On Sunday, July 31st at 5:00 P.M. ET, Kim is offering a Learn It Live class channeling Erik for you. Here’s what she says:
Hey there! I am really trying to expand myself so that I can accommodate more folks! I have finally got into Learn It Live, and have created a couple of classes . This one below is a group channeling where I’ll channel Erik to answer questions. There are still sooooo many that wish to have a private session, and since I’m booked up a good bit, I thought I’d give this a try to see how it goes!! I can’t wait! https://www.learnitlive.com/
Be sure to sign up soon!
Me: Hello, Kim and Erik!
Kim: Hello.
Erik: Hi, Mamacita.
Me: How are you?
Erik (wobbling his head back and forth): I’m good.
Kim: He’s dancing and bopping his head around.
Kim laughs.
Me: Awesome. Of course he’s being silly! Well, let’s talk about something that I think is very, very important. I’d like to write a magazine article on it, so if you could give me some tips, that’d be great.
Erik: Everything you talk about is important, Mom!
Me: Aw.
Kim: He’s showing a lot of love and support.
Me: Becoming your authentic self. I think so few of us are. I look at the politicians on the campaign trail, and some of them are just so robotic. It’s sad.
Erik makes a gagging sound and sticks his finger down his throat.
Me: I know!
Erik: It’s so full of fluff and stuff.
Kim (smiling): Now the language is getting really nasty.
Erik: Most of it’s bullshit. People will do anything these days to sell themselves to you and try to get approval whether it’s on a campaign trail, trying to get accepted into a group or trying to get a job. But if you try to mold yourself to fit into standards, society’s rules and what it does and doesn’t accept, that’s when you pull away from your authentic self. Let’s look at the example of getting a job. You change a lot about you to try to get that job because you want it so bad. Then you kind of maintain those changes when you get the job.
Me: Oh, yeah. That’s exhausting!
Erik: It is, and that’s when people begin to lose touch with themselves. That’s when they lose that connection with their authentic self. In doing that, for a lot of people, it’s based on fear. People are afraid of rejection. People are really fucking afraid of not fitting in, of not being a part of a group. That’s a huge reason people change all kinds of things about themselves: what they wear, what they say, who they hang out with and what they do. One of the trends that’s pulling people away from [their authentic self] right now is social media. This is a huge culprit because people will post things—
Kim starts laughing.
Kim: He’s kind of laughing. He’s laughing hysterically! He’s talking about dating sites.
Erik: That guy that’s 6’3” and dark and handsome is really 5’2” and a little more plump!
Kim and I laugh.
Erik: [Through social media,] people project things that aren’t true to who they are through Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or dating sites.
Me: So, Erik, you peruse the dating sites, do you?
Erik: Oh my god, Mom, I’m not trying to knock it, but it can be a joke because people are so afraid of being truthful about who they are and what they like so they’re like, “Well, if I tweak this a little bit, I might be more accepted,” or “If I change this just slightly, people will like me better.”
Me: It’s the opposite with me. My profile picture looks really good and is less than a year old—
Thanks to a professional photographer and airbrushing!
Me: –so I get hit on all the time on Facebook and have to say, ‘Believe me, I don’t really look like that. You don ‘t know how old I am!’ So, it’s annoying.
Erik (laughing): That happens, and it’s a good thing!
Yeah, I’ll take what I can get.
Erik: It basically boils down to the fact that people are afraid to be true to themselves, to be who they are because of so many fears, the fear of rejection being the main culprit.
Me: So what can they do?
Kim: Well, he’s starting to talk about why we fear rejection. What are we afraid of?
(Pause)
Erik: Kim, you sound like a dude.
Kim: I have bronchitis, so…
Me: You sound the same to me! That’s more up your alley, Erik. You don’t like these mousy, girlie voices.
Erik: So why are we afraid of rejection? If we’re afraid of not being accepted into a certain group and we are rejected, we put up this wall and stop our own personal growth. People feel that. They might not be able to identify what’s happening, but they can feel it. So they shut down. That’s a depressed state of being, and people don’t like to feel that way. That’s why they work so hard to achieve something other than their authentic self. That’s all.
Me: Okay.
Erik: No, that’s not all. We’re not done!
Me: No, no. Give me some tips. It’s my theory—and I wrote parenting books based on that theory—that’s we’re all pack animals, so we need to have a sense of belonging. But there are a couple of ways of achieving that. You can conform and be what you think the pack wants you to be, which creates a society of externally directed approval seekers, or earn acceptance into the pack by contributing something meaningful to it. That allows the person to be self-directed [and free to follow his or her own inner compass.]
(Pause)
Me: Just my two cents, but the floor is yours!
Erik: I agree with what you’re saying. For people out their listening, think about it like this: Instead of trying to change to fit in, listen to who you are. Honor your natural, authentic self and search for belonging within that.
Kim: He’s giving me stereotypes.
Erik: Let’s say you’re a real peaced out hippie. That’s who you are, and you’re not going to change that. Instead of trying to change that to fit into different groups of people, find where you belong. Find where you feel like you belong. That doesn’t mean everyone has to be the same as you. That would be kind of self-defeating. Instead, when you strive for acceptance, make sure that you are staying true to who you are within that. It’s not like, “I’m going to be friends with this group of people because they’re just like me.” Think, “They accept me as I am. They know how I’m different, and they’re allowing that.”
Kim: He keeps wanting me to bring us this. I’m an army wife, so there’s a whole group of us, and I have a lot of different groups of friends. We’re all different, but I feel like—and he really wants me to share this—I can be Kim in every group of friends.
Erik: So, make sure you don’t have to change who you are based on who you’re with.
Me: Yeah.
Erik: Because then that’s going to just uproot you from being grounded in your authentic self.
Me: So, how do you find your authentic self again if you’ve totally lost it?
Kim: He’s listing all sorts of things!
Erik: By being grateful for who you are, being respectful to self, allowing yourself to be who you are and accepting that. When you say, “You know, I really like this. It’s not popular right now, and everyone is going to think I’m a freak, but I like it!” you honor yourself. When you honor yourself in those ways, no matter what, that connects you back to your authentic self.
Me: That’s good!
Erik: When you accept every part of who you are, even the things that you don’t like, even the parts where you think, “Uh, I’m a little overweight. I’m a little chubby and soft,” and you’re able to accept that part of you, that’s going to help you connect to your authentic self. Practice that in many ways. Look at different avenues in your personal life and give yourself compassion and acceptance. If you’re struggling in your marriage, don’t think, “Oh, I’m a horrible person because I think this or that.” Instead, accept that as a part of yourself, and in that—
Kim: He’s getting all soft and mushy now.
Erik: That’s the true essence of staying connected to your authentic self, liking the good and ugly parts of yourself.
Me: And that takes a lot of emotional honesty!
Erik: It does! Let’s admit it. We all have ugly parts.
Me (pointing to myself): Yes!
Erik: Being honest with yourself and with others.
(Long pause)
Kim (laughing and shaking her head): I’m not going to repeat that!
Oh no. Now what has he said?
Me: Oh, come on, Kim! Bad words?
Kim: I don’t know how it will be taken!
Find out Friday just what nasty words Erik shared in Part Two!
Don’t forget that you can ask Erik questions in Kim’s free Facebook live streaming tonight at 5 PM PT/6 PM MT/7 PM CT/8 PM ET. Here’s what I posted a few days ago:
