All About Joy

I just found out that my ortho appointment is not this Monday; it’s next Monday! I’m dying to know what I did to my knee, but I guess I’ll have to be patient. Enjoy this post courtesy of Celestine Grace and Erik! If you want to book a session with Celestine, click HERE!

EM: Hello, Hi Celestine hey we are going to have a cool topic to end off on our session.

CG: Hi Elisa, OK

EM: And that’s about being joyful. Hello Erik, I love you

I love you sweeties hunny bun, miss you

CG: Hi Momma (both hands to face in kissing gesture)

EM: Come sit in Momma’s lap like you used to. Even if as old as 17, I would pat on my legs. “Come on, sit on Mommy” Oh he would sit on my lap and snuggle. It was so embarrassing for you. Oh well

CG: giggling/laughing He just rolled his eyes so hard, he checked out his own butt.

EM: It’s a Mother’s right K so and what more could we ask for in life than feeling joy. And all thru my life, because I have very horrific childhood. I did not know what joy felt like because I have never thought I experienced it. And so I felt um.  My life was joyless because of um I had many hardships and tragedies.  That not just Erik’s death, but a lot more. And um…And so I had this idealized version in my mind of what joy is like this I thought was it was like um maybe you feel euphoric and stuff so but you know and maybe that’s not really true.

EM: So you know first of all.  Define for me what Joy is. It‘s not like rolling around in a meadow with some nice little soft puppies and just feeling euphoric because I just don’t feel like that ever.

CG: He just told me Joy is being at peace with yourself.

EM:  Oh. Powerful, very powerful.

CG: umm hmm. That’s very Powerful he says ya know, everybody is different experience leads them to a different version of joy.  He says. But the most basic definition that I can give anybody the feeling of joy is being at peace with yourself. Because if you are at peace yourself, the world is right and how much better can you get than that?

EM: oh true so how do you get there?

CG: So that’s a different path for a lot of people MOM. And he says you know the sad part is that so many people don’t remember how to be joyful. Because life is so heavy and and…

EM: I mean I don’t, I don’t. So I am one of those, them peeps.

CG: One of those peeps…. Well do you remember MOM when I first learned how to ride a bike?

EM: oh Yeah

CG: Member I had the training wheels on the back and the first time I went down the driveway? Do you remember how I reacted? He says.  It was the best feeling I ever felt, I felt like freedom. He goes I felt like the biggest fucking kid around. I couldn’t even believe it was so amazing.

EM: Ohhhh. You liked wheels man.

CG: He liked wheels and he said he could feel you and Rune watching from behind.

EM: Right.

CG: And he says. Because you haven’t felt that experience of joy for yourself MOM – you have had experienced that thru me, thru Michelle, thru all your kids, thru Arlene, thru the new grandbaby. So people that don’t feel like they ever experienced joy, in their life, for themselves, can reach for that experience if it’s with their grandkids, if it’s with their child. He says you know ummm.

There are a lot of people that feel like they don’t have that joyful experience and I would ask them to sit down and make a list of things that they have that their next door neighbor doesn’t, that their coworker doesn’t. There is always something to be happy and joyful for and that’s a start.  So the next thing I am going to remind you of MOM…The dirt bike. The dirt bike!

EM: Oh yeah. That was big.

CG: That was huge. That was joy, unbridled joy! I felt like I could do, I could do… I felt like I was a king of king of fucking world! Anywhere! I could do anything and that’s joy and you saw that joy!

EM: Ya, well that’s one thing for me, because I couldn’t define joy in my own right, I find joy vicariously thru the people I love.

CG: um hum. (Nods her head)

EM: I guess its ok. Joy is joy wherever it comes from.

CG: He is mumbling again. But again what he is telling me showing me all weekend long about being joyful was is that we all get it from a different place. Gratitude. Is the 1st place, if you can’t find it somewhere else, he says go volunteer. Volunteer at your homeless shelter, volunteer at the animal shelter. He says. Just smile at a homeless person walking down the street. He says that could bring them joy. That could bring you joy. He says, you know it’s all about getting out of yourself here. (She points to her head out of your head).  Out of your problems or what you conceive of your problems and finding your soul. Your soul is joy.

EM: And ya know if you do facilitate joy in somebody else, you know obviously.   We are all part of the collective we are all one. So if you give joy to someone of course that’s going to be reflective back as joy for yourself.

CG: He says. Yes, and that is a great way to put it and it’s a great way to start for those of us who don’t know how to feel it or don’t believe that they don’t feel it for themselves. So he is asking me “MOM um are you telling me that you didn’t feel joy the 1st time you held Arlene?”

EM: Of course I did.

CG: There there’s your joyous moment

EM: Yeah, they are just…there have been just been far and few between. But also I wasn’t really sure how to label joy like. Joy is it a feeling of contentment and nurturing and compassion. To me I always had it in my mind Whooo fireworks and euphoria and Oh My God!  And you know, like I never felt that temper.

