As you’ll see by this post, losing a body doesn’t mean you lose your emotions, your ability to worry and to grieve. On the flip side, they can still feel love, something Erik does best, as his grave marker (and I) can affirm.

Channeling Transcript

Me: Gosh, I don’t think we have time to interview another celebrity today. Maybe we can start one?

Erik: Nah, that’s lame! Let’s not just do half of one.

Me: Yeah, you’re right. So, let’s talk about you, Erik? How are you? How is your life going? Sometimes I forget that I need to see how my baby boy’s doing.

Erik: I’m good, Mom. I just want to say I don’t think you really know what a following you have for the blog. It’s obscene; I mean that in a good way. People get addicted to it, and some of them haven’t really lost anyone. It’s like their daily affirmation or they want to learn a tidbit here and there. It’s working successfully. So if you just kind of put out little teasers for the celebrity interviews, that’ll be good. You’re gonna have to publish a book first, then the movie or TV show will come. The celebrity book will be a good start, even though it’s cheesy in the same breath. You can edit it and self-publish it so you can sell it for cheap.

Me: Like an e-book or a hard copy thing?

Jamie: That’s what I used—publishing on demand. So it can be hardcopy but there’s no waste, but they still can buy it as an e-book or Kindle format.

Me: Yes, and we can used most of the profits for our non-profit organization.

Erik: Why not? You’ve done all the hard work. And, once you have a product, people will call and say, “Can you come on our talk show?”

Me: Yeah.

Erik: Then when you go on those shows to talk about the book, you can also talk about the blog and say, “Listen, here it is. Follow it.”.

Me: Yeah! Huh.

Erik: That’s what I’ve been thinking about, but I’m trying to figure out a way to sell it to you.

Me: Well, I’ve been working my way through the transcripts.

Erik: But I gotta let you know that the end of this year is going to be really challenging for you.

Me: Yeah, probably.

Erik: Emotionally.

Me: Oh, no.

Erik: There’ll be a lot of good-byes, a lot of separations, some deaths. And I hope that you find a sense of —regularity?

Jamie (giggling): He just kind of puts his hands out and laughs and says, “I don’t know if that’s the right word.”

Erik: But I want you to stay grounded, Mom.

Me (choked up): It’s not easy for me sometimes.

Erik: Do fall apart when you need to.

Me: Oh yeah. You don’t have to worry. I do; I definitely do.

Erik (crying): I love you so much, and I—

Jamie (tearfully): Oh!

(Pause)

Jamie (to Erik): Honey, it’s okay.

(Long pause)

Jamie (crying): He’s crying. There is something up with him today. He’s so different. Very calm.

Me: Is everything okay, Sweetie? Everything okay with your girlfriend?

Erik: Yeah, everything’s fine with me; I just wanna take care of you more.

Me: Oh, so sweet.

(Poignant pause)

Me: Yeah.

Erik (still crying): So, I’ll be sure to give you more signs and encouragement.

Me (crying): Okay. I think you have. I’ve felt all sorts of goosebumps. Been kind of a rough couple of weeks.

Jamie (sweetly): Oh, it has?

Me: Yeah.

Jamie: He does like a little fist to his heart, thumps on his chest like—

Me: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Erik: I’m feeling it here. Maybe we need to sit down and watch some reruns of SNL.

Me: There we go! We can watch Chris Fartly. (to Jamie) We used to call him “Chris Fartly” just for fun.

Jamie laughs.

Me: Okay. Well, I love you very much, Baby, and I will talk to you as I do every day. I’m going to go check on my dad and see how he’s doing right now. Thank you, Jamie, and yep, I’m going to keep plugging away like I always do.

Jamie: You’re so welcome, and he says he loves you more.

Me: Aw, okay. Love y’all.

Jamie: Bye.

Me: Bye. 

Knowing what I know now, his epitaph should have been written in present tense: He loves deeply and is deeply loved. Sigh.