassionate, but then they’ll go and brag about it to everyone. “Look what I did,” and they’ll post it on the Internet.

Me: “Look at me. I gave to the Toys for Tots drive so yay me!”

Erik: Again, it’s not bad that they go and do that, but it’s about the way they’re presenting it and the intention they have for it.

Me: Yeah, why they did it. Did they do it for that group or person, or did they do it to feel better about themselves?

Erik: Exactly, and that’s where I’m coming from. It’s the intention behind it. Sometimes someone might do something for Toys for Tots, and it’s important for others to know about it so they can help, too. Then, of course, you want to publicize it. But if the intention is to call attention to yourself, that’s under the guise of ego. (to Robert) Perfect, dude.

Robert: Okay, thank you.

Me: Aw.

Robert: I’ll tell you one thing about Erik. Whenever I start to channel him, if he doesn’t have anything to pull him in, he’ll go into a lot of directions all at once. It’d be hard for me to figure out what he wants to say or where he wants to go. You’ll notice that sometimes at the beginning. If there’s no structure like questions—

Me: He takes us down all sorts of rabbit holes!

Robert: He will, and I won’t know where to go! There will be all sorts of things coming in, and I’m like, ‘I don’t know where to start!’ It’s all mixed up like alphabet soup!

Me: Well, Erik, focus! You said for Robert to focus, so you focus!

Robert: Exactly! He’s getting better at it, though. When you ask a question, he’ll stay focused on it.

Erik: Dude, I got spiritual ADD.

Me: Yeah, you do. You had it when you were alive, too. You were all over the place.

Robert (laughing): Oh my god, it makes me crazy sometimes!

Me: Imagine how I felt raising him!

Robert: Oh, bless your heart.

Me: He was into everything. So anything else about the difference between pity and compassion?

Erik: No, Mom. I covered the bases there, but if someone comes in while we’re talking to say something, I’ll add it later.

Don’t forget to include My Son and the Afterlife and My Life After Death in your summer reading, peeps! They both come in all possible formats. Sometimes you have to widen the browser window on Amazon to see them all. 

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Elisa Medhus


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  • Kirsty Goodary

    I really enjoyed this post. I’ve been reading your posts for some time now and it’s definitely opened my eyes. A clairvoyant told me last year to explore my connections concerning spirituality, she said it will help me remember what I came here for. Am I on the right track?

    • Alex J Campbell

      Yes you should try to slow down and be more mindful so you can be aware of what resonates with your heart. Our crazy lives are full of distractions but your spiritual purpose is found in that resonance. Good luck!

      • Kirsty Goodary

        Hey thank you so much, I’m very grateful for your reply! I will follow through with your advice 🙂

    • You should submit that question to the Ask Erik column next time I call out for them or try to call in to the Thursday night radio show. I’ll post info on how to do that tomorrow and Thursday!

      • Kirsty Goodary

        Thanks Elisa. I live in the UK I’m not sure what the time difference is but I’ll definitely submit it in the column. Thank you for bringing light in to our lives and raising awareness!

  • GreenGirl

    Thank you for writing this blog. My husband of 17 years, who was bipolar, committed suicide 2 weeks ago the same way Erik did. I’ve been feeling very, well, not sure how to describe how I’ve been feeling. A cacophony of feelings. I was told about your books and I purchased both of them. I read ‘My Life After Death’ first and plan to start reading ‘My son and the afterlife’. I found ‘My Life After Death’ comforting, and it confirmed some feelings/ideas I had about what happens after we die. My husbands memorial service was yesterday, and it was beautiful. I attended to every detail, making sure Aaron was everywhere. Like a big Aaron hug– and people felt it. As the service progressed, the energy lifted and people left feeling uplifted and touched. So many people felt Aaron, and have been feeling him both before and after the service (as well as during), and I’m feeling frustrated because I’ve felt nothing, and I’m left sitting here thinking– what about me?!?! What about me?? It’s hard to deal with, but the book has helped me cope. Thank you to you Elisa, and Erik for all the work you are doing to help people. You are appreciated.

    • I’m so sorry sweetie. You might want to communicate with him through one of the mediums I use (or one of your choice) so you can have all of your questions answered and find out if he’s been trying to reach you. You might also want to get a copy of Erik’s book, My Life After Death: A Memoir from Heaven, so you can find out exactly what he went through and where he is now. It’s a little over $8 but if you can’t afford it, email me and I’ll send you the pdf form. It’s really important to me that you read this and find relief.

