Today, I got back from an appointment, and just before I got out of my car, I spotted something yellow on the floor. It’s an Airsoft pellet, the exact same type and color Erik occasionally apports and drops from the ceiling over me. He used to love playing Airsoft war with the neighborhood kids when he was very young. There is no way that pellet could have wandered in on its own. We don’t even have any Airsoft guns or pellets anymore. Pretty cool. Thanks for the “hello,” my sweet boy.

Here’s the information for the radio show I’m going to be on tomorrow at 1:00 PM CT:

Now for the grand finale of our friend, Judas:

Me: Can you share one of the lives that most influenced your one as Judas?

Robert: He was telling me earlier that he was hoping you’d ask that.

(Long pause)

Robert: It involved betrayal.

Judas: In many of my incarnations, the theme was betrayal. In the one I want to share, I’m a chimpanzee.

Robert: He’s playing out a bunch of visuals now. I’m trying to figure out what he’s talking about. In this one it was about a dereliction of duty.

Judas: We were going to drink at a river.

Me: His troop?

Robert: Yeah, his group of chimps.

Judas: I wasn’t a leader. I wasn’t the alpha. I was a mother with a baby.

Me: Oh, okay.

Judas: Part of me didn’t want the responsibility of taking care of a baby. I didn’t always take care of it and resented that I had it.

Robert: Sounds like a human being.

Me: Yeah, some.

Judas: So we went to the river to drink, and my anger at everyone else for me believing they were making me feel this guilt over that unwanted responsibility made me not warn them of the dangers at the river. There were crocodiles lurking just off the banks, and I knew they were there, but I let them go there on purpose.

Me: How awful!

Robert: That sounds a lot like how it played out with Jesus, only it’s a little different because in that life you all communicated.

Judas: In this life, I did not communicate with anyone. I spitefully kept all of this to myself. So the dereliction of duty was not warning them of the danger.

Me: So, what happened?

Judas: There was the betrayal as well, but also my own baby. I put it at the edge of the water fully expecting a crocodile to get it.

I gasp.

Judas: And it did.

Me: Aw.

Judas: And it didn’t just get the baby. Other crocodiles got 2 or 3 others. No one knew what I did, of course.

Me: Well, I guess you got Friday and Saturday nights free for partying.

Judas: In the moment, I felt unburdened. I didn’t realize I had burdened myself with guilt. I never had another baby after that. The reason I’m saying this is because human beings think they’re the only ones gifted with this broad range of emotions. Every species on this planet feels emotions, and chimpanzees express emotions in a similar way to humans. I think that’s why I chose that life. They can feel rage, betrayal, jealousy—

Me: What did you get out of that life? Why did you design that life for yourself?

Judas: Just to have the experience. It’s as simple as that.

Me: So it wasn’t something like learning self-forgiveness?

Judas: It was more about understanding responsibility. Being irresponsible and having the consequences of that taught me about the importance of responsibility.

Me: Yep. Learning through contrast. The story of the human experience. That’s very interesting.

Judas: Yes.

Me: Do you have any messages or advice for humanity?

(Long pause)

Me: We need words of wisdom, Judas!

Judas: My only advice is about behavior that humans are slowly evolving out of. We put people on pedestals and worship them.

Me: Yeah.

Judas: Then when we tire of them, we knock them off of the pedestal and want to crucify them literally or figuratively. This has happened over and over again in human history.

Me: Including with Christ, I guess.

Judas: This is why I chose that phrasing. We tend to do this because we don’t want to take responsibility for our own choices. We don’t want to think for ourselves. We want a leader to do it for us.

Me: It’s hard.

Judas: Of course it is. Then when that leader no longer fits the needs we designed for them, we get angry with them. It might start out with boredom or ridicule and then rise to anger. Parents often put their child on pedestals and have expectations for them that sometimes aren’t met. Sometimes we do it with politicians.

Okay, so just so you know, I have no politicians on pedestals now.

Judas: We do this with so many different people in so many different ways. If there is anything you desire in life, it’s in your power to create it for yourself. You just have to believe that you can.

Me: That’s so true.

Judas: That doesn’t excuse anyone else from saying everybody’s on their own because we are a collective. We’re interdependent. We’re here to help each other be responsible for each other and ourselves. That extends past human beings to the entire planet, and once we get out into the Universe, it will extend there.

Me: So what do you think about the state of humanity? Please be gentle!

Judas: This isn’t just my perspective. When you are in spirit, you have a deeper and broader awareness. It’s exponential compared to when you’re in a human body. We understand—and that includes me, of course—that everything that happens is meant to expand our awareness of ourselves, of the beauty of existence, all of those things. I won’t say that I’m not hopeful because that would not be truthful. I am hopeful.

Me: Even the bad expands our awareness and helps us evolve.