CG: Well he says it can be like that but don’t forget that’s a fleeting moment.

EM: Well that’s true.

CG: That’s a fleeting moment but have you ever stopped feeling joy from being around Arlene?

EM:  Oh no oh no course not. Unless she is brat. But she never is though. She never is. She’s a real good kid.

CG:  Laughing. He’s going like this. He loves her so much. CG (motions to touching her face softly).

EM: Awww she is awesome. But you know the 1 thing that helps me get thru my darkest moments that saying, I don’t know where I got it but that umm you know if you feel like your life  sucks, just remember…Your life is someone else’s fairytale.  It is!  I mean there are kids in India that are 8 years old taking care of orphans, taking care of their 2 year old brother, you know living on the streets and stuff an so like yeah we have to remember that it is a matter of perspective I think almost everything is a  matter of perspective. Ya know. You can tweak your perspective and be happy and kind of like lower your expectations. Those 2 things have to happen soo.

CG: Laughing. And he says ya know what MOM, you know you’re absolutely right. He says you know when you feeling sorry for yourself that is when you have to remember about the  poor kids taking care of each other that have no parents, 2 and 4 years old. And then there’s the parent sitting next to their kid in the cancer ward at the children’s hospital that they don’t know if they are going to make it overnight. Ya know there is so much to be joyful for in our lives and it’s all different and it’s all a matter of perspective.

CG: True joyfulness is your soul being at peace with yourself. Everything else will stem from that, from being joyful – and if you can’t remember because so many people can’t remember, try out different things. Try out different hobbies. Go hold babies at the hospital.

EM Oh I would love that.

CG: Go to Ronald McDonald house. Volunteer at the Ronald McDonald House. Paint. Whatever it is you feel like you might want to try, he says Go For it. You never know what you’re going to stumble upon.

EM: Alright. One last question. How does one find peace with themselves? What are the ingredients for that?

CG: Well MOM, this is harder than all the other questions you have ever asked me.

EM: I aim to please!

CG: Bar none. He says, again, it is SO SUBJECTIVE. But the problem with finding peace within yourself is that the person, when they go inward, starts to stumble upon some hurt that they haven’t dealt with. That is usually the stumbling block. Ya know as corny as this sounds, the 1st way to find inner peace is to forgive anything and everything that you might have felt wronged you in your life time. And to let that go. Once you can find that all forgivingness, you’ll be able to get to the core and work it out. What you do is – You figure it out 1st, what is it that is bothering you with anything.  2nd is, you make peace with it in your mind. Just ya know was there anything else I could do about it? Well no, then, why I am torturing myself. Right?

EM: Yeah.

CG: And then you move on. You can’t live there. And that is the entire secret to it.  You can’t live there. Moving forward. He says.  And it takes work and a lot of people don’t want to do that work and hurts, its painful work going deep down inside and analyzing. Everybody will and will make their lives so busy and they will keep going and going and going but they do that because they don’t want to deal with what’s happening inside.

EM: But then you can look at the painful moments in your life the ones you need to forgive etc. and find the kernel of value in it and there is always value in every every painful moment of your life and show gratitude for it. For example my childhood was so bad. We are are talking broken skulls, homelessness things like that and really bad and uh I processed it and got over it and I healed from it because I realized that um yeah I learned how to be assertive, I learned how to be compassionate, I learned how to love, I learned how to nurture I learned how to be a better mother. I probably would not have been as good a mother as I was if I had not had that childhood. So I am kind of grateful for it. Really and I know this sounds sick. But I am really happy I had that hardship. And so I think if you want to be at peace with yourself, then find the painful moments in your life, find value in it, embrace it, be grateful for it, and then let it go.

CG: (Slaps the wall) Ding ding ding ding. Erik says I love it. That is absolutely positively correct MOM! That’s how you do it.  That is how you make peace yourself.

EM: That’s awesome. Alright I love you guys and um and thank you guys, everybody for watching and thank you Celestine for being such an awesome voice for Erik. Thank you Erik, I just hug you and hug you and hug you. And I miss you so much.

CG: Awe Mom I hug you a lot he says.

EM: I know I feel it, I feel it

CG: He’s glad. He just loves you so much man. I get this overwhelming sense of love. Sometime he overwhelms me to the point where I cry with  the love he has for you.  Not because I am sad but I am just like…so…

EM: Just so much energy. So much emotional energy.

CG So much, love yes, he is awesome.

EM He is… And you are too! Thank you so much for this, I appreciate it.

CG Your welcome! Anytime, I am always available. You let me know and I will figure out the time difference. Hopefully.

EM: Ok Girl Thank you.

CG: Love ya.

EM: Love you.

CG: Take Care.

EM: You too.

CG: Thanks. Bye.

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!

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Elisa Medhus

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