Helping Those Who Want Out

Here’s some advice from Erik that comes from a channeling session this past summer:

Jamie: You know, your boy and I have been having some talks.

Me: Oh really? Tell me, tell me!

Jamie: Yeah, I got two emails asking him to hold back on the F#@*#s. And I said ‘I told you! I told you!’

Me: Uh oh! But it’s so hard for him!

Jamie: And he goes, “Naw, I swear I’m not trying to force them out! They drop like bombs!” So, I go, ‘Well maybe pull back on the bombs!’

Me: Yeah, I know! He’ll do the best he can, I’m sure. It must be hard, though, because that’s the way he’s talked all of his life. Well, not all his life!

Erik: That would be sharp, Mom. As a baby, cussing it up?

Me: So, how are you, Erik?

Jamie: He is really happy today! Joyful.

Me: Oh, good!

Jamie: He’s saying how much he loves you, and everything is going really well.

Me: Oh, Michelle is here; she says hi.

Erik (chuckling): Oh, now she’s trying to get on my good side?        

Me (laughing): How cute! Sibling rivalry never ends. Hey, Erik, a lot of people want to know if we can start a chat room so we can chat online with you. I would think that would take a lot of energy!

Erik: So, what, we would just get on at a certain hour and chat?

Me: Yeah.

Erik: What is that really going to achieve? I think what people might need more would be to do more of the weekends.

Me: Like we did in Atlanta?

Erik: Yeah.

Me: Okay. Here’s another question from a blog member: Why are so many people unsuccessful in their suicide attempts?


Erik: A lot of the time for the failure is that it’s a way of saying, “It’s not your time.”

Me: Yeah.

Erik: And the thought of failing at the one thing, the one thing you want the most is a shock and awe experience. It shows the person that maybe what you want isn’t the right thing for you, and it helps rewire them to think about “well, if I’m living, then in what direction do I really want to go with it?”

Me: Hmm. Okay. Somebody else wants to know: What is the best way we can help people who are suicidal?

Erik: The best way to help them is to #1, don’t tell them not to do it. That’s the most stupid ass thing you can ever do. It makes them feel like you don’t “get” them at all, and they’re just going to move closer to it. The best thing you can do is ask them all the hows and the whys.

Me: Oh!

Erik: Talk about all the negative stuff first: Talk about ending life, how would it feel, what kind of relief would it give, and then ask, “Well, do you think you could achieve that relief if you stayed alive? Is there any way other than this that you can walk into that relief?

Me: Okay.

Erik: The answer is gonna be, “Yeah! There is!”

Me: Well, they might not say so at first, but…

Erik: True. But then you gotta walk into it and give them their guidance. I mean, really, every person who has tried to commit suicide or want to should be paired up with someone else. I really dig the whole life coach thing, but the people who are true life coaches who are really good at it.

Me: Wouldn’t it be cool to have life coaches from the other side? Maybe that’ll happen once people really start to believe in all this!

Erik: Mom, isn’t that what we are? That’s totally what we are!

Me: Yeah, but I’m talking about having a person who has successfully committed suicide pair up as a life coach with those who want to.

Erik: We could start that program.

Me: Yeah. That’d be great! That would be very powerful. 

Be sure to share the love, guys, and have a great weekend!

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Elisa Medhus

  • Yulia Shulga

    Erik, that’s cool idea about coaching from “other” side. But we should be able to communicate with other side easier. Should talk to my son about this. 🙂

    • Patrick

      Think of speaking German to Koreans or Chinese to Nigerians. How much effort and time is necessary to learn a language?

      Our time on Earth is intended to be separate from Heaven. Our ability to communicate doesn’t go away, however most cultures condition us from birth that messages from Heaven are a little crazy if not outright nuts.

      Some humans choose easy Heavenly communication as a trait related to their life’s purpose and others – most of us – select a lessened ability. We can always improve, however achieving easy 2 way conversation that fits our Earth conditioned definition of communication isn’t always easy and takes work.

      Eu passê por duas fases de interpretação e aprendizagem assim. Na nossa terra teve de ser mais simples do que é a communicação com o ceu.

      See what I mean?

      • Portuguese!!!! Beautiful language. You’re such a smart cookie!

