Well, my rice experiment isn’t going too well. The first one growing mold is the one I send thank yous to, and the one I call an idiot is fermenting nicely. Erik says that I can’t play the part of the asshole, and I feel so bad about calling that one jar of rice an idiot that I subconsciously send it love and healing energy! Why is the “thank you” jar molding? Maybe that’s a reflection of me being uncomfortable with compliments. Just a guess. So, Erik told me to just let the labels on the jars (thank you, idiot and ignore) do the job for me. I might have to dump it all out and try again. Sigh.

Enjoy the next to the last part of our interview with Judas!

Me: Any other disciples you want to give a shout out to, Judas?

Judas (smiling): No. There is nothing more that I need to say to them.

Me: Okay. What were you here on Earth to learn?

Judas: Don’t second-guess your actions. Do what you’re naturally inclined to do.

Me: Okay.

Judas: That’s part of being who you are.

Me: Well, that’s true.

Judas: So many people don’t do what they’re meant to do as individuals. They aren’t being who they are because they fall into the pressures of what society and others say they should or should not do. Or sometimes they get all bogged down in the right and wrong of things. You cannot completely ignore these external things, but you have to keep them in balance. That being said, I could have learned to balance who I am with consequences that won’t be too chaotic.

Me: Okay.

I go on even though I don’t fully understand. Don’t ask me why.

Me: Do you feel like you accomplished your lesson?

Judas (smiling): Yes, and here’s a little secret.

Me (teasing): I won’t tell anybody.

Judas (laughing and teasing back): Oh, I know you won’t.

I laugh.

Judas: You always accomplish your lessons whether you realize it or not. It’s not the doing that makes a lesson become accomplished. It’s the awareness you gain from having gone through an experience that you might label as a lesson.

Me: Ah!

Judas: You develop a greater depth to your awareness. Whether you gain that awareness in the physical world or the spiritual one doesn’t matter.

Me: Mm. So can you give me an example of an experience you learned from or gained a deeper awareness from?

(Very long pause)

Robert: I guess he’s trying to be thoughtful about it because he’s just standing here smiling.

Judas: There were so many experiences. I have to choose one. I guess my speaking more freely than I should have is a broad example.

Me: Okay.

Judas: And I’ll just repeat what I said earlier. You can be who you are as long as you develop an awareness of what your actions might create for yourself or others. You have to learn how to put those in balance for you. The balance is different for each of us. It’s not the same for everybody. The only thing that is the same is that what you feel is a sense of satisfaction or comfort. That doesn’t mean you don’t feel pain. Pain and suffering are two different things.

Me: Tell me the difference.

Judas: Pain in the physical body is more physical. Your knee hurts; your head hurts. That is pain. You can develop suffering along with that if there is an emotional lack of acceptance of the pain.

Me: So suffering is the emotional resistance to pain?

Judas: Yes.

Me: Wow.

Judas: Pain or experiences in general—you can have an experience that creates a lot of emotional suffering only because you can’t accept it. That does not mean you’re necessarily in any physical pain.

Me: So in my case, my heart aches from Erik’s death. It’s a physical pain. There was suffering from that because I was not able to accept him being gone.

I choke up a bit.

Judas: What do you think?

Me: I don’t know. You tell me what I think.

Robert laughs.

Me: That’s the way it works with these here interviews. I ask the questions, and you answer them.

Robert and I laugh, and Judas smiles. I bet he’s not all that impressed.

Me: I just want to understand the anatomy of what you’re saying. That’s what it seems like you’re saying.

Judas: Yes, there is some resistance to what is happening when there’s suffering.

Me (teasing): Now was that so hard to say, Judas? Huh?

Robert laughs and Judas smiles. Again, probably not impressed by my poor attempt at humor.

Me: What were you here to teach?

Judas: What I said earlier. Being yourself.

Me: Okay, so the same thing. That was your spiritual mission?

Judas: That was a big part of it. To get more into the subtleties of it—

Robert: Oh, a butterfly just passed by. That always happens when I channel!

Me: Oh, wow!

Robert: Two of them.

Judas: –to remember that you can be who you are and make sure it’s balanced for you.

Me: Even in the silence you can be who you are. Actually, in the silence, without nervous chatter, you can truly recognize yourself.

Judas: Yes. You have the opportunity to examine why you are nervous.

Me: Yeah. ‘Who am I? What is my definition of me outside of the opinion of these people I feel the need to please with chatter?’

Judas: It’s only nervous chatter when you are unaware that you are chattering because you are uneasy. Not knowing can perpetuate more nervousness. When you stop and think, ‘Well I’m talking a lot because I like it,” then that’s okay. There’s nothing, from the human perspective, that is wrong with that.

Me: Yeah, I have nervous chatter to fill in silence, but I also like to talk and share things with people. It’s my way of forming connections, of connecting with people. That’s why I like it. Have you incarnated on the earth now?

Judas: I have several incarnations going on.

Me: On the earth?

Judas: On Earth and elsewhere. There are four going on on the earth now and several going on elsewhere in the Universe.

Multitasker. Bravo, dude.

Me: Which one do you think resonates most with you or that I would want to hear about?

(Long pause)

Robert (chuckling): Well that’s sweet. He says it’s not a human being. None of his incarnations on Earth are human.

Me: Oh wow.

Robert: A koala bear!

Me: I love koala bears! They’re so cute, but they must be bored with their diet! Eucalyptus leaves for breakfast, lunch, dinner and bedtime snack. Oh my god. Why did you choose to incarnate as one of those?

(Pause)

Me: Of course it just makes me want to hug you even more.

Robert (laughing): I know! Exactly!

Judas: There’s a bit of irony in their diet because eucalyptus is primarily known as a poison. Many human beings, for so long, saw me as a poisonous person as were my actions.

Robert: So is that why you wanted to be a koala bear?

Me: Yeah, what the heck? Maybe it’s because of the hugs you never had as a kid.

Judas: I didn’t really have an intention for being one, but I guess as we’re talking about it, it’s because I’m really soft and cuddly when you get to know me.

Me: Aw.

Judas: You just have to get past everything else.

Robert: He acts like a regular Joe to me.