  • Marq

    All change starts with ourselves.
    For things around me to change first I must change (Hellen Cornellius).
    When we adjust the lens through which we view the world the world itself begins to change…
    Literally…
    The lens is the filters we all have taken on to enter the human experience.
    Ego is one of the lenses.
    Ego is a survival tool that has two main objectives.
    To keep us safe and to adjust ourselves to the ‘tribe’ to ensure we fit in.
    Other filters include our beliefs about right and wrong and the values we try to hold to.
    The views of parents, teachers, religion and societal culture blend with our unique personality structure to underpin our views and behavior.
    Another filter of major import is our amnesic state in human form.
    The ‘forgetting’ of who we truly are needed to have a human experience.
    The shift required to move from egoic (fit in- stay safe) love to unconditional love comes down to making the decision to let go of all judgement.
    As Erik points out it involves allowing what is,… to be what is meant to be..
    This does not mean not engaging with what is.
    Nor does it mean releasing desire for a things to improve and being practically active.
    The key is understanding that all experience is inherantly neutral..
    Its meaning is the meaning we ascribe to it. The filters (see above) we have in place usualy lead us to view life in terms of just or unjust and right or wrong. The justice imprisonment systems we have in place reflect and reinforce that we believe rehabilition requires punishment also. ( perhaps a topic for another day).
    The shift from an egoic perspective to an unconditional love perspective simply requires us to disengage our filters and view all experience as
    either resonant or non resonant.
    As Erik has said it is about feeling experience through the heart and aligning with those feelings rather than our filters.
    Letting the head serve the heart rather than shut it down.
    When we view experience in terms of being resonant (preferred) or non resonant (unpreferred ) we align with our own inner self.
    Our higher soul self flows into our human expression and we release judgement of others.
    Our focus shifts from what is “wrong” to what is “right for me”….
    The heart understands that we energetically merge with whatever we focus upon. Our energy is actively engaged in producing more of it in our experience.
    Better to visualise and build something preferred along side something unpreferred.
    Pushing against unpreferred experience sustains it.
    All that exists does so a purpose.
    All that comes into our experience does so firstly to show us our inner selves.
    Secondly to allow us to define and ralign ourselves
    We show ourselves who we are being in the moment and how aligned we are with our true inner state,.. which is unconditional love.

  • Brenda Riley

    I have Jury Duty this week so I went and got ” My son and the Afterlife” I”ll need a few books to read and so I got a few others too. I’m excited and ready to read Elisa’s book now. Until now, I just couldn’t bring myself to read it, I was afraid it would be to overwhelmingly painful, but I’m ready now.

  • Alex J Campbell

    Can Erik bring in Otto Warmbier and find out what happened?

    • My list is closed but if the outcry is overwhelming, I’ll consider it strongly.

  • Elisa

    I really love reading Erik’s wisdom.

    In this post, one thing that stands out for me as being a lesson I’ve been trying to understand for in recent years, is the one about being truly genuine and doing things out of a pure heart. Being egoless, which I also know is how really emotionally healthy people are like (which is what I am working towards).

    …For me, it is that for years I tried to make this all happen, but despite good intentions my ego snuck in there and I was acting more out of a hidden sense of shame and fear of not being worthy or good enough. I continued doing what I thought was right for a long time, until finally, at long last, cracks started to show through -and I started to realise that it wasn’t goodness really and certainly wasn’t doing me any good. …Buddhism and mindfulness have been amazing for me to find – particularly since I seemed to get stuck a lot in the forementioned mind-trap -I see a puppy dog chasing its tale when I think of my efforts to free my self from this going round in circles.

    …It’s astonishing just how elusive it is to truly get away from this. How automatic operating on a reactive and, ultimately, dysfunctional level -how easy it is to default to this and how it creeps up on a person. The worst is when you can deceive yourself that you are doing right by others and yourself and genuinely mean to do right, but just end of doing a rehash of the same old unconscious patterns even if it is rearranged (a bit). …It’s like neverending …almost!

    And I love how spiritual teachers have said things like, pure hearts get into the kingdom of heaven -and things along these lines.
    I’ve been watching the Terry Gilliam movie “The Fisher King” (which is a favorite) and have been dwelling a bit on the scene where Robin Williams’ character says the story of The Fisher King -which is one of the stories of the King Arthur legends… and how the one who finds the grail that heals the ailing King is “The Fool”. And that the King’s best and bravest could not find the Holy Grail, but “The Fool” did and ‘The Fool’ answered the King when he asked him how come he could do what none of his own best knights couldn’t – the fool’s answer is that he didn’t know, but he only knew that the king was thirsty.
    …sounds vaguely similar to (I believe it is) Buddhists’ ideas of not being able to get there with your mind but with your heart and a pure one.

    It really does strike me as being quite profound -it actually is really hard to be that simple and straightforward.

Channeling Erik®