Judas: Yes. Every experience pushes us, compels us, motivates us, as consciousness, to become aware.

Me: Aware of what?

Judas: Awareness is so expansive. It just depends on what you’re focusing on. It can be multiple things or a single thing like, as I mentioned earlier, a betrayal.

Me: Is there a general thing we’re striving to have a more expansive awareness of?

Judas: I was just going to tell you. Human beings are, in the broadest sense of the word, healers. We’re born healers.

Me: Hm.

Judas: Just as Christ is, we are all healers. All life in the Universe is innately constructive rather than destructive. Although there are some times when it’s necessary to be destructive to heal. Sometimes things do have to break down, but ultimately, even the destruction of things can lead to new constructions. In order to come into full awareness of their being healers, human beings, they need to go through all of that physical pain, emotional suffering.

Me: Interesting. So what do you think about Erik? He so graciously brought you in and listened to what you had to say.

Judas: Erik is a perfect example to everyone of what a healer is.

Me: How so?

Judas (smiling): Because healing doesn’t just happen in one way. It happens in many ways, but what opens people up to allowing themselves to be healed is laughter.

Oh, that’s Erik, all right.

Judas: Erik is very good at understanding that because he spent a lifetime of not laughing very much.

Me (sadly): Yes.

Judas: You see how that contrast works? He uses laughter to heal. He uses laughter all the time.

Robert: He makes me laugh all the time!

Me: I know! Humor is powerful stuff.

Robert: Very.

Erik: Humor, joy, it all boils down to connection. That’s what heals.

Robert: He’s showing me a visual of blog members or maybe even people not associated with the blog, and he’s sitting down with his hand on their shoulder whether they know it or not, you know, comforting, nurturing, supporting.

Me (tearing up): Aw.

Robert: All traits of a healer.

Me: So you’re a healer, Erik.

Erik: I guess so.

Me: Aw, a healer and a guide. I’m so proud of you. Are you proud of him, Judas?

Judas: Of course. We’re all very, very happy with Erik and the work he does.

Me: Okay. Two more things. What do you think about Channeling Erik and the direction we’re going in?

(Long pause)

Me: Any advice? Anything?

Judas: The only advice I have is for you. It’s about rest. Don’t feel guilty when you take time for yourself. It’s okay to stop for a little bit and disconnect.

Me: Yes, I do that sometimes.

Erik: There are times you know you have to do other things, but in the back of your mind you think, “Oh I have to do this. I have to do that.” Or “What do I do next?” Sometimes it’s okay to disconnect.

Wish I knew how to be better at it!

Erik: It’ll take practice. You’re just that kind of person, Mom. You’re very driven, and, like Michelle, you’re very kinetic.

Me: Well, I like being busy.

Judas: That’s okay, but if you start to feel like you’re suffering, then you know it’s time to pull away.

Me: All right. Anything else on Channeling Erik?

Judas: We’re all very pleased with Channeling Erik. It’s raising consciousness.

Me: We?

Judas: The collective. Human consciousness is being elevated by it in more ways than you know. I won’t go into it because it might seem so disconnected to you.

Me: Well thank you. So Erik, why don’t you ask Judas a question?

Erik: Okay, Mom.

(Pause)

Robert (laughing): Be serious!

Me: It’s not like him to be serious!

Robert: Oh, I know. He just looked down and said, “So what do you think about toe jam?”

Robert and I laugh.

Me: And your answer is??

Judas (smiling): It’s unsightly.

Me: I guess so!

Robert’s still laughing.

Robert: Erik, do you have another, more serious question?

Erik: I like to break the tension.

Me: Good! That’s one of your gifts.

(Pause)

Me: Talking toe jam with Judas!

Robert: Mm hm.

Erik: I’m trying to think of a good one, but I’m in kind of a goofy mood now.

Me: Oh boy. Of course.

Erik: In your life as Judas, did you have a wife or someone you were involved with? Were you married, and did you have kids? It’s not like I don’t know the answer to this. I just wanted to ask something humans could connect with.

Me: That’s a good idea.

(Pause)

Judas: No. There was no one.

Me: Aw.

Robert: Really? I don’t know anything about his life.

Me: I don’t either. Interesting. Well, thank you, Judas. Do you have anything else you’d like to say in your own behalf or for anybody?

Judas: I didn’t want the responsibility.

Robert laughs.

Me: Oh, of course you didn’t! Oh my god, the chimpanzee in you never left! That makes sense. Anything else you want to say before you go?

Judas: The only thing left is to say, “thank you.”

Me: Thank you. This was wonderful. I think this will enlighten a lot of people and clear up misunderstandings about you.

Judas (clasping his hands together): I suppose one would say I was the black sheep.

Me: I know, but you’re not in my book. Bye.

Judas waves goodbye and walks off.