      • Patrick

        Olha só, eu nunca te falê que podia falar esta linguagem? Não acredito que eu esqueci isso….

        See what living in Brazil does? (Smarts has nothing to do with it, it was pure pressure & necessity)

        We have ALL lived in Heaven and we still we do know. We ALL know the “language” just as well.

      • Type your reply…

      • Then I shouldn’t have bothered with Spanish V

  • Maria Laing

    I agree with Yulia. At this time it seems to me that it is difficult to find an accessible connection to authentic “readers” who are also affordable for the average person. Depression, despair is more common than most people realize. I wish there were more options. One question I have is why healing is so expensive now a days. I really feel for people who have mental anguish and have so little means. Thanks to Erik, Elisa, and Jamie for sharing all this.

  • What about those people who aren’t suicidal but really don’t want to be here in this physical dimension anymore? Since I’ve started reading this site and how life is in the spiritual realm I find myself really anxious to get this life over with so I can experience the full potential of my spiritual existence.

    I hope no one takes my comment as being nonchalant about suicide because it surely isn’t. I was just wondering if there are people out there like myself that aren’t suicidal but really have no desire to be in this life anymore. I guess you could say I need to be more grounded but I can’t help but to keep asking what did I come here for anyway?

    • It’s probably all about semantics here. Wanting to end your life is the same as being suicidal, but minus the depression.

    • M and M

      I’m with you Todd. Really looking forward to that done/finished feeling and celebrating in a more positive state all that was accomplished here- the positive things that I didn’t see and all the learning that happened. I keep reminding myself that this is not the place I want to be, so if it doesn’t feel how I want it to feel, so what, I can’t be expected to change that. With that in mind, it makes it a bit easier for me to keep my chin up and do what I think is for the highest good. But ultimately, I look forward to the day when it is time to move on. I know there will be a lot of things I’ll miss, but I can’t help that either.

      • I’m with both of you. No worries, cuz we’ll do some serious celebrating together when we’re there.

      • I’m with both of you. No worries, cuz we’ll do some serious celebrating together when we’re there.

      • M and M

        You made my day. I can’t wait! Think how much fun that will be. I look forward to meeting Erik in person as well. Or would that be in spirit?…

    • Anonymous

      I see it as we are here for some sort of mission. Few of us like being on the earthly plane but we suited up to come help out. So it is important that we figure out what that mission is so we didn’t go through all this for nothing. (I mean of course we still learn lessons and grow but we could do that anywhere.) We came to stupid earth because it’s important 🙂

    • Kandelmer

      Hi Todd,

      I hear what you’re saying. It often feels hard to stick it out around, and I sometimes wonder why I would ever agree to come here, to this sad and beautiful wounded Earth in the first place (if that’s how it works). But, when I really think about “the end”, natural or otherwise, I realize I’d be terribly disappointed to find out that I blew my chance to do whatever it is I wanted to do when I came here, that I went through the hardships we all go through, but never got around to fulfilling my part of whatever plan I had before I showed up, even if “my part” is as mundane as living and experiencing the pain and joy of whatever it is that’s going to happen.

      • Last night I dreamt that I crossed over (not sure how) and there was Erik. He freaked out and was so disappointed because we weren’t able to finish the work we were supposed to do. It made me feel so bad for him. I mean, he was glad to see me in one way, but in that perspective from the afterlife, I looked back on my life and thought about how trivial my hardships really had been compared to what I felt while in the foxholes here.

      • I agree with the mundane part for sure, Kandelmer. I guess I was just venting yesterday. I know there was a reason and purpose for my coming here I just need to find out what that is and get busy doing it.

        I also wanted to share with everyone that as I was sleeping yesterday I kept dreaming of this song, I can’t remember now what it was but the lyrics spoke of blue sky and white clouds (C.E. Blog’s background) and a message kept repeating after saying “you are loved.” I think Erik or someone within the CE family was sending me that message, so thank you whoever it was.

      • Wow! I did get a very down energy from your comments so I, for one, sent you love and healing energy. I was worried about you. I bet I wasn’t alone.

