Today is a very sad day. A friend that my daughter, Annika, has known since preschool died Friday in a very tragic way. She and our family were very close. She even traveled with us to San Antonio and Florida. I went to the viewing yesterday, and, as is always the case, it was clear to me that what remained of Emma was a shell. The spark in her eye that was her soul was gone. I plan to help with the wake, but, although I fully intended to, I just can’t go to the memorial service. It would remind me of Erik’s. My heart just bleeds for the family. I remember the call from the cornea donation place, having to pick out a casket, the corner decorations, the marker and its message, the plot, the clothes he would wear. I remember looking at his neck and getting a glimpse of the Y incision made during his autopsy. I remember caressing his hair only to have some of it come off, because they had to put color matched “fake” hair to cover up the bullet hole. It triggers so much pain, but I plan to take her mother under my wing and help her get through this. I know when Erik died there was no one there who had lost a child. 

By the way, I forgot to tell you that Erik used to always wear the same kind of hat as that dude in the Believe video. He loved fedoras. I didn’t get that connection until after I posted the YouTube, but I think that’s pretty cool. Plus, the guy’s energy reminds me so much of Erik’s. 

Here’s yet another neglected post. I think I have one more. Also, I just wanted to tell you guys that I just interviewed Farrah Fawcett and Meher Baba. I have to finish the session I’m transcribing now, but then I’ll get on these. Each of them takes me several days, because my days are so full of other things. I hope you look forward to them!

Me: Okay. Anything about your growth? I’m not focusing on you, Erik. About you.  I know about your trying to understand the difference between participation and involvement thing.

Erik: That is part of my growth.

Me: Yeah, but how else are you doing there? Tell me your life over there. What’s going on besides just helping me? Now, for every one hour you talk about me, I want you to spend one hour talking about you!

Jamie giggles.

Erik: I did. I told you about how I’m learning how to be involved but not be involved.

Me: Okay. Well, what else? What else is going on in your life?

Erik: Oh, my god, that’s like been the biggest topic on my head for about two months.

Me: Well, do you have any fun over there? What do you do with your day besides blog-related things?

Erik: My fun is playing with my balls.

Jamie (laughing hard): Oh, Erik!

Me: Oh, god. Well, it always has been probably. (Sigh) What else, Erik?

Jamie is still laughing.

Me: By the way, a lot of people seem to have crushes on you, but I saw one comment in the Channeling Erik group, “Yeah, I always had a crush on him, but now I really do once I found out he had a big package.”

Jamie laughs. I don’t know how much more of this she can take.

Jamie: He’s just laughing. He’s pointing at his crotch and going, “That’s the ticket.”

I giggle.

Jamie (to Erik): You wish you knew how to use it! Next topic, Erik. Um, he’s showing me a picture of being on—it’s a motorcycle, but it’s not like a Harley. It’s one of those fancy ones with the—

Me: Like a crotch rocket?

Jamie (laughing): Crotch rocket! Yeah.

Me: Okay.

Jamie: Doo—dook—

Me: Ducati? Okay, yeah.

(My husband only rides Ducatis and Erik used to love riding my red Ducati Monster.

Jamie: And, um (Pause) He’s showing me a bunch of pictures. He’s on it. It’s a steel gray color and he’s on a road that has no speed limit.

Me: I hope you’re wearing your helmet.

Jamie: It’s kind of a mountainous place, but it looks like a highway. He said it’s on Earth. Oh, the, um. Oh my god, I just totally forgot the name of it. That road that doesn’t have a speed limit. It’s in Europe, right?

Me: Oh, the Autobahn, for one?

Jamie: The Autobahn, yeah. So, yeah, he apparently has a few other friends who are biker fans as well.

Erik: We kind of blow steam off by doing that.

Me: Good!

Erik: It’s not racing, though. It’s just the joy of riding.

Me: All right. Anything else you wanna talk about? Your fun? Your life over there? I forget to ask you these things, because these sessions are so blog-driven. I want to know more about my baby!

Erik: Well, tell Pappa not to be disappointed that I’m not racing, but I am still enjoying them.

