I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed the alien interview series. I think that, not only have we learned a lot about them, but also about ourselves. It’s interesting to see the human race through the eyes of those who aren’t human. Here you go!

Me: Tell us about your medical technology.

Aliens: Would this question be better suited if you asked about medical technology for human beings or medical technology for us?

Me: I guess for you, first.

Jamie (shaking her head): They don’t require medical attention. They don’t possess physical bodies like we do.

Lucky stiffs.

Me: So, you don’t get cancer or other diseases?

Aliens: No we don’t. The soul, as you would describe, the soul, the body, the thought is one piece.

Me: Hmm!

Aliens: One piece.

Me: Okay. Do you have medical technology that you use on us?

(Long pause)

Aliens: Yes.

Me: Well, can you cure diseases and help my neck not hurt and help Jamie with whatever she has?

Jamie smiles.

Jamie: Um, they’re saying yes, but the only instruments and tools they’re showing me are fingers. They do have fingers.

Me: Okay.

Jamie: They’re really long. They look like they would have an extra joint.

Me: Okay. So, do you practice medical technology on us, then?

Jamie shakes her head, no.

Me: You have the power to, but you don’t?

Jamie nods.

Me: Okay. Now, tell us about, well, first tell us, what do you do for food? What do you eat, nachos? Alien nachos?

Jamie smiles and closes her eyes for a while.

Jamie: They thought that that was funny.

I chuckle.

(Long pause)

Jamie (laughing): I can’t help but stutter! They don’t create food or put food on a plate to eat. This looks like a nourishment source. It has a color to it like a bright pinkish purple, but it has a sheen or shimmer.

Me: Okay.

Jamie: I know it doesn’t, it’s not water. You know what it really reminds me of? It sounds so weird. If you had a pink-purple hand sanitizer—

Me (surprised): Oh! Okay.

Jamie: It sometimes gets the air bubbles in it. It looks a little jelly-like in a way.

Me: Alien Purell, huh? So, where does it come from?

(Pause)

Jamie: They’re trying to explain it to me. It’s not a plant per se, but it is a type of growth, and you harvest this kind of gel, fluid thing, but it’s really all they need. They don’t eat out of creativity—

I guess she means cooking creative meals.

Jamie: They don’t eat out of taste.

Me: Oh, okay. Where does it grow to be harvested? Is it in the ground, or…

Jamie: When they’re in ships, the best way I know how to explain it is like an individual, large room like a terrarium, or—

Me: Okay.

Jamie: But I don’t see casual areas like seating for eating, no cafeteria, no restaurant.

Me: Do you have jobs to make money? I’m talking about mundane [day to day] jobs. I know you’re here to help us in many ways, but no taxicab drivers, no jobs in the way we have?

Aliens: We’re not an industrial race.

Me: So you don’t need [something like] money?

Aliens: We don’t need money.

Me: Okay. What does your environment look like on your planet?

Again, Jamie closes her eyes and concentrates, with difficulty, on the information they’re giving her.

Me: Including your cities, if you have them.

Aliens: We don’t have cities like you. There are no buildings like you have, no structures.

Jamie: For them being so tall, the plant life—I don’t know how to describe it—there are leaves that are larger than them.

Me: Oh, wow.

Jamie: So, I wouldn’t necessarily call it jungle-like, but it’s very colorful. There are spacious areas. For some reason I can’t really see how they live, where—

(Long pause)

Me: Do they have bodies of water, things of that nature?

Jamie: They do have different terrains. I would say yes. They have mountainous areas. I don’t see large oceans like we possess. It’s more, um—

Me: Like lakes and rivers?

Jamie: More like springs like things that would be under the surface.

Me: Okay. All right. Do you have music or other types of arts?

Jamie nods.

Me: Okay.

Jamie: Yes, art. The visual and performing arts are unnecessary to express themselves, so they haven’t really focused on or created that.

Me: Well, how do you express yourself then?