  • Emmy Smit

    Hi Elisa, this sounds like a real good idea. However it is sometimes a bit frustrating that not all people are open to advice from “the other side”. You see people struggling and think it would make it all so easy if they just opened up their minds a bit to the info from “the other side”. A lot of people are just not open to this, hopefully this will change bit by bit. I have tried to talk about your blog and your life to some of my colleagues working with depressed and anxious people but people’s reactions are not always positive. But Elisa, your work is amazing and fortunately there are people like you, Jamie and the spirit of Erik helping to “open up” people’s minds and believe systems.

    • I know, I’ve been the recipient of that glazed over look from people who think I’m nuts, but if one in a hundred are open to it and find answers and comfort, it’s worthwhile.

    • Anonymous

      Hi Emmy, my father-in-law is a respected psychotherapist. I saw on his counter just today his issue of Psychotherapy magazine and the cover said “The New Mindfulness Movement: do we even need psychotherapy anymore?” I don’t know what the article said but just that that was the headline was great. I asked my F-I-L about it and he actually said “No, i don’t think we do need it anymore!” He is very open to the idea of mindfulness! So yes people are fearful and it takes so long for things to change sometimes but there do seem to be signs of evolution 🙂

  • Yulia Shulga

    I don’t have particular desire to live too here but still have a few people whom I can’t leave. Besides, like Robert Monroe said, I am curious what’s going to happen next.

    My son Boris seems had his reasons 3 month ago and not this side and I guess nor “other” side could predict what he is going to do – he wasn’t depressed, on drugs, didn’t drink… . And I am trying to communicate with him, but feel like trying to walk on water, the same results. Very frustrating. So “other” side – where have you been? Probably, laughing at our futile attempts.

    • Have you tried channeling him while looking at his picture?

      • Yulia Shulga

        No, Elisa, I never heard of that kind of channeling, thank you, I will try.

        I talk to him, looking at his picture and when meditating, we even had fun once flying together in mountains (in my imagination), and I write letters to him. Renuka contacted him with Erik’s help, and it seems like he is in a healing process, and I can ask her to channel him again in a few month. It’s too long, and I don’t know why he is not available now.
        Sorry for long post.

  • Anonymous

    This is really good advice Erik, thank you.

    I would also add that it is not the best idea to tell a suicidal person they are being “selfish.” At least, not in a reproachful, lecturing way. True, they are selfish simply b/c they are focused completely on themselves b/c they are lost in a pit of despair. Most of the time they are feeling so badly about themselves, and view themselves as such a worthless waste of space, that they truly and literally feel that their loved ones and the world in general will be better off without them. They feel their loved ones suffer more having a worthless person such as themselves around than they would from that person’s suicide. They see it as ultimately a win-win where they set themselves free and their loved-ones free as well.

    Of course, they are wrong about the above; that is just how completely warped by grief and despair their thinking is, that this seems like logic and wisdom to them. It is reality to them. That is why I really appreciate Erik’s advice on how to help them get out of that reality.

    • That’s exactly what Erik said through Jamie the other day. He felt we would be happier without him. If he only knew.

      • Anonymous

        I am so sorry Elisa. That is absolutely heartbreaking. If only he knew.

        Ryan was channeling him a couple months ago and i don’t know how this came up but we were talking about how freely and fully he loved people and how they (aside from his family) didn’t know how to deal with it and how that caused him pain. I said that clearly he was very evolved and advanced when he was here, no wonder it was so hard, he was forging a path. He said he had never thought about that before but that yes, that was true, his way of loving was very pure and that he was advanced in his ability to love people in that way. He said he was glad to have become aware of that through our conversation. I said that I wished I could go back into the past and give him a hug and try to ease his suffering & tell him that it wasn’t his fault; that the reason he was having so much trouble was not b/c there was anything wrong with him but rather because he was an enlightened, evolved soul. I told Erik I would meditate on it and try to have my spirit do it. He said that while that couldn’t bring him back to life, just having that intent had already made a difference to that boy in the past (b/c as you know there is no time aside from here) and brought him comfort.
        This was very emotional for me and I really sincerely meant it. I found it surprising that just having such intent could make any difference but he really did say that it did. He had to reassure me a couple times that he was serious. I still don’t fully understand it but am still very glad. What you said reminded me of this conversation so I hope it’s ok that I shared.