Me: Good. The Ducati is his favorite bike. That’s it. That’s what he races with.

Jamie: Are you serious?

Me: Yeah.

Erik: It’s not like we have a garage full of them or anything, because we don’t need to keep them like that. We just manifest them. If it’s something we can think about, create and dream up, then we can get it.

Me: That’s awesome.

Erik: Yeah, it’d definitely be good for the Earth, that whole recycling thing.

Me: Okay, tell me one more thing that you do during the day. Or night. As if there were day and night.

Jamie: That is wild, because when you said “night” I didn’t see it at all. There was no image. It was just kind of a softer version of a day.

Me: Oh!

(Pause)

Me: You go clubbing?

Jamie: No, he’s showing me this building he’s walking into, and it’s huge! It’s not tall. It’s maybe 12 or 13 stories tall. Not like a skyscraper or anything, but it’s got a fascinating shaped roof. It’s kind of domed or domed with a little bit of wave. It makes you wonder how it’s standing up like that.

Me: Oh, okay.

Jamie: And tons of glass. Tons of light coming in. Very unique. Almost reminds me of an observatory, but on a way huger scale. And he says there are places, he’s saying the word, but I don’t get it! It’s the name of the building. It’s some name for the building. You go in and you, um—

(Long pause)

Jamie: Sorry. It’s more images that words right now, so I’m trying to watch and then know what I’m about to explain, because I don’t know what it is. I know I’m in a room structure, but there’s something about it where you can transport yourself.

Me: Hm!

Jamie: Time. Space. Cuz I know that the body, itself—the spirit—can think. It’s driven by attraction and it can go where it needs to go or wants to go, and that’s how spirits travel. But he’s talking about going to other universes and galaxies.

Me: Is it like a portal? Is that what you’re saying?

Erik: Yeah, we can say it’s like a portal, but it’s not electronically driven. Nobody goes, “What’s your destination please, Sir” and then they pull a switch.

Jamie and I laugh.

Me: Beam me up, Scotty! Well, can you do that outside of the building? Aren’t you able to think about another galaxy and be there?

Erik: Well, yes, but this is the building where we learn about these other galaxies or remember them, because there is so much—there are infinite amount information and knowledge. It’s not like we carry that all around in our consciousness. So, when you wanna go and learn about a new place—it’s not really learning. It’s just recalling. Pulling the information back in.

Me: Okay.

Erik:  It’s almost like trigger rooms. You know, you go into a room and you go, “I remember this place. Of course. It’s called this, and this is where it’s located in the stars.”

Me: So it reinserts or you reinsert into your consciousness that bit of information of those memories.

Erik: Right, and you have to have that clarity before you can transport yourself to that place.

Me: Okay.

Erik: Because if you’re not clear, you ain’t going to get there. That’s stupid.

Me: Yeah. You have to know—

Erik: It’s like saying, “I want a sandwich” and like, what the fuck are you going to get then? You didn’t specify ham, cheese, lettuce and tomato. You’re just going to get this shit that you created. Then you’re going to be disappointed and you have to think about what sandwich you really want, so…

Me: Exactly. All right.

Great. Now I’m starving.

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Dear Reader,

The journey on which you’re about to embark will take you through stories that are deeply personal and involves a relationship between a mother and her son.

As a physician raised by two atheists, I had no personal belief system about life after death. In a word, I was a confirmed skeptic. As my journey progressed, my mind opened. It is my sincerest hope that yours will open as well and that you will have a greater understanding of your own life and what’s to come ahead.

Although Erik sometimes paints a rosy picture of the afterlife, time and time again he stresses that suicide is not the answer to one’s problems. If you struggle, please understand that the information in my blog and my book is no substitute for professional help. Please click here for a list of resources for help when you find yourself considering taking your own life. Know that they are readily available when you feel that hopelessness and despair that many of us feel from time to time in our lives.

I refuse all donations and ad revenue on the blog. It is my dream to one day establish a nonprofit organization that delivers a variety of spiritual services for those who have lost loved ones to suicide and cannot afford that assistance on their own. It’s a mission of love, sacrifice, and dedication.

Love and light,

Elisa