Tears dried, check. Wounds licked, check. Feelings mended, check. Laptop opened, check. Ready to rock and roll, check. Thanks for bearing with me, guys. Sometimes I guess I can be kind of a (as Erik would say) p#@%y, especially now that I’m off that wretched fat pad growing, track pad harassing antidepressant, Abilify. Yes, the Bloggies website is a bitch to navigate and even when you’re successful, half the time you don’t know if your vote went through, so by no means do I blame you, my babies. Plus, the universe is a wondrous and perfect thing that behaves in a way that is best for all of us, me included. So, we’ll see what unfolds. I just feel blessed to have been in the finalist last year. We’ll knock their socks off in the 2013 Bloggies and try for the Webbys, too!
That said, I hope you all vote for Kristina’s Pretty Shiny Sparkly in the MUCH simpler voting process. All it takes it clicking on two grey radio buttons on the lower left hand corner of her icon under best fashion blog and best designed blog. Click on this link and keep scrolling until you get to those two categories:
>
>
>
>
>
>
Voted yet?
>
>
>
>
>
>
How ’bout now? Okay fine. Here’s part two of Mister Funny Guy, John Belushi:
Me: So, when you crossed into the afterlife, tell me what you saw and thought?
John: I really didn’t differentiate the two. My life on earth was very fairy tale-created. It was handmade and pampered. A lot of my days I lived high on something.
Me: Are you talking about being high on drugs or life?
John: Oh, on drugs.
Me: Okay, okay.
John: You know, I did the greatest show on earth, Saturday Night Live, and it was through that that I felt so invincible. And when you feel that invincible, it’s a damn scary thing. I had a few years when I was trying to do my own thing, and without that structure of being on Saturday Night Live, I just gently went off the edge. That’s when I had, you know, speed, cocaine, marijuana, Jack Daniels. Whatever I wanted to put in my body, I put in my body. I just felt invincible like I was never going to die. What really sucked is I did die and I didn’t know I died! How ironic is that shit? Here in Heaven, everything is wonderful; I’m visiting people that I know are dead, cuz I’ve always wanted to meet them—the rock stars of the ages, musicians and actors, and I really felt like I went from one Green Room to the next Green Room.
Me: Oh, how funny!
John: By the time I was done being entertained, I realized that was it; I wasn’t going back; it wasn’t some extended dream.
Me: And once you realized that—
John: My funeral was over; everything was done. It was over.
Me: What did you think at that point? Once you realized, “Wow, I’m dead,” what were your thoughts?
John: I thought, ‘Damn, somebody really saved my ass!’
Me: Saved you from yourself?
John: Yeah.
Me: Okay, once you knew you were in Heaven, what did your surroundings look like? Can you describe what you saw?
John: I never really had an idea of what Heaven should be like for me, and so I’m guessing my version of it just imitated what I was familiar with on earth. Grass, homes, different locations, but it definitely came with an emotional palette that I couldn’t have while living on earth.
Me: Mm. Tell me more about that.
God, I kind of sound like Sigmund Freud, don’t I? Next I’ll be asking him how he felt about his mutha.
John: It was very eye-opening, enlightening to realize that I was having these expansive emotions without trying to reach in and get them or try to snuff them out with a little bit of cocaine. It was just a pure feeling of, you know, not to sound like a wacko, but just to be loved.
Me: Aw.
John: Even the hardest of assholes that you look at—everybody is a bit of an M & M. Hard coated shell on the outside, soft chocolate on the inside.
Me: Oh, yeah. Was it your destiny to die when and how you did?
John: One hundred percent, yes.
Me: Why? Was it an exit point for you to learn something from that?
Jamie (giggling): He’s got that look like “Ha ha ha ha wouldn’t you like to know!”
John: Hell, yeah it was an exit point. You know, if I had not croaked then, it was just gonna be the next day or the next. I wasn’t going to stop what I was doing, and I was just doing more and more. That’s like the epitome of a mute person yelling. I was asking for death, but I wasn’t putting any words to it.
Me: Now, why? Were your spiritual contracts over? Why did you die so young? Was your death to teach someone something or to learn something?
John: You know, I think there’s a point where you only go so far by doing good and then you have to switch over and start doing bad. I really think I was reaching that point. So it was, “All right, you’ve had enough with “kick you over so everybody remembers you as the funny, innovative, forward-thinking crazy” rather than the drug addict asshole wife-beater, whatever I was going to turn into, because it wasn’t going to be good.
Me: Yeah.
John: I think you can see that, you know—
Jamie (giggling): I love how he does that snicker. Like he pauses, but sound still comes out like “eh eh eh eh” kind of like the French do.
Jamie, Erik and I laugh.
Jamie: He says they were filming a documentary on him, like almost until he died. It’s weird. He signed onto something and they were filming him.
John: Going back and being able to look at a consciously dying person, you can clearly see it was my time.
Me: Okay. Can you describe your afterlife now? What does it look like, and what do you do there?
John: I don’t know; I guess it symbolizes anything that I want and what was in my world when I was on earth.
Me: Do you have a life’s work over there?
John: Please, I like to say I don’t!
Jamie giggles.
Me: Okay, a life’s play, then? I mean, what do you do all day?
John: Ah, I like to do whatever I want.
Me: Which is?
John: Maybe it’s nothing and maybe it’s everything!
Me: Give me an example. What did you do yesterday?
John: That’s where you got me; what is yesterday?
Me: Oh yeah. I knew that was going to come! That pesky old time thing.
John (with a mock evil tone): Ha ha ha!
Erik and I laugh.
John: I’m just enjoying the whole of the consciousness of the wrapping wrapped up in everything.
Me (sounding confused): Okay. What insights did you gain once you knew you were in the afterlife, once you had that special perspective from the other side of the veil?
John: I learned that I was a loud motherfucker!
Jamie giggles in embarrassment.
