I want to let you guys know that I’m going on Spring Break with the family. I’ll leave Saturday and return Thursday. Jesse Sulam and Kate Sitka very graciously agreed to fill in for me on Monday and Tuesday. There won’t be any post on Wednesday, however. Y’all probably need a break anyway! Tomorrow I’ll post a celebrity interview, and today, Erik reveals the secrets behind Easter Island!
Me: You know Easter Island with all the big heads on it? What’s that all about? It’s a mystery. No one knows what these heads are all about.
Erik: First of all, it’s not just the heads.
Me: Oh, okay.
Erik: They have bodies.
Me: Oh!
Erik: Yeah, they’re just buried underground. I think they’re digging that shit out.
Me: Oh, you’re right! I remember reading that.
Jamie: Those heads are huge, aren’t they?
Me: Yeah. Stone giants. That’s what they call them.
Jamie: Man!
Erik: They’re icons.
Me: Tell me more.
Erik (with a booming voice): ICONS TO THE GODS!
Jamie and I laugh. Erik’s so silly.
Erik: You know, back then, this alien interaction shit was happening, but it wasn’t so fucking amazing that—
(Long pause)
Jamie (to Erik): What do you mean, because of their intelligence level?
Jamie: Okay. He’s talking about the people who lived on the island.
Erik: When spacecrafts came down, they were—
Jamie (to Erik, frustrated): Erik, you’re driving me crazy! Get your ADD together!
I giggle. How well I know.
Jamie (laughing hard): He’s telling me that I’m not speaking fast enough.
Erik: You know this is how it works! You have to listen to what I said, and then just roll with me.
Jamie (to Erik): Work with me today.
Erik: The interaction between them and aliens wasn’t seen as foreign as it is today, so, for us, it’s sci-fi, but, for them, it was in their story, in their culture, you know, the Great Old One would say, “Oh, when the gods came down and duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, and helped us through this shit and that shit—“ They all knew about those guys. So, when it happened it wasn’t like, “Holy fuck! This is blowing our minds!” But they helped out, um…
Me: Well, what was their purpose there?
Erik: Which ones?
Me: The aliens.
Erik: To help the culture. They also did a lot of exchange for gold or other kinds of metals. There were reasons why they were coming to Earth.
Me (puzzled): Oh, was there gold there?
Erik: Not on the island, no.
Me: Where was the gold? They got the wrong end of that deal, huh?
Erik: In other places on Earth, but holy fuck, it’s not like you travel all over the universe and land in just one spot.
Me: Ah, okay. So, the aliens who landed on Easter Island for gold drew the short stick. Is that what you’re saying?
Erik: No, but they helped. This is before the days of the contract and snub-wub (???) on Earth. The human population was thriving and all of a sudden they couldn’t fucking interact with us cuz of what it would do, so—
(Long pause)
Jamie: He’s showing me that the heads were several different, each a different person. Each and every one of them is different.
Me: Do these heads represent the aliens only, or are some of them the inhabitants of the island.
Erik: Inhabitants of the island, in honor of them. But they line up with eight other places in the world.
Me: Oh!
Jamie: He’s showing me in comparison to other locations, it’s something about longitude and latitude numbers. He’s kind of whizzing through a globe and pointing down at some configurations or markings on the Earth compared to where the stars are.
Me: Mm hm.
Jamie: Which is why that place became so popular.
(Pause)
Me: Why? I don’t understand. Why is it so popular?
Erik: It’s popular for inter-dimensional beings to arrive, to show up.
Me: But why would latitude and longitudes make it popular? Are there intersections of some sort?
Erik: Yes.
Me: So what? So it intersected. Who cares?
Erik: Well, you’re not an alien, are ya?
Jamie: Ha, ha, ha!
Me: Well, maybe. Who knows? The jury’s out on that one.
Erik: Mom, you’re so trapped in a human body right now; you have to own up to it.
Me (with a voice of mock resignation): Okay. Fine. So, seriously, why would that be an advantage this whole “lining up with the stars” thing?
Jamie: It’s something about how the stars are lined up. It’s almost like a map in the way.
Me: So, do these intersections make their navigation easier?
Jamie: Or at least left markings there. He’s showing me it’s a map. They’re mapping it.
Me: Okay.
I guess I’m not going to be making much headway on this, so I surrender.
