Between screwing with my electric garage door opener (“I have a sexual fetish for that thing” he says) Erik also chimes in from time to time but thankfully has left rancid smells alone; to a point. He likes to add a few potent chemical aromas to moments of certain bodily functions, however for The Master of Disaster, the Doctor of Scatological, that’s typical. How many of us get that “input” at such moments? Embarrassed yet? “Ha ha ha” he cackles, like a diabolical, mad scientist.  I digress.

Given Elisa’s suggestion about Erik interviews, the Substitute Teacher asks about current events, Erik style. As readers of the substitute teacher’s rantings might have noticed, there are shared “appreciations” of things mechanical and noisy. Motorcycles, large, noisy, fast or in any way obnoxious & ugly vehicles, (“ugly to YOU, maybe”) rocket launchers, fighter jet aircraft, (“All that shit” he says) are common interests & hobbies. Had Erik remained in the physical, his Man Cave would be turned into a House of Politically Incorrect Horrors; green beer on tap, a motorcycle powered toilet, a pick-up truck with a custom porcelain cigar ashtray, a Fart-O-Meter (“Yeah, man, ladies can use it, too! Who said women don’t pass methane?)

Apologies to his sisters. I’ve double digressed.

ST = Substitute Teacher        Erik = who’s Erik? 

ST:    Erik, news about what happens around the world flies around the world just as fast; maybe faster. Does that have anything to do with the events?

Erik:     Hell yeah, reactions create effects; when shit happens public reaction is everything. Look at what happened after the massacre in Connecticut in December. There were politicians ready with legislation, so when it happened right away they were all set to pounce. It means they knew something bad would happen but they were waiting for a “good” moment. How the fuck is a massacre of kids a good moment? So you see how reaction has effects.

ST:       So what about effects to the unseen, the energetic?

Erik:     It’s all the same thing, just that there’s a limit to what most humans see. Of course, you’re human. Things you say and do that affect other people’s emotions and just like your thoughts and ideas, those affect things, too.

ST:       So when we hear reactions about “right wing nuts” or “left wing kooks”…

Erik:     It shows how good a name caller the person is. What does it solve?

ST:       What are we supposed to do when we see starving children from far away?

Erik:     Hop into the Star Trek transporter and get over there and fix everything.

ST:       That’s silly, we couldn’t do that.

Erik:     Nope, so why worry about it? I’m not sayin’ you shouldn’t feel bad but why the fuck do they show that stuff? To get you to donate. Is that going to help? Look into yourself and decide, but bad shit always happened and it always will. Horrible to watch a deer getting shot, until you watch the deer dying the way it will if it ain’t hunted and then the rifle shot starts to look pretty humane, doesn’t it?

ST:       OK, what about Syria right now; there’s a rebellion and the powers afraid to lose are killing the people.

Erik:     Pretty obvious, murdered citizens are less important than power.  It’s obvious as dog crap on a sidewalk.

ST:       So what can be done about it?

Erik:     Simple; whoever wants to fix it, ask what you did to make it that way.

ST:       Well, that might be the UK, the USA that would consider intervention.

Erik:     OK, and that’ll fix it permanently or only until the next king oversteps and sets off a rebellion? See, you ain’t gonna run that country until it’s yours and the people there don’t want you to run it, no matter what.

ST:       OK, then what about Europe, the currency problems in Cyprus and the fears of this problem spreading.

Erik:     It’s gonna happen. It’s gonna spread.

ST:       So what can be done about it?

Erik:     Go back in time, spend and borrow less.

ST:       Right.

Erik:     Since that ain’t an option, you’re the one person, get your money before someone else does but that’s only temporary.

ST:       Why?

Erik:     The value of money is gonna drop there, and then what? You ain’t gonna stop eating and the food business doesn’t wanna work for free, so you figure it out.

ST:       It doesn’t look good.

Erik:     It’s “The Shift” man, grab a higher gear, things are going to happen faster.

ST:       OK, USA?

Erik:     Same shift, same shit, different accent.

ST:       Money will lose value?

Erik:     Investments will, money’ll be around like Europe, but you can only buy so much whatever, you still have to give something to somebody they can use themselves. Basic economics, the rules will be there, different understanding.

ST:       What social reactions will there be?

Erik:     Nobody’s gonna like it, but there will be some who see consumerism fading as good. Some people will get their freak on, and revolt. That’s gonna make some chaos and that’s why they’re buying so much ammo.

ST:       You mean certain non-military agencies?

Erik:     Yup, they’re preparing for social revolt. If they stop borrowing and spending on disability, food stamps, medical treatment, unemployment benefits there will be political trouble and revolt. It’s gonna happen anyway, even though they’re tryin’ to print their way out of it. All the yappity yap is just a big handjob.

ST:       Erik! Strong mental image!

Erik:     They know it’s a matter of time; stop spending now, revolt. Stop later, revolt.

ST:       Why can’t it continue?

Erik:     Look at Europe; some places can’t borrow any more, the credit card is maxed out and they don’t have a printing press. Use that printing press too much and it becomes obvious and then nobody wants the money after a while. As that comes closer, everybody wants a shitload more money for the same thing, ‘cause it’s just being printed. Like I said, print job, hand job.

ST:       Is there any way to avoid this?

Erik:     Yeah, go through the pain now, but it ain’t gonna happen like that.

ST:       Why not?

Erik:     Even if you stole money, you want everyone else to accept it. Almost all of it is earned, you know anybody that wants to just toss away what they earned? So, they’ll hang on to it, pull back.

ST:       So what’ll happen?

Erik:     After a while, getting pissed off and rebelling is also gonna stop working, ‘cause it ain’t ever gonna work but then everybody’s gonna see that. So things’ll calm down.

ST:       Why?

Erik:     How much food is ready to eat now? How much of what you have can be stored How long? So how long is needed to grow, package, and deliver it? So when you add this up, we get to maybe a few months, tops. So let’s all stop eating ‘cause there’s no good money and in a few months, humanity disappears. See, that ain’t gonna happen. So things are gonna have to shift, see the word being used?

ST:       OK, what about new laws for the USA?

Erik:     Like?

ST:       Gay marriage is a big deal, it’s now a Supreme Court case.

Erik:     Court’s gonna say each state should decide and the federal law in effect now, is gonna go away mostly. No big deal.

ST:       Why’s it no big deal?

Erik:     Laws don’t make people gay or otherwise and they don’t convert anything. Some people think gay marriage is crazy; then they aren’t gonna marry a woman if they are one, or a man a man if they don’t like it. Laws aren’t gonna make anybody like it if they already don’t. Not much is gonna change. This ain’t big deal, like the other big deals coming along.

ST:       So what about gun control?

Erik:     Psycho control works but that’s hard shit to figure out and it’s too complicated for a politician ‘cause people don’t want complicated politician stuff.

ST:       What about legalization of marijuana?

Erik:     Already happening. Smoking is bad, like it’s been said. Find a way not to damage your lungs.

ST:       Thanks Erik, I see enough dirty toe and heel marks on other people’s shoes, we’ll give it a rest for now.

Erik:     Later, man.