Jamie: They see every living being a piece of art in expression.

I wish I could have had them elaborate on many of their answers, but there was simply not enough time.

Me: Hmm! Do you have animals like pets and things of that nature?

Jamie: That was almost offensive.

I gasp in horror. I offended an alien?

Me: Oh, how about “animal companions”? I’m sorry. Oops.

Jamie: It’s all right.

Me: Describe one of the most common ones like our common ones are dogs and cats.

(Long pause)

Jamie: That’s not anything we have. If you can imagine that the wind would come in separate contained creatures then that’s what it would be.

Me: The wind?

Jamie nods.

Me: Wow. I’ll have to think about that one. Erik, can you clarify that?

(Long pause)

Jamie (to Erik, nodding with a smile on her face): That’s what I thought! (To me) He’s having a hard time with this as well.

Me: Oh, okay.

Jamie: It’s so unusual. If you could imagine seasons—rain, wind, like weather patterns—

Me: Mm hm.

Jamie: —the heat of the sun to be represented by an energetic creature. They would move in herds, and they can change the environment and atmosphere.

Me: Interesting.

Jamie: Through their migration, they feed and change and alter the surface of their planet.

Me: Oh! Do you have any special connection to any animals or any living forces on Earth?

Aliens: No, we’re not like humans in that respect. We don’t have favorites. We don’t identify one being as being closer and one being farther away.

Me: Okay. What’s the name of your planet?

Jamie: I can see it written down. It’s not, to me, in English. It’s not actually a language that I know of. I would associate it more to like a hieroglyphics kind of—

Me: Okay. So, do you live in any type of dwelling? We touched on that before [when we talked about your environment]. Do you live in any kind of dwelling?

Jamie: It’s almost like they live inside their planet or inside the plant. It’s not—

Me: Inside the plant or among the plants?

Jamie: No, inside.

Me: Actually inside the plants. Wow. Fascinating. So, you say you’re not an industrial species, but yet you build spacecrafts.

Aliens: Yes.

Me: So, you don’t have to have factories or things of that nature to build these things?

Aliens: We have places that we build them, but they’re not factories.

Me: Okay. So, you don’t have cities, but you do have places where you build certain things like your spacecrafts.

Jamie: Mm hm. Apparently that’s been handed down like what you’d consider centuries or generations. That how this works.

Me: All right. I just have a couple more questions. Tell us about your personal lives and your personalities.

Jamie: Well, they’re definitely not clowns!

Jamie laughs with her head in her hands, and I chuckle.

Me: So, they’re a barrel of monkeys. Not someone you’d want to take to a party to liven things up.

Jamie: Right. They’re not animated.

Me: Okay.

Jamie: But they’re not solemn. They’re extremely grounded and –

Jamie struggles for the words.

Me: And calm?

Jamie: And calm, like I think I should go to sleep for a few hours after this!

She and I both laugh.

(Long pause)

Jamie: You’re talking about personality. This is weird. This is kind of how Erik talks about being in spirit where you don’t have to know all the information. You can access it when you need to know it. They function in the same way. Like, for me—this is so weird, and it’s always weird when you do something new, but it’s as if they can use every part of my brain, every sense at one time to communicate. They don’t have a verbal language, an audio wave receiving it or a visual cue of how the position of body is so we know if the person is angry or not. They use the entire part [of the brain.] Everything is firing off. I don’t even know how to explain.

No wonder she’s struggling with the translation!

Me: We don’t have the language to explain so much of this. So, what do you do [as a routine]? Like we get up in the morning; we eat breakfast. Tell me about the typical day in the life of an alien. Then, I have one more question, and we’ll close.

Jamie (whispering): A typical day.

(Very long pause)

Jamie: They do have rests.

Me: Okay. Do you lie in a bed? Do you hang from a plant? How do you do that?

Jamie: It depends on if they’re on their home planet or if they’re somewhere else.

