Sorry for not posting yesterday. I’ve been so sick with some godforsaken virus that I’ve pretty much been in bed for 48 hours. I don’t even remember being confined to bed for any significant period of time except when my OB doc ordered me to undergo complete bedrest during one of my pregnancies. I don’t know why I’ve been getting sick so frequently. What a pain in the arse, and why did it have to destroy a freaking weekend! I’m not completely well yet, but at least I’m out of bed, free from the danger of bedsores. We have two more parts to our Love series, including the one below. Enjoy!
Me: So say a person does not love themselves. What advice can you give them, Erik? How can they find self-love?
Erik: Well, they just need to love themselves.
Robert: Well, we know that! He’s just being silly. I know he’s just being silly because he never just says that!
Erik: I’m trying to make a point. My point is that that’s a lot of times what people do. That person will just sit there and go, “Well you just need to love yourself.” You don’t tell them how to do it, of course.
He lost me.
Erik: What you need to do is very simple. If you sense that someone is not loving themselves, you don’t need to sit there and tell them all the things they need to do to love themselves. That’s going to overwhelm them and make them feel alone. Be simple about it. Project compassion and kindness to them. Hold their hand if they don’t have issues with that or hug them or whatever.
Me: Cooties!
Erik: Just be kind to them is the bottom line. That little bit of kindness is infinitely powerful. It really is.
Me: Yeah, sure. So that’s advice for people who are around someone who doesn’t feel self-love. What about the person who loathes themselves or at least doesn’t fully love themselves?
Erik: That can be a little bit more difficult because the person might be unwilling or unable to do it. Sometimes that’s an instance where you’re so into yourself because you’re projecting everything onto yourself. It’s all about you. You need to take small steps to take away that focus on yourself and put it onto a plant or a pet or another person. Something. Take small steps and allow yourself to connect to that other thing that’s outside of you.
Me: Yeah.
I just love my witty repartees. Sigh.
Erik: Allow yourself to love that, and I guarantee you that over time, you’ll start to slowly take that love back to you. That’s because that thing that’s external to you, that person, plant or pet or child—
Robert: Well, that is a person, Erik.
Erik: Yeah, dude.
Robert (laughing): He’s making me laugh!
Erik: They will give that love back to you. You’ll then feel that, and you’ll like it! Over time, you’ll be able to do that for yourself. You’ll be able to feel that kind of love for yourself.
It’s true. After surviving a brutal childhood, I learned to love myself through the love I received from my children.
Robert: That’s very good, Erik!
Me: I like that! A lot of people don’t love themselves because of their perceived flaws. How can they change their perspective with regards to their flaws? For example, I have so many flaws that I can’t even count them, but I come from a place of endearment with them like, “Oh, that’s clumsy Elisa! She trips on an invisible crack in the floor and pulls doors that should be pushed, or she runs off at the mouth without even thinking about what she’s going to say.” Those are three of my most common, but I could go on. Actually, I could write all about my flaws and go, “This book will be in paperback in 6 months.”
Robert chuckles.
Me: So, take it from there.
Erik: First volume.
Me: Ha!
Erik: It’s a ten-volume set.
Robert: Well, I feel the same way.
Erik: Mom, you’re approaching it just the way I was going to say. It’s about humor. It’s about joy and happiness, seeing those things and laughing at them. When you do that, you’re basically pushing all that judgment you either took on because of things external to yourself that you’ve internalized.
Me: Mm.
Erik: You’re approaching it from a place of higher vibration by laughing at it. A lot of people, when they see a flaw, they see it as something they need to fix or erase.
Me: Yeah. I tried. I cannot, uh, I’m clumsy, and there’s no undoing that. No, I just have to laugh about it.
Erik: Well, yeah, and what happens is—say someone wants to improve their physical body and the way it looks. In that instance, they’re approaching it from vanity. Vanity is not sustainable.
Me: It’s all ego based.
