Me: I’d like to talk about homeless people now. Tell me about that. Well, first of all, should we give money to them? You know there are a lot of questions about that. Some think that they’ll just spend it on alcohol, tobacco or drugs and  that it might perpetuate their plight. Or maybe we should just reach out and—

Erik: Hey. Hey, hey, Mom, Mom.

Me (chuckling): What, what, what!

Erik: If you want to give a gift, you have to give it without strings attached.

Me: Of course.

Erik: Cuz if not, you’re trying to give a gift and control ‘em.

Me: Yeah, that’s true.

Erik: That sucks. So, if you’re giving the gift, fucking shut up and give them to gift! Don’t even think, “I wonder what that man’s story is.” “I wonder how he’s going to spend the money.” “I wonder if he’ll have a drink.” “I wonder if that five bucks I just gave him will be the money that he uses for crack and he dies from it.”

Me: Yeah!

Erik: Who the fuck cares! Your battle is, do you give a gift or not? And do you know how you address that battle?

Me: Hm mm, but I have a feeling you’re going to fill me in.

Erik: Do you feel compelled to give them the money? If you do, then give it. If you give it when you don’t feel like it, you’re a dick to yourself. If you approach somebody, and they’re begging, and you feel extremely tense and reserved, and you don’t want to do it, then guess what? Pay attention to that. Own up to it. Look them in the eyes and say, “I’m so sorry I’m not going to give to your cause today. I hope you have a beautiful day.” Don’t treat him like a piece of shit.

Me: Oh, no! Of course not.

Erik: Just because they’re asking doesn’t mean you have to do what they say. Stop living your whole life by being polite and giving your resources, emotional or otherwise, when you don’t want to. And that doesn’t just apply to giving to homeless people. It has to do with a lot of situations in your life. Don’t give your resources away when you don’t want to or when they’re depleted. That takes emotional honesty so you can save yourself from guilt. Guilt is fucked up and totally unnecessary.

Me: Yeah.

Erik: You gotta do what you gotta do.

Me: Yep. But why do some people choose to be homeless from the spiritual basis? Is there some sort of spiritual contract or lesson going on there?

Erik: A lot of the times, yes, but it’s mostly people who have decided, hah, thank you, Sarah Palin, from bringing the word back to life. These people have gone rogue.

We both giggle.

Erik: It’s a bit of rebellion against responsibility, right?

Me: Mm hm.

Erik: Or the weight of the world, so actually, their career is begging. It’s those people who cannot do for themselves. Sometimes it’s a life contract, but most of the time it’s because they choose to be there outside of contracts.

Me: Okay, so it’s not to teach the masses compassion or anything like that? Is it just on the level of the individual?

Erik: If it’s teaching the masses, it’s showing the masses that you have to be proactive with your life choices. You can’t just ride the fucking ride. You not going get what you want all the time.

Me: So, it’s not usually about teaching compassion? It’s about teaching responsibility—taking care of yourself and being proactive before you get yourself in a situation like that.

Erik: Yeah.

Me: Okay. But a lot of them are mentally ill, from what I understand.

Erik: Probably so.

Me: I wonder if that causes the homelessness or if homelessness causes the mental illness.

Jamie: That’s what he was going for just now!

Me: Yeah.

Erik: The choice of the homelessness, the malnutrition, the abuse of their bodies, their sense of wanting to be removed and just kind of flake away—that’s what’s feeding the mental illness.

Me: Yeah, that sounds right. Do you think that we, as a country or as a society, do not do enough to help the homeless?

(Pause)

Erik: Actually, we do a lot. The sad thing is, it’s not publicized to the homeless. Why are we going to put all of this publicity into helping the homeless? They don’t have a fucking TV. They’re not listening to the radio. You know? So, if your market is not going to be watching it, then of course we’re not going to be putting it on TV. Actually, in every big city and even in small towns, there are great programs and church outreach efforts.

Me: I know. So, why do so many homeless people not take advantage of those resources?

Erik: Because when they go through these programs, then they feel like they owe somebody something. They have to learn. They have to take responsibility. Maybe they have to do a chore. Maybe they have to stand on their own two feet, and they just want to be a freeloader.

Me: And maybe they have to try to get a job. So, are we making any inroads with what we’re doing as a society?

Erik: Some, but there are always going to be those people who don’t want to be a part of any program, and they just want to be alone. Then we have to smile and say, “Okay.” And, like I said before, if your heart lights up and you think, “Man, I’ve gotta give this guy a buck!” And you do it, and you feel great about it. You don’t think about all the, “What is he going to do with it” thoughts. You’re giving the gift. Free.

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Dear Reader,

The journey on which you’re about to embark will take you through stories that are deeply personal and involves a relationship between a mother and her son.

As a physician raised by two atheists, I had no personal belief system about life after death. In a word, I was a confirmed skeptic. As my journey progressed, my mind opened. It is my sincerest hope that yours will open as well and that you will have a greater understanding of your own life and what’s to come ahead.

Although Erik sometimes paints a rosy picture of the afterlife, time and time again he stresses that suicide is not the answer to one’s problems. If you struggle, please understand that the information in my blog and my book is no substitute for professional help. Please click here for a list of resources for help when you find yourself considering taking your own life. Know that they are readily available when you feel that hopelessness and despair that many of us feel from time to time in our lives.

I refuse all donations and ad revenue on the blog. It is my dream to one day establish a nonprofit organization that delivers a variety of spiritual services for those who have lost loved ones to suicide and cannot afford that assistance on their own. It’s a mission of love, sacrifice, and dedication.

Love and light,

Elisa