Me: On their home planet what’s it like?

Jamie: You could call it a bed, but it’s made of plants. A plant substance. That’s the only thing I know how to call it.

Me: It’s okay. Some things we just don’t have the language for.

Jamie’s too hard on herself with this interview.

Me: Okay, so you have periods of rest; you have periods when you nourish yourself –

Jamie: They don’t necessarily have a routine like we do, like get up and have breakfast. They don’t have order, but just because order is absent, it does not mean chaos exists.

Me: Ah!

Jamie: It’s just, um. It’s like always being part of a dance.

Jamie smiles.

Me: Oh. Are they nomads?

Jamie (shaking her head): No.

Me: Okay, one last question. We talked about the technology you have that we don’t have. What other abilities do you have that we don’t?

Aliens: Transportation.

Me: No, your personal abilities with your bodies like telepathy, things like that.

Aliens: Transportation.

He/she stubbornly sticks to his answer.

Me: What do you mean by transportation? You can transport your body from place to place?

Jamie nods.

Me: Is it kind of like the “Beam me up, Scotty” where you sort of demolecularize. I just made up that word. Is it something like that?

Aliens: Similar, yes.

Me: Okay. Can you go into a little bit more detail?

Jamie listens.

Jamie (shrugging her shoulders): It’s just their mode of transportation.

Not getting any more, I guess.

Me: Okay. So, that’s the way that they can come to our planet, too, right? Not just within a craft, but—

Jamie nods.

Me: All right. That’s interesting. What else do you have? You have telepathy, I’m sure.

Jamie nods.

Me: You have senses that are different from ours, perhaps?

(Jamie listens for a long time.)

Jamie: Um, I would call that remote viewing, but they use another entity to be able to see.

Me: Another entity? Okay.

Jamie: So, let’s say that I wanted to know what was going on in your house. I, Jamie, could connect to you, Elisa, and I would be able to see everything that you see, and feel, you know, experience what you’re going through.

Me: Ah, like through another entity’s eyes and senses, etc.

Jamie nods.

Me: And you have senses?

Aliens: Yes.

Me: Anything else about your abilities that we don’t have? I mean, I’m sure there are plenty, but any others that are extremely significant?

Aliens: Regrowth.

Me: Ah! So what do you mean? If you chop off an arm, it grows back?

Jamie smiles and nods.

Me: Well, that comes in handy!

Unless you suck out the cellulite in your thighs and belly through liposuction.

Jamie giggles.

Me: Anything else you’d like to share with us?

Jamie (still smiling widely): Erik likes that concept, too. Wouldn’t –

Jamie cracks up, covers her mouth, unable to finish her sentence.

Me: Oh god.

Jamie: Wouldn’t—

She laughs and covers her face with her hand.

Jamie: I can’t even say it, Elisa. I’m sorry.

Me: What is it, the Lena Bobbitt thing?

Jamie (blushing): How did you come up with that?

I know my son well.

Me: I knew it was that! I knew it was like. I don’t know the guy’s name, Mr. Bobbitt, I guess, but he got something bobbed off, but, yeah, this [conversation] could degenerate.

Jamie: That was so weird. You even—that was hysterical!

Jamie wipes her tears away.

Me: All right, so anything else that you want to share before we close and give Jamie a rest? Poor Jamie!

Jamie nods with eyes wide.

Jamie (shaking her head): They’re not sharing anything else.

Me: Well, thank you so much for illuminating so many questions. I really appreciate you guys. I’m so grateful for the help you give us meager Earthlings!

Aliens: Thank you.

Me: Okay. Bye.

Jamie waves bye and sighs with relief.

Me: Did they wave?

She shakes her head.

Me: Okay. Poor baby! Oh my god! This was fascinating. Jamie, you need to go lick your wounds.

Jamie smiles and nods big.

Me: Take a break here!

Jamie: I need to pinch myself, maybe.

Me: I know!