And anything of the ego isn’t sustainable.
Erik: So they’re approaching it from that perspective, and they’re getting their body worked up and worked up and worked up to get it more ripped or whatever. They might end up injuring themselves severely because they sabotaged themselves. That’s because they approached it from a completely different place. You could approach it from another way and say, “I want to be healthy” and don’t worry about the hard body.
Me: Yeah.
Erik: You want to be healthy and well. If you do that’ you’ll probably end up with a hard body anyway. It’s not necessarily going to happen for everybody, but when you do that, you’re coming at it from a place of self-acceptance and love.
Me: Well what about the person, for example, who has a disfiguring burn on their face? It’s hard to find the humor in that for most people.
Erik: You’re right, Mom. It depends on the personality because some people would be able to.
Me: Okay.
Erik: Some people would be able to find a way to disarm people with some kind of humor.
Me: Okay. What, like, “Oh, I think I got to heavy into the s’mores in the campfire?” I guess you could make jokes about it.
I don’t think I’d be one of those people. It must take enormous self-acceptance and self-love.
Erik: For the majority of the public, that’s not something they’d be able to do.
Me: No. I couldn’t.
Erik: There are souls out there who are articulate enough and connected to the humor in their heart to be able to do that.
Me: Well, what about the people who can’t? What can we tell them?
Erik: The people can’t for one need to deal with any trauma they’re holding onto because of that experience. They’ll need to address that in some way. Some might be able to approach it from the standpoint of hope. Some of those souls might be very creative and write and produce beautiful works of prose or poetry or whatever. These can touch the hearts of others. Then they’re coming at it from a place of wisdom.
Me: Ah. Like, “I’ve chosen to have this trauma make me wiser, and I want to share that wisdom with the world.”
Erik: Yeah, or they might do something different and project compassion and kindness to other individuals in whatever way they see fit. Not everyone is going to be creative and write or do artistry or something. The bottom line is—not just for the person with the burn but for everybody—they need to get in touch with doing things for themselves that help them feel free and have a sense of peace and joy. When they do that, they can’t help but want to share that with other people. That’s going to be the thing that creates connections, and when a person feels connected, they’re not going to have a problem with accepting themselves at all. And they’re not going to be doing things that are destructive to their bodies. I can tell you that so many people—not just from the blog but from all over the place—the ones that are harming themselves or don’t accept themselves have a hard time connecting to other people or things. That’s why I mentioned the importance of finding something external to yourself to try and connect with. It’s that simple.
Me: Okay.
Erik: Find another living thing that will give that love back. And if you’re deeply introverted and you’re creative, you can put all of those connections into the thing that you’re creating and then share it with the world. That will bring that connection back to you. Everyone will project love back to you for what you’re doing.
Me: Yeah, and people have to realize that they’re not their body. We are eternal beings using this vehicle temporarily. Thank god. I think my lease is almost up.
Erik: It was a shock to me, Mom. When I came over here—
Me: My body is a lease, thank god because it’s not wearing too well!
Looks like a rental. You know how people treat those!
Erik: When I came back Home and found out I’m not my body, I was like, ‘Where the fuck is my body? Oh my god. My body. It’s gone.’
Me: Wow. That’s weird.
Erik: I like this much better.
Me: I bet you do.
Before I sign off, please check this announcement from our wonderful medium, Emma McIntosh:
Hey guys! Join me on August 13th at 2pm EST for my class, “Mediumship for Beginners: on Learn it Live.This is a class for those interested in awakening their psychic strengths, their intuition and eventually communicating with the spirit world whether your goal is to be in communion with your Higher Self or become a practicing psychic medium. This class is recommended for beginners or those who wish to revisit their techniques and deepen their connection to Spirit. See you there!
Love and light,
Emanuelle McIntosh
For more information click on the link below:
https://www.learnitlive.com/
Last but not least, if you missed it, here’s the amazing afterlife interview of Edgar Cayce!