      • Oh I’m so glad you shared this! Yes, you describe him perfectly. He loved so freely and deeply and was often shunned or ridiculed as a result. I’m so grateful to you and Ryan for all the help you’ve given my son! {{{{HUGS}}}}

      • Anonymous

        Oh it has been more that we have received so much, thank you both so much! We really do love Erik and are grateful to know him and he really is such a talented guy at communicating with us turtles!
        Hugs to you 🙂

  • Probably both!

  • Annalee48

    I think Erik should not be judged for using the F word. Loosing up people, listen to George Carlin, [seven words we’re not aloud to say!, Hey, now that’s someone i’d love to hear.

    • Oh God, Annalee, wait until I transcribe my interview of Carlin. Un-freaking-believable. Wow, it was really hard for Jamie, too! BTW, you’ll notice as time goes on, Erik curses less and less. Now he rarely does.

  • Wanda

    ohh my, this poor kid, at least he’s getting it out there

    • Wow, this is so powerful, Wanda. Do you mind if I post it? Maybe the CE family can rally around this kid and he can join us and Erik can take him under his wing.

      • Wanda

        You sure can!!

  • Sharneshaan

    What a great conversation. I can totally relate to not wanting to be on this planet because we do separation so well, I feel for me, I was wanting to feel connection when I didn’t want to live anymore, wanted to rest, or just have life stop still for a while, not to worry about anything and Erik was right in that I have now found out I can do this, while being in a body and feel so much more joy these days!

    I don’t think people with an issue with the swearing get that the swearing doesn’t mean what they think it means, they are only words and their own conditioned response and prejudice when feeling offended is what they could look at! Mostly people swear when they are angry and we get scared or upset when someone uses anger towards us, so we react to the swearing. Anyway just some food for thought

  • Anne Davies

    I absolutely love the idea of those who have suffered depression and attempted suicide, but have made progress on that front, assisting and providing support to those who are currently in that state of mind. I fall into the category above, having suffered extremely debilitating depression for many years which was followed by a serious (not a cry for help) suicide attempt – disappointed is not the word to describe how I felt when I came to a few days after I had tried to take my own life. However, I have made significant progress since then, am no longer on medication, and am happy and relieved that my attempt was unsuccessful, I am happily married and thinking about children in the next year or so. So a lot to live for : ).
    I am also trained as a psychotherapist and work as a healer/counsellor so this sort of work would be so rewarding and would turn a dark experience into something filled with light and love.. Do keep me posted if you begin to develop these sorts of programs or if Erik has any thoughts on the best way to set this sort of lifeline up for individuals struggling with thoughts of suicide. I’m based in London, UK, and follow this your blog daily – it’s been a huge help and inspiration and the work you and your son are doing is wonderful, thank you : ).

    • Awesome, Anne! With your history of overcoming such struggles, you’d be a perfect healer/teacher. How did you get over it? I’m still struggling. I’m better with the EMDR, but still have some very dark days.

      • Anne Davies

        Hi Elisa – well it has been an ongoing battle with lots of ups and downs but that’s how the depression curve works.. you go up and then perhaps feel like you’re sliding backwards again but in fact you’re continually moving forward with little tiny dips within the upward forward healing curve, as it were. That’s provided you do things to help yourself, that is: counselling, exercise, meditation, learning to express yourself and communicate rather than holding things in etc and I’ve received healing from some very gifted healers too, which has helped enormously. Any of the things I’ve just mentioned or some of them in combination will be helpful – you just have to find your own healing cocktail : ). And a big one is having something to live for – if there is something motivating you in your life, be it family or your life’s work, then there is every good chance that that focus and motivation will keep you going and spur you on to continue your own self healing. Hang in there Elisa – it DOES get better, I promise. Love and light xxx

  • Great take on the whole swearing bit. SInce then (I think that was from a June 2011 session) Erik has curbed his cussing a lot. I kind of miss it. It’s like, “who are you and what have you done with my son.”

    Todd, can you teach us how to connect without leaving our bodies/ I know some use DMT, 2CE and other psychedelics, but of course they’re illegal and probably can be very dangerous without a psychiatrist to administer these and guide the patient through his/her spiritual journey. Any natural ways of doing this?

  • Done!! Thanks!

  • God I sure hope so. One thing I do well is communicate my feelings. They just come out like crap from a goose. I have faith in the EMDR, but I know there is pain when peeling the layers back. Like ripping skin away.

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