Me: All right. So, let’s go back to what their purpose was there. The aliens wanted to help, you said. Oh no! Before you answer that, why are they using statues of people to honor the aliens? Why not have statues of the aliens?
Erik: Cuz these are the honored people. You know, these aliens didn’t come to be seen as gods and goddesses. They came out of kindness and goodness to help. What kind of asshole comes to help, and then says, “Now build every fucking monument in my honor and to my liking!”
Me: Who built them, the aliens or the inhabitants?
Erik: The inhabitants.
Me: Okay, so the people build statues of themselves to honor the aliens? That’s kind of weird.
I’m totally FUBARed here.
Erik: No! Not to honor the aliens! It was to honor the relationships.
Me: Oh!
Erik: Think about it. A president. We do busts and stuff of the president, and the president, let’s say, has the job of being in contact with the aliens.
Hypothetically, I’m sure. Or not?
Me: Oh, I understand! So, it was to honor those who worked with the aliens.
Erik: Yes.
Me: Okay. Let’s go back to the purpose of the aliens. In what way did they help?
Erik: They taught them how to build.
Me: Okay. Did they teach them how to build these giant monuments?
Erik: Yes. They taught them how to manipulate weight and gravity.
Me: Did they get the rock, the building material from the island?
Erik: Yes.
Me: Why is part of them buried underground?
Erik: That’s just age.
Me: Oh, it sunk in? Interesting. Okay, now some of them have these funky looking hats on them like cylinders on top of their heads and some of them don’t. Why is that?
Erik: They were normally made from metals and crystals.
Me: Mm hm.
Jamie bursts out into laughter at whatever Erik just said.
Jamie: Someone has watched Weird Science before! He’s showing me the image of putting underwear on top of the head.
Me: Oh, well you’ve done that before, Erik.
Long story short. When my Erik was around 5 or 6, he and two of his younger siblings would put their whitey-tighties on top of their head and some sort of sling across their shoulders which was filled with a bunch of their rolled up socks. Then they’d run around pelting each other with the socks. Sort of a sock war thing. When one of Lukas’s friends came to the door, his father saw the commotion and said, “I guess there’s an entire chapter devoted to this in your parenting book.” He was referring to my book, Raising Children Who Think for Themselves.
Erik: The hats are to communicate or to make a connection. This was the way a communication was being made.
Me: Ah! So racing stripes are a mode of communication.
Jamie laughs.
Erik: So, these little curly top hats—
(Pause)
Jamie: Oh, he’s saying that the designs were actually taken from nature, from the ocean, the shells, the nautical shells.
Me: Interesting. So, the way of communication, it was some sort of special metal, you said?
Erik: Yeah.
Me: Is it a metal we can find here on Earth?
Erik: Yeah.
Me: Okay. What is it? (For the love of god, toss me a bone!)
Jamie: To me, it just looks like gold.
Me: Is it gold, Erik?
Erik: It’s mixed with other things.
Me: Okay. So, it was helpful with communication, huh?
Erik: Yeah, it wasn’t a transmitter or anything, Mom. It wasn’t a computer.
Me: So, what was it?
He’s making me work for this one. Sigh.
Me: I’m going to pull it out of you somehow.
Erik: It’s just a fucking hat.
Jamie laughs.
Jamie (to Erik): I know, but we’re asking what does the hat signify?
Erik: Well, to them, it signified that they could communicate or they had access to things.
Me: Okay.
Jamie: I think he’s saying it’s the whole, “Got you” thing.
Me: Oh, so it’s like, “I can communicate, and you can’t.” The hats are an indication that that person is one of the communicators.
Jamie: Or based on, as he’s saying, some sort of ritual, and they’re being honored with one of these.
Me: So, what’s the ritual? Is it to confirm that, you know—?
Erik: That you were worthy enough to communicate or are a part of.
Me: Interesting.
One last note: If you haven’t yet purchased my book, My Son in the Afterlife: Conversations from the Other Side, please consider it. If you have, lend it to others so they could benefit from it or buy them their own copy. You can purchase it for Nook, Kindle, as a regular book or an audiobook. (It’s kind of funny to hear the woman saying all of Erik’s F-bombs. That’s worth the purchase right there!) Here’s the link to Amazon. BUY HERE.
